


flowers

by wonnietv (heoneybee)



Series: flowers au [1]
Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Arranged Marriage, Historical Fantasy, M/M, Prince Hyungwon, Slow Burn, crown prince minhyuk, like the slowest burn to ever burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-04-16 11:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 91,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14163384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heoneybee/pseuds/wonnietv
Summary: it started slowly and built up; the climax seemed almost anticlimactic in face of current events and next to all the talk of approaching war and urging for haste, hyungwon seemed to be the only one dreading the peace treaty. it was selfish and childish and the tantrum he threw didn’t get him further than disappointed and disapproving glances from his parents."we raised you better than this, hyungwon." his mother said sternly; his father couldn’t seem to look at him. they implored him to see reason and understand that the well being of the kingdom went above that of one person. he was the prince and he should feel honoured for the chance to serve his kingdom.





	1. calla lily

**Author's Note:**

> this is gonna be a long ride y'all better get popcorn. i also have over 15k of this written out already so i'll try to post regularly

_the maids weaved white calla lilies into his hair and hyungwon thought about how ironically beautiful the beginning of the end seemed_.

 

*

 

it started slowly and built up; the climax seemed almost anticlimactic in face of current events and next to all the talk of approaching war and urging for haste, hyungwon seemed to be the only one dreading the peace treaty. it was selfish and childish and the tantrum he threw didn’t get him further than disappointed and disapproving glances from his parents.

 

         "we raised you better than this, hyungwon." his mother said sternly; his father couldn’t seem to look at him. they implored him to see reason and understand that the well being of the kingdom went above that of one person. he was the prince and he should feel honoured for the chance to serve his kingdom. hyungwon wanted to argue and point at his older brother and ask why he wasn’t the sacrificial lamb, but hyunwoo was the crown prince, he had been raised to be a king. hyungwon was raised to become a dainty consort and serve as charming arm candy.

 

( he still recalled when they were little and his father pressed a wooden sword into hyunwoo's hands, making the little boy smile bright, his clothes dirtied with mud from playing outside and wrestling with the soldier's kids. hyungwon also remembered watching the scene unfold from his seat on the windowsill, his clothes silky and ruffled and soft. all too clearly could he recall running downstairs to borrow his brothers wooden sword and play with the other kids only to have it taken away by his mother and her gentle hands replace the harsh wood with a fragile flower.

 

         "those toys aren't for you, hyungwon. come on, you can stroll through the garden with me." )

 

each and every one of his attempts to follow his older brothers footsteps were quickly vanquished. hyungwon never got the chance to experience muddy clothes, bloody knees and calloused hands. they tried to keep him inside, amongst books and instruments and canvases, teaching him how to entertain and hold conversations and charm. tactical thinking only served so long as he was to whisper his thoughts into someone else's ear and not voice them on his own.

 

he was confused at first; angry and jealous of his older brother and puzzled at his parents behaviour. it wasn’t that he was being punished for something, it also wasn’t that that he was the less favoured son, his mother assured. hyungwon simply wasn't born to become a king.

 

it was years later and hyungwon had grown, but he was still bitter, still felt the unfairness prod at his chest and get stuck in his throat like a heavy lump.

 

no sword ever touched his hands, no one ever asked for his opinion on politics, no one demanded him to be included in meetings.

 

his mother’s words always came back to him during those moments of jealousy and anger. _you just weren’t born to be a king_.

 

resignation had been his last option and ultimately hyungwon submitted to their wishes.

 

the only consolation he had were the secrets he kept. the easy way he attached a rope to his balcony and climbed from the smooth marble rail down onto the next tree before sneaking away into the garden house. it was locked at night, but hyungwon made friends with the gardener's son and always went to meet him in secret. the soil always feels slightly warm and a bit moist beneath his bare feet and hyungwon enjoyed it, breathed in the scented air and smiled when his friend did the same.

 

hoseok taught him about flowers, compared them to the prince, with a smile that was infectious and made something deep in hyungwon's gut stir. he ignored the teasing words, ignored the heat that seemed to radiate from his face and averted his eyes whenever hoseok tucked a flower behind his ear. his fingers were warm and rough and he always smelled like grass after rain and fresh soil.

 

         "it's an amaryllis." he remembered hoseok explaining and hyungwon saw hidden meanings linger beneath the smile he showed, but didn’t dare ask.

 

the red flower was placed between the pages of his favourite book where, hyungwon hoped, it would dry but not wither and become a sweet memento.

 

but the atmosphere in the kingdom shifted and hyungwon’s late night rendezvous came to a halt.

 

the next time he received flowers from hoseok it was in the form of a bouquet and one of the maids, the one who weaved the lilies into his hair, was the one to hand them to him. his heart ached as his fingers curled around the lush green stems and he yearned to have his friend next to him. the maid didn’t notice, she smiled, complimented him and adjusted the material of his silk shirt.

 

         "smile, your highness.” hyungwon lifted his eyes from the bouquet and to the mirror in front of him, briefly grazed them over the material of his ceremonial wear — white and shimmery, like pearls, with blooming flowers embroidered in it —, before letting them rest on his own face. he looked tired. anxious. the attempt to force a smile left him grimacing instead and behind him, the door opens.

 

         "it's time." his mother announced softly.

 

instead of white calla lilies, they should have woven carnations into his hair.

 

*

 

his chin was held high. the second prince walked along the silent corridor of the old church. outside the sun was shining, only serving to make him feel more bitter about his current predicament. it was almost mocking; the chirping of the birds, the scent of the flowers that all made it seem like he wasn’t just a wild animal about to be caged and carried off onto foreign ground. up ahead was his fiancé and soon to be spouse - he didn’t dare lift his eyes from the ground.

 

familiar fingers were interwoven with his own. his mother’s caring hands had raised him, nurtured him and now they were the ones to push him towards an imaginary cliff, expecting him to fly when he had gotten so impossibly tangled within a red string, already. she couldn’t have known — not about his late night encounters with hoseok, not about hyungwon’s gently thudding heart, not about the flower that was still safely tucked between the pages of his favourite book —, but gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as if a single touch was enough for her to read all of his worries and fears.

 

she stepped away and hyungwon took his place next to the neighbouring kingdom’s crown prince. he hadn’t planned to look, but curiosity did get the best of him and hyungwon couldn’t help but steal a glance.

 

he looked strangely cold — his pale skin and piercing, sharp eyes, the mane of red hair that seemed so out of place amongst the mass of brown and black. hyungwon wanted to compare him to a fox — sneaky and sly and greedy animals that they were. one summer, a few years back, a fox had snuck its way into their garden, dug up the flowers and ruined the hard work of many weeks. maybe hyungwon would have minded it less if he hadn’t been the one kneeling in the dirt, in the blazing heat of summer, and carefully tended the small portion of garden that belonged to him. why it was that the fox had chosen that of all places to ruin, hyungwon didn’t know, but decided that for whatever reason the animal had a personal vendetta against him.

 

the other prince’s and his eyes only met for a moment, but the tense and pinched muscles of his face and chiselled planes of his cheeks looked challenging and mocking enough for hyungwon to decide that he also must have had his own vendetta. the possibility was high that his situation looked little different than hyungwon’s, that he was just another prince forced into a marriage that wouldn’t make him happy and ultimately led to him sacrificing his youth and joy and freedom for someone he didn’t want. the essential difference to their respective situations was that hyungwon was the one who would leave his home, follow a stranger to a land he had never been to, far away from everything he held dear. it was that distinction that ultimately led to hyungwon’s decision not to feel sympathy for the other prince. if there was someone who deserved sympathy, it was him.

 

his eyes rested on the flowers in his hands, the white petals that so innocently, yet gracefully curled around the bright, yellow core. it reminded him of spring, of summer; the warmth that nestled into the walls of the castle all year around, the gentle rays that streamed into his room, fell over white sheets and old tapestries. the sun, high up in the sky as a constant reminder of what god he prayed to, the flora and fauna a presentation of which goddess gave them all life. hyungwon had believed for so long that all the kindness and faith he had shown would lead to the gods looking at him with favour. his grip around the bouquet tightened; it was a heavy reminder of how little truth that held.

 

the priestess in front of them called for his attention and hyungwon, grudgingly, offered his hand. from the corner of his eye he studied how his own, tan fingers slide over the back of his fiancé’s hand. he had looked so cold, almost like his skin never saw the sun, which made it all the more surprising how warm he felt. red silk is wound around their hands, tying them together before they receive the blessing.

 

hyungwon’s eyes closed with a prolonged exhale.

 

         “and may gaia look favourably upon this union.” the priestess’ voice bellowed through the vast space, her wrinkly hands gentle and soothing as they tugged at the silk band. “you are now officially wed. congratulations, your highness.”

 

*

 

they sat together at the banquet that followed the ceremony. hyungwon had yet to raise his head and his spouse had yet to say a word. there were drunken cheers and bustling servant hands all around, fingers itching for drinks and wide smiles on his people’s faces. they were relieved. war had been an impending threat and the kingdom would have suffered too greatly. the peace treaty had been the best choice and hyungwon wished it wasn’t just contempt that filled him as he watched those around him celebrate. he had been their sacrificial lamb. looking around he could feel an ugly weight settle heavy on his chest; bitter on his tongue and burning his guts as he swallowed the question ‘would they have done the same? would they still be so amused if they were the ones being sold off?’. was it only the selfish second prince who feels wronged by the unfolding events? hyunwoo’s strong shoulders were shaking with laughter — a true future king —, but could he enjoy himself the same if war had been constantly on the back of his mind?  

 

         “you’re frowning,” the voice was raspy, warm breath hitting the shell of his ear and hyungwon froze. “it’s unbecoming.” and for the first time he heard his spouse speak. his tone was formal and schooled in the same way hyungwon had been taught to speak, but his tongue was heavy with the accent of the northern countries.

 

hyungwon barely turned his head, but caught sight of his spouse’s face from the corner of his eyes. he had leaned in to speak and hadn’t bothered to move away, his sharp face too close for comfort despite the intimate meaning of their bond. the need to lean away filled him, but hyungwon didn’t dare. it felt almost like a challenge.

 

         “i hadn’t realised. i hope you will excuse me, your majesty. it certainly wasn’t my intention to appear anything but pleasant to you.” he was saying what he thought the crown prince wanted to hear, secretly hoping it would end their conversation and it showed. something cracked and there was amusement crinkling along the sides of the other prince’s eyes, his lips pulling into a tiny grin.

 

         “i was aware my spouse would come from the country of flowers, but i hadn’t realised you would be a flower yourself. you want to only appear pleasant to me?” the raspy voice fell softer as the crown prince leaned in even further, their shoulders brushing and the warmth of his body coiling like a snake around hyungwon’s side. “does that mean i’m only to look at you and smell you and carry you around in my breast pocket?” he was being mocked.

 

long fingers curled into fists atop his thighs, his knuckles turning pale while hyungwon attempted to keep the rest of his body relaxed. for whatever reason, the crown prince was trying to get a rise out of him, to rile him up and chip away the royal mask all of them wore in public. it was a low blow; a hope for his spouse to embarrass himself in such a way. was he maybe hoping he would be decided unfit if he threw a tantrum at the banquet and he could go home all alone? hyungwon hadn’t been drilled for years to fall this easily.

 

         “if your majesty wishes it to be that way. you can also pluck my petals and leaves and cut me apart. flowers are, after all, passive decoration.”

 

         “maybe so,” he pulled away, but mirth was still dancing on his face, a twinkle shining in dark eyes, “but you strike me more as a wild rose and i’m not enough of a fool to prick myself on poisonous thorns.”

 

hyungwon didn’t say anything, looked away. their conversation died there and the evening rolled around with a finality that made it crystal clear that it would be hyungwon’s last night in his own bed, in his home. it would also be the last chance for him to make sure that once he left, no regrets would be left behind.

 

*

 

he went out for one last visit that night.

 

oddly enough, hoseok seemed to have known he would come. or was it anticipation that stopped him from sleeping, kept him reading? bent over a tiny table with a single candle illuminating the thick book that no doubt held secrets to herbs and their specific remedies. it was a picture that was so familiar it tugged at the strings of his heart, made that known bitterness rise on his tongue — he was forced to swallow it all when hoseok looked up and met his eyes.

 

usually, there would be happiness and adoration reflected in the eyes staring back at him, but all hyungwon could see was dull black. his own lips twitched with the effort it took him to smile and he knew exactly how wrong all of it looked. he was barefoot and the flower crown was left behind in his room, but the garment he was wed in was a stiff reminder of what could have been had he been born as someone other than a prince. stepping in front of hoseok in the shimmering white fabric that seemed to soak up the glow of the moonlight almost made the prince feel like he was tainting it.

 

         “your highness,” hoseok’s usually so cheerful voice sounds strained and hyungwon stood frozen to the spot as he closes his book and sat up straight, “why are you here? shouldn’t you get an early night? you’re leaving at dawn tomorrow.” he was using the wrong tone for a gardener that was speaking to a prince. he was questioning and in the most direct way. his father would call it cheek; incredibly disrespectful.

 

         “i had to come here.” hyungwon replied and he didn’t want to feel like the prince in that moment. not when he was around hoseok. not in their little hideout with the glass roof that allowed stars to settle like a blanket over them. serene and heavy enough to swallow every whispered secret they shared.

 

he was still young; everyone told him that. he was still young, so it should be fine to make those mistakes, shouldn’t it? hyungwon wasn’t betraying anyone, he wasn’t hurting anyone. it was just one last visit, one last time he got to see hoseok and make sure he wouldn’t regret all the unsaid things between them.

 

hoseok seemed to know — he was older, he was wiser, of course, he knew — and he heaved a heavy sigh and rose from his chair with the weight of the world on his shoulders. his lips parted as if to speak — it was a mouth hyungwon held so dear, watched closely as it curled and rounded around sounds, pulled into a lovely smile bright enough to rival the sun — but before a single word could leave him, the prince lifted a hand to silence him.

 

         “i don’t… i think you know just as well as i do that i don’t want this marriage. i don’t want to get send off somewhere far away where everything is unfamiliar. i don’t want to leave my home and i don’t want to leave _you_. hoseok, i—“ his heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest and into hoseok’s arms, but before he could finish what he wanted to say, before he could finally give in to that relief and unload the burden of his feelings onto the gardener, he was being interrupted.

 

         “your highness, please. don’t say it.” and while the thudding of his heart had only been wild before, it quite quickly turned painful. hoseok looked devastated, he looked sad and hurt and hyungwon knew he shouldn’t have expected anything. and he didn’t; but why was he hoping for promises of eternal love and adoration, anyway?

         “i can’t bear to hear you say those words,” hoseok continued, “i already feel horrible enough for what i did. it was a mistake to get so close to you. you’re a prince and i’m just a gardener. i’ve made this unnecessarily harder for the both of us, in the end.”

 

in books — the ones his mother loved to read and hyungwon loved to steal when no one was looking — heartbreak was always described in the most poetic of ways. it is made to seem beautiful and bittersweet, but hyungwon just felt hurt, suffocated. it felt harder to breathe because along with the pain in his own chest, came the one reflecting on hoseok’s face. the gardener tried to smile, still; the smile he knew hyungwon loved, the smile that reminded him of warm summers, warmer hands and the scent of a heaven of flowers. there was nothing soothing about it now.

 

         “congratulations on your marriage, your highness. i wish you all the happiness in the world.”

 

they said, when you love something, let it go, but hyungwon felt like a flightless bird that was being released from the highest tower of the castle. the fall was even more terrifying than imagined because he was falling alone.

 

for a few more seconds he lingered, but everything that had been a source of comfort within the small house had suddenly shifted into hands around his neck and they were _pressing down_. he turned and walked out without another word, thinking he couldn’t have been more embarrassed, the whole thing couldn’t have been more shameful.

 

what gaia could have been thinking, what karma it was, to run straight into his spouse as soon as he turned the corner right outside the garden house. there were unshed tears in his eyes, face pink from the effort it took to stop himself from giving in to his emotions, from the shamefulness of it all. yet he still found the will to clench his jaw and glare at the crown prince. his eyes were calculating, cold. he looked just like he did in the cathedral and just when hyungwon thought he was going to be questioned, the crown prince took off his jacket — a ghastly thing in the dark red colour of the northern kingdom’s crest — and settled it around hyungwon’s slim shoulders.

 

without another word, he left and hyungwon resisted the urge to shrug the jacket off and leave it laying in the dirt, instead of making his way back to his room.

 

the bath he took was scalding hot, but it washed away the soil on his feet, the pink from his cheeks and drowned out the sound of his shattering heart. it did little to stop the few, stubborn drops of tears that insisted on rolling down his cheeks, however.

 

the last night in his own bed passed by slowly and with little sleep. it was merely the break of dawn when hyungwon was ushered out of bed by the maids. they dressed him quickly, lead his sluggish limbs down stairs and over chilly marble. his parents and brother were already waiting at the entrance and hyungwon ignored everything around him and fell straight into his mother’s arms. her hands ran through his hair and he inhaled deeply one last time, trying to remember as much as possible and take as much as possible with him when his father called for his attention. a firm squeeze on the shoulder and a reassuring smile was all he got before hyunwoo pulled him into a quick hug and whispered promises of visits into his ear. it was all too rushed and surreal; hyungwon’s eyelids were still droopy with sleep when he was urged in the direction of the laded carriage and his spouse, still dressed in blood red, standing and waiting right in front of him. his shoulders were squared, body perfectly uptight and hands clasped behind his back.

 

hyungwon avoided his eyes and stepped into the carriage without another word. he grabbed the blanket that had been placed inside for him and curled himself into a corner, legs folded beneath him and head resting against the cool window. his spouse entered shortly after, sat on the other end of the carriage and as far away as possible from hyungwon. he couldn’t complain.

 

the ride would be a long one and hyungwon would prefer to spend it in silence.

 

*

 

he fell asleep and dreamed restlessly. the pathway was unsteady and the carriage rattled and moved constantly, making hyungwon’s forehead bump against the glass. there were scenes unfolding before his inner eye that were a mix between memories and fears, nightmares interwoven with pictures he held so dear. there were the vast and rich rooms of his home, of the palace, in shatters and ruins and burning. war washing over his country and bodies laying on the ground; and hyungwon, sitting locked in a cold dungeon far, far away. he startled awake for a moment and blinked the daze away before sitting up a bit more straight and tucking the blanket further around himself.

 

hours they had been in motion, almost a whole day, and the scenery outside had changed from endless fields of brilliant colours and vibrant greens to muddy paths through dark and foggy woods. the air inside the carriage had grown more chilly, as well, and when hyungwon finally glanced at the crown prince, he saw him wrapped up in thick fur and gazing out of the window opposite his own. furs weren’t a necessity in his kingdom; hyungwon’s people avoided killing animals. it was only rarely ever that meat was served and never do they kill young animals for it, but choose the old ones that only had little time left. the northern kingdom was different. blood red and black were the colours belonging to the royal family, whereas hyungwon had always been dressed in white and pale greens and rose and lavender. the prince would have to adjust to his new household starting now; he refused to give up his kingdom’s colours, but hyungwon knew he would have little choice regarding diet. the northern kingdom wasn’t rich on crops and fruits and vegetables, the climate was cold with a plethora of snow and rain. whether he liked to or not, hyungwon would need to start wearing furs to keep warm, especially during winter. how long would he need to adjust to the change? would there be any flowers at all? he dreaded to find out.

 

the crown prince turned to face him as hyungwon sat up higher, the corner of that sharp mouth twitching into a small grin.

         “i see you’re finally awake. you seemed to be having quite the vivid dream.” hyungwon simply nodded and pressed the heels of his palm against his eyes. he was still tired and there was a throbbing along his temples, his mouth dry. if he spoke up, maybe the carriage could be stopped and they could take a break, hyungwon could stretch his feet and drink some water — but all of that would require him to actually speak up and ask his spouse for a favour.

         “are you cold?” the other prince pressed, again. hyungwon only shook his head, eyes once again focused on the view outside the window, even though he could barely see anything. “are you hungry? thirsty? it’s already nightfall and we’re going to be driving at the very least until the day after tomorrow.” hyungwon wanted to shake his head again, brush off what he perceived as false friendliness, but stopped to wonder. it would only do him harm to refuse the other prince again. he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep with a throbbing headache and would instead have to spend his time in uncomfortable silence, feeling his stomach twist painfully and mouth turn more dry by the minute. he cleared his throat and turned to face the other prince.

         “would it be possible to have some food and water, please?” the crown prince paused like he was surprised that hyungwon spoke up at all before giving him a small smile and reaching beneath his seat to pull out a picnic basket. he reached inside and handed hyungwon a flask and an apple, both of which were accepted with a quietly mumbled ‘ _thank you_ ’. the first sip of water felt cool and soothing and made hyungwon think that remaining stubbornly silent would have definitely been a mistake. the crown prince was still looking at him, but hyungwon was too busy devouring the apple to pay attention. it was one from their garden, he recognised the taste. his mother must have picked the sweetest ones and packed them herself, just for hyungwon. it was silly to miss his home as much as he did, already.

 

         “you must be cold, too. you’ve probably never experienced cold weather before.” without being prompted to, this time, the crown prince leaned closer and removed the fur around his own shoulders to place them over hyungwon’s. the blanket was being pulled away for a moment and he was already wondering what the other prince was planning to do when he suddenly took a seat next to hyungwon and covered both of them with the fluffy material.

 

         “your majesty—“ hyungwon didn't get to ask the question before there was a side pressing against his, thighs flush together and shoulders brushing.

 

         “it’s more warm this way. the temperatures will drop even further overnight and i don’t want you being sick first thing we arrive. mother wouldn’t let me hear the end of it.” the pale light of the moon made his skin seem even more cold then before; his face and hands appearing like a meadow covered in snow, yet the warmth his body was giving off was penetrating through layers of fabric and hyungwon thought about how that juxtaposition was a good metaphor for the crown prince himself. he had appeared so cold; during the wedding ceremony and afterwards, yet his simple act of covering hyungwon in his royal garment had seemed oddly warm, oddly protective. hyungwon doubted he would have opened up if he hadn’t been so persistent with his questioning about his wellbeing, either.

 

         “i have a younger brother,” the crown prince continued after a moment of silence, “and you remind me a bit of him. you’re a bit older than him, by two years. he’s very silent as well, not the most talkative and quite a spoiled brat. maybe it’s simply how the second born princes are?” he posed it as a question, clearly teasing, and hyungwon fell for it so easily — he frowned and pursed his lips and crossed his arms, ignoring the way it made it brush against the other prince.

 

         “i’m not a spoiled brat.” which was arguable.

         “oh, really? i heard you threw quite the tantrum when people informed you that we’d get married.” hyungwon’s cheeks flushed pink with shame and while he would love to know which maid couldn’t keep her mouth shut, it was now too late to deny it, “i was quite reluctant to meet you after that. i wasn’t exactly ecstatic about a marriage either, but i wanted to get married to a prince and not a petulant child. i have to say, i was quite impressed at how calmly you talked to me during the feast, but when i went to find you and talk with you afterwards, you weren’t in your room.” there was a pregnant pause and hyungwon sat completely still, didn’t even dare breathe. this wasn’t something he ever wanted to discuss. talking about his temper tantrum and immature behaviour suddenly seemed like the more pleasant alternative.

         “i went to look for you, thinking that you were trying to run away. a freshly married prince that just climbs over the balcony and disappears into the night. i have to admit, i was quite surprised when i found you with the gardener instead, but a lot of things started making more sense.”

 

         “oh?” his own voice sounded bitter, but shaky and in that moment he was a bit like a wounded and cornered animal, “the childish prince you were forced to marry turned out to be a giant fool? everything fell wonderfully into place, didn’t it?” what hyungwon didn’t expect was warm fingers loosely curling around his wrist, rough fingertips that slip down and along his palm.

 

         “no,” the crown prince’s voice was a pleasant rasp amongst the soft rattle of the carriage and it settled over hyungwon’s pained heart like rich velvet, “the prince i thought to be simply spoiled and immature was suffering because he had given away his heart. i know what that feels like. i’ve been in love more than once, but duty always comes first and no matter how much being around a servant we like makes us feel like we’re just normal people, we aren’t. our lives are worth nothing if we can’t give it for our people.” all of this were things he had heard already. they had been drilled into him since he was a child, but thoughts and feelings didn’t always perfectly align like that. “i’m sorry you had to be separated from him. i can’t take the pain from you, but i don’t want to make it harder still. you’re young and you will get over it, but it takes time.”

 

there was a spark of annoyance in him. a shiver that crawled along his spine and grew long claws that clench around his ears and lungs and throat; it made him want to snap and push at the other prince for daring to talk to him in such a condescending way. as if he had eaten the wisdom of the world by the spoonfuls, as if he was that much older and hyungwon but a mere child. but then the prince’s calloused fingers give his hand a reassuring squeeze and his velvet voice whispers out ‘ _everything will be fine, i’ll take care of you_ ’ and hyungwon felt comfortably warm and stupidly safe and instead remained comfortably tucked against the crown prince’s side, his eyelids once again heavy.

 

he fell asleep shortly after, his head heavy and resting on the crown prince’s shoulder.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's flower is the calla lily and here's the meaning behind it: Calla Lily symbolises magnificence and beauty. White Calla lilies combine these two attributes with purity and innocence associated with the colour white to make it the perfect choice of flower in a Wedding bouquet.


	2. winterberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> their journey continues and hyungwon has a run in with an unexpected threat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so the actual plot is finally set in motion in this chapter and the 3rd chapter is done already and will probably be posted next weekend once it's edited. i hope you guys enjoy it uwu

the night was icy, but hyungwon slept through it, peacefully tucked beneath fur and blankets and the prince’s arm. his neck was painfully tense by the time he woke up, but he was warm and didn’t want to move. it took him a moment to notice that the carriage wasn’t in motion anymore and that there was no warm body next to him. the confusion was motivation enough to force his eyes open.

his blurry vision cleared up after a few seconds and when hyungwon glanced out of the window, he saw guards and the crown prince, stretching his arms far over his head. he was clad in furs and only then did hyungwon notice that they must have crossed the borders and arrived on the other side of the mountains. there was no snow yet, so they couldn’t be far into the northern kingdom, but the ground was bare and muddy, the outside foggy, and when hyungwon exhaled a breath through parted lips the air in front of him turned into white wisps.

his body was clumsy and stiff as he tried to navigate it out of the carriage and if it hadn’t been for one of the guards steadying him, hyungwon would have kissed the ground.

          “your highness!” the raspy voice from before was much brighter now. the crown prince sounded at ease, a soft smile on his lips, while hyungwon became more tense and uncomfortable with every shaky step he took. it must have shown on his face because the smile slipped from thin lips and the crown prince’s strong brows pulled into a frown.  
          “are you alright?” those warm hands were reaching for him again, brushing lightly over his cheek, only for hyungwon to angle his head away in subtle rejection.

          “i’m fine, thank you.” he croaked, his own voice husky and heavy with sleep. the truth couldn’t have been further from his reply. his head was throbbing, his stomach almost painfully empty and limbs quickly growing cold. it was his first time crossing the borders of his own kingdom and into the cold north. the air felt thinner and more dry. hyungwon already missed his home.  
          “are we taking a break? for how long?” from the corner of his eye he could see the prince’s guards throw sideways glances at him and started growing more uncomfortable by the second. all alone and surrounded by men he didn’t know and that weren’t loyal to him, hyungwon found himself teetering closer to panic with each passing moment.

the crown prince was watching him closely and seemed to quickly grasp the origins of hyungwon’s nervous shifting. the serious expression that had overtaken his face shifted back into the previous smile. hyungwon pretended to ignore how forced it looked.  
          “some of the guards are scouting the area to see how safe it is. if everything meets the required standards, we will be making a camp here until tonight. my men need to rest and so do i.” he didn’t attempt to touch hyungwon again, but pointed one bony and long finger at the fur that was sloppily hanging off his shoulders.  
          “you should wrap yourself up properly if you want to stay outside longer. and get something to eat and drink.”

the crown prince turned away, leaving hyungwon behind. he found himself at a loss and shifted on his feet, his eyes wandering across open fields and the dark, foggy forest on the other side of the carriage. everything looked bleak and cold, like neither the woods nor the soil had ever known the touch of spring. only endless winter covered the earth. longing for warmth and sunlight hit him and was joined by the pathetic growl of his stomach.

          “your highness,” hyungwon turned to see a young boy, possibly around his age. his cheeks were chubby and dimpled and his eyes twinkled and disappeared when he smiled. it was distracting and charming enough for hyungwon to almost miss his flaxen hair. “my name is jooheon, i’ll be your manservant until we reach the castle. would you like to return to the carriage until the camp is set up? i could bring you food and water.” the urge to refuse and shake his head was big but the boy’s gentle demeanour and the pain in his abdomen chipped away at the prince’s stubbornness.

          “i don’t want to continue sitting in the carriage, i already spend more than a day in that confined space.” the boy — jooheon — didn’t look surprised. he pursed his puffy lips and nodded his little head in understanding and hyungwon didn’t want to admit that he was enamoured.

          “i saw a dry stump just over there,” jooheon pointed somewhere towards the forest, “i’ll bring out a few more blankets so your highness doesn’t get cold and then bring the food.” to hyungwon’s surprise, a small and soft hand reached for his and tugged gently; despite the prince’s usual reservations towards being touched and the fact that it was a servant who dared to touch him, he allowed it. exhaustion weighed heavy on his lips and his legs still felt unsteady.

jooheon lead him across the wet soil, the ground beneath their feet uncomfortably soft and creating a squelching sound with each step. by now the cold had seeped far enough into his bones to turn the sleepy prince sombre and alert. there were footsteps following them and when hyungwon turned to glance over his shoulder he saw three guards on their heels.

a private moment would be too much to ask for, after all, they had to make sure the prince wouldn’t run off. though, hyungwon felt no small hint of insult at their assumption that he was enough of a simpleton to run off into woods he didn’t know, in a part of the land he had never been to before.

          “here!” jooheon presented the stump like it was a blessing from the gods themselves and released hyungwon’s hand to scurry off in the search for blankets. the prince only briefly contemplated calling him back and ordering one of the guards to search the box at the back of the carriage instead.

they were standing only three or four feet away from the carriage and hyungwon could easily spot the crown prince’s red hair, despite the grey sky and foggy atmosphere. he was pointing the guards in different directions, commanding orders, no doubt. for a moment he turned and their eyes met again, but hyungwon looked away and pretended he has been scanning the landscape.

jooheon returned with a pile of fabric high enough to cover his face, but he still somehow managed to not drop a single thing when he set half of the pile onto the stump. his fingers worked with practiced precision when they pulled apart the fluffy fabric and wrapped it around hyungwon’s shoulders, layer after layer. his own fingers were stiff and cold, but whenever jooheon’s brushed against the side or back of his neck, they felt warm.

          “you’ll be warm within a few moments, your highness.” the boy spoke eagerly, his smile carrying the naivety and carelessness of a child.

          “how old are you?” hyungwon asked, surprising his new manservant.  
          “i’m eighteen, your highness.” _the same as me_ , hyungwon thought, but didn’t voice his thoughts. gentle hands urged him to sit upon his makeshift throne made of wood and blankets before the blond boy was leaving him again in search for food. hyungwon took the moment alone to glance at the guards around him, their expressions impassive and serious, frowns and wrinkles marring their pale faces. did all the people in the north look like that, hyungwon wondered. he had never seen the king and queen of the northern lands, but he had a hard time imagining them as tender and caring people.

to hyungwon, love and affection went hand in hand with warmth; all of the people surrounding him seemed cold as ice.

his manservant returned soon enough, a giant, woven basket dangling from the crease of his elbow. hyungwon recognised it as one from their kitchen and the memory of _home_  was enough to make his eyes burn with unshed tears. the prince blinked repeatedly and lowered his head under the pretence of wiping sleep from his eyes. if anyone noticed anything, no one said a word.

          “here,” jooheon’s voice was as sweet as his smile and as warm as his hands. “have some water first, your highness.” hyungwon took the offered flask and emptied all of it in one go. it slid down his throat like dew drops in spring glide over parched leaves. his head welcomed the liquid, while his empty stomach protested against the sudden onslaught of water and made him feel slightly queasy. before his manservant could move to offer anything else, hyungwon reached into the basket and pulled out a pear. there were etiquettes he should follow and an image he had to keep up, but after being forced to enjoy his snack without as much as a table, they should forgive him gobbling up the fruit.

time seemed to pass slower when he couldn’t see the sun move and shift across the sky. hyungwon had emptied the basket of most of its fruits and vegetables when one of the guards finally announced that their camp was set up. there was no manservant holding his hand when hyungwon forced his stiff and frozen limbs to move across the uneven ground and towards the large tent, intended for the royal couple.

although it wasn’t by much, hyungwon felt the temperature grow warmer once the tent’s flap fell close behind him. there was a small fire burning in the middle of it and when hyungwon glanced upwards, he saw the smoke escaping through a hole in the pointy top. a makeshift desk had been set up and currently the crown prince was leaning over it, his hands propping up his weight on loose sheets of parchment. there was hay and more blankets turned into a makeshift bed, closer to the fire than the edge of the tent, and that was where hyungwon finally took a seat. he was still bundled inside his layers of blankets and fur but still felt the need to stretch his frozen fingers closer to the dancing flames to warm them.

they used fire in the kitchen only, in his kingdom. _back at home_. there was never a need to light fire to keep warm.

          “it gets colder the further away we get from the southern kingdom.” the crown prince’s voice was a hushed whisper, almost as soft as the gently crackling fire. “we’re higher up here on the mountains so the air is thinner and colder, but your body should start adjusting soon.” hyungwon briefly contemplated ignoring him, but remembered enough of his manners to at least turn and face his spouse, to show that he was listening.

the crown prince was watching him, his gaze scrutinising and calculating. his blood red jacket had been tossed across the table, leaving the prince only in his shirt, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. like everything else about him, his arms were pale as well, a dust of fine, dark hair visible atop of the fair skin.

          “aren’t you cold, your majesty?” hyungwon asked, his voice soft and meek now that his throat wasn’t parched anymore.

his question seemed to be amusing to the crown prince who not only cracked a smile, but released a brief snort through his nose. hyungwon resisted the urge to frown in disgust.

          “i grew up in colder temperatures than this. the only reason the fire in the centre is necessary is because jooheon told me my spouse might get sick by the time we arrive if he doesn’t thaw soon. and seeing you bundled up like that, i suppose he was right.” a pale flush spread across the younger prince’s cheeks. hyungwon felt like calling the servant over to scold him about not knowing when to keep his mouth shut because servants are meant to be seen, not heard, but it was very clear that jooheon meant no harm. he wanted to help, not expose another of his many flaws. and more importantly, he was still loyal to his future king, not said king’s foreign spouse.

hyungwon turned away and pulled the blankets further up his shoulders in an attempt to hide his face and huddled more into himself. the cold had easily seeped through the thin fabric of his trousers and rubbing his hands across his shins and thighs only seemed to make them itch.

          “here.” there had been no steps to betray the crown prince approach, but he was suddenly standing next to hyungwon, a flask in his outstretched hand.  
          “no, thank you, your majesty, i’m not thirsty.”  
          “it’s alcohol.”  
          hyungwon’s eyebrows shifted beneath his dark, wavy hair. he eyed the flask with suspicion before meeting the crown prince’s steady gaze.  
          “why are you offering me alcohol?” he had drunk it before, on his eighteenth birthday. the night only remained a blur in his head, but hyungwon could clearly recall the splitting headache the next day and hyunwoo laughing at him when they met again at lunch. the young prince hadn’t managed to get out of bed before noon.

          “it will make you feel warmer from within. your body is cold and no matter how close you sit to the fire, it won’t warm up properly.” what the crown prince was saying made some sense, but losing all memory and inhibition of what was happening, while he was around his spouse wasn’t what hyungwon wanted. they had still to consummate the marriage. hyungwon couldn’t sincerely say he trusted the crown prince not to attempt touching him when he was pliant and passive.

the older prince seemed to have felt his reservations, or maybe guessed his concerns, because he sighed and dropped the flask on the makeshift bed next to hyungwon before walking back towards his table again.  
          “i’m not going to do anything to you, but i can see why you wouldn’t just trust my word. you are completely alone here, after all.” his voice was husky and low, but the words still made hyungwon flinch as if someone had raised their voice at him.

 _you are completely alone here, after all_.

          “just drink enough to feel warm, but not enough to get drunk and you should still have control over yourself. you people have plenty of fruit trees in the south, you can’t be new to alcohol.” he was not new to it, but to lay down his lack of experience in almost every field to his husband was not what he wanted. in truth, it had been hyunwoo who had enjoyed the drink and the servants and the festivities and hyungwon who avoided the bustle. one time was more than enough to make him realise that there were too many disadvantages to drinking.

with swift fingers he grabbed and uncapped the flask before taking a swing out of it. the alcohol burned on its way down his throat and the young prince didn’t manage to conceal a full body shiver. it tasted disgusting and bitter. hyungwon tried to hide his face from the crown prince’s view in order to not give him the satisfaction of having another reason to laugh at his spouse.

a guard entered their tent and to hyungwon’s surprise, he turned to acknowledge him with a formal bow.

          “is something wrong?” the crown prince’s voice sounded more firm than before. where it had been soft and husky, now it sounded almost too boisterous within the confines of their tent.

          “no, your majesty. captain kim ordered me to report that the man are going to rest in shifts starting now and that captain park will be the one in charge, should you need someone.” minhyuk crossed his arms and gave the guard a brief nod. hyungwon noticed only then how exhausted he actually looked.

          “tell captain park i want everyone to be packed and ready by nightfall. we don’t want to waste any time lingering around the woods at night.” hyungwon caught a question just at the tip of his tongue; what was so dangerous about the woods?

the guard bowed when the crown prince dismissed him and left. silence settled around them once more.

a sigh, and his spouse approached again. his long fingers reached for one of the blankets behind hyungwon, but instead of unfolding it, he hovered at the foot of the bed. hyungwon glanced up and caught his eye. (the pale arms and wide shoulders were almost distracting from up close.)

          “i’m going to lay down and sleep. you can either stay awake or join me, but i ask you not to leave the tent.” hyungwon nodded slowly in reply. and even if he were to leave, where would he go?  
          “of course, your majesty.”  
the answer seemed to appease the crown prince as hyungwon watched his frown disappear. “good.” he lingered for a moment, before stepping around the fire and to the other end of the bed. there was an awkward tension in the air as the crown prince toed off his muddy boots and climbed onto the makeshift bed without as much as brushing hyungwon. for a moment, he laid on his side and the younger prince attempted to ignore him. another sigh and he turned onto his back.

          “would you be so kind to sing me a lullaby, your highness?” the crown prince asked, his voice once again hoarse and soft, merely a whisper.

that was what he had been prepared for all his life, wasn’t it? this was what his role in court would look like.

hyungwon took a deep breath, parted his lips and began to sing.

*

the sun set over the peak of a far away mountain and hyungwon already missed the warmth of the fireplace as he settled back against the cushions in the carriage.

his spouse had fallen asleep to the sound of his voice and to hyungwon’s surprise, didn’t wake up again until it was time to take down the tent. jooheon had rushed to his side and offered hyungwon something to eat, which the young prince willingly accepted. despite the bustle and hurry, his new manservant stayed with him, a constant smile on his lips.

he and the crown prince, however, had yet to exchange a word.

clouds had settled over the sky, turning everything much darker and more menacing than hyungwon was used to. the safety of the castle walls was gone and the crown prince’s words still echoed inside his head. the woods were to his right and hyungwon hadn’t looked away from the shadows creeping between vast trees since they left. it was creepy and more than once did he imagine glowing eyes following them. like a child, he pulled the fabrics around his shoulders closer to his body and let his forehead rest against the cold glass.

they were close to a two days ride away from the castle, as jooheon had informed him. what awaited them was winding mountain roads and snow. two more days stuck in a tiny space with a complete stranger. two more days without a bed, without an opportunity for a bath and without any chance to properly relax. no one had informed him about whether they would stop to camp again, or ride without any break. the crown prince had already mentioned that they would face a steady incline the closer they got to the northern kingdom’s castle and the higher the mountain, the colder it would get. hyungwon wasn’t sure if it would even be possible to build a camp amongst snowy and steep planes.

          “you’re frowning again.” the crown prince’s voice pulled him from his musings, prompting hyungwon to lift his head and turn to face him. with cold fingers he reached forward to briefly brush across his own forehead, to smooth out the fine creases between his brows. how his spouse could have seen an expression like that so clearly, despite hyungwon being turned away, covered by blankets and hidden by long bangs — he was either extremely perceptive, or he had been watching.

          “i was simply pondering.” the crown prince’s body turned to face him as if to show that he was paying attention and wanted to hear more.  
          “pondering?” he prompted after a moment of hyungwon remaining silent.  
          “you mentioned that we had to be on our way by nightfall and that it wasn’t safe to linger close to the woods. how come?” he turned his own body to mirror the crown prince’s and ignored the slight sense of uneasiness that settled in his stomach. he no longer could keep an eye on the passing scenery and the bright eyes.  
          “there are many wild and dangerous animals in those woods,” the crown prince started to explain. his voice was gentle, but sombre, as if he was trying to make something unpleasant seem not all too unappealing to a child. “most of them we hunt and are familiar with, but there are also shadows that lurk in dark forests that should not ever be crossed. least of all in the dark.” a shiver ran along his spine and hyungwon was anything but pacified. he moved his body further away from the window and quickly reached to pull the curtains over the glass.

          “but you don’t have to worry.” he turned his attention back to the smiling crown prince. “you’re safe with me and my people.” hyungwon nodded and held his tongue. he didn’t want to mention that he would feel much safer at home, with his family.

*  
  
that night hyungwon didn’t sleep a wink. the darkness grew heavier and the cold grew more biting. his thoughts were restless, filled with paranoia; he imagined hearing approaching howls that sounded too beastly to belong to mere wolves, but even then, he didn’t dare peek behind the curtains.

the break of dawn seemed to take forever and even though hyungwon briefly considered making conversation, just to pass time, the crown prince was fast asleep. his hair looked blood red in the first rays of the sun and his skin was still ghostly pale. it occurred to hyungwon that corpses didn’t look too different and he couldn’t help but wonder and worry about his own skin and if the colour would start to fade after years in the cold north. he hoped not.

it had been a while after the sun peeked over the horizon when his spouse finally opened his eyes. hyungwon’s stomach had started to hurt from hunger and the same complaint had been repeating in his head like a mantra, just waiting to be released once the crown prince woke up, when a knock on the window and the face of one of the older guards appeared. immediately, the carriage had come to a halt and upon shifting, hyungwon could feel sensation return to his legs in the form of tingles.

          “your majesty,” the guard spoke as soon as he had opened the door, addressing his crown prince first before turning to hyungwon and nodding his head respectfully, “your highness. i hope you found some rest last night.”  
          “it was pleasant enough.” hyungwon responded politely, but if the crown prince’s amused snort was anything to go by, his face was telling the opposite.  
          “any news, captain?” his spouse asked, voice surprisingly chipper, despite the husky and sleepy undertone.  
          “yes, your majesty. there is a river nearby, so we thought it might be advantageous to take a small break here, before continuing on.” before the captain even finished speaking, the crown prince had already started nodding his agreement and pushing out of his seat in order to jump out of the carriage. hyungwon tried to follow suit, but his whole body ached — for a bath, a bed, warmth — and by the time he had arrived at the door, jooheon was standing outside with an outstretched hand.

          “good morning, your highness. you look like death, are you not well?” hyungwon thought back on his own manservant that he left back at home and how the boy barely managed to hold his gaze, much less open his mouth around him. in comparison, jooheon was incredibly out of place and impolite, but the boy’s worried scowl made it impossible for hyungwon to be cross with him. besides, it seemed to be a cultural thing. he grabbed his small, warm hand and allowed the servant to help him out of the carriage.

          “i’m fine, jooheon. just tired and cold.” the manservant nodded, but his face remained worried and those warm hands reached for his upper arms in order to rub along the slim limbs.  
          “it’s no wonder you can’t get warmed up, your highness, you’re like a stick. my mother would say it’s because they don’t feed you enough meat over there in the south.” hyungwon didn’t reply, but his expression changed from impassive, to slightly miffed. he did not approve of his home’s cuisine being criticised. the idea of having to start eating meat once he arrived was dreaded enough as it was. jooheon didn’t seem to notice and leaned in close instead.

          “before we left for the southern kingdom, the younger prince joked about how much our majesty would have to suffer if his spouse turns out to be a stick, since he always liked the voluptuous maids and squishy boys, but neither of us thought the rumours about southerners were true.”  
          “you’ve seen my older brother,” hyungwon shot back, his voice too firm and temper slowly slipping, “he is anything but a stick. besides, his majesty isn’t exactly a muscly or big man either.” jooheon didn’t seem the slightest bit effected, he simply flashed another dimpled grin and didn’t let hyungwon miss the mischievousness in his twinkling eyes.  
          “it’s true that the crown prince is spindly, but at least he has some muscle and definitely weighs more than your highness. but don’t worry!” his hands finally stopped attempting to rub warmth back into hyungwon’s chilled body. “as soon as we’re at the castle, my mother will do her best to fatten you up. you’ll be healthy and round faced in no time, your highness!”

  
          “honey!” the crown prince’s voice interrupted them just before hyungwon could make the decision on how best to reprimand the rude servant. he still had enough time to wonder about the name the prince used to refer to jooheon. it was strangely affectionate. “stop teasing my spouse and make sure he’s taken care of. i’m taking captain kim and a few guards with me to hunt.”  
          “will do, your majesty!” jooheon saluted the grinning prince before starting to pull hyungwon in the opposite direction. “come on, your highness. it’s time to eat your fruits.”

hyungwon’s stomach decided to give an especially pitiful growl right then and he didn’t have it in him to object.

as it turned out, the ration of fruits and vegetables was slowly consumed, hence why the crown prince decided to go hunting. jooheon was babbling on about the difference in tenderness between boar meat and deer meat while hyungwon tried to focus on the taste of orange in his mouth in order not to start feeling nauseous.

it wasn’t snowing, but a fine layer of thin ice made the soil crunch beneath his fidgeting feet. to hyungwon, it felt as if there was little difference in temperature between the inside of the carriage and the outside, but he liked to think he had gotten used to his body constantly feeling stiff and frozen. his nose and ears and cheeks were red, his skin itching and dry from the cold air. he hadn’t seen a mirror since the day of his wedding, but reckoned his hair was in a disarray. a bath would have solved so many of his problems, but it would still be more than a day before they reached the castle. hopefully the servants would let him freshen up before he was dragged to the king and queen.

he sighed and dropped his hands back onto his lap, fingers clumsily and stiffly reaching for the orange peels. it was only the third day since his wedding and hyungwon hated it. going back home wasn’t an option and who knew if anyone would really bother to visit him with how harsh the transit was. hyunwoo had promised to visit, but hyungwon couldn’t imagine their parents allowing their crown prince to travel that far just to visit his brother. a journey like this could potentially endanger his life and with one of their sons already gone, their kingdom couldn’t risk losing the heir to the throne. not at such a crucial time.

          “are you alright, your highness?” for the first time jooheon wasn’t smiling, he didn’t sound cheerful. hyungwon wanted to open his mouth and reassure the boy that he was fine, but as soon as he blinked a single tear rolled down his cheek. lying, even if only to preserve the dignity he had left, seemed pointless. he lifted the back of his hand to wipe across his eyes, glad that none of the guards were looking. jooheon had leaned in and placed a soothing hand on his shoulder and for the first time it felt too hard to keep his composure and not get choked up on his emotions.  
          “i miss home.” he replied in a pitiful, meek whisper, allowing the manservant to see the shameful, weak child that he knew he was. while he feared mockery, he didn’t expect someone as warm and kind as jooheon to laugh while rubbing salt into a wound — and he didn’t. his small hands tugged on the material hyungwon had cocooned himself in and pulled it over his head in a makeshift hood, before pulling him up and into a standing position.  
          “i know it can’t compare to your home, but let’s take a walk through the forest. if we don’t go too far we won’t get in trouble and maybe we’ll see some animals. there’s a lake close by, as well and the water looks really beautiful when it’s frozen.” from below the hood, hyungwon met his eyes and the twinkle in them, when jooheon smiled, reminded him a bit of hoseok. if his whole face hadn’t been an irritated, bright pink, his blush would have shown more.

when jooheon addressed the guards it was in their own language. hyungwon had been taught some basics, but not enough to understand the whole conversation. he caught bits and pieces of their conversation; hyungwon understood jooheon trying to persuade the guards to stay behind, but with the guards’ tone of voice, he couldn’t hide his surprise when the manservant took a hold of his arm and started tugging him along.

          “i hope you don’t mind, your highness, i had to tell them that you wanted to take a shit and didn’t want to have four guards standing around.” hyungwon would have felt more disgust at the crude language if it weren’t for jooheon’s endearing accent and sweet smile. still, the prince couldn’t help but complain.  
          “and you couldn’t have told them a lie that wouldn’t have involved such crude language?”  
          “crude?” jooheon’s eyebrows shot up at the word, but he didn’t pause his steps. the fingers around his arm where still holding him steady as hyungwon’s clumsy feet tried to get used to the uneven ground of the woods. “your highness, everyone has to take a shit every now and then, there’s nothing crude about that.” hyungwon dropped the topic. his mother had mentioned that northerners regarded very few affairs as truly private and thinking about his spouse and their wedding night, the thought worried him slightly.

the air in the woods was different than on the open field, almost humid. whipping wind howled through the trees, but hyungwon didn’t feel it brush against the skin of his face. jooheon released his arm and walked ahead, his bordeaux jacket almost blending together with the colour of the trees.  
          “the woods at home are different,” hyungwon finally spoke up and it was the loudest and most clear his voice had sounded since he left. jooheon turned to glance at him over his shoulder, a grin on his face. he hadn’t said anything, but hyungwon felt like it was a silent urging to elaborate. “the day is longer and they’re much brighter since the sun usually shines through the leaves.” nothing about the forest he found himself in was bright. the ground was dark and the woods seemed almost eerie with no light provided from the grey sky and fog settling over the soil, further in the distance.

roots and branches made it harder to walk, but hyungwon felt some warmth return to his stiff limbed body as he tried to balance and avoid kissing the ground. it was quiet, aside from the soft crinkle of leaves and sough of the wind; pleasant, almost.  
          “say, jooheon…” hyungwon trailed off, sounding slightly out of breath.  
          “am i walking too fast, your highness? you seem a bit out of shape.” the boy teased lightheartedly and hyungwon pulled his hood back to shoot a glare in his direction. he didn’t want to think about how the servant was right, nor did he want to think about how it was anything but his fault that he was only kept inside the castle or inside the gardens, like a flower beneath a glass bell.  
          “i’m fine,” the prince insisted and quickened his steps to catch up with jooheon, “i was going to ask how long you’ve known the prince. you two seem very close.” he had changed his own manservants every few years and never minded it much. their relationship had been anything but close and none of them had ever been very conversational with hyungwon.  
          “we grew up together. my mother works in the palace kitchen so i was always around as a small child and since there weren’t a lot of children, minhyuk liked to play with me. his brother is two years younger than me, so it took a while before he could join in whenever we played.”

 _minhyuk_.

the first and only other time, hyungwon had heard anyone address the crown prince by name was when his father had announced that he was to get married to _crown prince lee minhyuk of the northern kingdom_. since then, the other prince had only been labelled as such inside his head, since giving him a name would be intimate, it would make him seem more humane and hyungwon had wanted to avoid that. he had planned to treat their arrangement as such, or a business transaction. _your majesty_  or _my spouse_  was supposed to do, but after jooheon used his name so casually, so easily, hyungwon found himself wondering what it would taste like on his own tongue.

          “is it usual in your kingdom for servants to play with royalty?” hyungwon asked in order to distract himself rolling the name around on his tongue. jooheon didn’t even need to consider the question, he nodded immediately.  
          “yes, it’s quite normal. royal or not, all kids were treated the same way.” it made him bitter to hear that and compare it to his own childhood. “is it different in your kingdom, your highness?” it was hyungwon’s turn to nod.

          “my older brother, the crown prince — he was allowed to play with the soldier’s children, but those man weren’t exactly commonwealth and they certainly weren’t regarded on the same level as servants. my own manservants rarely ever spoke to me—“ he was walking next to jooheon now and being further away from the etiquette and the curious eyes and the scarred but sombre faces, it was easier to relax and be himself. “that’s why i was quite taken aback by your behaviour towards me. you’re very touchy and very tongue-in-cheek and such behaviour is usually punished, in my kingdom.” perhaps it was because hyungwon didn’t seem authoritative, or because, in that moment, he was speaking to the servant more like a friend, but jooheon grinned in that charming way that showed his dimples and curled an arm around his shoulders, his shorter body pressing against hyungwon’s side.

          “yet you haven’t punished me, your highness.”

          “only because those two dips in your cheeks are so charming.” hyungwon mumbled, reaching out to poke a cold finger against the soft, warm skin of jooheon’s cheek. the servant faked a faux shocked expression and placed a hand against his chest.  
          “if only our majesty knew that his pretty, freshly wed spouse called me charming.” warmth had slowly started to spread through his body and into his limbs and in that moment it filled his face, also. hyungwon couldn’t help but laugh. jooheon seemed more than elated at the reaction he coaxed out of the prince and hyungwon couldn’t deny that the servant was doing a good job of making him feel more comfortable.

          “just wait until said majesty finds out you called his freshly wed spouse pretty,” hyungwon quipped back and to his disappointment, jooheon pulled back after flashing one more grin. the sound of rushing water didn’t register right away, but as jooheon ran on ahead, hyungwon started understanding where he had been leading them the whole time. a few more minutes of walking in silence and they finally reached the lake. a river was leading up to it and hyungwon caught sight of a fawn, drinking on the other side, just before it dashed away. the water was mostly frozen and seemed to shimmer a subtle silver.  
          “your highness?” jooheon’s voice called for his attention and when hyungwon glanced over, the servant was pointing at a shroud of bright red berries. “are those edible?”

          “they look like winterberries.” the prince replied after a brief pause. “those are edible.”  
          “do you like eating them, your highness?” hyungwon paused in order to regard the servant before giving a hesitant nod.  
          “they taste similar to hollies.” whatever he had said, seemed to please jooheon who started heading back towards the direction he came from again. hyungwon had been about to follow him, when the servant turned back and lifted his hands to signal the prince to stay.  
          “i’ll get a basket to gather the berries! you like your fruit and who knows when you’ll be able to have any next. you can just stay here, your highness, i’ll be right back!” and hyungwon listened.

whether he was walking through the forest with a charming servant or standing next to a lake, all alone, suddenly made a huge difference. the soft sigh of the wind seemed threatening, each crack of wood and dry leaves made him tense anxiously. the light fabric of his pants had become muddy and hyungwon didn’t care about what state the blankets around him would be in when he crouched down. making himself smaller made him feel harder to spot and in that moment that was what made him feel more safe.

he knew that him and jooheon hasn’t been walking for a long time, but it seemed to take ages for the servant to fetch the basket and return. the cold started to creep back into his limbs and the nervousness at being left alone started turning into fear. what if jooheon couldn’t find the way back? what if he would be lost in the forest until nightfall? what if he would get killed and eaten and never found again?

it was still early in the day and hyunwoo would probably find his panicked thoughts quite amusing, but his older brother carried a sword and hyungwon carried heavy blankets and political knowledge.

a rustling of leaves to his left made him even more alert and in his panic, the prince reached for the first two things he could get his stiff fingers on. a long, but thin branch, and a fist sized, sharp stone. there was movement and the sound of branches cracking and hyungwon didn’t dare breathe when dark, grey fur came into view. the beast that appeared looked similar to a wolf, but it was bigger than any wolf hyungwon had ever heard of. the colour of its eyes was unnaturally yellow and when hyungwon allowed his eyes to swipe around the area behind the animal, he found no pack.

from one second to the other, hyungwon was on his feet and gripping the stone and branch like a lifeline. the wolf-like creature didn’t howl to signal its whereabouts, but the lowest and deepest of growls seemed to vibrate through its chest. the fight or flight instinct was starting to kick in and all in him was screaming to run. rationality kept the upper hand, though; hyungwon knew he stood no chance if he ran, with his back turned to the slowly approaching animal.

a branch was anything but a good weapon, yet hyungwon still hurled it at the wolf-like creature, only to watch sharp teeth easily crunch it between a strong jaw. his whole body was shaking, throat closing up in the panic and screaming became impossible.

the beast launched forward and hyungwon took one step backwards before his back met the harsh, freezing ground. something was pressing into his spine and the animal’s weight was on him and pinning him within seconds. there was hot breath on his face, the scent of decay and death and copper. he inhaled a sharp and wheezing breath and lifted one arm to press against the animal’s throat. the growl it released made his blood run cold and right when the huge jaw parted to expose the two rows of sharp teeth, hyungwon gripped the stone as tightly as he could and hit the side of the beast’s head. once, twice before the muffled sound of his name registered in his head, followed by a quick and high pitched whizzing that jarred the animal’s body to the side.

drops of warm blood hit his face, a blur of the same, blood red colour, approached from the corner of his eye, before a glint of silver and a second later the wolf’s heavy body was resting atop his own. the blood oozed, soaking into his clothes and hyungwon’s lips were parted and still on the brink of a constricted scream. there were hands pushing the body away and there were hands gripping his arms and pulling him into a standing position. hyungwon was still in shock, still not quite capable to register the words spoken to him as he stared down at the beast that had planned to bite a chunk out of his neck.

          “hyungwon!” the warm hands on his face guided his attention towards the blood red hair, the pale, pale skin and the crown prince’s anxious expression. “are you alright? are you hurt?” hyungwon couldn’t reply, his lips were still shivering and body unresponsive even to himself. he could feel the blood soaking through fabric and sticking to his skin; it was warm and the scent of copper pinched at his nose.

          “your highness!” jooheon’s voice made him glance over towards the blond boy, only to see him cower when the crown prince hissed something in their language. the warm hands on his face shifted along his body, down his arms and over his chest before returning to settle heavy over the back of his neck.  
          “i’m- i’m okay,” hyungwon finally managed to stutter out. “i’m fine.” something was digging into his palm and upon glancing down at his hand, hyungwon discovered that he was still holding the bloody stone in his hand. he dropped it immediately, as it burnt, but his hands felt tainted already.  
          “where is your dagger? why didn’t you stab it in the throat?” some of the shock in him finally eased away when hyungwon realised that none of them understood what had shaken him so. it wasn’t the beast that had attacked him, as much as it was him witnessing the animal’s death, being soaked in its blood. his stomach churched and hyungwon suddenly started feeling quite nauseous.

          “i don’t _have_  a dagger,” his voice came out sounding much firmer than intended and hyungwon wasted no time to brush those intrusive hands away, “i’m not supposed to wield a weapon. i’m not supposed to kill! there’s blood every—“ hyungwon never got the chance to finish his sentence before he was forced to double over and empty the few contents inside his stomach.

the crown prince didn’t touch him again, he stood and watched as jooheon fussed over him. he was forced to drink water, before careful hands used a clean part of one of the blankets to wipe at his face. all the while jooheon was whispering reassuring words, promising him that there would be clean clothes and something to eat once they arrived back at the carriage.

hyungwon tried to focus on his soothing presence, but he didn’t miss the puzzled and worried expression of the crown prince, as he looked at the animal whose life he had taken.

once back at the camp, the scent of roasting meat entered his nostrils and another wave of nausea hit him. jooheon wasted no time to usher him towards the closed space of the carriage and hyungwon, numb and stiff, allowed himself to be led. once the servant had brought a change of clothes, the crown prince’s thicker and dark ones, and the door fell closed behind them, a flood of apologies hit his ears.

          “i’m so sorry, your highness. if i had known- if i had known something like this would have happened, i would have never left you alone. the prince returned and suddenly everyone was in an uproar because you were gone and i took longer than anticipated to get back, i’m really sorry—“ hyungwon clasped a tired and bony hand over jooheon’s mouth, effectively silencing him. big, dark pupils were staring back at him with guilt and remorse. hyungwon wanted to make it better, but no comforting words came to mind.

          “just get me out of these clothes, jooheon.” he removed his hand, knowing full well that the manservant must have felt like whatever bond was created between them was severed. the prince didn’t have it in him to tell him something different.

          “yes, your highness.”

*

hyungwon didn’t leave the carriage again. he stayed tucked into the corner, beneath fresh blankets and clothes that weren’t his, made of wool and thick cotton, instead of fine silk. a book was resting on his lap, but hyungwon had been reading the same passage over and over again, without any of the words registering.

the killing of animals was frowned upon in his culture, in his country. his mother had taught him to be gentle and caring of the flora and fauna around him, but the beast he had seen in the forest hadn’t been like anything out of his books and encyclopaedia. hyungwon hadn’t even been directly involved in its death, but he had been _there_  and it had died because of him. a necessary evil, yes, but hyungwon felt like his skin was irrevocably tainted. the scent of death and decay that was clinging to the beast, was now clinging to him.

outside the window, the men were packing up everything and saddling their horses. hyungwon couldn’t spot jooheon, but he hoped the manservant would be alright. not that it was any of his business whether a servant got into trouble for endangering his life or not.

the door of the carriage opening startled him, though the tension in him had no opportunity to leave when the crown prince sat down opposite him. his face was serious again, eyes scrutinising as he leaned forward.

          “i want to apologise to you.” hyungwon closed his book, out of politeness and to show that he was listening, but kept a finger pinched between the pages. “i should not have spoken to you that way, when we were in the forest. i was scared you had gotten hurt and my fear translated into anger that you didn’t protect yourself. i thought—”

          “your majesty,” hyungwon interrupted him curtly, “it took me a very long time to accept that my mother and tutors raised me to be nothing but pleasant to look at and soft spoken, so i can understand how you must be having a hard time with it. at first i also believed that i should know how to wield a weapon and protect myself, but as it is, i was never taught because i wasn’t allowed anywhere near weapons.” silence settled between them and hyungwon expected the conversation to be over, dropped his gaze back to his book and opened it up again.

          “bow and arrow, or sword?” hyungwon looked up at the unexpected interruption.

          “excuse me?”  
  
          “i will teach you how to wield a weapon. pick one.” the younger prince closed the book again and tried to suppress the spark of annoyance gathering in his chest.

          “i’m not _allowed_  to kill.”

          “well, you are mine now, so you abide to my rules and i expect you to be able to defend yourself, at the very least.” hyungwon’s hands immediately began to quiver. _you are mine now_. he had to grit his teeth to avoid saying something both of them might regret, but a part of him felt sick satisfaction at being proven right about his spouse. the crown prince would be one of _those_  types of men after all. hyungwon would never be more to him than another conquered territory.

          “fine. bow and arrow, then.” was hyungwon’s reply. he didn’t wait for anything else to be said, simply sunk down further into his seat and opened his book right in front of his face.

the carriage started moving and their conversation was over.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is called 'winterberries', also known as north american holly. here's an interesting fact about hollies: One of the most interesting facts about holly is that sometimes the wood is used to make chess pieces, which is great because the holly is actually a symbol of defense and when you send it to someone or give it to someone it symbolizes that.


	3. cassia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon finally arrives at his new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another week, another chapter  
> this one is a bit shorter than the previous one but it finally concludes their travels WHICH MEANS soon the actual plot can begin  
> also: how cute is jooheon?? can we pls talk about that

when a sudden jolt of the carriage woke him up again, the landscape outside had turned dark. hyungwon’s eyes took a moment to adjust to the dim light of the pale moon that was hanging so low in the sky, it seemed almost possible to reach out and touch it. they had left the road through the forest and were now passing over a rocky mountain trail. hyungwon could see the steep cliff not far from their carriage, but a glance at the crown prince showed that the other was left unimpressed and unbothered.

 

tension had returned between them, so thick that hyungwon could almost grasp it. their last conversation had left him reeling and like so often, he forced himself to remain silent. he had been taught how to be pleasant; seen, but not heard. his conscience, which had conveniently taken on his mother’s voice, didn’t fail to remind him of his lessons. _just swallow your anger. the king rules the kingdom, not you._  days spend cooped inside dusty and stifling rooms, bent over tiny prints in giant books had forced him to become more pliant, more soft spoken, more restrained. morals were drilled into him, ideals that weren’t originally his but expected of someone in his position. hyungwon had been suppressing his emotions and thoughts for years and the crown prince managed to bring all defiance in him back onto the surface with no more than a single sentence.

 

he wasn’t looking at hyungwon, not even when the prince shifted and cleared his throat. sharp eyes remained fixed on an uncertain point just outside the window and it occurred to hyungwon then that he was being ignored. the anger had been bubbling inside of him so very subtly up until then, but not being acknowledged made every flicker of annoyance burn brighter.

 

          “your majesty.” the acrimony had been impossible to swallow. it remained stuck in the back of his throat and burned, and the only way to get rid of it seemed to be by releasing it. originally hyungwon wanted to try and forget it, but the words had already left his mouth and the crown prince’s eyes finally shifted in his direction. “i want to say, that i did not appreciate the way you spoke to me before.”

 

the other prince’s expression remained stoic and unforgiving. hyungwon felt nervousness creep up his chest and settle next to the anger. the crown prince didn’t look irate, but he certainly did not look pleased either. the same cold gaze he was levelled with upon their first meeting was resting on him now, making hyungwon shift nervously.

          “i— i do not appreciate being spoken to like cattle. i’m a human, not a pet, and you can’t own other humans,” he attempted to clarify, only to watch with rising anxiousness as the crown prince inhaled deeply and finally turned his head to face hyungwon.

 

“the first time we spoke, you called yourself just a flower. passive decoration. you said i could do whatever i want to you and, if you remember correctly, i replied saying that i would not test your poisonous thorns,” the crown prince paused and hyungwon nodded his head after a second, thinking that was what he had been waiting for. “i take that back now. there are no thorns to you whatsoever and no poison either.”

 

it was the truth, but the way the crown prince spoke, made his words feel like insults.

 

          “everyone learns how to defend themselves in my country, men and women. my mother might not be stronger than my father, but she is capable of shooting a man straight between the eyes and i expect the same out of you. i can’t be next to you every moment of your life and there are many possibly dangers you could face, from outside and inside influences alike. you’re not a young child, your highness. you _will_  learn how to fight to ensure your own safety.” hyungwon’s fingers simply curled tighter around the material resting atop his lap. it was clear from the crown prince’s tone that he wouldn’t allow any further discussion on the topic and, not unlike with his parents, hyungwon felt frustration.

 

his whole life had been being nudged from one cage to the other, from one stage to the other. like a doll on a string. there had been a time — years — where he had craved to be allowed to wield a sword like his brother. hyungwon was a few years younger, but he remembered his pudgy and slow brother grow into a sturdy and skilled warrior. he had been envious then and they often fought. hyunwoo tried to keep their relationship afloat, but hyungwon hadn’t made it easy on him. for so long, being allowed to have the same rights as his brother was what he wanted — but things changed since then. hyungwon had prayed and studied and the wielding of weapons had started to seem more barbaric than anything else. instead of destroying, hyungwon wished to use his hands for creation and healing.

 

the crown prince sighed again and his whole body seemed to relax as he scooted over to hyungwon’s side of the carriage. the stoic expression was exchanged by something more hesitant and worried.

          “you understand why i’m saying these things, right? jooheon only left you alone for a short while and you almost died. it’s been only two days since we crossed the borders and someone is already targeting you.”

 

          “targeting me?” hyungwon echoed. the crown prince nodded slowly.

 

          “our world isn’t as safe as you were raised to believe, your highness.” the condescending message wasn’t lost on hyungwon’s ears, but in order to find out more, he chose to ignore it.

 

          “the beast that attacked me… what was it?” the crown prince paused to regard him for a moment. hyungwon thought he would have to ask again or pressure the crown prince to reveal more when he leaned back in his seat and ran long fingers through his hair.

 

          “not a wolf, that much we know. there are people out there that are capable of strong magic. they can summon beasts and some of them can even summon the dead.” what the crown prince was telling him almost seemed like a tale of old. alchemists and healers weren’t unknown in the southern kingdom, but while alchemists used science, healers were blessed by the gods. there were old tales from hundreds of years ago, of people that were capable of ‘ _magic_ ’. hyungwon had read them as a small child. they were stories meant to scare and as he grew older he started seeing simple moral lessons in them, nothing more. only those cursed by the gods, marked — those that killed and did wrong and tainted their souls — could turn to such ways and use that so called ‘ _magic_ ’.

 

          “i thought people like that didn’t exist. not anymore, not since the dark ages.” minhyuk turned pensive as he shook his head and turned to look out of the window. the pale light of the moon made his skin glow in stark contrast to his hair. hyungwon wondered if he would ever get used to it. get used to him.

 

          “there are many things out there that we can’t explain. not yet, at least.” the crown prince turned to look at him again. a small and soft smile was playing at his thin lips and after another second he reached out to place a warm hand over both of hyungwon’s. “i promise to take care of you to the best of my ability, but i would feel much more relief knowing that you had a dagger on you, at the least, and knew how to use it. please consider it, your highness.” hyungwon could only nod slowly. he dropped his gaze to the hand laying on top of his and after another second the crown prince removed it. hyungwon hadn’t been too uncomfortable, but he still felt tense and uncertain whenever his spouse touched him; hyungwon was glad that he seemed to have realised.

 

          “and… there’s one more thing,” hyungwon looked up once more when the crown prince spoke up, his own expression polite and indifferent. “i want to apologise for how i spoke to you before. it was harsh and inappropriate.” it was hard to hide the surprise on his face, but the crown prince seemed amused by his wide eyed look, rather than insulted. hyungwon simply cleared his throat and looked away.

 

          “your apology is accepted.”

 

*

 

hours later, a snow storm covered the trail in a fuzzy flurry of white and hyungwon was freezing. his teeth were clattering against each other loudly and even with jooheon’s warm body pressed against his, he couldn’t warm up. jooheon’s clothes hadn’t been thick enough, nor was the boy a soldier, trained to stand even the harshest conditions, so he joined them in the royal carriage. hyungwon didn’t mind; talking with jooheon was entertaining and the servant’s bright smile was infectious. only that it had become harder and harder for hyungwon’s frozen body to stay awake and before he realised it, he had the manservant and his spouse fussing over him.

          “do you want more alcohol, your highness?” the boy asked. hyungwon managed a jerky nod of his head. his eyes and head were heavy and his vision had grown blurry. there were hands pressing against his forehead, fingers tilting his chin up and pressing something to his lips.

 

          “i think it’s hypothermia.” jooheon was trying to whisper, but hyungwon heard it. he wanted to tell them as much but the flask was still pressed to his lips. “what should we do? we can’t stop now, there’s no hideout from the snow.” the alcohol burned on it’s way down, it tasted disgusting, but it undoubtedly made heat settle in the pit of his stomach. a few moments later the flask finally left his lips and silence filled the small space of the carriage.

 

          “we’ll warm him up.” he heard the crown prince say before hands started tugging at his blankets. “the layers of fabric make it harder to share body warmth, so get beneath the blankets.”

 

hyungwon managed to open his eyes far enough to catch a glimpse of the crown prince’s body moving closer and settling down next to him.

          “no, go away,” hyungwon mumbled and although he barely had any strength left in his body, he tried to press his arm against the crown prince’s chest and push. “you fox. i don’t like you, you ruined my garden.” next to him, he could hear jooheon’s soft cackle as he finally snuck his own body beneath the many blankets and fur.

 

          “please bear with it for a while, your highness. it’s for your own safety.” despite all his pushing, the treacherous fox had made it beneath his blankets and even went as far as to wind his arms around hyungwon’s waist and hold him tight.

 

warm breath hit the side of his face, but jooheon’s soft laughter sounded like a lullaby to him in that moment.

 

          “‘you fox’?”

 

          “shut up, jooheon.”

 

*

 

by the time he came to again, the sun was shining through the carriage’s windows. his pillow’s even in- and exhales alerted him of the fact that said pillow was a chest and the blurry events of the night came back in bits and pieces. hyungwon recalled the freezing cold and the alcohol and while that explained the throbbing in his temples, he wasn’t sure how to explain his sore and scratchy throat. with tiresome force, the young prince forced his eyes open and was met with the sight of his sleeping spouse. hyungwon’s feet were laying on his lap and the crown prince’s head was resting against the side of the carriage in an uncomfortable angle.

 

although the memory was vague, hyungwon recalled having fallen asleep pressed between the crown prince and jooheon, yet he woke up with his manservant pressed against the corner of the carriage and serving as his pillow. how that happened was unclear.

 

somehow, he had ended up in a cocoon of fabric and fur and as pleasantly warm as it felt, hyungwon felt like he couldn’t breathe properly. he wiggled about in an attempt to free his arms, at the very least, and while pulling his right arm out of the fluffy prison was successful, he ended up accidentally whacking jooheon in his incredibly endearing face. the servant let out a yelp, abruptly woken up, and said yelp had alerted the crown prince, who wasn’t only suddenly awake but reaching for something within his jacket while looking around blearily.

 

          “what happened?” the crown prince asked, clearly confused.

 

          “something hit me in the face.” jooheon complained with a whine. hyungwon felt a bit guilty.

 

          “it was me.” he announced softly, his voice scratchy and throat burning with each syllable.

 

          “why did you hit me, your highness?” his manservant whined, had the cheek to sound wounded and betrayed and hyungwon was forced to tilt his head back further only to shoot him a exasperated look.

 

          “it was an accident, jooheon.”

 

          “oh.”

 

the crown prince sighed and hyungwon could feel him relax before starting to pull at his cocoon of restriction, freeing hyungwon from his restraints and allowing him to sit up. two pairs of eyes were on him as he moved his stiff body into a sitting position. he still felt slightly dizzy and freezing cold, but a glance outside the window quickly explained why. the landscape that stretched out before him was nothing but glistering, white snow. the sun hitting the untouched snowy planes made them look like they were covered in tiny diamonds.

 

          “it’s beautiful.” hyungwon croaked and leaned closer to jooheon to spy further outside the window. he ignored the dimpled grin on the servant’s face and tried to stretch his neck to see as far as possible. they were still somewhere on the mountains and all hyungwon could see were mountain peaks and forests, green pines covered in white stretching far and wide. the small, warm hand on his back had become familiar enough for hyungwon to immediately recognise it as jooheon’s. he didn’t try to shrug it off.

 

          “by nightfall we should be home.” jooheon spoke softly, close to his ear. _home_. the word left a bitter taste in his mouth and hyungwon made sure his face looked neutral before leaned back from the window again to gather the blankets around him and pull them across his shoulders.

 

          “how are you feeling?” the crown prince’s voice interrupted whatever peaceful moment had settled between them. when hyungwon turned to him he looked worried, his brows pulled together into a minuscule frown. “we had to keep you between us until you stopped shaking, but you were out most of the time, i don’t know if you remember when we moved again.” hyungwon shook his head and from the corner of his eye he saw jooheon reach for a flask of water and hand it to him. he took it with a tiny smile to show his gratitude, before taking a few careful sips. swallowing hurt.

 

          “i’m better, but my throat—” as if to confirm the complain that he was about to voice, a coughing fit interrupted him and jooheon was immediately next to him and rubbing soothing circles onto his back. the worry was so evident on his face it was painful. it made hyungwon feel silly for having complaints in the first place.

 

          “once we’re home and you’ve rested and been taken care of you’ll be good as new again, don’t worry.” said jooheon, his puffy lips once again stretched into a cheerful smile. hyungwon found it truly hard not to be infected by his positive and bright nature and unable to help himself, he returned the smile. jooheon’s free hand reached out to settle atop of his, his warm fingers curling around hyungwon’s thinner and cold ones before giving them a reassuring squeeze.

          “my mother is going to feed you so much, you’ll have no choice but to be healthy. she’s not going to leave you alone until you have cheeks like mine, believe me.” hyungwon let out a short and pained laugh.

 

he didn’t notice the pensive look the crown prince was giving him and jooheon.

 

*

 

they took another, short break around midday. for once hyungwon could see the sun again and despite the cold, he insisted staying outside and soaking up the sun’s warmth. he didn’t want to admit that a slight fascination with snow was another motivating factor.

 

snow, hyungwon learnt, felt painfully cold and didn’t melt upon first touch. it was almost the colour of jooheon’s and the crown prince’s skin, but a stark contrast to hyungwon’s tan fingers. he formed it into tiny balls and competed with jooheon about who could throw them further. (hyungwon won, but he had a feeling that jooheon had let him win).

 

the most unexpected development was that hyungwon found himself smiling. the cold was biting at his cheek and turning them, along with his his nose and ears, a bright pink, but chasing jooheon and trying to push snow down the back of his clothes was the most enjoyable activity he had been allowed to partake in for years.

 

before continuing on their journey, hyungwon finished the remainder of fruit they had stored and taken with them, while the rest of the men all ate meat. jooheon had offered him some, but hyungwon immediately refused. the crown prince seemed to keep a distance and didn’t speak to him and by the time they were supposed to return to their carriage, hyungwon simply grabbed jooheon’s wrist and pulled the manservant along. it wasn’t how or where a servant was supposed to travel, but the crown prince didn’t say anything in opposition and hyungwon took that as permission to do as he wished.

 

jooheon sat beside him in the carriage and chatted away while hyungwon was sipping on heated water, mixed with herbs that the servant had poured into a flask before they left. it was scalding hot, but it soothed some of the ache in his throat. the crown prince was reading while jooheon shared stories of their kingdom, of their culture and the palace he grew up in. a lot of the things he mentioned hyungwon had already learned about, but didn’t say anything not to stop the melody of jooheon’s bubbly voice.

 

day turned into late afternoon and the passing scenery changed from deserted mountain roads to bustling villages. hyungwon watched the curious eyes that followed their carriage. the houses in the north were different than in his kingdom. their roofs were high and made out of red brick with holes on top. it reminded hyungwon of the same principle he had seen in the tent before and the smoke that rose from the oddly constructed holes only further proved his theory. the glass in their windows was thick and milky, which made it hard to peek through and the doors were tall and seemed to be made out of heavy wood.

 

the south was different. located close to the sea, in the heart of a dip in a valley, it was sunny and warm. their palace and the houses of the village right at outside the palace gates were airy and open. their palace, too, had a lot of arches and vast, thin windows, with all of the walls made out of sandstone. the palace wasn’t high, but it stretched wide.

 

the northern kingdom’s palace was built atop a hill, right outside a village, with dark red brick walls and high towers that could be seen from far away. the windows were small and dark and hyungwon wondered how much sunlight he would possibly get. it seemed intimidating, from the bottom of the hill, with only the moonlight and a few glowing embers of torches illuminating it. the snow laying atop the pointy, dark roofs made it seem almost sinister.

 

when their carriage stopped within the closed off yard of the castle it was night already. jooheon left the carriage first, practically threw his body outside like a hound that overjoyed at being home at long last. hyungwon’s legs had grown numb and he moved slowly, for once thankful that the crown prince waited for him and helped him out of the carriage. his head started swimming with the very first breath he took and as if he had noticed that hyungwon wasn’t all too steady on his feet, the crown prince kept his gentle hold on his arm.

 

          “the altitude is very high here. you’ll need some time to adjust.” hyungwon nodded his head and squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to chase away the floating, white spots that appeared in front of his closed lids. servants had arrived almost immediately and already started carrying large cases filled with his belongings through the intimidating entrance. he couldn’t see jooheon’s pale blond head anywhere.

 

          “where is jooheon?” the crown prince didn’t answer right away and adjusted his grip on hyungwon’s arm before he started leading him towards the castle.

          “he most likely ran off to greet his mother. this was the first time he left the castle for so long and to travel this far, she was worried about him.”

          “i see,” hyungwon replied. his thoughts wandered to the image of jooheon, throwing his arms around a brightly smiling, older woman who would kiss his soft cheeks and hold him close. he thought of his own mother, her gentle hands and meadow scent that never failed to bring him comfort. it would be uncertain when he would see his family again, but he could, at the very least, send them a letter tomorrow.

 

the crown prince led them through the entrance and hyungwon raised his chin, proud, and tried to swallow the heavy lump that had set in his throat at the thought of family. the servants around them bowed politely in greeting, all of them dressed in thick wool, burgundies and dark browns, leather and fur. the inside of the castle was warmer than the outside, but hyungwon’s limbs had grown so numb he could barely feel any difference.

 

          “you like jooheon, do you not, your highness?” the silence that had settled between them was promptly interrupted by the crown prince’s odd question. hyungwon turned his head to look at him and was met with a small, patient smile. it reminded hyungwon of how adults spoke to children, sometimes.

          “i do, yes. he’s quite pleasant to be around.” his spouse nodded and finally led them into a bedroom with an already lit fireplace and bustling servants that looked like they were hurrying to prepare a bath. hyungwon’s arm was released and although his steps were hesitant, he took his time looking around the room that would be his. it was smaller than the room he had at home, but much more high and, as feared, the tiny, milky windows only let in a small fraction of light. the bed had a heavy and thick canopy made out of rich, burgundy velvet that hyungwon couldn’t resist touching. some of the feeling in his fingers had finally started to return.

 

the crown prince cleared his throat and hyungwon turned from watching the maids add herbs to his steaming bath, to look at his spouse. he was tired and it probably showed on his face, but the crown prince looked no better.

 

          “my parents, the king and queen, will expect to see us tomorrow. for tonight you should relax, get used to your surroundings and rest. you may consider this as your room and yours alone, no one is allowed to enter without your permission and there is a lock in the door. tomorrow night you will be moved into my room and…” he tailed off and paused for a second, an uneasy frown tugging on his brows. hyungwon felt dizzy and nauseous again. “it will be encouraged for us to sleep together. should you feel too overwhelmed and need space, you’re always welcome to return here.” hyungwon knew what that meant. they had taught him everything he needed to know about being wed, even that he only had to lay back and close his eyes and think of his home.

 

hyungwon looked away, pretended to study the bedding and carpet. there was no desire or energy in him to exchange any further conversation with the crown prince and after a few moments of silence, his spouse seemed to have understood his lack of a verbal response for what it was.

 

          “two more things,” the crown prince added slowly, carefully, as if he was threading on thin ice, “firstly, jooheon was originally supposed to be your manservant only during the journey because he insisted on coming with me, but since the two of you seem to be getting along so well, i’ll notify him of his new position in court. he’ll remain as your manservant.” it was impossible to hide his surprise when he turned to look at the crown prince again.

 

          “thank you, your majesty.” hyungwon replied, his voice still rough.

 

          “you don’t need to thank me. jooheon will be delighted to hear he won’t need to spend all day in the kitchen and will instead have the chance to follow you around.” the servants left one after the other. the crown prince threw a glance over his shoulder when the door finally fell shut again, leaving the two of them in solitude. a nervousness spread through the pit of hyungwon’s stomach when their eyes met and the sudden awkwardness that was in the room could only be blamed on him.

 

          “is there anything else, your majesty?” hyungwon asked, after a moment of neither of them moving.

 

          “minhyuk.” the crown prince spoke softly, offering hyungwon his name and a smile that made his chest clench uncomfortably. “i… it would please me immensely, if you agreed for us to call each other by name, instead.” silence followed. it was not the most polite thing to do, to hesitate for so long. minhyuk was still smiling, hopeful, but his smile grew more strained by the second. the fine lines around his eyes made him look incredibly tired, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

 

          “minhyuk,” hyungwon had rolled the name around on his tongue after jooheon had used it. he had tasted it, in his mind, imagined his own lips form around the syllables. it didn’t compare to finally being able to say it out loud. “as you wish. you may address me as hyungwon.”

 

hyungwon learned that night that jooheon wasn’t the only one with a blinding smile.

 

*

 

it had taken hyungwon a few minutes of simply soaking within the scorching hot water for his skin to turn pink and borderline aching. it was a pleasant warmth, nonetheless. for days, hyungwon had been frozen stiff and dirty and finally being able to lather soap between his fingers and wash away the oils and dirt from the roots of his hair felt like paradise. a few different soaps had been prepared for him and all of them smelled vaguely sweet and spicy. it was a warm and homey scent, but one hyungwon had never smelled before. somewhere amongst his things there were soaps of lavender and rose and jasmine and mint, but for tonight, hyungwon would surround himself with what had been provided for him.

 

the water had turned murky, but it was still warm and despite knowing fully well that he was sitting in his own grime, hyungwon couldn’t bring his tired limbs to move. his whole body felt like lead; a heaviness that seemed to take over every fibre of his body. hyungwon was tired. he was drained and exhausted from the journey, the images that plagued him at night and the sickness that had turned him delirious and achy. a sigh fell from his perched lips as he rested his chin atop his knees, dark eyes slowly going out of focus.

 

the yellow eyes hyungwon though he saw following him disappeared after their encounter with the wolf-like beast. the crown prince — minhyuk, hyungwon finally allowed himself to think of it — had already said that someone seemed to be targeting him. his metaphorical fall from the nest that he called his home seemed all the more drastic now than it did days ago. it became clear that his parents, the whole court, hid things from him. war with their neighbouring kingdom had been the only threat hyungwon had ever known. there had never been talk about summoners, no one had ever tried to assassinate him, yet minhyuk’s warning rang loud and clear inside his head. he had mentioned dangers from the outside world, from within the court, and hyungwon was days away from his family and people he knew he could trust to keep him safe. fear had become his most dear companion since he started the journey and thinking of the beast that attacked him in the woods, hyungwon didn’t reckon it would disappear anytime soon.

 

a shiver ran along his spine and the pungent smell of iron returned, along with the memory. everything still felt too unreal. hyungwon would take days to settle into a new rhythm, even longer to find his place in a new culture, but a tremor took over his body at the thought that he couldn’t be sure he would survive that long.

 

and if he didn’t?

 

the circumstances of his death would lead to war without compromise and the images he dreamed of on the very first night in the carriage returned all too clearly in front of his inner eye.

 

he lifted his wrinkly hands out of the cooling water and clasped them in front of his lips and whispered, “please, gaia, i beg of you to keep me safe. send me a sign that you’re still with me, even though i’m far away from home.”

 

the silence of the room threatened to suffocate him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cassia in this chapter actually refers to the cinnamomum cassia, the chinese cinnamon. it's the what the soap hyungwon uses is made out of uwu


	4. lavender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon meets two very important people — jooheon’s mother and the king.

the sun greeted him in the form of a smiling jooheon. his hand was still on hyungwon’s back, rubbing along his spine and prompting the urge to stretch in him.

          “good morning, your highness. did you sleep well?” hyungwon hummed in reply, too busy fighting his heavy lids to hold a conversation. he had fallen into bed after his bath, the room warm from the fire in the fireplace and the cocoon of fabric he surrounded himself with had actually kept him from freezing during the night. the exhaustion that weighed on his body and made his thoughts sluggish quickly pulled him into a deep sleep. there were no dreams nor pictures playing behind his closed lids and the previous restlessness that had been plaguing him for the past few days seemed to have diminished into thin air. at least for the night.

when jooheon came to wake him he must have tended the fire first because when hyungwon cracked an eye open to glance at the room, the flames were still dancing wildly. a part of him remained wilfully numb to the change in environment and what that meant. he’d had four days to prepare himself for his arrival in the northern kingdom, yet now that he was finally there, reality still felt like a dream, and the prince half expected to wake up and still be stuck in the rattling carriage.

he sighed and pulled his bent arms from below his pillow to rub at his stubbornly heavy eyelids. barely any sunlight entered through the small windows, casting everything in a dim, grey light. it didn’t feel like morning and hyungwon didn’t yet feel like getting out of bed.

a pity that there would be no one asking him what he did and didn’t feel like doing anymore. he was the crown prince’s spouse and what would await him would be responsibilities upon responsibilities. hours upon hours of sitting quietly and looking interested and pleasant, with his back aching and posture that of a doll on a string. there would be the new classes on language and etiquette and weapon training.

a lump formed in his throat that hyungwon managed to swallow with some difficulties. it wasn’t the time to become emotional.

with a lot of struggles, he managed to turn onto his back before stretching his arms as far over his head as he could. the way his spine cracked was nothing if not satisfying. his body still ached slightly, muscles sore and tense from the days of journey, but the bath he got to enjoy the previous night had undoubtedly helped.

          “what time is it? it’s so dark outside, it looks early.” hyungwon finally mumbled, his sleepy eyes resting on jooheon’s pale face.

          “it’s close to midday, your highness.” jooheon’s reply had hyungwon sitting up and balancing his weight on his elbows, his drowsiness gone at once. he had missed breakfast, which meant he had missed a chance to introduce himself to the rest of the royal family. not even one day in their home and he had already left a bad impression.

          “don’t look so panicked,” jooheon laughed and placed a soothing hand on his thigh, “minhyuk is still asleep, i think. no one was expecting you to be up early, anyway. i only came to wake you so you would have enough time to eat something before i get you ready to meet the king.” hyungwon sighed and threw himself back onto the soft down pillows. his heart was still fluttering against his chest with a lingering sense of panic, a dread that made him feel awake and alert. maybe that sense of fear, of teetering the edge of a cliff, would never truly go away. the prince had a hard time imagining ever feeling at home in the cold and bleak north, so far away from the comfort of hoseok and their garden and his mother and brother.

jooheon had the nerve to cackle, and hyungwon took a deep breath with the intention to fight the worries that had gathered in his chest like a raven’s nest. he had been trained to be calm and composed under harsh circumstances, it was time to finally put said training to use. his attention returned to the smug and cheeky manservant that was perched on the edge of his bed and a small sense of ease washed over him. even if he would never feel at home in the north, he could imagine feeling at home next to jooheon.

          “if some other servant had startled me like this, i’d have made sure to complain about them. you’re lucky you’ve charmed me beyond return, bumblebee.” hyungwon smiled, open and warm, and for the first time, instead of grinning back, jooheon’s milky skin turned a lovely, bright pink. resisting his urge to reach up and touch those soft, flushed cheeks was impossible and hyungwon didn’t plan to deny himself the pleasure. he sat up and shifted closer before cupping jooheon’s cheeks in his hands and squishing them together with his palms. jooheon’s skin was baby soft and he looked adorable, despite the frown on his face and the funny expression.  
          “you’re even more charming when you get shy,” hyungwon cooed. his manservant whined and grabbed his wrists, easily prying his cold hands away.

          “i don’t want to be teased like this! especially not by someone whose hair makes them look like a scarecrow.” he shot back, leaving hyungwon slack jawed. it was banter. more friendly and much more intimate than he had expected to get with anyone from the north, but jooheon’s laughter rang in his ears like the chirping of young birds and he felt his chest swell with affection. he found himself laughing along.

          “who are you to criticise my hair, huh? yours makes you look as if you barely have any!” hyungwon felt his victory insured with his quip and pushed the heavy duvet aside to finally slip out of bed. the ground was covered in soft fur that felt pleasantly warm beneath his feet, but made him feel more than just slightly disturbed. most of the room was covered in fur, which meant dozens of animals being slaughtered for their skin.

his steps carried him towards one of the windows, high enough on the stone wall to prompt him to lift himself onto his tip toes. the tower his room was in was high, making it seem as though he was almost on the same level as the grey sky.

          “it’s most likely going to rain today,” he heard jooheon say before the rustling of sheets and bedding followed, indicating that the servant had started to make his bed. there would be no return to the sanctuary of warm sheets after that. “changkyun told me not to let you go out for the next few days anyway. he said it’s too cold and your body has a few things it needs to adjust to before it can handle the cold and the snow.” the vaguely familiar name peaked hyungwon’s interest and it took him a few moments of silence to realise who jooheon had been talking about.

          “how you so casually call both the princes by name is beyond me.” he turned in time to catch jooheon shrug one shoulder in the most off-hand manner, his back turned to hyungwon.

          “i’ve known them both my whole life. my mother used to bathe me and changkyun together. it would be more weird if i addressed them by their titles all the time. minhyuk said it’s fine to use names in private situations, so it’s not like i’m breaking the rules.” hyungwon bit his tongue not to point out that regardless of what the crown prince said, the rules of etiquette were still in place and jooheon was still breaking them, but the servant finally finished making his bed and turned to him with a dimpled smile.  
          “i’m supposed to ask you if you would like to have breakfast in bed or in the kitchen, but i also promised my mother that she would get to see you. i hope that’s alright with you, your highness.” it seemed so typical of jooheon to make these kinds of decisions and whisk hyungwon along to his every whim while making it seem like he was still giving him a choice. jooheon was charming that way, much more charming and radiant than hyungwon ever was, and with the awe and affection he felt came a small sense of envy.

          “my clothes should be sorted into the dressing room already. let’s see if you can help me get ready.”

jooheon’s lack of experience as manservant quickly became obvious when it came down to detailed work, such as dressing the prince. he was missing the knowledge on the way clasps worked, on how to tie bows and strings to make them look aesthetically pleasing, but whatever he was lacking in expertise he made up for in interest. the clothes of the south differed vastly from those of the northerners. he could see jooheon’s fingers brushing over the silken shirts with amazement, touching the fabric as if it were fragile glass, his pouty lips parted.

          “those beads are pretty.” jooheon commented. his small fingers were trailing along the fabric covering hyungwon’s collarbones that had tiny pearls worked into it. “it’s similar to the one you wore on your wedding, right?” hyungwon nodded once and adjusted the ribbons that tied the material together at his wrists.

          “most of my clothes are more intricate than my brothers. his are styled similarly to the king’s.” the stiff, high collared jackets were probably the only thing hyungwon never envied him for. “his are supposed to make him look regal and important. mine are there to make me look pretty.” never before had hyungwon spoken those words out loud. they had been playing over in his head countless times, often when he had to sit next to his brother at banquets and dinners and smile at lords and ladies.

he finally looked up and caught his own eye in the dressing room’s mirror. the last time he had seen his own face was before his wedding and despite the event only being days ago, hyungwon looked like he had aged. his dark circles were prominent and his usually glowing, tan skin seemed sallow. last night he hadn’t remembered to brush his hair and dry it with a towel before going to sleep and it showed in the loose waves and curled tips that laid messily upon his head. not even his clothes could distract from the supposedly beautiful prince looking anything but appealing.

          “even in minhyuk’s clothes, you looked like a flower, your highness.” jooheon spoke hesitantly, breaking the laden silence between them. he was looking at hyungwon’s profile, searching his face. his kindness made him so beautiful, hyungwon decided then. the heart of gold that was undoubtedly beating in his chest and whispering at him to spread happiness and always be fair and just and helpful. jooheon was the closest thing to hoseok he would ever have and the thought made his chest clench uncomfortably.

          “thank you, jooheon.” the prince turned to him and offered a smile. the reaction was immediate and jooheon seemed pleased with himself, thinking he cheered up the prince that was so worried about his appearance. it wasn’t like hyungwon to destroy that illusion.

getting ready took longer than usual, but the servant managed to dress him in his thickest and most fitting dark green trousers and modest shirt with a high, ruffled collar and loose sleeves. there hadn’t been enough time for hyungwon to wash himself, but jooheon had been thoughtful enough to bring a bowl of fresh water for him to wash his face. his wavy hair was tamed with a soft brush and some water and oils combined before he applied some lavender oil to the inside of his wrists and neck.

the light, floaty shirts and tunics hyungwon usually wore were much too thin for the north’s cold weather and, to his surprise, jooheon pulled a pure white fur cloak out of the dressing room and draped it over his shoulders. none of the furs he had seen up until that point where white and when he turned to jooheon with a questioning frown, the servant was busying himself adjusting the heavy cloak.

          “this is a present from the king.” there was hesitation in jooheon’s voice voice and it occurred to him that he must have been unsure about how the present would be accepted. hyungwon had made it clear enough more than once that he didn’t approve of animals being killed for fur and while he understood that the fur was needed to shield the northerners from the cold, he didn’t want to own a fur cloak of his own.

          “the colour is quite odd. i haven’t seen anyone else wear white fur.” jooheon wouldn’t look at him but a tiny frown had creased between his brows, his hands restlessly brushing over hyungwon’s shoulders.

          “it’s the fur of the arctic fox. only the royal family is allowed to wear them, your highness.” the underlying meaning of his statement was clear; whether hyungwon wanted it or not, the fur was his and refusing such a rare gift wouldn’t be acceptable.

          “i’ll make sure to tell the king that it’s lovely.” that seemed to ease the small worry that had clouded jooheon’s sunny nature. “now, let’s get going. we probably shouldn’t waste too much time.”

the servant made a show of bowing deeply and holding the door open for him to pass through, then reached out to take a tug on hyungwon’s cold hand.

          “first, you have to meet my mother.”

*

jooheon’s mother was, unsurprisingly, a round faced women with deep set dimples and the radiance of a thousand sunflowers. she smiled and pulled hyungwon into her arms as if he was a long lost son and not a foreign prince she saw for the first time. he allowed it, partially due to being too flabbergasted to move and partially because she smelled like freshly baked pastries and vanilla. once she pulled away hyungwon wasn’t even given the chance to get a word in before her hands were cupping his face, tender and caring and loving. not much unlike his own mother. she was saying something in their language and all hyungwon could understand was ‘ _little_ ’ and ‘ _food_ ’.

          “look at you, so pretty!” the woman finally addressed him, her accent even thicker than jooheon’s. “my honey has been talking about nothing but you since he came back.” from somewhere behind him, hyungwon could hear jooheon fall into a coughing fit, almost as if he was trying not to choke. he couldn’t fight a tiny smile.  
          “we need to feed you, child, you’re only skin and bones. come on-“ she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the wooden table in the middle of the kitchen. a plate with cheese and bread had been prepared, as well as a mug full of milk.  
          “come on, eat. jooheon told me you don’t eat meat, it’s no wonder you’re so skinny. i’ll just have to feed you with milk and cheese and eggs until you come around.“ hyungwon stumbled onto the wooden bench, clumsy like a newborn fawn that was trying to keep up. she was a small woman, but her arms were surprisingly strong and her fingers insistent as they piled fresh bread and biscuits and pastries onto his plate.

          “eat, my boy.” she smiled at him with the warmth and kindness of a mother and hyungwon, choked up and blinking away emotions, tried to drown all his longing with big gulps of warm milk with honey. the prince had barely mumbled more than a soft ‘ _thank you_ ’ and jooheon had fallen into an unusual silence as well, away from his field of vision and busying himself with something hyungwon couldn’t see.

there were a couple different servants entering and leaving the kitchen as he ate. an older woman with her hair tied up into a grey bun and her hands kneading dough with expertise. a song was on her lips, a quiet hum that accompanied the rustling of fire and soft bubbling of the steaming soup that was cooking away in a giant cauldron. everything felt more warm and cordial than he had expected. scents and sounds and people differed, but hyungwon found the bustling and earnest atmosphere he felt at the palace kitchen back at home.

( if he were to close his eyes he would hear the laughter of the kitchen maidens, inhale the scent of fresh apples and plums. he would taste the salty air and hear the rush of the ocean waves in the distance. sunlight was almost palpable against his skin at the peak of summer days, the seagulls’ cries sharp and loud in his ear whenever they flew past above his head. hyungwon liked to imagine tasting the freedom they got to enjoy and would climb to the top of the tallest tree just to feel the wind whip against his cheeks. the prince still so clearly recalled the memory of the orange sun that hung so low against the horizon and cast the sandstone castle in a vibrant glow. but lingering in memories would take his focus from the present, therefore hyungwon kept his eyes wide open ).

jooheon’s mother sat close to him, scrutinising with a patient smile. she paid everyone else no mind as they went along their business and focused only on him instead. just this morning hyungwon didn’t think it possible that the nervousness in him would ever give him rest, lest for the few moments he could be alone, but she proved him wrong with nothing but an open heart.

          “how old are you, dear?” she suddenly asked, before repeating the same question in her own language. unlike how she spoke to jooheon before, the woman pronounced everything slowly and clearly enough for him to understand.

hyungwon struggled to swallow the bite that had lodged inside the back of his throat.  
          “i’m eighteen.”  
          “oh, you’re so young! you’re the same age as jooheon.” she exclaimed, seemingly surprised. from the corner of his eye, hyungwon saw another woman approach the table. her hair was almost as white as snow and her skin was wrinkly and ashen, eyes narrowed as she leaned closer to study hyungwon’s face. he felt uncomfortable, but unable to move or shy away.

          “ _mhm, a child_.” the old woman spoke in her mother tongue. her voice was deep and oddly raspy. “it looks like they sold us a sickly child. figures that ending the war means so little to _those filthy bastards_. high up on their horses with their pretty robes and pretty houses. _filthy, lying and arrogant_.” silence lasted for a few seconds. hyungwon sat with his teeth clenched and lips pressed in a thin line. she was old and fighting with her would lead to nothing, so he held his tongue — no matter how much he wanted to speak up and defend his people. the woman’s eyes didn’t leave his; she started mumbling something hyungwon didn’t understand before turning away and leaving the kitchen in staggering and limping strides. he had lost his appetite.

          “thank you for the food. the pastries are especially exquisite.” hyungwon hadn’t finished all that had been placed onto his plate, but instead of lingering on the negativity that had suddenly filled the room, he turned to the woman next to him with a tiny smile. situations like these was what he had feared, but they were to be expected. in his kingdom there were enough people that called northerners filthy, barbaric beasts. jooheon’s mother opened her mouth as if she was about to try and pursue him to eat more when jooheon sat himself on the bench next to him and grabbed a slice of bread from his plate.

          “his stomach probably has to get used to him having more than just a few berries and an apple.” the other boy commented. what he had said was arguable, but he had distracted his mother and saved him from having more food shoved down his throat than he could handle. jooheon’s mother didn’t look all that convinced either, but she dropped the topic.

          “i really am fine, thank you for your kindness, madam.” hyungwon had once again returned to being soft spoken and meek. he hid his shyness behind politeness and the way the woman wiped her hands on her apron before reaching out to hold his hand told him she knew.

          “just call me mother, my dear boy. we’ll be seeing a lot of each other from now on, i reckon. i’ll be making sure you’re healthy and well fed, otherwise you won’t survive the winter, hm?” if the winter was any colder than what hyungwon had seen then he probably wouldn’t.

          “the way he is now, the wind could blow him away.” a familiar, raspy voice commented. it was all the warning hyungwon got before an arm was brushing over his shoulder and reaching for a piece of pasty in his plate.

          “minhyuk!” the woman chided with a click of her tongue, “did you only just get out of bed? your hair looks like a crows’ nest.” she released his hand and got up from the bench, most likely to fix the crown prince’s hair. next to him jooheon was cackling and struggling to swallow the bite he had stuffed inside his mouth before. his twinkling eyes were resting on the crown prince who was standing so closely behind hyungwon that he could feel his warmth, seeping through layers of clothes.

          “you should have seen our highness this morning, he looked like a scarecrow.” the disapproving and betrayed look hyungwon threw his servant did nothing to deter him from laughing and nudging their shoulders together. it was still in jest when hyungwon leaned closer to him and hissed ‘ _i take back what i said this morning, i’m not charmed anymore_.’ against his cheek. jooheon seemed to mind little; he grinned his amusement and gave hyungwon a cheeky wink that made him want to throw pastries in his face.

          “minhyuk, do you want to sit down and eat, boy?” hyungwon turned to glance over his shoulder and caught sight of a military cut jacket in the crown prince’s signature bordeaux colour.

          “no, i’m afraid i only came to fetch his highness. i don’t want to let father wait too long, i hear he’s been dying to meet the prince of the south.” minhyuk’s hands reached for his shoulder and hyungwon tensed up, thinking he was about to be touched. “the fur is his gift, is it not?” pale fingers pinch the tiny white hairs between two finger pads and tug lightly, almost provocatively. there were a few things hyungwon could have done in reaction to that, but curiosity got the better of him and he lifted his chin and tilted his head back in an attempt to catch minhyuk’s expression. the back of his head hit the buckle of a belt with minhyuk standing closer than he thought. slanted eyes met his, curved into crescent moons when the prince, against all odds and expectations, smiled with his whole face.

          “good morning, hyungwon.” he felt heat flare up in his cheeks because of the smile, because of his name that so casually and gently slipped past thin lips, sounding like the caress of satin gloves.

          “good morning.” hyungwon replied, sounding breathless. he could feel jooheon’s stare on his face and knew that the room’s centre of attention was the freshly wed royal couple and their bold display of intimacy. the rush of blood filled his ears, carrying the heat from his cheeks with it and forcing hyungwon to clear his throat and lower his head before finally getting up. “we shouldn’t let the king wait. i’m ready to go.”

minhyuk was still smiling when hyungwon turned to him and he felt slightly dizzy all of a sudden. an arm was offered to him and the younger prince took it gratefully, linked his own with minhyuk’s.

the heavy door falling shut behind them as they left the kitchen resonated against the high walls of the cold hallway. they were alone again and hyungwon exhaled a prolonged breath before turning to face the crown prince.  
          “that was a rather daring scene, was it not?” minhyuk merely glanced at him from the corner of his eye. a sharp grin was playing on his thin lips, similar to a mischievous child’s. he tightened his hold on hyungwon’s arm and leaned in close. his breath was warm and smelled of powdered sugar and pastry dough.  
          “servants like to gossip and it’s our job to keep up appearances, as you know.” like a fox, indeed. minhyuk was sly with a tongue made of silver and eyes sharp like knives. hyungwon wasn’t surprised that he seemed to have a knack for eavesdropping, too. he probably heard the whole, brief conversation between him and the old woman.  
          “now smile. you’re about to meet the king.”

*

  
the castle’s throne room was a vast, open space with thick, marble pillars. as soon as they stepped foot inside, their arrival was announced by a servant and minhyuk’s arm released his. hyungwon had been instructed weeks ago how to formally introduce himself to the king, he was prepared for the crown prince to leave his side and approach first. hyungwon knew he would have to wait alone, his eyes lowered to the ground in coy modesty. his fingers were curled into fists, hidden beneath the thick fur that claimed him as a part of the royal household.

minhyuk’s voice seemed muffled and soft in comparison to the king’s boisterous and booming tone that startled him where he stood. he couldn’t understand what was being said and didn’t dare look up until the servant next to him announced him again, this time using his full name.

the carpet beneath his feet was red with gold threads winding along the sides like two serpents that hyungwon couldn’t help but follow with his eyes. only when he caught sight of minhyuk’s boots from his peripheral vision did he halt his steps and place his left hand to the middle of his chest, his right hand still curled into a fist and resting against the small of his back. hyungwon’s rank was high enough that he needn’t do more than bow forward slightly, a tilt of his head and bend at the waist, before finally lifting his eyes to meet the king’s.

he was a large, old man. older than his own father. his shoulders were wide and adorned with what was once a living, breathing fox, that was now curled around his neck as if sleeping. hyungwon couldn’t see his mouth; his lips completely concealed by a reddish-brown beard, but his eyes were twinkling with peculiar excitement that sent a shiver along his spine.

the king leaned forward at the same time as hyungwon straightened up again and allowed his hands to rest against his upper thighs, open and relaxed. when he opened his mouth to speak he addressed minhyuk in their native tongue, while still keeping his eyes trained on hyungwon, who understood none of it and remained silent.

 _don’t speak until spoken to_ , he heard his mother say.

the king guffawed and a second later, hyungwon heard minhyuk join in.

          “my gift suits you well, little flower.” hyungwon understood early on that predators eye prey like a weak toy, something to pass time with before ultimately devouring. a predator knew that it was stronger than whatever it had set its eyes on and was very well aware that a single swipe of a clawed paw or bite of sharp teeth could kill. yet, the powerful liked to play with the weak; tease with a nip and push with soft pads instead, while their eyes twinkled with playful greed. that was how the king looked at him.

he was the little flower, growing like stubborn weed amongst the snowy planes. but no matter how stubborn, a tiny flower could never survive the cold, harsh winters of the north. they both were aware of that.

          “thank you kindly, your majesty.” when hyungwon was younger, he used to slur his words and drag his tongue as thought it was numb, or he was simply too lazy to properly enunciate his syllables. he used to laugh in a high pitch and raise his voice when excited or upset. when hyungwon was younger he used to do a lot of things, dream wild dreams; he used to have a personality. it had taken years of harsh lessons, of a perfectly smooth wooden stick turning his knuckles blue and green, until he stopped glaring and complaining and mumbling and speaking too loudly. his teachers skilfully stripped him of every single layer they thought was too aggressive, too forward, too unpleasant until all that was left was a pretty shell with excellent manners.

in all those years hyungwon had cried about his lessons one single time. his mother had been putting a soothing ointment over his bruised hands and her gentle words had coaxed all of his suffering out of him in the form of wailing and ugly tears. she held him close and whispered apologised against the crown of his head. to this day he wasn’t sure what exactly she had been apologising for.

they drilled him and shaped him and now hyungwon stood before the king of a land where he was no one and nothing and could easily be slain or beheaded. perhaps that was why they taught him how to be the perfect trophy. no one would think of killing an inanimate object.

the king seemed pleased with his words — or perhaps hyungwon was being mocked and looked down upon when his beard shifting into a smile hyungwon couldn’t see.

          “i have heard many things about the southern kingdom’s younger prince. can you speak our language yet, boy?”

          “no, your majesty.”

          “and you can’t wield any weapons either, correct?”

          “that is correct, your majesty.”

the king fell silent, reached up to stroke over his beard in thought and just when hyungwon expected another question, the king opened his mouth again and in a much quieter voice, he said, “you can’t fight and you can’t understand us, but you know how to stand there and look pleasant, hm? your parents must have bred you just to give you away.”

hyungwon flinched, his body visibly recoiling from the harsh words. he had entertained the thought too, bitterly, while lying awake at night in his bed and wondering why he had to be wed and sent away, but never had he dared even whisper them. not even in the solitude of his own room. the king spoke them so carelessly and casually, as if talking about inane matters, while hyungwon lowered his eyes in a futile attempt to conceal the painfully burning sensation in his chest. his hands were shaking and his tongue felt clumsy and leaden, again.

          “ _enough_.” a single word pulls the king’s attention and hyungwon hasn’t yet turned to his right to spot the source when a delicate hand came to rest on his shoulder and blood red hair, the same shade as minhyuk’s, entered his field of vision.

the queen looked much younger than her spouse. her face was all angles and protruding features; from the sharp eyes to the straight line of her nose. then she turned to face him and even her smile reminded him of minhyuk’s; polite and placating.  
          “i apologise for my husband’s tone, he’s as tactful as a pile of horse dung and that is if you get him on a good day.” minhyuk started laughing first and the king joined in only a moment later. hyungwon felt gobsmacked, couldn’t stop staring; there was this woman, pretty and small and clearly wearing the crown of the queen and yet she dared talk to her husband that way.

          “i merely meant to tease him a bit, my love,” the king started, his voice laced with sheepishness. when hyungwon turned to look at him, his face was filled with adoration, his attention on his wife as she approached her throne. “he’s as meek as a rabbit, i’ve never seen a boy act like this. i thought that might coax him out of his prim shell.” the queen paused to lift the hem of her fur cloak before turning to take a seat next to her husband. there was a scowl on her face as she looked at the king, but it immediately vanished when her attention returned to hyungwon.

          “please, speak freely and introduce yourself. i want to hear what you have to say. i know that my husband can seem a bit intimidating, but you have nothing to fear, child. you’re safe with us.” the queen explained.

 _everything will be fine_ , minhyuk had told him on that very first night in the carriage. _i’ll take care of you_.

          “my name is chae hyungwon,” his voice was shaking with effort to ring loud and clear and the rest of his body seemed to be quivering with the same effort, “i’m the second prince of the southern kingdom and i may not be able to fight, nor do i speak your language _yet_ , but your majesty will find that i have a very good head on my shoulders. i am not just there to look nice, you’ll find that i’m capable and a fast learner, too.” in truth, hyungwon was terrified. as firm as his face may have looked, he wasn’t sure if it could hide the anxiousness that was swimming in his eyes, or the tremble of his shoulders and knees, but he kept his gaze trained on the king before finally turning to minhyuk.

          “i know you think i’m weak and spoiled. i know your belief is that there is little worth and little strength to me if i’m not capable of killing and fighting. it’s your belief and i will let you have it, but that doesn’t mean that you’re right and that certainly doesn’t mean that your truth is universal. i will respect your traditions and i will respect your culture, but i ask you to return the favour and treat me the same. i don’t wish to harm and i don’t wish to wield weapons. i hope you can respect my choices and that my way is different from the way of the northerners.”

he couldn’t read the expression on minhyuk’s face; he wasn’t smiling anymore, he looked sombre and curious and maybe the slightest bit surprised. the adrenaline was shooting through his blood, making his heart pound so loudly in his ears that hyungwon couldn’t hear his own voice anymore. his eyes met the king again and it took every ounce of energy in him not to look away, not to lower his eyes.

( hyungwon’s earliest memory was of himself, with his ruffled clothes and curly hair, sitting within a meadow of flowers. his mother was singing and her voice seemed to fuse with the wind and every rise and fall of pitch seemed to shift the breeze. she was like a fairy to him, something magical and unreal, and hyungwon watched with amazement as the flowers around her bent closer as if to bow their head in her honour. every touch of her cool hands seemed to nurture and create. a bond formed within their household even when the children fought and his father turned a blind eye to him, the bright summer days were never ending because of her vibrant smile and melodic words. the people loved to listen to her, rejoiced and sung their praises for the kindness of the beautiful queen. she wrapped around their kingdom as strong and protective as poison ivy; she was what held them all together. )

          “i _am_  strong. but my strength doesn’t lie with aggression, but with resilience. you call me little flower and i suppose i am like one. but even if you trample over me and cover me with snow and i start withering, my roots will survive it all. my mother didn’t raise a gift to a future king, she raised a son that’s strong enough to bring two kingdoms together.” his chest was fluttering with quick breathes and amongst all his bravura, hyungwon started to feel lightheaded. the king sat upon his cold throne like a marble statue and the tension that had become stuck between his squared shoulders was enough of a hint that hyungwon had said too much.

          “are you looking down on our ways? looking down on your new king?” the king asked into the silence of the room. his grumble of a voice vibrated inside hyungwon’s chest, wrapped around his heart and squeezed until he felt like he was suffocating.

          “no! no, your majesty, that’s not—“

          “you said you respect our ways, but you people from the south clearly seem to think that we are barbaric and wild for hunting and fighting. you think you’re better than us just because you don’t live like we do?”

          “that’s not what i said!” the words stumbled out of his constricted throat in frustration and desperation and suddenly hyungwon wished he had never spoken up in the first place because suddenly the king is on his feet and an accusing finger is pointed at him.

          “you have no _idea_ , child, what your people have done to us! you don’t know what life is like outside of the pretty walls of your palace, you have not the slightest idea what caused this war and this rift between our kingdoms and yet you dare look down on the way we preserve and survive?” the tears were burning at the corners of his eyes and with every accusing word, hyungwon started to tremble harder. his hands were tightly clutching the fur draped over his shoulders as the only mean to hold onto something and hold himself together. “you are the spouse of the future king, you belong to my son now and as such, he makes the decisions for you. if he decides that you are to learn how to fight then you will because there are too many dangers out there for us to always have someone available to protect you! this world doesn’t revolve around you and your safety! and this is about more than just you, or him.”

no one moved, no one even seemed to breathe and hyungwon couldn’t hold the king’s gaze anymore and dropped his eyes to the carpet below his feet. he was dizzy and nauseous and filled with regret. last night he had begged gaia for a sign, but she had clearly left him and now hyungwon endangered his kingdom and the fragile balance their bond was supposed to uphold with thoughtless words that should have never left his mouth. they hadn’t kept him locked inside studies and libraries and drilled lessons into him just for hyungwon to hurl them all out of the window as soon as the first opportunity arose — yet, that was exactly what he had done.

          “you two may leave now,” the king spoke curtly. “they send us nothing but an immature child that has no grasp of the real world around him. the next time i see him, i expect you to have taught him a few things, minhyuk.” hyungwon bowed, stiff and automatic, and remained numb as minhyuk lead him out of the throne room.

everything was a blur and once they were back in his room, all hyungwon noticed was the back of his shaky knees hitting the edge of the bed and minhyuk standing in front of him, silent and pensive.

          “i’m sorry.” hyungwon whispered, all too aware of the pitiful way his voice broke. he felt like a child with dreams too big for his own head once more and the humiliation of that being exposed still sat deep in the marrow of his bones. minhyuk didn’t reply and when hyungwon glanced up to catch a glimpse of his face, the crown prince looked conflicted, with his lips parted as if he was about to say something. his brows twisted, as did his face, and instead of words an almost inaudible exhale left his lips.

          “i’ll send jooheon to check up on you in a bit. i will see you again tonight when they bring you to my room.”

despite the fire still crackling away peacefully within the fireplace, the whole room felt much colder once minhyuk turned around and left.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since i thought people are missing out a bit on not knowing why i choose the flowers i did for the chapter names, i decided to add their meanings in all of the end notes uwu here's this chapter's meaning: 
> 
> "Lavender symbolizes admiration, solitude and beauty while white heather symbolises protection and indicates that wishes will come true."


	5. sunflowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon meets the second prince and spends his first night with minhyuk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the long awaited wedding night happens i hope you all are Ready

the red petals of the tiny amaryllis flower that had remained pressed between the pages of his favourite book had withered and dried. when hyungwon pried the pages apart with careful, cautious fingers, he felt a sense of dread and remorse. the leaves crumbled upon his touch; much like hoseok’s smile did, much like his own dreams of love and romance had.

 

next to the fireplace in his room was a tiny corner, between the red brick wall and heavy bookshelf, in which hyungwon curled up. the bit of light that managed to fight its way through the thick, milky windows fell right in front of his feet and gently played along the tops of his knees. his favourite book was balanced on them — with the tattered, yellow pages and the cracked spine and loose sheets. it was a book hoseok had given him years ago and while the contents of it were rather childish and outdated, a tale of old — _the tale of the spirit of the cherry blossom tree_  —, the prince had found himself unable to part with it since.

 

( when hyungwon was fourteen he met the sixteen year old hoseok for the first time. his father, a gentle and soft spoken man with deep wrinkles next to his eyes, had brought the young boy along with him, to start teaching him all he had to know about his future position in the court. the young prince had still been more curious then, wide eyed and a bit of a wild thing, snuck around the gardens on bare feet and with the grace of a cat.

 

he had spied on hoseok from afar and approached as soon as the boy had found himself alone for a moment. there had been no need for hyungwon to introduce himself, his face was hung on walls and carefully depicted in portraits, and while hoseok seemed hesitant to meet his eyes and speak clearly at first, hyungwon had been so insistent in seeking out conversation with him that the gardener’s son eventually gave up. hyunwoo was years older and he had his own friends, he had the soldier’s sons, hyungwon wasn’t allowed to play with them. there had been no one close enough to his age that was part of the court aside from the gardener’s son.

 

hoseok had made it so easy to like him too; he smelled of flowers and soil, had a pretty face and pretty lips that formed all of his words carefully and gently. his personality was meek, like that of a pure, white rabbit’s, and hyungwon very quickly grew protective of him and what they had. they shared whispered secrets whenever hyungwon would sneak out at night and star gaze below the clear and twinkling sky.

 

half a year later, hyungwon had called hoseok his best friend — he was his first and only friend as well, but such details were left unspoken — and hoseok, in return, gave him the book. on the very first page he had scribbled words of dedication in black ink. )

 

hyungwon turned the pages of the book carefully, mindful of the flower that had been tucked inside, and opened the very first page. the ink had faded slightly, grown more pale, but even amongst the dim light of his new room, he could trace the fine lines of each word.

 

_to hyungwon,_

_when i think of you i think of sunflowers._

_while it isn’t much, i hope that reading this book that was given to me by my mother makes you think of me._

_your friend, forever, hoseok._

 

affection still bloomed in his chest when he thought of the man that reminded him of his happiest summer days, but along with the blossoming petals of the rose bush that had grown around his heart came the sharp thorns. sitting alone in the silence of his new room, with only the fireplace and the sporadic whistle of wind that knocked against his window, his longing grew all the more. he thought of hoseok and the pain on his chest brought his thoughts back to minhyuk.

 

his retreating back had seemed more stiff and weighted than ever when he turned and walked out of the door of hyungwon’s room. hyungwon had sat, shaking and waxen, until jooheon returned with milk and honey. even his manservant remained silent as he rubbed a hand along his back and waited for him to finish drinking. his shaking stopped eventually and although jooheon had urged him to lay down and rest, hyungwon had gotten out of bed as soon as he was left alone.

 

some hours must have passed, but hyungwon had a hard time keeping track without being able to trace the sun’s path. no one had dared to enter and no one had as much as approached his room. the prince wouldn’t have minded, had an inkling of worry not remained a constant companion since his journey started. the audience with the king was a disaster and hyungwon found himself gnawing at his lips and playing with the frayed edges of the book to release some of the nervous tension he was feeling. what had been worse even then his conversation with the king had been minhyuk’s reaction. his silence and curt replies were the cutting edge of an arrow that had lodged itself into his abdomen and wouldn’t stop twisting with every in- and exhale.

 

hyungwon hadn’t been able to read his expression in those few seconds he had looked at him; he had expected minhyuk to criticise his behaviour, but the lack of conversation that he received instead felt like a much harsher punishment. the promise of seeing the crown prince again at night and be locked in a room with him suddenly appeared even more nerve wrecking and nausea inducing than before. consummating a marriage never had been about love, it was an act of necessity. his teachers had prepared him and explained what an impersonal and difficult situation that would be, but didn’t waste a breath to tell him that regardless of his feelings, he had to go through with it.

 

a shudder ran along his spine and hyungwon pulled his legs closer to his body, effectively chasing the prism of light that had hit his book away. the position he had been sitting in had earned him nothing but a dull ache next to his right shoulder blade and small discomfort when he moved to stand up. hyungwon walked over to the study table that was placed right beneath one of the windows and placed the book inside a small drawer, just in time to hear the soft thudding of approaching steps. he turned and expected to be greeted with the sight of his manservant, when a short, sharp eyed boy slipped inside his room. his clothes were a dark, dark red, almost like mahogany wood and he remained silent, scrutinising hyungwon with a daring and careless look.

 

he clearly was no servant’s boy.

 

          “you must be the younger prince.” hyungwon concluded, politely. the boy smiled and while his dimples reminded hyungwon of jooheon, the thin mouth and slanted eyes were reminiscent of minhyuk’s. “jooheon has told me about you.”

 

          “you’re very perceptive for an idiot who started a fight with the king on his very first day.” any politeness that hyungwon’s tone held, was quickly dropped and forgotten once changkyun spoke up. his voice was oddly deep for someone as young as him, but the way it cracked at the last word made hyungwon almost feel a bit self-righteous.

 

          “i didn’t start a fight, i was simply speaking up. like the queen had urged me to.” hyungwon frowned and changkyun laughed — his laughter was impish and childish and everything a boy was supposed to be.

 

          “i know, i was eavesdropping.” and just like that the tension seemed to be resolved and the second prince took confident strides into hyungwon’s room, successfully invading his space. his eyes were restlessly shifting about and as annoying as he may have seemed, hyungwon couldn’t deny his resemblance to a cute, young puppy.

 

          “is there a reason you decided to intrude into my chambers, your majesty?” his voice remained relatively even and calm for the unsettled state hyungwon had found himself in. changkyun posed no threat, clearly, and while hyungwon wasn’t all too keen on entertaining the younger prince all by himself, it might have been better than being all by himself until nightfall. who knew when jooheon would drop by, or if, before it would be hyungwon’s turn to get ready. changkyun was young, but there were only advantages to gaining the younger prince’s approval and trust. especially after the previous debacle with the king.

 

the younger prince seemed energetic and childlike; something appropriate for his age, yet it surprised hyungwon how vastly different he seemed from the ever serious and responsible crown prince minhyuk. everything around the crown prince was calculated and cold and sharp, while changkyun seemed like a bundle of uncontrollable, chaotic energy.

 

as if to prove him right, changkyun hummed beneath his breath before throwing himself face first onto hyungwon’s freshly made bed. hyungwon was about to question what it was that the prince was doing, when he heard an unmistakable sniffing and saw the prince sit up and turn to face him as quickly as he had face planted.

 

          “do you realise that this whole room smells like flowers? i can’t pinpoint where it comes from or what it smells like, but this is definitely what flowers smell like.” for a moment hyungwon remained immobile before heaving a sigh of resignation. the way the other prince grinned told him that he knew he had won a playmate for an unforeseeable time.

 

there was a heavy box that had been stored inside his dressing room by servants and included all of hyungwon’s oils and soaps and, with some difficulty and changkyun’s help, he managed to pull it out. as soon as hyungwon opened the heavy lid, changkyun was crouching next to him and reaching for the small bottles with different tags hanging from their necks. changkyun touched them with careful fingers, curious and excitable — a boy that had just stumbled upon a new world.

 

          “there are so many different herbs and plants i can’t make use of because they don’t grow anywhere close to our kingdom,” changkyun started to explain and let himself fall back to sit on the fur covered ground. “some merchants travel close to the borders to pick the most essential ones, but they sell them for a very high price and father isn’t the biggest fan of my profession.” his tone was casual and light — almost forcefully so — and had hyungwon not been studying his profile, he might have missed the twitch of his lips.

 

          “profession? what profession could the second prince be allowed to have?” the closest hyungwon was ever allowed to having a profession was to tend a small portion of their garden and pray with the high priestesses. changkyun didn’t reply right away, but kept fumbling with the different tags and brands on the bottles, opening some and sniffing at others. hyungwon almost considered repeating his question, when the second prince finally turned to face him.

 

          “i’m an alchemist in training.” there was a tension around the corners of his lips, between his brows. hyungwon thought the younger prince looked almost daring, as if he was waiting for him to say something negative, to mock him, or possibly ridicule. changkyun might not have come to hyungwon’s room just to snoop around and it occurred to him that the two of them might have more in common than he thought. his own face relaxed upon the newly revealed information and while changkyun still seemed guarded, he looked mostly expectant.

 

          “i’ve never met an alchemist, only healers. we have them, too — in the south. but they’re rather rare.” hyungwon said and watched the last bit of tension bleed away from changkyun’s face. he looked even younger then, more round faced, more vulnerable, as he placed the bottles carefully back inside the wooden box.

 

          “there are a handful of alchemists in the court, but we don’t really have healers in the north. we don’t have any people that are blessed by any supposed gods.” _supposed_  hurt. hyungwon tried not to frown, but felt the urge to clasp his hands together. he had been made aware that northerners didn’t have temples, nor high priestesses. they didn’t believe in the gods his people prayed to, but he had never actually stopped to wonder why that was. the king had respected the wish of hyungwon’s mother and allowed her son to marry before the gods instead of waiting for hyungwon to be sent over and married in the north. they were allowed to hold a ceremony and for that hyungwon was grateful, but he could imagine it to have been his last religious event he would be able to partake in in a long time. changkyun’s tone seemed almost haughty, arrogant and derisive and the younger prince must have come to the same realisation because he looked away and cleared his throat before continuing.

          “father isn’t very happy about me wanting to study alchemy instead of politics and war tactics like minhyuk. he finally allowed me to start my education last year, but only after i finished my basic education in fighting.” listening to changkyun’s heavy, northern accent curl around the common tongue so carefully was like watching a bird bounce about a thin branch and scoot closer to the worm it wanted to devour. it got more erratic and rapid with each flutter of wings, almost nervous and overzealous as it approached its set goal. for changkyun, that set goal came after a prolonged exhale and ducking his head to hide the pink state of his cheeks, while simultaneously exposing the flushed state of his nape.

 

          “what you said before… about not wanting to use weapons—“ his mouth hung open and hyungwon sat silent and still for a few seconds before leaning his upper body closer and angling his head in invitation. it felt like he was watching a puzzle fall into place, or a flower bloom, and hyungwon held his breath as he waited for the younger prince to finish. “father likes to hold onto old traditions and thinks that we all must constantly be ready because of the summoners and their beasts and war with the south, but i’ve been reading a lot and i stumbled upon some texts that are quite old that talked about peace and laying down weapons in favour of coming together.” changkyun spoke in a rushed, hushed voice and had hyungwon not leaned closer he could have missed what he had been saying. his rambling didn’t stop but hyungwon’s head was still trying to wrap around a small detail of what he had said. a similar word to what minhyuk used before was being mentioned again and hyungwon found himself whispering it inside his head like trying to recall a long forgotten and foggy memory. _summoners_. “i didn’t like being taught how to fight, i always thought alchemy and science were superior to swinging around a sword, but father wouldn’t listen to me, he always cut me off and—“   

 

          “— wait, please, wait a moment.” changkyun’s mouth snapped shut when hyungwon raised a slim hand to silence him. from somewhere further away, hyungwon could hear the slow, thudding approach of footsteps and in a hurry, he grabbed at changkyun’s arm and whispered, “what do you mean because of the summoners and their beasts? summoners haven’t existed since the dark ages and even then, it’s not certain if they were real or simply made up. you aren’t really saying there are still people like that out there, right?” a silence stretched between them, but instead of answering, changkyun simply stared at him, wide eyed and bemused.

 

          “don’t you know?”

 

          “know what?” hyungwon’s voice was pitched oddly with the frustration and puzzlement weighing heavy on the tip of his tongue. “what am i supposed to kn—“ the door was quite suddenly pushed open and out of pure reflex hyungwon released the other prince’s arm and moved back. the action wasn’t fast enough to not be caught by the maid who was staring at them with a pale face and poorly hidden worry.

 

          “your majesty, you’re not supposed to be in here.” changkyun was on his feet even before the maid had grabbed him and tugged him out of the room. the other prince looked over his shoulder and his smile looked as small and unsure as hyungwon’s felt. the maid hissed something in their language before urging changkyun out of the room and closing the door. hyungwon busied himself with closing the box in order to avoid making eye contact with the older woman, but even without any sort of permission, she stepped closer until she was directly in front of him.

 

          “your highness,” she started, her voice was more polite and neutral, “i’m to bring you dinner in a bit and once you’ve eaten, we will assist you in taking a bath and preparing you for tonight. would that be agreeable with you?” his hands were clasped delicately and placed atop his lap; hyungwon took a few moments to breathe deep and calm his racing heart, like a child caught lying and trying to get away with it, before he looked up to meet the woman’s eyes.  

 

he was sure that he had kept his expression neutral and void of anything that could have betrayed his thoughts, but when their eyes finally met, her smile became saccharine sweet and forced.

          “there is no need to worry, your highness. your wedding night is something to celebrate. you’ll officially be a member of the royal family afterwards.”

 

hyungwon simply grit his teeth and tried to push aside the bitterness over having to spread his legs to have any worth or say within the royal household.

 

*

 

they used a soft, large brush to wash his skin, scrub at it until it was burning and aching and pink. the water was scalding hot and hyungwon hadn’t stopped gritting his teeth since the maid first arrived. there was no point in feeling shame when he stepped out of the tub, when the maids started rubbing ointments and oils into his skin, using up too much of his precious bottles with cruel and hurried hands, only to leave him smelling like meadow of wild flowers.

 

his room had been heated, more wood hurled at the hungry flames to make sure he wouldn’t freeze while they got him ready and dressed him in soft, thin silk. clothed in something that resembled a robe more than a garment and exposed his neck and collarbones, they rubbed red colour onto the apples of his cheeks and lips, the oldest maid only meeting his eye long enough to say, “smile, your highness.” how many times had it been that someone had told him to smile when he felt like anything but? his hands and knees were shivering; a tremor that only grew worse when the oldest maid pulled on his arm and ushered him out of his room and into the bleak and grey corridor. the cold stone quickly cooled down his warm skin with hyungwon having nothing but the flimsy material of his robe to conceal his skin.

 

they led him along foreign hallways and along a winding staircase, reaching higher even than his own room, before finally coming to a halt in front of a vast, winged door that was pulled open by two of the maids. hyungwon’s body was still, immobile; he wouldn’t have entered had it not been for the hands on his shoulders that pushed him inside. the doors fell shut behind him with a loud creak and a sense of finality.

 

minhyuk’s room was larger even than his own; the ceiling was higher, more windows lining the eastern and southern walls. gold threads and red velvet decorated the rich interior, a portrait of a youthful and bright eyed prince hanging above the crackling fireplace. it was warm inside, as warm as his own room had been, but hyungwon couldn’t stop shivering. with wobbly knees and hesitant steps, he walked towards the foot of the bed and took a seat at the very edge of it, his hands clasped together on his lap and head lowered in modesty. the sheets he was sitting on were pure white and thin cotton, with delicate and intricate lace worked into it. just for one night, just for that one special occasion.

 

hyungwon’s toes curled in the fur beneath his feet and a heartbeat later, the heavy doors creaked once more — opening, falling shut and then silence. there was no need to check who had entered and as instructed, hyungwon kept his head lowered until pale, bare feet came to a halt right in front of him.

 

          “you look beautiful.” minhyuk spoke softly and kindly, but hyungwon could only choke on the lump that was caught in his throat and keep his head lowered. he didn’t know what to say and didn’t dare to speak out of fear over choking out something much worse than just words. his chest was moving rapidly, his breathing shallow. hyungwon was the hare that was running desperately and minhyuk was the fox that had finally caught up with him.

 

the crown prince moved closer — one small step, then another — and reached out. warm fingers touched beneath his chin and gently, tenderly ( _too soft, too intimate_ ) urged him to tilt his head back. hyungwon did, reluctantly, not understanding why minhyuk couldn’t simply undress and him and push him onto the bed and get it over and done with. he moved slow and careful, his face carrying all the patience in the world while hyungwon felt his eyes beginning to water and lips starting to quiver. it wasn’t his intention to show such weakness, it wasn’t his intention to crumble like brittle walls when minhyuk ran his thumb along his red bottom lip, but he didn’t want this. he didn’t want to be a part of this moment and couldn’t bring himself to act dignified, no matter how much preparation they had put him through.

 

for once, minhyuk was clad in black; a black robe and long black jacket that showed off the pale planes of his protruding collarbones and almost reached the bottom of his breastbone. he looked cold and pale, like death. ironically fitting for the occasion, in hyungwon’s mind, to whom what he would have to go through felt much worse than dying.

 

his fingers twisted in the silk of his robe, knuckles white and tense. minhyuk leaned in, bent his body at the waist to bring his face closer to hyungwon’s and press a single, chaste kiss against his plush lips. he always looked so cold — minhyuk looked like the planes of snow hyungwon had seen from the mountain top, he looked like a meadow covered in snow, but every touch of his skin felt burning hot. his mouth was warm and pliant and remained pressed against hyungwon’s pinched and quivering lips for a lingering second.

 

hyungwon had never been kissed before. he thought about kissing hoseok, had laid awake and touched his own lips and imagined what it feel like. he had stared at hoseok’s pink mouth and wished to cover the distance between them and he had wished for his first kiss to be at night, under the full moon that hung low over the dark waves of the sea. in his fantasy there was summer heat and a flutter to his chest that was love and promised a happy ever after.

 

in reality, none of that was the case.

 

minhyuk’s lips kissed the edge of his mouth and the apple of his cheek, down to his jaw and the side of his neck. hyungwon was stiff and frozen in place, but his lips parted to exhale a shuddering breath, eyes squeezing shut with an effort to not push and fight back. it didn’t feel horrible, but it was unwanted and hyungwon couldn’t let go of that thought and couldn’t let go of the promise of pain that was to come.

 

the crown prince wasn’t rushing. he traced hyungwon’s throat with the back of his fingers, let them wander across his collarbones and push the loose material of his robe to the side, exposing his shoulder. his lips followed the same path before coming to a stop at the protruding bone on top of his shoulder.

 

          “i told you i’d take care of you, did i not?” hot breath fanned against his exposed skin and hyungwon finally forced his eyes open to meet minhyuk’s. even in the dim light of the room, hyungwon could see the glint in them. the angles of his face looked more sharp, more strict and ready to cut his own, soft skin, but against all expectations, minhyuk pulled back slightly and reached to take hyungwon’s clammy hands in his own.

 

he smiled with his mouth open and his fingers squeezing hyungwon’s in reassurance and his already racing heart skipped a single beat. hyungwon tried to remain tense and to focus on what happened hours ago, how minhyuk simply walked out of the room and left hyungwon all alone without a single word. his actions hadn’t been trustful, then. he thought back to his conversation with changkyun and how he exposed more than minhyuk did after the attack in the forest. with all his might, hyungwon tried to focus on how minhyuk kept things from him, sly like a fox and secretive, making decisions over his head. hyungwon thought about the moment where he stood in front of the king and was told that none of his words would weigh over minhyuk’s final one and told himself to remain stubborn and firm.

 

then minhyuk brought his hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles, each of them adorned with a kiss as soft as a grazing feather over velvet petals and something within him melted. he no longer felt the teetering edge of panic that made his chest contract painfully and minhyuk must have felt it too.

 

          “will you trust me, hyungwon?” the ‘no’ was automatic and on the tip of his tongue and hyungwon paused. minhyuk’s thumb was still softly tracing over the back of his hand and hyungwon found himself nodding before he could decide that it was a bad decision to trust anyone from the north.

 

          “speak up, please.”

 

          “i trust you.” hyungwon whispered, breathless.

 

with hyungwon’s hands still delicately clasped in his, the crown prince lowered himself onto his knees right in front of him.

 

          “your majesty, what are you doing?” hyungwon asked in confusion, the title he was encouraged to drop slipping out despite their solitude.

 

          “i am not going to take you tonight,” the crown prince started. “you’re as pale as the sheets you’re sitting on and your whole body is quaking. i’m not an animal and i don’t enjoy putting others through pain and suffering. i realise that you’re scared and not yet ready, so i plan to lie about what happens between us tonight. i will, however, need your help in making it believable. do you understand so far?” confusion still lingered in his mind, but hyungwon found himself nodding slowly. “the maids are going to help you wash again in the morning, to confirm that you have been touched. i’m going to leave a few marks on your skin. the red from your lips stains beautifully, but i will also need to leave a few longer lasting marks with my mouth. will you let me do that?”

 

a few hours ago, hyungwon had felt like minhyuk abandoned him. a few hours ago he had felt all alone and disappointed. no one seemed to be on his side and no one understood him. changkyun had been a surprise and hyungwon was beyond thankful that the younger prince had dared to speak up and open up, but he hadn’t thought it possible that minhyuk would try to help him out. not after his back had seemed so cold and indifferent when he walked away.

 

yet that was a few hours ago and now minhyuk was on his knees, asking for permission to touch him and mark him, his thumb still caressing over the back of hyungwon’s hands and in that moment hyungwon felt undeniably and inexplicably safe.

 

          “be— please, be gentle.” minhyuk laughed, a sound that seemed to vibrate deep in his chest and slid over hyungwon’s skin like velvet.

 

          “i would never even dream of being anything else.” he released hyungwon’s hands and reached for his right ankle instead. his fingers were warm, curled around the bone carefully and hyungwon watched with fascination and sudden butterflies that had sprouted in his chest, as minhyuk brought it closer to his lips. the kiss left behind a light tint of red — hyungwon realised then that must have been the reason for their kiss in the first place — and a trail of goosebumps along his arms. again, minhyuk didn’t stop there, but used his second hand to nudge hyungwon’s legs apart slightly, before continuing to trail butterfly kisses up the inside of his calf.

 

heat was rising to his face, spreading across his throat and chest. the embarrassment and warmth that each shift of minhyuk’s lips brought with them, left him feeling nervous for reasons much different from before. what they had taught him in lessons was that he was supposed to expect pain whenever the crown prince would touch him. he was told to lay still, not be loud and close his eyes. _if you need to hold onto something, use the sheets, don’t touch the crown prince_ , they had said, successfully painting a picture much more cruel and terrifying than the truth.

 

 _the northerns are bloodthirsty beasts_.

 

one of those beasts was kneeling on the ground and kissing his feet, like a lowly servant, his fingers kneading gently against hyungwon’s tensed muscles and melting away the fear that had been so deeply ingrained in him. minhyuk’s eyes never left his and his stare was as sharp and intense as ever, but within it hyungwon found attentiveness and compassion.

 

          “relax, don’t be afraid,” minhyuk whispered, his breath fanning out against the inside of hyungwon’s knee. his own breath was stuttering and fingers curling into the sheets next to him as minhyuk pressed a hand against his thighs and nudged them apart as far as hyungwon would allow it — which wasn’t much at all. he was still shy and what minhyuk was doing to him was still much, much more than anyone had ever done before.

 

the previously feather light and chaste kisses turned lingering and hyungwon couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped him when minhyuk pulled hyungwon’s leg over his shoulder. one open mouthed kiss was placed against the inside of his thigh before minhyuk’s eyes fell shut and hyungwon felt blunt teeth grace his skin. the loose grip minhyuk’s hand had on his other leg tightened slightly, the crown prince’s brows knitting together. hyungwon felt like the string of a bow — pulled tight and about to release.

 

his release followed when the light and gentle nips turned into sucking, licking and hyungwon found it impossible to sit still anymore. stiff fingers uncurled from the material of the sheets and reached out to grasp two loose fistfuls of minhyuk’s red hair. it was surprisingly soft and hyungwon found himself at a loss between pushing the crown prince away and keeping him in place, keeping his lips in place. when he dreamed of kissing hoseok, he had never imagined or thought about what other things could be done with a pair of lips and a warm tongue, yet minhyuk opened up his eyes and left blooming spots of purple and red on his skin.

 

shivers ran along his spine, but hyungwon didn’t feel cold anymore. a warmth had spread into each limb of his body, through tingles that vaguely reminded him off all the times he had to sit still for too long after which his leg always fell asleep. only the tingles he felt now didn’t feel like anything that could be shaken away, not when minhyuk’s mouth continued on its path upwards and hyungwon’s tense body melted into his touch.

 

minhyuk’s fingers were steady but quick and he reached out blindly, unclasping the belt that had been used to tie the flimsy robe together. hyungwon fought the urge to shy away, but there was no way of avoiding minhyuk when he was still between his legs, unfolding the robe, tugging sharply on hyungwon’s thighs until his body fell back against the sheets and he was staring at the high reaching ceiling. minhyuk pulled away, his hands releasing their hold on hyungwon’s thighs just as hyungwon’s own fingers uncurled from between red strands of hair. the rustling of fabric followed and hyungwon’s gaze remained firmly trained on what was above him, until the moment minhyuk leaned over him again.

 

he was bare from the waist up, his breath quick, but hands slow as they wandered from hyungwon’s thighs, over his hips and pushed the fabric of his robe aside when they finally settled on his waist.

          “are you alright, my peony?” minhyuk’s voice sounded more husky than he had ever heard it before, with an edge of something he couldn’t quite place. hyungwon felt slightly drunk, without having had a single drop of alcohol. he felt minhyuk’s hands nudge his body up as soon as he mumbled his confirmation and lifted himself onto his elbows to scoot towards the middle of the bed. the robe slipped from his shoulders and he saw minhyuk’s eyes flicker over the newly exposed skin. another wave of dizziness overtook him.

 

minhyuk was back between his thighs and pressing wet kisses against the protruding bone of his hips. it was tethering on the edge of too much, too overwhelming and hyungwon was entirely too thankful for minhyuk’s hands keeping him in place, as he wasn’t sure anymore whether to try to shy away or move closer. the trail of bruises minhyuk left behind with his mouth continued from his hips and up his chest and hyungwon only realised that he was panting and breathless when minhyuk’s lips pressed against the end of his sternum.

 

his hot touch had grown hotter and hyungwon could see the flush that had spread on minhyuk’s face. he almost expected him to go back on his word and rip the robe away completely, have it his way anyway, when the rushed kisses and hickeys stopped abruptly. his touch turned lighter again, more gentle as he nosed along hyungwon’s breastbone — inhaled long and deep and released a shuddering breath that made something in hyungwon’s stomach flip.

 

          “you smell divine.” one hand slid along the side of his chest, fingers tracing over his shoulder and down his arm. minhyuk’s body shifted, too, until they were face to face and he could place a peck against hyungwon’s chin. a tiny smile had returned to his lips, but his pupils were blown and dazed, like those of a drunken man. “i hope you weren’t scared. was i gentle?”

 

hyungwon reached out, brushed the back of his fingers over the burning skin of minhyuk’s cheek. he smiled like a boy and up close, with the lights burning low and his pale face blotchy and pink, he looked nothing like a sly, evil fox.

          “you were,” hyungwon said and he meant it. he didn’t know what his own face looked like and didn’t have time to wonder about how much of himself he allowed to shine through, how vulnerable he presented himself to be, when minhyuk leaned in again and pressed the softest of kisses against the tip of his nose. minhyuk met hyungwon’s eyes, took one of hyungwon’s hands and caught it between his own chest and hand.

 

          “from now on, until the end of our days, i promise to be yours.” everything about the night was too much. minhyuk’s voice was too sincere, his words were too intimate, his touch was too gentle, his smile too sweet and hyungwon’s chest suddenly too tight for his heart. it left him breathless and silent. minhyuk didn’t seem to be waiting of a reply and simply leaned in again to press another kiss against his forehead and a last one against his closed lids.

 

he still felt the ghost of those lips against his face, later on, when he lay awake in bed and stared at the barely visible lines of minhyuk’s sleeping face. they could be friends, he decided then. minhyuk could be trusted and hyungwon could see them growing close. despite everything, the north _could_  become his home.

 

with those thoughts in mind, hyungwon clasped his hands together in front of his stained mouth and whispered his gratitude into the silence of the room. he didn’t need a sign to know that the goddess had heard him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter it’s the sunflower: Sunflower signifies pure thoughts. It symbolises adoration and dedication. It is symbolic of dedicated love. It is however also symbolic of haughtiness.
> 
> update: i forgot to mention the flower that hoseok gave him in the beginning so i'll add the meaning here! Amaryllis: This flower is symbolic of splendid beauty. It is also used to indicate worth beyond beauty.


	6. snapdragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a beast attacks again and hyungwon needs to face the impending archery lesson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope after this ch everyone loves minhyuk as much as i do bc Wow do i love this boy

the snow covering the small, barren garden behind the castle was sparkling brightly against the rays of the early morning sun. hyungwon exhaled wisps of white as he crouched and watched a tiny, brown bird peck at the few grains he had managed to steal from the kitchen. its song was anything but melodious; a soft and sudden ‘tschick’, a tilt of the tiny head before its pointy and long beak picked at the dry grains of wheat.

 

          “do you think now that we fed it, it will come again?” jooheon sounded thoughtful and when hyungwon glanced at him, he saw the servant purse his lips.

 

          “it’s a bird, jooheon. we can’t turn it into a pet.”

 

it had been more than a week since he left his home. it had been five days since he arrived at the castle of the northern kingdom. ( it had also been four days since he spent a night together with the crown prince and while the bruised marks had begun to fade, hyungwon could still draw along the edges of each of them while he was sitting in the bath. the memories they stirred felt like a dazed, stifling, drunken heat hid behind a blurry veil. they hadn’t spoken a single word about it and when hyungwon was woken up the next day by the same maids that had dressed him, he found himself in bed alone. )

 

          “what about message birds? they might have a function but they’re like pets.” jooheon continued to question, seemingly pensive and invested in the topic.

 

          “i think it’s cruel to keep birds in a cage.” was his simple reply before he turned back to the tiny bird.

 

hyungwon hadn’t seen minhyuk since lunch the previous day. it was obvious that the crown prince had a lot of duties to tend to and wouldn’t have time to entertain his spouse and his whimsies. jooheon, on the other hand, seemed more than overjoyed to have someone his age around. hyungwon had written letters and read and spend his days exploring the parts of the castle he was allowed to visit, together with his manservant. he hadn’t managed to catch a glimpse of the younger prince again, but from the reaction of the maid who found them, it appeared as if changkyun and him weren’t supposed to interact.

 

after getting a visit from the court physician last evening, it was decided that hyungwon would be allowed to leave the castle for short periods of time throughout the day and impatient as he was, after being cooped inside for so long, hyungwon had asked to be woken up as early as possible to go for a walk. he was still shivering slightly, despite the thick boots and fur coat he was cloaked in, but the cold he could feel brushing his pink cheeks was worth it, if he got to inhale the crisp air of the north.

 

          “is this the same as you not wanting to eat meat?” jooheon asked. hyungwon watched the bird pick at the last grain before flying off. he didn’t answer the question right away but exhaled a prolonged sigh before pushing himself onto his feet. his manservant followed a moment after, though hyungwon had already started on the path around the garden.

 

          “i suppose it’s similar to that,” he started. he and jooheon had never actually talked about religion and his own morals and beliefs. jooheon had told him plenty of things about the north, but had always tip toed slightly, careful and cautious not to overstep boundaries, before asking hyungwon any questions in return. it was nice to talk to him about it, now that they weren’t in a rattling carriage and surrounded by guards and other staff. he waited for jooheon to catch up and fall into step next to him before proceeding to explain. “in the south, we have a very strong bond with the gods. one of those gods connects us with nature and it is frowned upon to kill unnecessarily. we have soldiers as well, but only a portion of the kingdom is trained to fight. my older brother was trained to fight because he is going to be king one day, but he is one of the most gentle and kind people i know.”

 

hyungwon missed him. oddly enough, he found himself missing the very same person he had spend so many years holding a grudge against, yet now that he found himself so far away from the comforts of his home, his brother’s careless smile and warm presence left behind a palpable void.

          “and i believe that every living thing should be treated with care. simply killing and destroying without batting an eyelash would mean you put your own worth above whatever it is you have diminished. but be it a flower, or a butterfly, or a bear or a horse; all living things deserve to follow their own paths without humans disrupting them. to cage a bird would mean to take away their ability to fly, treat them like a thing, like a possession, which they are not.” finally, he turned to look at jooheon and saw his manservant staring at the ground, eyes glued to the tips of his shoes. hyungwon didn’t expect him to agree, or suddenly have a change of heart, but jooheon had asked and hyungwon had given him his answer. whether he liked and agreed with said answer or not was a completely different thing.

 

          “but—“ the ‘but’ surprised him, no matter how soft and careful it was. jooheon was frowning, still looking at his shoes and refusing to meet hyungwon’s eyes. “ideally, it would be like that. ideally, we wouldn’t have to kill animals to survive and we wouldn’t have to kill others to defend ourselves, but we have little choice in what to eat, we have little choice in how to keep warm and when someone attacks us, what else are we supposed to do than fight back?” as he talked, jooheon’s voice got more upset and eventually he turned to look at hyungwon. “it’s unfair of you to talk like what we’re doing is wrong and like it makes us into bad people when what we’re doing has a reason. of course, i’d rather kill a fox than freeze to death in the cold winter. that doesn’t make me a bad person.”

 

          “it doesn’t.” hyungwon hurried to agree and reached out to curl and arm around jooheon’s shoulders. “it doesn’t make you a bad person, but to us, in the south, where we have the options to do either or, it seems like the wrong thing to do to act the same way people here do. we don’t have to kill animals, so we don’t. i understand why things are harder and different here, but only because some people kill animals and burn trees and trample flowers, doesn’t mean that everyone should do it. if everyone did it, what would be left of our world?”

 

          “i suppose that makes sense.” jooheon mumbled, his shoulders relaxing. he shot hyungwon a quick smile; it was reassurance he was trying to portray — that they were fine, that he wasn’t hurt or angry — and hyungwon felt his chest swell with gratefulness. he returned the smile and tugged the other boy closer, about to part his lips and open up another, more mild topic of conversation, when the sound of a growl made his blood run cold and body freeze. he watched jooheon’s expression slip from his face and slowly turned his head in the direction of the sound.

 

as if his nightmare had been brought back to life, there stood a wolf-like beast. the same colour as the one hyungwon had met many days ago, the same eyes. bigger than a wolf and grey like thick, dark smoke. its eyes were focused on hyungwon and minhyuk’s words were a dreaded whisper inside his mind. _someone is targeting you_. but how had that someone managed to breach the walls of the castle? how had they managed to bring a giant beast through the gates without getting noticed? nothing surrounded the garden except thick walls and the steep edge of the hill upon which the castle stood.  

 

the beast growled again, lowering its head and flashing sharp teeth in warning. the action seemed to rattle jooheon and bring him into motion because suddenly he was ducking and slipping from hyungwon’s hold and, to his surprise, pulled a long, thin dagger out of his right boot.

          “when i say run, you have to run, your highness.” jooheon whispered. his eyes were focused on the beast, but his hands were shaking the slightest bit. “you have to run and call for the guards, i’ll protect you. it won’t get past me.” as if to make his point clear, he curled his fingers around hyungwon’s arm and tugged his body back. he had placed himself between the prince and the beast and hyungwon cursed his own body for remaining stiff and numb.

 

as soon as he were to start running the beast would come chasing him and it wouldn’t hesitate to go through jooheon. as sure of himself as the servant might have seemed, hyungwon knew that he stood no chance, nor was he planning to take the risk. jooheon had to know that, yet the boy was trying to be stupidly brave and probably ready to sacrifice himself to make up for not being there the last time. as if he could have changed anything, even if he had been there.

 

          “it’s after me, jooheon. not you.” hyungwon hissed. “you stand no chance against it and i’m not risking you getting hurt. i’m not leaving you behind to run away.” the garden was bare except for a handful of old pine trees, most of which had thin branches that looked anything but steady. the last time hyungwon had encountered the beast he was rendered mostly immobile and slow and while he could feel nausea settle in his stomach, together with the memory of blood and the scent of decay, he knew that he couldn’t simply freeze and wait to be saved this time. he wouldn’t allow any harm to come to his manservant.

 

          “jooheon, this is a command.” the beast was starting to inch closer on careful, but heavy feet and hyungwon could feel adrenaline pump blood through his veins, make it rush into his ears. his fingers were shaking as he hurried to unclasp the heavy coat from his shoulders. “run and get help. now!” he didn’t wait to check if jooheon actually followed through with what he was saying before pushing the heavy fur off his shoulders and sprinting across gravel and the muddy field that stretched before them.

 

as expected, a loud growl and the powerful thud of the beast’s paws connecting to the wet soil and thin layer of fresh snow followed him close on his heels. he had never been a fighter, but running through mud and snow was no harder than running barefoot over hot sand in blazing heat. the wind was whipping at his clothes and quickly turning the tip of his nose and ears numb with cold. it wasn’t easy to sprint in the boots he was wearing and while hyungwon wished he could have taken them off, there was no time for that. somewhere behind him he could hear the subtle murmur of voices, but his own heart was thudding so loudly, his panting breaths too dominant a sound to recognise anything that was going on.

 

the pine tree closest to him didn’t look the sturdiest, but hyungwon had to take his chances. he jumped, one foot pushing off the trunk and body turning to grab the branch above him. the outer layer of the wood felt brittle and frayed as it pushed into his skin. he caught the blurry edges of dark fur from the corner of his eyes, heard the snarl so dangerously close behind his back as he curled his legs around the branch he was clinging to and pulled himself up. his muscles were already burning, legs itching and shaking from the cold and the sudden use of muscles that had been resting for too many weeks. his arms felt weak, trembled as he stretched them out to climb higher. the branch beneath his feet was shaking dangerously, bending too low and when hyungwon glanced down, he could see the beast push itself up onto its hinder legs and snap its snout upwards.

 

heaving himself onto the second branch was much harder, once he noticed how tired his muscles were and how the cold was biting at his skin. pieces of wood had been caught in the tender skin of his hands, too soft from the careful treatment he had been subjected to during his wedding preparations. the thin material of his sleeves got caught somewhere, now sprouting a thin rip that caught his attention as he curled close to the tree trunk and wrapped an arm around his knees. the beast was still roaming about beneath him, growling and trying to jump up the tree trunk. it hadn’t even spared jooheon a glance, which only further confirmed minhyuk’s initial theory that someone had sent the monster after him. there were a few reasons hyungwon could think of; he was the prince of the south, someone could have wished him to disappear on the road before the marriage could be consummated to prevent the north and the south from fulfilling the peace treaty. yet, the marriage had become official and hyungwon had been in the northern castle for days without a single instance of danger and on his very first day outside, the beast decided to pay him another visit.

 

hyungwon was huffing still, his chest too small for his heart and breaths leaving his lips in small, short puffs. he found his muscles shaking with effort now that his body had found rest, but the beast appeared relentless, still trying to grab at the lowest branch.

 

          “what do you want from me?” hyungwon asked, but he sounded breathless and shaky and his voice must have gotten lost in the whistle of the wind. “who sent you?” he spoke louder this time and watched the beast’s ears perk and the pale eyes glint.

 

what happened next, hyungwon couldn’t explain. the growling stopped and instead the animal released a whine and angled its head back, once, twice, and hyungwon sat there watching in absolute puzzlement. the motion seemed almost beckoning, like the beast was trying to get him to climb back down and follow. after he had been chased the way he had, hyungwon wouldn’t have ever listened to the sly call, but the gesture seemed oddly intelligent for such a gruesome animal.

          “what are you?” it was only a whisper this time. the beast stood frozen for a moment, like it was waiting for more to come from hyungwon’s side, when an arrow suddenly hit its flank. the beast yowled pitifully and hyungwon could feel his heart clench painfully. the image of the beheaded animal and the sensation of warm, sticky blood all over him was still fresh in his mind — only now the animal didn’t bleed.

 

          “your highness!” jooheon’s voice pulled his attention towards his manservant who stood, tense as the drawn string of the bow he was holding, looking nothing like a boy and every bit like a trained warrior. hyungwon immediately decided that the dangerously focused look didn’t become him.

 

          “i’m unharmed!” hyungwon called back. the guards that jooheon had brought with him were plenty and all of them were approaching slowly, inching closer to the dangerous beast that had started growling once more. it had clearly grown defensive, with its ears pressed against the silver-grey head and teeth flashing pearlescent and pale. there was no way for it to escape with its back pressed against the trunk of the tree and the guards approaching — it left hyungwon a single second to wonder if he was too terrified for his own life last time, to notice how wrong all of that felt.

 

the guards raised their swords and the beast looked up and met hyungwon’s eyes one last time. a shiver went down his spine almost at the same time as the beast turned into smoke and vanished, moments before the sharp blade of a sword was about to strike it.

 

*

 

          “i promise, i’m unharmed.” hyungwon repeated for the ninth time that day. it wasn’t even midday, yet the whole court was in an uproar. the king was apparently enraged that a beast had managed to penetrate the walls of his castles without being noticed, while the soldiers were rushing about and trying to find the blind spot. jooheon hadn’t left his side since hyungwon’s shaky limbs had led him back to the ground. his fur coat had been draped around his shoulders and jooheon’s warm hands led him back inside and into his room. it was only minutes later that minhyuk had arrived, panting and with beads of sweat collecting at his temple and forehead.

 

he had asked to be caught up on what had happened right away while the court physician tended the small scratches on hyungwon’s hands and removed the splinters that were stuck in his palms. hyungwon had apparently looked too pale and shaken so jooheon explained his side of the events first, which left minhyuk mostly silent. the crown prince sat on the wooden chair at hyungwon’s study table, clad only in a white shirt and bent forward in interest. he kept his hands folded in front of his mouth the whole time, which made hyungwon realise that reading him was, similar to the king, much harder without seeing his lips. his eyes were focused and stoic as so often and the protruding bones of his cheeks tended to make him look more intimidating than he actually was.

 

only when the court physician was finished tending to hyungwon’s hands and excused himself to leave the room, did minhyuk shift in his seat and lean back. finally his hands fell away only to expose a tense mouth, with his lips pressed into a thin line.

 

jooheon came to sit down next to him and the comforting and familiar presence of his manservant made the pressing tension that had filled the room feel a bit lighter. he reached for one of hyungwon’s hands, careful as he turned it and placed it on top of his own thigh. there were unspoken words that lingered between them and had it not been for minhyuk’s presence, hyungwon would have turned to reassure jooheon that he did everything right.

 

          “hyungwon,” he turned back towards minhyuk and watched him come to a stand with a sigh before approaching, “i know what you told my father, i remember. i know how much it means to you to remain true to your roots, but you might not always be lucky enough to have a tree to climb on when some beast appears and attacks.”

 

          “i was trying to give jooheon the possibility to escape without being caught myself.” hyungwon interrupted, frowning. minhyuk seemed cautious about how to approach the topic, but hyungwon wanted him to know that the reason he survived wasn’t sheer, dumb luck alone.

 

          “yes, i realise this and you did well, but if both of you had been armed—“

 

          “if i had been armed, i would have been armed with a dagger, same as jooheon. that wouldn’t have done anything against a beast like that. i may not know how to fight, but even i know that bringing a short dagger into close proximity of a mouth that sharp endangers your limbs more than it endangers the beast.” minhyuk’s mouth snapped shut and hyungwon watched him inhale and exhale slowly. he could see that the crown prince was trying hard to control what he was saying and while hyungwon appreciated it, he wasn’t going to give in without arguing. not about this. “even if you were to train me to fight with bow and arrow, do you expect me to always carry them around with me? jooheon is trained in wielding them and he was helpless too in that situation.”

 

          “jooheon was helpless because none of us had expected a beast to be summoned within the castle grounds. usually summoners have to stay close by when summoning their beasts, so the person who did that must have been close by.” that was the first time that minhyuk had mentioned summoners and beasts like a thing of certainty and not a possibility born of whispered rumours.

 

          “and how does me knowing how to shoot an arrow make me any more safe in that situation? if there really is a— a summoner, or whatever they may be, on the castle grounds then how does knowing how to wield a weapon i won’t always be carrying around and a short dagger be of any help for me?”

 

          “please!” minhyuk finally snapped, his voice hoarse but volume raised. next to him, jooheon was shifting uncomfortably. hyungwon carefully pressed his lips into a thin line and crossed his arms, but didn’t say a word and waited for minhyuk to continue. “please, for my sake. for me to be more at ease when i can’t be around you, please just let me teach you some things. this isn’t about you becoming a soldier, i just want you to be able to defend yourself if worse comes to worse.”

 

a silence settled between them, where neither broke eye contact before hyungwon exhaled audibly through his nose and rolled his shoulders.

          “even if i had the weapons and could defend myself, what makes you think i would kill?”

 

          “when you find yourself faced with a ferocious beast like that again and it comes down to your life or that of the beast, you will kill it.” the crown prince spoke, much more soft and much more final.

 

          “i don’t believe that the beast wanted to kill me.” hyungwon confessed. jooheon, who had been silently staring at the top of his knees while they were arguing, turned to stare at him with widened eyes.

 

          “what?” minhyuk’s voice was close to a laugh and it hurt to hear the hint of ridicule in it. “hyungwon, it was about to rip your head off the last time. it was chasing you this time. i know your gods make you believe that everyone is connected with nature, but those _things_  aren’t part of nature. they’re monsters. same as the people who create them. and now that you aren’t under your safe glass bell anymore, those people are coming after you.” minhyuk didn’t understand, that much was clear. he didn’t understand, but hyungwon’s thoughts were still jumbled and knotted inside his head, leaving him no chance to actually explain. he kept his mouth shut, instead, and watched the crown prince push long fingers through his hair before he came to stand in front of hyungwon.

 

his hands were as gentle as ever, as gentle as that night, and he cupped hyungwon’s cheeks with the tenderness with which one touched the delicate velvet petals of a flower. the gesture felt oddly intimate, too intimate to be shared in front of jooheon, but that didn’t stop minhyuk from tenderly stroking his thumbs over the apples of hyungwon’s cheeks. they felt warm and flushed. it was impossible for minhyuk not to take note.

 

          “please, little daisy, can’t you see how worried i am about your safety?” it was unfair how that nickname brought back a carefully filed and stored away memory. it was even more unfair how his mind conjured up the image of minhyuk’s flushed face, glowing warm in the light of the candles and so close that hyungwon could feel his breath on his face. a tiny shiver and even more tiny tingles spread through his body at the veiled memory of lips pressed to his skin, warm hands touching his bare thighs.

 

his toes curled, knees pressing together for unexplainable reasons and hyungwon told himself that their night together had shown him that he had to be prepared to compromise.

 

          “i will let you show me some things, but if i absolutely refuse to do it afterwards, i expect you to accept my decision.”

 

*

 

they decided to wait no more than a day before hyungwon found himself dressed in the crown prince’s old practice clothes, leather gloves covering his right hand. the room minhyuk had led him into was long and empty, sans for a target on the other end. the clothes they had put him in were fitting; pants tight and top pressed to his body in a way that made him feel bare. all of his own garments were wide and floating to stay cool, so hyungwon wasn’t used to feeling that exposed.

 

( when he turned his back, it felt like minhyuk was staring, which only served to make him feel more shy, but as soon as he glanced over his shoulder, the crown prince looked obviously busy with preparing the weapon. )

 

          “i made sure the string isn’t too tight so you don’t have to strain too hard.” the crown prince came to stand next to him and corrected hyungwon’s stance. his hands were firm on hyungwon’s shoulders when they pulled them back and angled his body to be parallel with his own. one hand slipped from his shoulder to his hip and hyungwon’s first reaction was to squirm away — those hands were a bit too familiar and hyungwon’s head liked to provide him with fantasies of what could be.

 

( how hyungwon could turn and kiss him again, see if he would feel the same as he did last time, when he was nervous and quivering and wanted to get away. there was no more to it than simple curiosity, but it made hyungwon want to try again and he caught himself flushing in embarrassment and shame at his own thoughts. it was not like him to lose his head and focus because of a boy. when hoseok had left him spending his nights dreaming, but sleepless, hyungwon knew that it was because of love. his heart didn’t pound and flutter for minhyuk, not like it did for hoseok, but a heat spread in the pit of his stomach and licked at his nerve endings and that was a feeling that seemed to be reserved for minhyuk and his close proximity alone. )

 

          “you need to spread your legs a bit.” the crown prince spoke, low and close with his breath fanning against hyungwon’s bared neck, causing goosebumps to raise on his skin. he was noticeable tense, but tried to remain in place and do as told, yet minhyuk made him nervous and turned his body too stiff to move more than a friction.

 

          “a bit— you have to spread them a bit more.” minhyuk repeated again and used the hand on his hip to tap against hyungwon’s protruding hip bone lightly. the action wasn’t harsh or invasive, but hyungwon flinched and rolled his shoulders and stepped away before finally turning to face minhyuk. he looked every bit a startled hare, his cheeks and nape a warm pink. minhyuk raised his hands in surrender and a single awkward second of silence passed before the crown prince cleared his throat and lowered his hands.

          “is something wrong, hyungwon?” the way minhyuk asked it made hyungwon feel incredibly silly. the way minhyuk asked it, it sounded as if he was completely bemused by the situation and what could have turned hyungwon so flustered.

 

          “do you _have_  to stand so close?” hyungwon asked in return, attempting to sound stern.

 

          “yes, i’m helping you get into position.” there was a frown on minhyuk’s face, but the corners of his mouth twitched and there was a glint in his eyes that could only be described as amusement. “why? does it make you nervous?” and within his expression hyungwon saw the same sly fox from before. the one that knew exactly what to say and do to push buttons — except by now hyungwon had learnt that he should see that as bickering and banter and playfulness and not as a threat.

 

          “perhaps it does,” he mumbled in shyness, “after— after that night… you’re simply too close.” it was more honest than he had to be. before minhyuk could lower his head, hyungwon caught sight of a cheshire grin and his thin lips pressing into a thinner line.

 

          “did you think about what we did?” minhyuk asked, but it was obvious that he was keeping his voice forcefully casual. as if the conversation they were having was about the weather, or lunch. he kept his head lowered and went to pick up the bow and one of the arrows before getting into position. he wasn’t wearing the appropriate gear, like hyungwon, was instead still in his usual, white shirt and black pants. the shirt allowed hyungwon to be momentarily distracted by watching the pale collarbones that were always so purposefully visible through the opening in the shirt collar, the straight and broad line of his shoulders as minhyuk took aim at the target. “was that the first time anyone has touched you like that?”

 

he thought back to hoseok and the careful distance that always remained between them. thought of the servants that barely met his eye and the father who always brushed away and refused his touch. would it have been sad to admit that no one aside from his mother had been as touchy with him as jooheon had? and those were only friendly touches, brushing hands and arms together. nothing that could compare to what he and minhyuk had done in the privacy of the crown prince’s room.

          “it was. my life before was as limited as that of a caged bird, but even if it hadn’t been, i knew that i wasn’t allowed to be approached like that by anyone.” he paused. “before we were wed, my teachers made it very clear what i had to expect from my wedding night — only that it was nothing like what they talked about in those lessons.” minhyuk hummed in interest before releasing the arrow. it hit a little off centre from the bull’s eye and hyungwon watched minhyuk exhale before lowering his arm and holding the bow out to him.

 

          “what did they tell you to expect?”

 

          “pain.” hyungwon said. for a moment, he hesitated before taking the bow from minhyuk and getting back into position. the weapon felt heavy in his hands and he was suddenly glad for the distraction minhyuk’s presence provided — it made it harder to think about how what he was being taught was essentially a means to end a life. he attempted to mirror minhyuk’s stance and waited for the crown prince to pass him an arrow before taking aim. although the string had been loosened, hyungwon’s arm shook while attempting to draw the bow. it took a lot of effort and his muscles started burning even before minhyuk’s hands returned to adjust his arm and shoulders.

 

          “you have to hold when you inhale and release when you exhale.” minhyuk mumbled close to his neck.

 

he tried not to think of how the target could be a living being, how the practice lessons could be seen as something worth investing time and energy in and how, ultimately and finally, hyungwon might be forced to succumb to the prince’s wishes anyway.

 

hyungwon started to inhale and his fingers lost their grip on the arrow, releasing it with a start. it didn’t fly nearly as far as minhyuk’s; in fact, the arrow barely reached half of the distance it would have needed to cover for it to hit its mark. with a tiny frown and a barely noticeable, but stubborn purse to his lips, he turned to minhyuk who had the audacity to look sheepish.

 

          “i’ve seen your arms this isn’t exactly surprising. but your arrow was also a premature release — that’s a mistake some beginners make.” he was already reaching to hand hyungwon the next arrow and the younger prince already felt like stopping.

 

          “it feels like i’m wasting both of our time here. obviously i’ve not been willing, but i also appear to be lacking the talent.”

 

          “no one is perfect when they draw their first arrow, come on.” minhyuk urged gently and hyungwon took the next arrow from him and got it into position. “make sure to draw your arm back as far as possible, but don’t raise your elbow and keep it in line with your hips.” hyungwon tried to do as told. despite the reluctance he felt towards handling weapons, he tried to do his best — after all, the king would no doubt question his son about how the lessons went and hyungwon didn’t want to be the talk of the court. no doubt would people whisper about the feeble and incapable prince of flowers. the king had refused to understand that strength could be something other than purely physical and until someone showed him, he probably never would.

 

hyungwon pulled his arm back as far as possible and tried to focus on his breathing. it was strained, naturally, since his whole body was too tense for him to take deep breaths.

 

          “was it painful?” the question barely registered in hyungwon’s mind, as he did his best to keep his focus. “the night with me, i mean.” again, the feathery end of the arrow slipped from his grip and was sent flying straight into the marble ground. hyungwon watched as the wood broke in half and lowered his arms with a resigned sigh. “that was another premature release. if you repeat this a few more times, it might become a bad habit.” minhyuk said, clearly amused. his amusement was easier to bear than any judgement or scorn might have been. after their night together, hyungwon felt as if a door had opened, not only between them, but also in his heart. seeing minhyuk as a friend and someone who could potentially earn his trust had become easier and listening to the lighthearted tone of his voice as hyungwon failed to meet the expectations for something he wished him to learn made him feel at ease.

 

perhaps, that was why, despite the embarrassing topic of the situation, hyungwon found himself relatively calm as he turned to face minhyuk again. his cheeks still felt warm, but the younger prince did this best to hold minhyuk’s strong gaze.

          “it wasn’t painful. you were very kind to me that night and i haven’t shown you my gratitude for it yet, so thank you.” the almost cocky grin that had been on minhyuk’s lips melted away into something softer, the sharp edges to his eyes and cheeks blurring out with soft tenderness.

 

          “i’m glad to hear that. i was dreading that you might not have any experience and when i saw the state you were in, i was almost certain that all you heard were horror stories.” it was a serene moment that settled between them, similar to how hyungwon felt after minhyuk’s gentle hands pulled the silk robe back over his shoulders, tied the ribbon around his waist up and pulled the heavy duvets of his bed over him. hyungwon had watched for another moment as the crown prince pulled a flimsy shirt over his upper body before getting into bed next to him. he left enough space for hyungwon, but didn’t turn his back to him. that night, hyungwon had understood that he had very little of an idea who his spouse actually was.

 

maybe minhyuk had come to a similar realisation, because he took the bow from hyungwon’s hands before taking the freed hand and pulling him along to sit on the ground opposite him. the room was more chilly than most other rooms hyungwon frequented and the tiles were anything but comfortable, yet hyungwon remained seated.

 

          “you looked terrified,” minhyuk explained. “when i came in and you looked at me, your expression looked stricken. i felt like a fox that chased a pure, white hare into its hole.” the crown prince’s long fingers were still loosely curled around his own. they were warm, with small calluses just beneath his first and second knuckles. hyungwon’s eyes were naturally drawn to them, to minhyuk’s pale hand that pulled his own closer and allowed them to rest against minhyuk’s knee. the last time they were alone and sat so close was their very first night in the carriage.

 

          “it’s a prejudice, but my teachers told me men from the north are beasts.” hyungwon whispered. he held his breath for a few moments, as if he was waiting for some sort of reaction from minhyuk. nothing came and slowly, he continued on. “they told me that things wouldn’t be pleasant, but i had to grit my teeth and think of my country and wait for it to be over. i had been prepared for it by them and i had prepared myself, but i failed at hiding my fear and discomfort over all of it.” his eyes followed the trail of minhyuk’s fingers, over his wrists and up his sinewy arms. shyly, like a child sharing a secret, he finally met minhyuk’s eyes and found nothing but curiosity reflected in them.

          “from the beginning, i didn’t expect us to grow close. i suppose i was looking for reasons to place you into the role of the sly fox that was chasing the hare, but since we’ve been wed you’ve shown me great kindness. repeatedly. i understand that part of it must be because you want to be a fair and just king, but at the same time i also can’t help but wonder why you put so much effort in.”

 

it was minhyuk who looked away this time. he took hyungwon’s hand into both of his and stroked the back of it with his thumbs — a repetitive, feathery caress.

          “there are so many bad things in our world. there is so much ruin and pain and death and it depends on the both of us to mend it and stop it. ideally, we’ll both be alive for a long time and watch our kingdoms come together and prosper and, ideally, we will accomplish that by being strong together.” while minhyuk’s eyes, and defences, were lowered, hyungwon took the chance to look at him — actually, truly, look at him. beyond the razor sharp words and the protruding bones and the cool, cold skin and mask. there sat a young man with a heavy weight on his shoulders and he was depending on hyungwon to help him carry it. the thought gripped his lungs in an iron grip and settled over his ribs, heavy as a boulder. many things slipped from the back of his throat to the tip of his tongue, but all of them hyungwon was too hesitant to say out loud.

 

 _you’re not alone_. hyungwon thought, slowly shifting the hand in minhyuk’s hold to press their palms together before enclasping it with his other hand.

 

          “you’re not alone.” he said out loud and gave minhyuk’s hands a squeeze. “you’ll be a great king one day and i’ll be by your side to guide you.” it felt easy to smile and when minhyuk looked up with his eyes the colour of melted chocolate, hyungwon thought he could catch a glimpse of his soul. the iron that had settled around his lungs melted away and when the crown prince mirrored the smile found on his own lips, the boulder crushing his ribs was removed too. “if you’re the sword, i’m going to be the shield.”

 

to his surprise, minhyuk laughed and the sound was warm, like melted honey dripped from his tongue.

          “is that your weapon of choice in the end? not bow and arrow, but shield?”

 

          “it fits me, don’t you think?”

 

          “it’s perfect.” minhyuk replied and everything about him in that moment looked like home.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this week's flower: snapdragon symbolises graciousness and strength. tits negative connotations include deception and presumption
> 
> (also while writing the last scene i noticed that [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtyBBoOUgho) fits them perfectly so it's now become Their song)


	7. anthurium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon learns some truths about the past and the war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all will soak in this last dose of softness before things start getting more serious again, starting with chapter 8. please enjoy uwu

the castle’s library was a vast but gloomy room somewhere in the northernmost wing. they had climbed up a long and winding staircase to reach it, walked along deserted corridors and ultimately arrived at a surprisingly small and compact door. jooheon brought him, but then did his very best to get out of entering with him by making up a wide range of excuses about where else he had to go. the prince was having none of it. hyungwon clasped jooheon’s hand and pulled the servant into the cold room with him.

          “i really, _really_  don’t like being in here.” jooheon whispered, only he managed to make his whisper sound like a whine.  
          “it’s just a room filled with corridors of books, jooheon, nothing is going to happen,” hyungwon replied, but at the same time tightened his grip on the other boy’s hand. the milky windows in the library were small and high up, casting everything in the faintest glow. candles burned on the wooden trays that were attached to the bookshelves, but aside from that, they were stuck in dusk. jooheon, he quickly learned, was horribly terrified of the dark.

when hyungwon had woken up that morning and demanded his manservant lead him to the library, jooheon had suggested hyungwon had books brought to him and they spend their time until lunch walking outside instead. usually, he would have no problem with the suggestion, only that two days ago hyungwon had asked about the whereabouts of the youngest prince and after learning that he was often found in the library, it became clear that he would have to visit. when he had made his decision hyungwon hadn’t yet been aware of what the library was like and even as jooheon tried to slip away in front of the door, he hadn’t thought the space would be all that uncomfortable. he was wrong.

the quiet whistle of wind could be heard, a weak gust that managed to rouse hyungwon’s shirt and the hairs at the back of his neck. he watched the tiny flames of the candles flicker as they walked past yet another empty row of books and felt he sincerely understood jooheon’s disdain for the place. there was something particularly eerie and ghastly about it and hyungwon failed to understand how the youngest prince of the north could possibly spend time holed up in a place like it.

          “changkyun’s alchemy teachers are in here sometimes and if you had met them you’d understand why i’m scared.” ironically enough, jooheon wasn’t actually aware that changkyun was the only reason that hyungwon had demanded to be brought to the library, nor did he intend to tell him. it had been days since his and changkyun’s first meeting and so far, no one had been as ready to offer any information or discuss things with him as changkyun was. whenever hyungwon found himself alone with jooheon, he attempted to question and coax things out of him, but the servant remained stubbornly tight-lipped. and after the archery lesson that finally lead to the conclusion of hyungwon not being forced to pick up weapons, minhyuk had so strongly insisted on the summoners and beasts being something hyungwon had nothing to worry about that hyungwon didn’t bother to ask again.

          “you remember that it’s your fault that we’re here, right? if you had told me everything i want to know yourself, i wouldn’t have had to drag you to the library to read about it myself.” hyungwon hissed below his breath. jooheon whined again and dug his fingers harder into hyungwon’s arm.

          “i already apologised! i told you i know nothing about anything so i can’t tell you what—“

          “i’ve been waiting for you both.” a deep voice suddenly spoke up from behind them, startling servant and prince alike. hyungwon jolted and gasped, but jooheon screamed high pitched and short — though he wasn’t sure if it wasn’t because hyungwon was clawing at his hand or because he was that scared. loud laughter echoed off the walls before they even had the chance to run and when they turned it was to the sight of changkyun, bent over from the force of his cackling and clutching his stomach. jooheon whined and stomped his foot like a child, but the prince seemed to care little that he just gave them half a heart attack.

          “changkyun!” the servant started to chastise and finally released his stiff hold on hyungwon. “you know i hate being in here, why did you have to do that?” changkyun simply grinned and looked every bit a mischievous devil. it made hyungwon wonder how the two princes got along as children and how minhyuk managed to keep up with changkyun’s chaotic behaviour and pranks.

          “i warned you not to enter my kingdom, yet you dared set foot into what is rightfully mine,” changkyun explained and opened his arms in an over-dramatic flourish. hyungwon sighed and wrapped an arm around a very disgruntled looking jooheon to try and appease him. “you asked for it.”

          “i dragged him here, he didn’t want to come,” hyungwon interrupted, pulling changkyun’s attention back to him. apparently teasing the poor servant was one of the boy’s biggest joys in life, because he seemed right at home with his smug grin, while poor jooheon was still pouting.

          “i should have just left,” hyungwon heard him mumble. he cleared his throat and dropped his arm in favour of stepping closer to changkyun. this was part of the plan jooheon didn’t know about and hyungwon felt a slight twinge of guilt at having lied to his manservant before.

          “your majesty, actually, the reason why i wanted to come here is because i was hoping to find you here. i want you to tell me more about the summoners.” jooheon was standing behind him, but hyungwon could hear his soft gasp and he could just imagine the troubled expression he was wearing. changkyun, on the other hand, seemed absolutely calm, if not a bit curious. “since we were suddenly interrupted last time and i’d like to continue where we left off.”

          “so, you’ve come here to continue our conversation? well, to be honest with you, i was very confused why you seem to have no idea about summoners, until i eavesdropped on a conversation between jooheon and minhyuk—” jooheon groaned and swore beneath his breath, “and it turns out that, for whatever reason, you don’t seem to have the slightest idea about anything. minhyuk seems unsure how much he wants you to know, but knowledge is power, correct? that’s why kings are wise old men and not newborns.”

          “are you going to tell me? because whether i know about them or not seems to matter little when they appear to have found a way to breach the castle and attack me inside the court.” there were things hyungwon wasn’t telling him; that he was questioning and doubting the intention of the beasts, that he was more curious about the intentions of summoners than he was worried about what they were planning to do to him — some of those things, he had mentioned in front of jooheon, but when he glanced over his shoulder, the servant was frowning, looked worried.

          “i don’t see why not.” changkyun replied and jooheon took it as his invitation to step forward and speak up.

          “changkyun, you know minhyuk doesn’t want him to know yet.” the prince simple scoffed and waved his hand dismissively.

          “and since when do i listen to everything my brother wants? besides, it’s unrealistic to expect the future king’s spouse to have no idea about the turmoil of the country he’s in.”

          “minhyuk wants to wait until—“

          “jooheon, that’s quite enough.” hyungwon interrupted softly and placed a light hand on his shoulder. “i don’t know what you and him think you’re protecting me from but it’s not going to help me should i be faced with a beast again. just tell me the truth, please?” his manservant looked conflicted, his eyes ridden with guilt and unspoken apology while his lips still remained tightly shut. just as he had been from the very beginning, jooheon was still loyal to his future king.

changkyun, on the other hand, had no qualms to sigh and beckon hyungwon to follow him. he pulled away from jooheon and followed after the boy who seemed to navigate through the corridors of books with ease.  
          “what might be known to you is that talk of summoners first appeared during the dark ages,” changkyun started to explain and hyungwon quickened his steps not to miss a word. “back then people had no other way to explain their appearance than a curse from the gods. they were people, normal people like you and me, who one day simply woke up looking different and possessing the ability to use magic. some of them could summon the dead, some of them could summon different beasts. normal people feared them and chased them. burned them at the stake.”

he paused his story to pull out a large and heavy book, before continuing to walk towards one of the wooden desks that were propped against the wall. the fire on the candle that was stuck to it was burning low, but it was enough for hyungwon to see the angular and runic writing of the north when changkyun pulled it open. hyungwon couldn’t read what it said, but the drawn images next to it presented caricatures of distorted people. there were dark markings on their bodies, some covering their faces, some covering arms or legs. they were ‘ _marked_ ’ by the gods and that was a story that hyungwon was still familiar with.

          “for the longest time, people thought that all of them had been executed, until, not too long ago, incidents started happening again.” hyungwon could hear jooheon shifting behind him, but his servant didn’t dare approach the table. changkyun’s eyes were focused on him as he turned the next few pages of the book, apparently looking for something. “reports of summoners started coming up again, but all of them only in the south. talk started to spread quickly, but instead of dealing with them the way they had been dealt before, the queen decided to banish them to the north.” the youngest prince paused and with bemusement clearly visible on his face, hyungwon met his eyes.

          “the queen? my mother?” he asked. changkyun nodded slowly.

          “it started as a handful of people. they crossed our borders and nestled into smaller villages, but soon that wasn’t enough. they stood out, they were found out and when our people tried to deal with them, they started attacking us. more and more of them started to appear and all of them seemed to have been sent from the south. the king of the north… our father thought that the south had sent the summoners to destroy our kingdom from within and threatened with a war. i’m not sure what happened after this, but it took a while for things to be settled and before we knew it, the south offered their youngest son as proof of their goodwill and— well, the rest you know yourself.”

talk about the south conjured up the memory of home, of his endless summers and vibrant flowers. there were the hushed whispers from the servants that never reached him, the reservation from his teachers and the limits that had been placed on him, but amongst all of that, hyungwon didn’t understand why no one had bothered to tell him. all his life, he had lived under the impression that everything was fine, that things were calm and normal, that there were no troubles at all. when he first heard about the war, his teachers were quick to pin the blame on the north, but no one had bothered to tell him what exactly had transpired.

his temples had started to throb; a subtle and quiet pain that started to spread to his forehead. hyungwon didn’t want to call the youngest prince a liar, he had no reason to lie, but he had a hard time believing his kind and generous and loving mother would purposely order dangerous monsters to be sent to the north to spread chaos. she didn’t want to kill them, that much was sure, but why they haven’t simply been locked inside a prison and kept there was beyond him. surely, if they had been locked up, they wouldn’t have been able to harm anyone.

          “how many summoners are there now?” hyungwon asked softly. changkyun shrugged with one shoulder before slowly shaking his head.

          “we don’t know. my guess is a dozen, maybe two dozen. they’ve settled down in the woods, which makes hunting and travelling a lot harder for us.”

          “i just…” both changkyun and jooheon were looking at him, but hyungwon’s eyes were focused on the illustrations in the book. “why would mother send them here? why are they attacking people? how are are their numbers increasing so rapidly?” hyungwon asked, but no one offered any answers. when he looked up to meet changkyun’s eyes, he simply caught the other prince staring back at him, his expression void of anything except soft scrutiny. “are all summoners southerners? is that why they’re after me?”

          “maybe.” changkyun said curtly and closed the book. from his tone, hyungwon could hear that he didn’t like what had been said. “maybe they’re seeking revenge because it was your mother that banished them, or maybe they hope that by getting in contact with you, they will gain the queen’s favour. either way—“ he paused for long enough to pick up the book and hug it against his chest. he was still a boy, still so small that the book covered almost his whole torso, but his eyes were calculating and unfathomable when he looked at hyungwon. “it’s our people that are being slaughtered by them.”

*

          “minhyuk thought that if,” jooheon licked over his chapped lips briefly, “if you knew you wouldn’t ever feel comfortable here. he didn’t want you to think that all of us see you as our enemy.”

          “but some of you do.” the prince insisted. his voice was tired, small and soft. he didn’t know for how long he had been watching the flames of the fireplace, but the skin at the back of his hands and the tips of his toes had started to ache from the heat. after changkyun’s explanation, it had become very clear that the youngest prince didn’t feel like continuing the conversation. hyungwon had thanked him and returned to his room with jooheon, his thoughts in a tangled jumble. he never knew and he never noticed and it was impossible not to beat himself up over it. if he had been more rebellious, if he had stayed the nosy, wild thing that he had been as a child, instead of allowing himself to be beaten into submission—

          “yes…” jooheon sounded remorseful. like all of it was somehow his fault and he had been instructed not to let the very fragile and unsteadily constructed house of cards hyungwon was living in collapse.

hyungwon blinked and looked away from the fire to watch the lines created by deep worry that had appeared on jooheon’s soft face.  
          “some of you think that i was sent here to infiltrate the country, right?” jooheon nodded, but continued to stare at the tops of his knees.

hyungwon’s first impression of jooheon was that of a kind and gentle boy. he had grown attached so quickly and jooheon had never done anything that would make hyungwon distrust him. on the contrary, the servant wanted to fight a beast just to stop it from getting to hyungwon, despite being terrified himself. he always tried to be by his side, honey sweet and pure white like petals of a lily. jooheon was the first person that opened his heart and his arms, that smiled as if they had been friends for years. not because of some personal gain, but simply the kindness of his little, golden heart.  
          “do you like me, bumblebee?” hyungwon whispered softly and watched the pale, round cheeks on his manservant’s face turn a soft pink. the softest rosé of a perennial flower. when he looked up — so sweet, so shy — hyungwon felt his breath stuck in his throat from anticipation of his answer.

          “of course i like you, your highness.”

          “good. i like you too.” he smiled and reached up to cup those soft cheeks in his hands, with the sole intention to squeeze them together until jooheon made a silly face. “i like you especially because you look so much like a duck when i do this,” the prince continued to tease, feeling the tension from before quickly fleeting and instead being replaced by a playful lightness. that was what being around jooheon did to him; lingering in negative thoughts became incredibly hard when he had sunshine personified next to him. ( perhaps hoseok was right and hyungwon was a sunflower, always turning towards the warm rays of the sun. )

being around him was easy and comfortable; jooheon never made him nervous with a glance or his mere proximity, like minhyuk did. there was none of that uncomfortably confusing heat that took over his body and made it shiver at once. nor did being around him make hyungwon want to be someone who he wasn’t yet, just to appear more impressive and awe-inspiring how it often was when he found himself around hoseok.

come to think of it, perhaps the ease was why things got out of hand so quickly.

hyungwon didn’t mean for it to happen, but there was jooheon’s warm and soft face beneath his palms and he had his eyes closed and lips pursed and something in his chest tightened. not quite affection, but a simple _need_ , a _want_ , a curiosity that sent warmth through his body and a tingle into the tips of his fingers. he could have had remained where he was, but then jooheon pursed his puffy, pink lips to make a face at him, be as playful and silly as always, and in that one second of irrationality hyungwon leaned in and kissed him.

whenever he imagined kissing hoseok, he imagined tasting summer and sweet dew drops. when minhyuk kissed him, he tasted burning warmth and the lingering bitterness of red paint on his lips. kissing jooheon was nothing like either; his lips were pillowy soft and slightly chapped, slightly dry. he tasted of the sugary pastries his mother offered hyungwon that morning during breakfast and his breath got stuck in his chest at the second when a single electrifying pulse seemed to go through his body and lick down his spine like a cold shiver.

it was only a second, a mere moment, and hyungwon pulled way, looking as wide eyed as jooheon. the servant’s pale face was a bright pink, to match his lips, and hyungwon found himself releasing his face as if burnt.

          “i’m sorry,” hyungwon breathed, flustered and slightly overwhelmed with the turn things took, despite having no one but himself to blame. his heart was beating up a frenzy as the simply worry of what would happen next. jooheon remained still for another moment, then ducked his head and brought a hand up to touch his mouth.

          “it’s alright—” he started, rushed and meek and breathless, “it’s alright, i won’t tell anyone. it was an accident anyway, wasn’t it? it won’t happen again.” there was hesitation reflecting in his eyes when he looked up at hyungwon and the prince nodded his head before he could think about what the question meant.

 _an accident_.

but why did he do it? ( curiosity, nothing more than that — yet hyungwon wasn’t sure how satisfying such an answer would be. surely, jooheon wouldn’t like hearing that all hyungwon needed was a comparison, to try again what he had thought of for so long before ultimately having his first kiss taken and leaving the experience tainted. )

hyungwon cleared his throat and returned to stare at the fire, pull his legs against his chest in an effort to hide the nervous fidgeting of his fingers. the silence stretched on for a few moments and it wasn’t awkward as much as both of them seemed to be thoroughly embarrassed. hyungwon didn’t doubt that jooheon wouldn’t tell minhyuk about it, but he could also sense that the other boy probably had a few questions regarding what had happened. not that hyungwon could actually answer them.

          “was that— was that your first kiss?” the prince managed to stumble and fall over the words like a newborn fawn. from the corner of his eyes he could see jooheon shake his still pink head and felt a surge of relief.

          “no. no, i’ve been kissed before.” a pause. “was it your first?” hyungwon shook his head as well, slowly, while trying to decide how much he was going to say about his wedding night. minhyuk and jooheon were so close, he was surprised that the crown prince hadn’t told him everything. or maybe he had and jooheon only pretended not to know.

          “my wedding night already happened, remember?” he said instead and to his surprise jooheon let out a brief laugh, prompting hyungwon to turn and face him.

          “what?”

          “nothing, nothing! it’s just that— well, you clearly have never actually _kissed_  someone before with how stiff you were just now. it reminded me of my first kiss, back when i was seven and one of the servant’s daughters just kissed me out of the blue. that and i didn’t think you would allow minhyuk to touch you.” _he doesn’t know_ , hyungwon thought and felt his shoulders relax. minhyuk didn’t tell him anything.

jooheon seemed to have felt the shift, or maybe it had become visible on his face, because he turned to hyungwon with a blotchy face and eyebrows raised, his slanted eyes openly curious. “not like that at least, but… did he? you actually did...”

          “no!” hyungwon exclaimed quickly before adding, in a much softer voice, “no, we didn’t— do all of that. he just… he kissed me. in different places.” the more hyungwon talked the higher jooheon’s eyebrows rose and despite the clearly flushed state of his face, the servant had the decency to look amused and interested.

          “in different places? like where?” hyungwon looked away and jooheon leaned in, scooted closer until his shoulder was pressed against hyungwon’s, their thighs and knees brushing. “the least you can do is tell me after you just stole a kiss from me, you know? was that why you did it? because minhyuk kissed you and you were thinking of him while being with me? huh?” the grin was audible in jooheon’s voice. he continued to bump his shoulder against hyungwon’s while rattling off one question after the other and the prince could feel his face grow hotter by the syllable.

          “i didn’t think of him!” which was a lie. “i simply—“ hyungwon paused to inhale and exhale loudly, brush shaky and nervous fingers through his wavy hair. bed talk was considered dirty and lowly gossip in the south and hyungwon had never actually even had the chance to partake in it. jooheon could call him a prude, if he wanted to, but hyungwon couldn’t help but feel shy to be discussing such things with him. “i was curious.” he finally choked out. “before i came here, no one even dared to touch me in any way, except for my family and the night with his majesty— with minhyuk… a lot happened. i feel comfortable with you, so wanted to try what it feels like to kiss someone.”

jooheon hummed, but remained pressed close. silence returned between them and for a moment hyungwon thought jooheon would move away again, or pick up another topic of conversation, when the servant’s head came to rest on top of hyungwon’s shoulder.

          “i heard that minhyuk is a great lover.” the servant mumbled. the sound of hyungwon’s heart doing a sudden flip seemed louder than his words.

          “how do you know?”

          “i don’t know how it is in the south, but here it’s normal to have fun when you’re young and trying to gain experience, it’s nothing bad. getting close with lords and ladies can cause complications, but servants are fine, even though they like to talk about it. i didn’t want to know too much since i’ve known minhyuk since we were both children, but i heard enough anyway.” jooheon explained.

          “he was...” hyungwon couldn’t forget the feeling of his fingers, gripping his hips and lifting him with ease, parting his thighs and travelling his skin. then there was his mouth — his teeth and tongue and the marks they left behind on hyungwon’s skin, the way they made his whole body feel like it was close to burning up, while leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. he could feel the phantom of sharp hip bones against the inside of his thighs and minhyuk’s sharp nose against his chest. the flush on his cheeks that made his cold, pale face look vivid and youthful and wild and made hyungwon’s heart thrum like the wings of a hummingbird.

( that wasn’t part of what his teachers taught him and it wasn’t part of what he was supposed to feel, but with reluctance and hesitation hyungwon had to admit, at the very least to himself, that he knew what those budding feelings were. he had secretly read about passionate romances in his mother’s books and admitting that his feelings for minhyuk were platonic didn’t make it any easier to swallow the bitter pill that came with the realisation of what it was that made him tingly and hot and breathless.

 _desire_. )

          “he was gentle.”

*

once again, hyungwon found himself dressed in the tight fitting, leather clothes of his spouse. his feet were enclosed in thick, warm boots and the white fur cloak, his gift from the king, was tightly clasped around his shoulders. moving in the equipment was a stiff and heavy business and hyungwon didn’t think he would ever get used to the uncomfortable clothes of the north, but minhyuk was walking next to him like the only thing he wore was his own skin.

          “are you looking forward to seeing the village?” minhyuk asked as they finally left through the large, main doors of the castle. two horses had been prepared for them and waited at the foot of the staircase.

          “of course. finally i’m going to see more of the kingdom than just the backyard and the castle.” hyungwon replied. he masked his worries well. it hadn’t been long since he last sat on horseback, but the prince usually rode without a saddle, without any reins or shoes or thick, stiff clothing. moreover, he knew his own horses well, while he had never even come in contact with the one whose reins were being handed to him.

          “her name is snowdrop. she’s very gentle and not the youngest. she should be ideal for now, until you pick your own.” minhyuk explained. his was a steed, taller than hyungwon’s and a beautiful black colour. he seemed vital and restless, while hyungwon’s mare barely moved as a servant helped him get into the saddle. as expected, sitting in tight leather pants wasn’t nearly as comfortable as riding in loose garments was, but the biggest struggle, by far, was managing to find the stirrup and find his footing with the giant clot of a boot that was on his foot. he couldn’t even move his toes inside it, but at least they weren’t freezing.

          “are we riding alone?” hyungwon asked. he still tried to test his balance when he looked up to find minhyuk tugging on the reins to direct his horse towards the gates. none of the guards seem to have prepared a horse, which left hyungwon to sincerely believe they would have an afternoon out to themselves.

          “since we’re visiting the village right at the outskirts of the castle grounds and there are enough guards around, we’ll be fine alone.” minhyuk clicked his tongue and his steed set the pace at a casual trot. as worried as hyungwon had been, minhyuk had picked the right horse for him; hyungwon had to apply the slightest pressure on the reins and she already started moving, followed after minhyuk’s horse without a problem and even started matching his pace.

the moment hyungwon rode past the giant gates of the castle wall, his chest seemed to expand. breathing became easier, his breaths deeper and unbeknownst to him, the relief became visible on his face.

minhyuk rode next to him and amongst the soft crunching of snow beneath hooves and the subtle rustle of leaves, the two royals found themselves in a comfortable silence. since hyungwon arrived in the north, his time with minhyuk had been limited and restricted. part of it he had to blame on himself and his refusal to return to minhyuk’s room after their one shared night; the other part was simply due to the crown prince’s many duties. this was something he had come to expect and was familiar with from hyunwoo, yet it seemed as though minhyuk’s long list of obligations exceeded even his brother’s.

they would always briefly meet during breakfast, when hyungwon was sitting by the fireplace in the kitchen, bent over a book and nibbling at pastries and cheese. minhyuk always arrived like a whirlwind, always carried the scent of cool, winter woods with him, the adventure visible in the restless and dishevelled mane of red hair on his head. he never failed to smile at hyungwon, brush warm fingers over his cheek in soft greeting, softer than his mumbled ‘good morning, peony’, before leaving through the backdoor.

sometimes they met during lunch — when hyungwon came down into the kitchen and minhyuk was shoving food into his mouth with an energy someone who had been out and about for hours shouldn’t possess. he always spoke animatedly, about what he had seen and heard, amusing and entertaining stories of people he met. they were always positive and hyungwon always sat and listened, watched the twinkle in the crown prince’s eyes and the swift movement of his hands as he gestured wildly.

the most rare were the moments where they would meet over supper, when jooheon and hyungwon were sitting together and planning the next day. minhyuk was the most silent during supper, ate in peace, with his shoulders heavy and head lowered in what hyungwon assumed to be exhaustion. he never managed to catch his eye or coax as much as a word out of him.

the cycles would repeat themselves over and over and before hyungwon knew it had been more than a month since he first arrived.

no more archery lessons had followed, but minhyuk had left a carefully sealed vial of paralysing poison with him that hyungwon kept tucked away against his belt, or the inside of his coat.

yet, their brief moments together had never resulted in more long and deep conversations, which was what had led to hyungwon’s decision and quite bold move of approaching the prince during breakfast one morning.

          “take me along with you when you visit a village outside the gates the next time, please.” minhyuk had looked equal amounts curious and pleased. and much easier and faster than expected, a time and day had been organised.

now, hyungwon found himself where he had been yearning to be for weeks and had nothing to say.

( one reason for that were his impure thoughts that wouldn’t leave; another was the small sense of guilt over the brief kiss he shared with jooheon; a third was the uncertainty of how much it was that minhyuk knew about hyungwon’s and changkyun’s conversation. )

          “i didn’t expect you to approach me.” in the end it was minhyuk who broke the silence and hyungwon who had to pretend as if he hadn’t been struggling to find the correct words this whole time. “not this soon, anyway. i was unsure if you preferred to have space, instead, or not.”

          “why would you think i wanted space from you?” hyungwon asked and watched the way minhyuk squinted his eyes against the bright sun and brushed a hand through his hair to push his fringe back. his hair was getting long, but so was hyungwon’s, only that the crown prince seemed much more irritated at hair falling in front of his eyes.

          “you found out that i omitted the truth from you. i was worried this might mean another ten steps back for us after the five steps we already took forward,” minhyuk explained. a second later, he added, “i was worried,” in a voice so soft and sincere hyungwon found it hard to muster up the same disappointment he had felt when he first found out.

          “rather than being angry at you about not telling me everything, i was confused.” it felt easy to admit that. it felt easy to look at minhyuk and meet his eyes and feel the need to open up. ( _you’re not alone_ , hyungwon had told him weeks ago and he meant it ). “i understood your reasoning after thinking about it for a while and after speaking to jooheon about it, but i couldn’t find any reasons for why it was being kept from me back at home. i never noticed a thing.”

          “your mother might have tried to protect you.” minhyuk offered almost immediately, “there is nothing positive about war and even a child might start to worry about safety when told about the danger that’s lurking within your own country. it could be that she wanted to shield you from all of that.”

hyungwon nodded slowly and turned his head back towards the path leading down the tall hill and towards the entrance of the village. he could already spot curious, flaxen heads peeping at them from afar.  
          “maybe.” but if so, what was the point in all the harsh lessons he was subjected to? maybe, but what aim were his teachers following when they would pull his hair and ears and hit his knuckles green and blue for being too wild; for speaking too loudly; for being too nosy. all of that had robbed him of the comfortable childhood he could have had instead. “maybe that was it.” a breath later, he couldn’t help but add, “somehow i think there must have been another reason.”

          “another reason?” minhyuk echoed, curiously, but hyungwon had already decided to remain silent.

it took a few more minutes of riding until they finally arrived at the arch leading into the village. the sun seemed less bright, the sun’s rays struggling harder to touch upon his skin and hyungwon was slightly thankful for the heavy fur on his shoulders.

minhyuk pulled on the reins and hyungwon copied the movie, slightly confused as to why they were halting already. his assumption had been that they would ride through the village, yet minhyuk dismounted his horse almost immediately and hyungwon watched him release the reins in favour of crouching in front of the group of children that had gathered around him. he spoke to them in the northern tongue, picked one up and spun the small boy around. hyungwon sat waiting for a few more moments, just to see if the crown prince would return onto his horse so they could ride on, yet when minhyuk made no move to do so, hyungwon struggled his stiff limbed way down as well.

a few of the children turned to look at him and that was what it took for minhyuk to finally remember that hyungwon was still there and still clueless on what he was supposed to do. with the small boy propped up against his hip and held securely in one arm, minhyuk offered his free hand for hyungwon to take, a smile on his face. hyungwon hesitantly reached out, cautiously curled his own fingers around minhyuk’s and stepped closer to the group of children carefully, as if approaching a litter of bunnies.

          “i hope you don’t mind that we stopped, but there’s someone who’s really curious to meet you.” minhyuk explained before looking back towards the children. their eyes were solely focused on hyungwon; opened wide and lips parted. they stared as if he were a unique attraction and while hyungwon didn’t mind, he felt shy and awkward.

his experience with children was limited to seeing them run circles around maids from the safety of his window. never before did he have to deal with them from up close or interact with any of them. before he could bend down to be on eye level with them, one of the girls grabbed at his fur and tugged, another one reached for his free hand and started inspecting his fingers and hyungwon found himself laughing to hide his discomfort.

          “do you not like children, hyungwon?” minhyuk asked. the question promptly brought a flush to his cheeks and led to hyungwon releasing the crown prince’s hand.

          “i don’t dislike them, but i never had to deal with them before and—“

          “why is your hair so weird? and what happened to your skin? do you not wash?” one of the older children asked in the common tongue. she was taller and older than the others, but she was still quite young and hyungwon couldn’t hide his surprise at her faultless speech. minhyuk laughed at her question and adjusted the toddler in his arms before replying.

          “the prince is from the south, all of the people there look a bit different than we do here. isn’t it pretty? it’s good that not all of us look the same, isn’t it? that would be so boring.” hyungwon had to duck his head and bite his lips to hide the smile that threatened to bloom on his face, oddly out of place amongst the talk they were having, yet he couldn’t help but feel touched. minhyuk spoke up again in the northern language and hyungwon caught enough words to understand that he had simply repeated himself again for the others to understand. sounds of awe and amazement followed and hyungwon no longer minded the many small hands that were tugging at his fingers and crouched down instead.

          “ _you can touch_.” hyungwon spoke, clumsy and broken in the northerner’s heavy tongued language, but the children didn’t seem to mind. some of them were curious enough to reach out and stroke his hair, some simply stared at him with gentle scrutiny.

it occurred to him then that him and minhyuk, despite seemingly being so different, had one major thing in common. the crown prince seemed to strive for a future in which the separation between their people wasn’t drastic, where the other country wasn’t treated as _other_ , but as a complementary force, there to amend and strengthen one's own. while hyungwon had never been able to look at a picture that big with his limited view from the birdcage, he had watched his mother bring his people together all his life and that had been who he wanted to strive to be in the future.

to those children who had never seen or been close to someone from the south he might have been odd and perhaps even terrifying, but minhyuk wanted to show him off, humanise the strangeness of the other and unknown to mend the gap created by prejudice and fear.

just how hyungwon had been told by his teachers that men from the north are beasts, those children were probably hearing stories about the cruel and arrogant south. with the new things he learned about the war, he could only imagine how much hatred some northerners carried towards the south and the best way to stop that was by not alienating.

once poking at his face and touching his hair became boring to the children, they turned back to minhyuk who, to their vast disappointment, placed the boy in his arms down again and said his soft goodbyes after giving the children closest to him a pet on the head. hyungwon wanted to mirror what the crown prince did, but was much more careful in tenderly brushing over their pale and silky heads.

they didn’t return onto their horses, but left them tied onto a post at the entrance of the village before continuing on by foot.

          “do you often visit the village?” hyungwon couldn’t help but ask as he watched people bow and wave at the crown prince with familiarity.

          “i try to. i like to know what my people are thinking and if they’re suffering, i want to be able to help them. some of them live too far away and have no means to travel to the castle and some simply don’t dare step in front of the king, so travelling to them and visiting is important.” hyungwon hummed, a noise neither agreement nor disagreement. he tried to recall how often he had known his brother to visit their people, but couldn’t recall him to be gone as much.

their parents hadn’t liked it when hyunwoo left the castle grounds, out of worry that something might happen to him, so his travels were few and far between and always accompanied by two handfuls of soldiers. in retrospect and with the newfound information that he had learned about, it made sense why their parents would worry so much.

hyungwon exhaled pale mist, ignored the heat that gathered in his cheeks and kept his eyes firmly on a point in the middle distance before he spoke again.  
          “you’ll make a fine king one day.” he felt rather than saw minhyuk turn to look at him, heard the smile in his voice when he asked ‘ _yeah_?’, humble and warm.

          “you clearly care a lot about your people.” almost as an afterthought, with a slight hint of hesitation, hyungwon added, “and mine.” from the corner of his eye he could see minhyuk nod before he placed a hand on the small of his back to guide him to turn the corner.

          “things between our two countries are still quite tense and with the summoners gathering together and possibly forming an army everything is uncertain. this marriage could help us merge our kingdoms and prepare ourselves for an attack and to overthrow the summoners. they may be fewer in numbers but their magic and the monsters they summon are more powerful than our weapons.” minhyuk explained.

          “do you really think fighting them is the best choice?” that was a question that had been swarming inside his head with the insistent buzz of bees since his last run in with the beast, but hyungwon hadn’t forgotten his conversation with minhyuk afterwards and how insistent he was about the beast wanting to kill him.

the crown prince seemed to be able to sense where the conversation was leading and inhaled deeply.  
          “what else would you do?” he asked, his voice neutral. hyungwon resisted the urge to shrug. he wasn’t sure how much of his thoughts he should share with the prince considering how he reacted last, but he also knew fully well that unless he presented a different point of view to minhyuk, he wouldn’t be able to see it.

          “just how we alienated each other for so long, we alienate them. they’re the enemy because they’re different, but you just explained to those children that being different isn’t bad.” hyungwon started to explain and turned to face minhyuk. “my understanding is that they were burned and murdered in the past and i’m sure they know about it as well. no matter how they managed to survive after all this time, they’re probably scared. they fear death.”

          “you’re right, they do.” minhyuk agreed, quickly and before he finished the sentence hyungwon knew that more would follow. “they fear death, but death is a consequence of their own actions. when the summoners first arrived in the north, people were cautious and scared. they were strange and people could tell they weren’t quite southerners. at that point, a lot of us had forgotten the distant past and were simply being careful, but the summoners didn’t try to adjust at all. they showcased their magic and used it to steal and cause destruction. eventually my people started to fight back and chased them away. it’s not ideal, but all reports of summoners in the north depict them as aggressive monsters. perhaps they were people once, but i doubt any inkling of humanity is left in them.”

as much as hyungwon wanted to argue, he couldn’t. he had never met any summoners and he hadn’t read the reports. quite frankly, he had no exact idea what they were capable of, but was going off what he believed to be possible and what he could see as an explanation for their behaviour. he had seen something in the beast he was faced with, something intelligent, something that acted with reason, and while he wanted to explain it, he had a feeling that his reasoning would be too vague for the crown prince to take it into account. it could easily be brushed off as naive and simply a gut feeling.

silence returned between them and hyungwon, met with the urge to change the topic to something lighter, attempted to bring it back to the reason minhyuk seemed so excited to come to the village.

          “you seem to adore children,” hyungwon started again. minhyuk smiled at him, clearly relieved at the change of topic before giving him a brief nod.

          “i do, i love them! i used to watch over changkyun when he was younger, but if you ask him about it now, he will get embarrassed and deny how clingy he was.” minhyuk laughed. “there is a seven year difference between us, so you must imagine a seven year old changkyun clinging to the leg of my pant and refusing to let go. he was a proper leech.” hyungwon had still not managed to catch the two princes in the same space and watch them interact, but just from the affectionate way minhyuk spoke about him, hyungwon could tell that he really loved his brother. ( it made him wonder if hyunwoo missed him. if he thought of him sometimes. if he read his letters ).

          “do you want to have children?” that was a question hyungwon had been warned from asking. one of the rules his teachers had given him was to not be nosy and not ask too many questions about the crown prince’s private life; mistresses and children were two of those.

          “i would love to have a few, actually.” minhyuk replied and hyungwon nodded slowly.

          “what about you?” the question made him look up and face minhyuk with a bemused frown.

          “me? not… really, but it doesn’t matter, i wouldn’t be the one to sire them, anyway. they would be your children.” hyungwon said, then looked away again.

          “they would be _our_  children. no matter where they come from, i’m married to you. they would be ours, just like this kingdom will be ours one day,” was minhyuk’s suave reply. it was hyungwon’s turn to laugh this time; dry and short and unamused.

          “the way you speak, one could think we’re in a loving marriage and not bound by political ties in a newly budding friendship.”

          “you’re saying that as if friendship can’t turn into romance.” minhyuk smiled, bright and careless and daring and hyungwon closed his mouth as soon as he opened it. his cheeks filled with a heat that had nothing to do with the cold temperatures. he could hear jooheon’s voice inside his head, telling him that minhyuk was a great lover and remembered the prince telling him that he had experience with love and heartbreak. judging by the way minhyuk spoke, he seemed to be quite confident in his skills as well.

hyungwon wouldn’t put it past him to skilfully steal his naive heart as easily as a thief in the night.

          “rather than having a short lived and intense romance, wouldn’t it be better to have a relationship based on honest friendship, loyalty and trust?” hyungwon asked, feeling quite content and witty, when minhyuk laughed again and curled his fingers around hyungwon’s hand before bringing cold knuckles to his lips and giving the back of his hand a kiss.

          “why not have both?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /drum rolls/ and this week's flower is: anthurium symbolizes hospitality. It is also used to indicate happiness and abundance.


	8. devil's snare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon meets a grey haired stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo people as you can probably tell by the update that's a bit later than usual things have been a bit more busy and hectic for me lately. if you follow me on twt you probably know that i have some exams to study for atm and only finished writing this chapter late saturday night and put my beta reader through the stress of having to finish it all in one day,,, because i have less time atm, there won't be any update this coming weekend sadly bc i still have to study and while i started out on ch 9, there is no way i'm going to be able to finish it in time without it being super stressful again SO the next update is going to be on the weekend of the following week. soak up the last rays of hyunghyuk fluff and try and find all the foreshadowing clues bc there's only ch 9 left before shit hits the fan in ch 10 uwu in the meantime, enjoy the update

it was already late in the afternoon and the last rays of the sun had painted the sky a a pale violet. hyungwon sat in the relative silence of his room, filled only with the occasional rustling of pages of his book and the words he mumbled under his breath.

 

minhyuk had been gone since the early afternoon, the younger prince was nowhere to be found, and jooheon had mentioned needing to help out in the kitchen in preparation for a banquet that was to follow the same week. hyungwon didn’t mind finding himself alone in his room and tried to utilise the time by studying the northerners’ language.

 

the door creaked open behind him, fell shut again. hyungwon heard it but didn’t mind, or care to turn. it would be time for supper soon, which meant that the only people who had a reason to enter his room would be jooheon, or one of the other servants, coming to notify him or fetch him. the approaching footsteps sounded light, but confident, and hyungwon quickly reasoned that it couldn’t be jooheon.

 

he raised his left hand, his forefinger lifted slightly, to signify whoever had entered to wait.

          “just a moment, please,” hyungwon spoke softly, before finishing the sentence he had been reading and placing a bookmark between the heavy pages of the old book.

 

          “your majesty.” the voice that greeted him was light, airy. it was what hyungwon imagined a hot and stifling summer storm to sound like, once it rolled around with heavy grey clouds and hit the ground to cool down. hyungwon _knew_  that he had never heard it before, yet a strong sense of déjà vu washed over him, momentarily pushed aside while hyungwon pondered the servant’s way of addressing him.

 

even before he turned, hyungwon could tell that something was different. a peculiar tension had filled the air, settled heavy between his shoulder blades and came together in a low, dull ache right on the back of his shoulder. the wind seemed to have halted for a moment, the crackling of the fire stopped and with the returning sense of familiarity, hyungwon met the stranger’s eyes.

 

in the middle of his room stood a man with slightly wavy, grey hair. he was by no means old, his sharp and angular face looked no older than hyunwoo’s, yet his hair carried a violet-grey sheen, almost like someone had set fire to dried and crushed violets. he was dressed in furs, all black and grey and without a single colour that represented the court of the northern palace. his skin was tan and glowed in the way he had only seen back home.

 

within a second, hyungwon was out of his seat and stood defensive and pressed with the small of his back against his study table. whoever the stranger was, he had no business being in his room and hyungwon didn’t want to think how he had managed to get past the guards that were watching the corridors leading to his room.

 

          “i’m not the crown prince. i’m his spouse,” hyungwon replied and found himself quite proud of the minimal tremor of his voice. the stranger simply grinned, lopsided and sharp in a way that vaguely reminded him of minhyuk.

 

          “i know who you are, my prince,” he said, then smiled — bright and open mouthed and so sincere that hyungwon could spot a dimple showing at the top of his cheek.

 

          “have we met before?” with the possibility that maybe the man was a southerner, like him, hyungwon switched to their own language, instead of the common tongue. the spark of realisation in the stranger’s eyes told him that he had recognised exactly what hyungwon was trying to do and when he opened his mouth to reply, it was in the same intonation, the same sound, same language, as hyungwon.

 

          “not directly, not until now. but you seem to have realised where i’m from. do you know who i am?” the stranger asked.

 

( a far away memory returns to him once more; of his mother and him and the giant field of flowers that seemed to breathe with her and pulsate to the beating of her heart. hyungwon had felt a pull then, something in the pit of his stomach and right at the back of his shoulder blade and scarily similar to what he felt in that moment ).

 

          “your skin gave you away, although your hair confused me immensely,” hyungwon admitted. “but no, i have no idea who you are. shouldn’t you introduce yourself?” the stranger grinned again, his smile cheeky like that of a mischievous child’s.

 

they both seem to register the sound of approaching footsteps at the same time and after throwing a quick glance across his shoulder that left hyungwon staring at the man’s sharp profile, pointy nose and chin, he let out a sigh.

 

          “after so many tries i finally manage to meet you and then our meeting is cut short. oh, well—“ the stranger’s words were as puzzling as his actions in that moment, but with the same confident steps hyungwon had registered before, he turned and walked towards the door; opened it, paused to look back at hyungwon one last time and shoot him one last grin. “maybe i’ll finally have the chance to talk with you next time. until then, your majesty.”

 

the door fell shut and hyungwon rushed forward to pull it open.

          “it’s ‘your highness’, not majesty—“ he started to correct only to find the corridor completely void of any presence. a shiver run down his spine the moment jooheon rushed around the corner. he stopped as soon as he spotted hyungwon and bent forward with his hands braced against his knees, panting heavily. behind him, the heavy footsteps of guarded soldiers followed, all of them slowing down as soon as they spotted the confused prince lingering by the door.

 

          “you’re alright—“ jooheon exhaled.

 

          “of course, i’m alright. did something happen?” hyungwon asked, trying to search the faces of the soldiers. in the end it was jooheon who managed to catch his breath and meet hyungwon’s eyes.

 

          “there was another beast attack inside the palace.”

 

*

 

hyungwon learnt that while minhyuk had a lot of similarities to a fox, his brother shared a lot of characteristics with a dog. not only did he get endearingly excited, a bit like a puppy, he also became incapable of letting go once he caught whiff of a trace.

 

in this case, the trace was hyungwon’s lie.

 

          “i told you already, i heard a commotion and went outside my room to check what’s going on.” changkyun’s face remained impassive and he didn’t move a muscle, aside from the stubborn purse of his lips.

 

next to him jooheon sighed.

          “changkyun, just let it go will you? we should work on figuring out where the breach in security is and not question why his highness was on his way out of his room.”

 

hyungwon didn’t know why he lied. he wasn’t sure why he decided to keep the stranger that had suddenly entered his room a secret, but a whirlwind of uncomfortable commotion deep in his guts told him to keep quiet about it. maybe it was the familiar tongue of his own language, or the healthy glow to the man’s skin, but he didn’t seem like a threat to hyungwon. he wasn’t naive enough to ignore the sudden appearance of a beast that was coincidentally timed simultaneously to his visit, but even if the man had been the one to summon the beast, hyungwon wanted to see him again.

 

there were questions that needed answering; hyungwon still believed that whatever it was that was going on between the summoners and the north could be resolved without further bloodshed and it only spoke for the summoners that one of them seemed to be prepared to talk with him. his first run in with the beast in the forest wasn’t forgotten, but the more time hyungwon spend pondering the first and second ‘attack’ the less they seemed to feel as such.

 

          “there is something you aren’t telling us.” changkyun’s quiet, but somber voice broke through his train of thought and caused hyungwon to pause his slow chewing. the kitchen was almost empty, sans for the three of them and jooheon’s mother, yet the unspoken implication weighed heavy and loud in the stifling silence of the room.

 

          “you think i’m connected to those beast attacks. you think i caused them,” hyungwon said.

 

          “i don’t know what to think,” changkyun started and had hyungwon not been on the receiving end of his scrutiny he would have been more impressed at the sheer perceptiveness of someone as young as sixteen. “i don’t know what to think, but the only things i do know for sure is that the one connection between the beasts attacks and us, is you.”

 

          “he was the one that was attacked both times,” jooheon quickly interrupted and when hyungwon glanced at him, he could see the angry, red blotchiness to his face. he was enraged on hyungwon’s behalf. “i’ve been there both times! i’ve seen it suddenly appear! the prince risked his life to save mine and—“

 

          “if he was on their side, it would be easy to do the exact same thing, for no other reason but to win our trust and fool us,” changkyun argued back and the stoic expression on his face finally broke and turned into an angry and upset snarl. hyungwon couldn’t even bring it upon himself to be irritated anymore, but he knew he had to pacify the youngest prince somehow. changkyun may have been young but he was still the prince and he still had an influence. even if the king wasn’t prepared to listen to his theories about the deceitful prince of the south, someone else undoubtedly would and hyungwon was caught in a fickle position as it is.

 

          “changkyun,” he spoke softly and watched the youngest prince flinch, like a child that had been interrupted in his tantrum with nothing but gentle kindness — something unexpected. “you’re worried, i understand that. you might not be the crown prince, but you’re a prince and you worry about your people, i know that, but believe me when i say that i didn’t summon that beast. i’m not here to trick you and i’m not here to destroy anything.” changkyun was still frowning, but he lowered his head and hyungwon exhaled a prolonged sigh before finally continuing.

          “it would be so easy if the issue was resolved with me being at fault and you putting me away, but that sadly isn’t the solution to this problem.” and much softer still, he added, “after our first conversation, i thought you realised that we had a lot in common. i thought that’s why you shared your thoughts with me.” in front of him, changkyun seemed to deflate, turn younger and smaller and finally look as lost as a worried and scared child. he must have been, hyungwon reasoned. a monster had appeared in his very home, things were out of his control and he didn’t even have the power to make his voice about it heard in front of the king. hyungwon could understand his frustrations well.

 

          “if that’s not what you’re hiding, then what are you hiding?” yet changkyun’s stubbornness didn’t fade in the slightest, since he knew he was right and hyungwon knew it, too, and at this point it seemed that even jooheon had grown curious and suspicious about the prince’s activity. “a few of the guards said they could hear your voice when they were about to turn the corner. they said you were speaking in the southerners’ language.”

 

within his first week in the north, hyungwon had already decided that jooheon would be his friend. just recently, he decided that minhyuk could be his home. changkyun reminded him so much of himself when he was younger, he could see them growing close. the north was who his loyalty and alliance belonged to now, there was no need to protect a potential criminal in favour of breaking the trust he had managed to build up.

 

yet hyungwon’s lips seemed heavy, almost as if someone had glued them together with honey and he simply could not bring it over himself to speak about the grey haired stranger. not even changkyun would be able to stop a potential hunt for the man, no matter how pacifistic his tendencies, and if the stranger really was a summoner then he was the only connection to them that hyungwon would have. and he seemed anything but mean and monstrous; he was as human as the rest of them, his smile friendly and oddly familiar.

 

‘ _i know who you are, my prince_ ’, the stranger had said and each time hyungwon thought of his words, the memory of his mother and the meadow of wild flowers returned. it was peculiar and unfitting. strange. hyungwon couldn’t explain it and couldn’t shake it off.

 

he opened his mouth and closed it again, felt panic fry at the edges of his nerves. changkyun leaned closer and hyungwon _knew_  he had to say something.

 

          “i was praying,” hyungwon said. changkyun was quiet again, he was clearly waiting for more. “i heard a commotion and i was all alone so i got worried and started praying.” changkyun’s eyes narrowed and jooheon finally moved again, stood up from the bench to reach towards the basket of fresh pastries his mother passed him. outside it was already dark, but most people were too busy searching the castle to have supper.

 

          “if it was simply that then why didn’t you sa—“

 

          “changkyun. _enough_.” minhyuk’s voice interrupted and everyone present seemed to turn to him, waiting for any news as the crown prince stepped closer to their table. “with an obvious breach in our defences and a summoner on our grounds and on the loose, don’t you think we have more important things to do?” the younger prince remained silent, but his frown quickly turned into a glare.

 

          “have you found something, minhyuk?” jooheon’s mother finally spoke up, her tone heavy and worried. the crown prince shook his head and slid onto the bench next to hyungwon and opposite his brother.

 

          “minhyuk, you can’t tell me you haven’t considered it a possibility, that—“

 

          “you were enthusing so much over the prince of the south before, why are you accusing him now?” minhyuk interrupted his brother again, but instead of falling quiet once more, changkyun continued to argue.

 

          “before the beasts had never gotten so close, they had never been inside our home. that was a war that was fought on the outside and before we could keep them at bay, but since he arrived they suddenly started appearing here, in our home, where we’re supposed to be safe.” changkyun looked and sounded clearly upset and if hyungwon had learnt one thing from hyunwoo, it was that an older brother couldn’t stand seeing his younger sibling upset. jooheon’s mother sat down next to the youngest prince and placed a motherly hand on his back, most likely rubbing soothing circles up and down. minhyuk seemed to become more relaxed as well and hyungwon watched him reach out his hand and place his own atop of changkyun’s. not even hyungwon could find the slightest hint of irritation in him, not when changkyun was clearly nothing more than a scared child.

 

          “changkyun, you aren’t naive. we both know that you’re witty and perceptive, you have a good sense for people too. does the prince of the south really strike you as someone to make up such intricate lies to bring down our kingdom?” the youngest prince took a moment to reply, but the frown and the glare softened soon enough.

 

          “no…” despite everything, hyungwon found himself exhaling a relieved sigh and changkyun must have noticed too because he met his eyes and lowered them to the table almost immediately, shy and ashamed.

 

          “i understand that you’re worried changkyun, but please don’t accuse my spouse of such acts again. things are in a very fragile state right now and i don’t want anyone to take your thoughts for gospel and try to cause hyungwon harm.” the youngest prince nodded his head, but still wouldn’t look up. hyungwon didn’t say anything, he was trying to bite back the smile that was threatening to spill over at the clear way in which minhyuk was portraying his trust in him. next to him, jooheon shifted and cleared his throat, slid close enough for hyungwon to feel his thigh and elbow brush against his own. at first he thought jooheon was trying to get his attention, but when hyungwon turned to look at him, the servant was bending forward to catch minhyuk’s eyes.

 

          “minhyuk, i was going to get the prince ready for bed now, should i—“

 

          “yes, do it in my room.” minhyuk said, nodded once and finally met hyungwon’s questioning eyes. “you’ll stay with me from now on, it’s more safe this way. i don’t want to worry about someone appearing in your room while you’re asleep and no one is around.”

 

*

 

the servants had carried out minhyuk’s tub and set it up in front of the fireplace, similarly to the way they always did in hyungwon’s room. minhyuk’s room was bigger, with a higher ceiling, and even though the servants tried their best to heat it up as much as possible, by the time jooheon had helped him undress, he could feel the cold bite at his exposed skin.

 

          “your teeth are clattering.” jooheon commented, amused, as he helped the prince get into the steaming hot bath. hyungwon paid him no mind and released a content sigh as he sunk into the water, up to his chin. guards were placed in front of the crown prince’s room; two of them in front of the door, two a bit further down the corridor and two constantly marching up and down. after the beast had made it into the heart of the castle and no one had managed to find the perpetrator, the securities measures were taken up a notch. the assumption was that the beast would try to harm one of the royals, though hyungwon wouldn’t be surprised to find out that minhyuk’s room was the most heavily guarded.

 

minhyuk was still in an emergency meeting with the king and while hyungwon wasn’t as nervous anymore to spend a night with him, he couldn’t ignore the tingly feeling that had settled deep in his stomach. he allowed himself to dip down further, feeling the hot water rise to his lips and allowed jooheon’s hands to guide his body forward and brush over his shoulders.

 

it reminded him of minhyuk.

 

many things had started to remind him of minhyuk, but it was with an upsetting increase that innocent touches of skin had started to bring back memories of their night together. hyungwon didn’t want to think of it, but the truth was that he had found himself curious for another kiss, another touch, another _something_. on normal days there are more things to deal with, more important things to worry about and take care of that take his focus away from the crown prince, but despite the danger and tension the caste found itself in, once hyungwon entered minhyuk’s room, his train of thought started to run singular.

 

the heavy canopy was a good reminder of him laying awake that night with his hands clasped together, praying and smiling to himself. things had truly started to look up then, hyungwon had truly started to relax then and now that he was back in the room, every detail started to return to him.

 

he highly doubted that minhyuk would touch him again; since their trip to the village and minhyuk’s mention of the potential of a blooming romance, nothing else had happened. the crown prince still greeted him the same way as always, every morning, still left lingering touches against his cheek and shoulder, but never bothered to push.

 

it left hyungwon wondering if he didn’t have any desire to touch him or if he was waiting for something.

 

          “what are you thinking about, your highness?” jooheon’s question startled him, made him sit up higher once again and shift until his shoulders were exposed.

 

          “just… the last time i was here, in this room.” hyungwon confessed, voice small. jooheon’s hands continued their gentle path over his shoulders and down his shoulder blades, along his spine, coaxing a satisfied sigh past his lips. he hadn’t told jooheon any details and as relieved as he was to learn that minhyuk hadn’t shared any information at all with jooheon, he still found it hard to open up himself.

 

          “are you nervous?” jooheon asked, sounding surprised. hyungwon immediately cursed himself for being that easy to read and only then noticed the tension between his shoulder blades and the tightly curled, white knuckled fists that were resting atop his knees. “minhyuk won’t do anything, you should know that.”

 

          “i know.” the prince mumbled beneath his breath; and he wasn’t nervous, not really, but tingles were spreading through his limbs like little ants and try as he might, he couldn’t bring himself to relax. minhyuk wouldn’t do anything, most likely (most definitely), but hyungwon couldn’t stop thinking about how he actually wanted him to. those thoughts were anything but appropriate and accompanied with heavy guilt that made putting any of his thoughts into words all the harder.

          “i know,” he started again, this time a bit louder, “i’m not nervous, i’m just… something. i’m something i can’t explain and maybe i am a bit nervous, i don’t know. i was really, really nervous last time, but i have no reason to be nervous now.” the usually so eloquent prince always seemed to find himself struggling for words when the topic of conversation changed to minhyuk and what exactly it was that transpired between them during private moments.

 

jooheon’s movements slowed down, but they didn’t falter. instead the servant pulled away for a moment and when hyungwon glanced over his shoulder, he saw him lathering up his hands before the soap was pressed against his skin.   

          “was what he did what made you so nervous? or was it something else?” the servant’s question was soft enough to not sound like jooheon was probing, but hyungwon still felt his whole body flush within a moment’s time and the nervousness he’d denied seemed to hit him with the force of wild ocean waves. they rushed inside his ribcage, flooding it and drowning out his helplessly fluttering heart.

 

          “it’s…” the way his hands moved across hyungwon’s skin, like they were brushing over the softest petals, his lips following the path so lovingly and carefully. he made hyungwon feel treasured and delicate, intricate like a glass flower beneath a glass bell that was being touched and appreciated from up close for the very first time. all of him was so warm, every inch of skin that was brushing the inside of hyungwon’s thighs and chest and sides was warm and gentle, the callouses of his hands oddly endearing despite their roughness. “it’s what i thought he would do, at first, and then what he was doing. no one had ever been that close to me before and it was like nothing i’ve ever felt…” hyungwon trailed off, his voice growing more and more soft and he wasn’t even sure if jooheon had heard him since the servant remained silent.

 

jooheon’s hands trailed over his shoulder and to his upper arm and while neither of them looked at the other, hyungwon knew that jooheon was right next to him and probably had the perfect view on his beet red face.

          “are you-“ jooheon’s voice interrupted the silence and made hyungwon startle unreasonably “are you nervous because it felt good?” hyungwon suddenly wished jooheon was sitting behind him instead so he could hide his face and reactions better, but jooheon was next to him and hesitantly they both glanced at each other. the servant seemed shy and patient and his voice while asking had been soft, as if he was trying to make sure he wouldn’t be invasive. hyungwon was happy to have him, really, but that didn’t make opening up about topics that were such huge taboos back home any easier. “are you nervous because you think it might happen again now?”

 

          “no!” his denial was quick and too loud for the soft mumble that had previously filled the crown prince’s room. “no, i don’t think he will— i don’t think anything will happen.”

 

          “but you want it to.” jooheon didn’t ask this time; and he didn’t need to, not when hyungwon’s face spoke volumes about his thoughts and jooheon could read him like a carefully calligraphed page. “do you want to try more?”

 

          “i shouldn’t talk about this.” hyungwon shifted, almost as if he wanted to move away, but his arm was still carefully trapped in jooheon’s gentle hold as the servant’s careful fingers massaged along the spindly limb. “it’s not proper or appropriate, i really shouldn’t.” the silence returned, jooheon focused on on spreading foam over hyungwon’s collarbones and neck while the prince pointedly avoided his eyes. for those silent few moments hyungwon assumed their conversation had been cut short. perhaps he had been too firm, he pondered, as jooheon walked over to the other side and started working on washing his other arm. the prince even considered apologising, when jooheon interrupted him just as he opened his mouth.

 

          “if— if you were unwilling to speak about it because you’re too shy, i wouldn’t continue to question it, but it seems like all that’s holding you back is some imaginary etiquette.” the servant said, firmly but gently. “i don’t want to push you for any details, but i want you to know that it’s okay to like it. there’s nothing bad about liking to be touched and kissed, that’s normal. if it wouldn’t feel good people wouldn’t do it.”

 

          “but i’m not supposed to like it, it’s dirty. when my teachers told me what would happen in my wedding night they made it very clear that it would be an uncomfortable and painful experience i would have to go through. i wasn’t supposed to touch, or make any sounds— i was instructed to lie back and let it happen, i wasn’t supposed to actively participate in it.” but he wanted to. the way minhyuk treated him made him want to. he pulled his arm away and curled them around his knees instead, before allowing his forehead to rest atop of them. it was the best way to hide from the thoughts that had befallen it and jooheon’s eyes. the implication that he wanted to be intimate with minhyuk was almost palpable — as was hyungwon’s guilt over it.

 

he couldn’t see what jooheon did, nor did he want to check, but he could hear his servant sigh and pick up the bucket to gather water, before dumping it over hyungwon’s shoulders and nape.

          “i know that you feel guilty about it, but you have no reason to. i know minhyuk, i’m pretty sure that he wanted it to be nice and feel good for you. he would be happy to know that he pleased you in some way, even if it’s just a bit. that’s why people sleep with each other — because it feels good. there’s no reason to feel bad about it when no one is getting hurt, you know? that’s how things are here in the north.” another bucket of water was emptied over him before jooheon’s warm hand landed on top of his head, petting his hair gently and reassuringly.

          “i’m your friend and i don’t want to see you beating yourself up over something that should be part of a happy marriage. please, stop feeling guilty, your highness. enjoy the things that feel good, instead.”

 

*

 

jooheon was busy tying the ribbon to hyungwon’s nightgown when the door to minhyuk’s room opened and a thoroughly exhausted crown prince stepped inside. hyungwon turned to look over his shoulder and saw the exact moment minhyuk remembered that he wasn’t alone in his room. while the crown prince had previously reached to unbutton his military jacket, a frown on his face and lips pinched tight, his demeanour changed once he looked up and their eyes met.

 

a tired smile spread on his lips and hyungwon felt, more than saw, his eyes travel over the exposed skin of hyungwon’s nape and back. hyungwon turned back towards jooheon, just in time to catch the servant suppress a grin and look away from minhyuk.

 

          “should i tie it more loosely, your highness?” jooheon asked, his fingers reaching up to tug on the loose and wide cut collar. it was apparent what he was trying to do and hyungwon immediately started batting his hands away — jooheon simply laughed and grinned with mischief and stepped back to give him and minhyuk a deep, almost mocking bow. the situation had turned embarrassing rather than comical for him and as soon as jooheon disappeared from his vision and hyungwon heard the door close, he took a step towards the bed, fully prepared to hide beneath the covers and pretend to be asleep. he didn’t get very far; a gentle hold on his upper arm stopped him in his steps and suddenly minhyuk was right in front of him, his eyes wide awake amidst the exhaustion on his face.

 

before, even if they were closer to each other than an arm’s length, both of them had barriers of thick clothes and fur separating them, yet as soon as hyungwon found himself in nothing but his delicate nightgown he felt exposed. bare.

 

it didn’t help that minhyuk’s fingers travelled down his arm, took a gentle hold of his hand and brought the tense and cool limb to his chest, making hyungwon’s whole body feel hot and cold at once. a single flower left trembling in the whirlwind that had caught it.

 

          “will you help me undress, peony?” minhyuk asked, his voice rough and soft, filled with an edge of _something_  that was only vaguely familiar. he sounded similarly to how he did on their first night together, right when he breathed against hyungwon’s skin that he smelled divine. ( hyungwon wouldn’t ever forget the sound of his voice then, not when the implication was so thick and heavy on his tongue that what he had meant to say was _delectable_  ).

 

          “of course,” hyungwon mumbled uselessly, his body and fingers stiff as he moved to clumsily work at the buttons of minhyuk’s jacket. he didn’t dare look up and meet minhyuk’s eyes, but they were standing so close that the sound of his breathing was audible, the heat that his body exuded almost beckoning hyungwon to step closer, to press close and stay there, inhale the scent of his moonlight skin. the last button of the jacket popped open and hyungwon’s hands brushed against minhyuk’s chest, slipped beneath the jacket and over his shoulders to help him shrug it off. he could see as far as minhyuk’s lips, curled in a playful and barely suppressed grin, and the sharp tip of his nose.

 

the shirt he wore beneath was thin, white cotton. hyungwon tried not to dwell on anything as he reached for the hem of it and helped the prince pull it over his head. the muscles in his arms were lean but defined, shifting beneath his skin as he moved his arms and threw his shirt over the table that stood in his room. hyungwon stood there, shifting awkwardly and not daring to look up while minhyuk worked to unbutton his pants and push the thick leather garment down his legs. he wore long undergarments beneath and just as hyungwon had been about to ask where he kept his nightgown, the prince spoke up again.

          “i hope you don’t mind me sleeping like this.” he did mind; hyungwon minded it a lot, but instead of saying any of that he just shook his head. “why don’t you get into bed first? i’m going to feed the fire to make sure it stays warm till morning.” again, all hyungwon could do was silently nod and tip toe his way over to the bed. he got under the blankets and the heavy duvet with some difficulty, too distracted by his own, thudding heartbeat and blood rushing through his whole body. his limbs felt heavy and numb as he pushed his frozen toes beneath the cool sheets.

 

shyly, as if someone could come into the room any moment and catch him, or as if minhyuk might turn and find him peeping, hyungwon’s eyes travelled along the length of the bed and settled on minhyuk’s back. the last time, hyungwon had been too drunk in the moment to properly look at him, but with minhyuk turned away it was easy to study his bare skin. there was a small scar, running next to his spine and in the middle of his back, and another, slightly larger one, on his left shoulder. they both looked faded already, but were visible on his pale skin, even in the candle light.

 

hyungwon inhaled once and felt his thoughts start to drift. what would it have been like if minhyuk grew up in the south? they could have been friends, then, ran along the beach and basked in the bright rays of the sun. minhyuk’s skin would glow the same way his own did, bright as his smile and smelling of the ocean breeze. he could envision so clearly how easy it would be to catch him in the shadow of a plum tree, hold his arm and kiss his lips. he would taste like sunlight and the lingering sweetness of cherries. if they had been friends and minhyuk’s touch had been more familiar to him, wouldn’t turn him so tense and nervous and jittery, it would have been easy to push down on his shoulders and slide into his lap. press full lips against his throat and nip and lick the same way minhyuk had done to him. hyungwon could almost taste the salt on his tongue; the taste of the sea and summer sweat and something bitter-sweet that was distinctly minhyuk.

 

the fantasy was disrupted when the crown prince moved to stand and turned towards the bed and the illusion of the summer sky and the rushing of ocean waves disappeared, just like the glow to his skin. he looked cold and foreign again, far away like the milky light of the moon and hyungwon was still sitting on bed, nervous and clutching at the sheets.

 

hyungwon looked away and focused on his fingers, caught the movement of the quick and shallow rise and fall of his own chest. jooheon’s voice still resonated inside his head and when he felt the blanket shift and the bed dip beneath minhyuk’s weight, before he turned to face him. the crown prince seemed to have expected it because he made no move to lay down, but sat down opposite hyungwon and let the duvet rest atop his lap.

 

          “you seem nervous again, little peony.” minhyuk’s hoarse voice seemed to curl around him with intent, caress down his spine. the hand that reached for his face was dusted with coal and soot, but familiar enough to stop hyungwon from flinching away when it cupped his cheek. tender and soft, minhyuk ran his thumb along the apple of his cheek. hyungwon felt his lips twitch. “are you nervous about the beast that attacked or me?”

 

          “neither.” hyungwon said and reached up to clasp the hand on his cheek between both of his. minhyuk didn’t seem to mind, his fingers curled around hyungwon’s hand with ease, brushed against his pulse points and chased goosebumps along his covered arms. “i… i have something i want to talk to you about. something i did.” he paused and watched minhyuk’s face shift into something more guarded. his hand remained where it was, but hyungwon could feel him turn more cautious. clearly his expectations were prepared for deep betrayal and with the way hyungwon fidgeted and shifted and gnawed on his lips, he must have fit right into the picture of a cheating liar.

 

          “i kissed jooheon. on the mouth.” the words left his mouth in a single breath. hyungwon didn’t dare inhale, but with the slightest confusion he watched minhyuk sigh in something akin to relief. his shoulders dropped and his fingers gave hyungwon’s hand a brief squeeze, right before the grin returned to his face.

 

          “is that all you wanted to tell me?” minhyuk asked and despite hyungwon’s puzzlement, he sounded amused. hyungwon was still trying to gather his thoughts when minhyuk shifted and moved closer, angled his body to face hyungwon’s and scooted close enough that hyungwon could feel his knee brushing against his own thigh.

 

          “y-yes.” the stutter was unwelcome, as was the heat that filled hyungwon’s cheeks and rose from his nape to the tips of his ears. he wanted to pull his suddenly clammy hand away and hide his pulse point, hide the frantic beating of his heart along with his flustered face, but minhyuk didn’t seem to have any intention of letting go.

 

          “how was it?” he was too close, hyungwon thought when the crown prince leaned in and warm breath fanned against his face. it was impossible to look away from the edges of his smile and the spark in his eyes. he looked nosey and curious and nothing how hyungwon expected him to look after receiving news of his spouse kissing someone that wasn’t him. “did you like it?”

 

          “no!” despite the denial, hyungwon watched minhyuk’s grin grow into a leer and without thinking about it, hyungwon released minhyuk’s hand and reached for a pillow instead. it might not have been the mature thing to do, but his face was burning and minhyuk’s face was looking too satisfied so all hyungwon could think of doing was whacking him across the head with it. minhyuk didn’t seem deterred; he laughed, bright and loud and clear, and even hyungwon’s own pout and pursed lips were fighting to pull into a smile.

 

he shifted onto his knees, almost fell over when the fabric of the nightgown got caught beneath him. minhyuk tried reaching for his arms to stop the onslaught of hits with the soft down pillow, but hyungwon was too fast. the scene was playful and light, but blood was still thrumming through hyungwon’s veins and in another moment of heat knotting the insides of his stomach he straddled minhyuk’s lap, his thighs spread wide to accommodate the crown prince’s parted legs. while minhyuk had been half-heartedly trying to fight him off before, hyungwon could feel his whole body tense up beneath him and the hands that head been loosely curling around his arms, immediately shifted to hold his hips instead. his grip was tight and it was obvious to hyungwon that what minhyuk was trying to do was keep a distance between them. the realisation was what made hyungwon stop the one sided pillow fight and pull the pillow against his chest instead, his eyes wide and insecure as they met minhyuk’s taken aback expression.

 

          “what are you doing?” the crown prince asked and his grip didn’t loosen.

 

          “should you be this amused about me kissing other people, minhyuk?” his name still felt odd, rolling off hyungwon’s tongue.

 

          “do you want me to feel insecure about it instead?”

 

          “you don’t?” hyungwon asked, carefully and watched minhyuk guffaw out a short laugh.  

 

          “do you know what you and jooheon look like to me? like two small, lost babies that clutch at each other when no one else is around to lead you. rather than feeling insecure, i’m endeared that you show interest in kissing someone.”

 

          “but—“ this was what hyungwon felt embarrassed over. being caught in a corner of his own expectations and minhyuk’s reaction and not knowing what to do with his feelings. they shouldn’t stumble past his lips so hyungwon could keep himself guarded and safe and protected, but the pillow dropped from his fingers and in the smallest voice yet, hyungwon asked, “but don’t you want to kiss me instead?”  

 

that seemed to do something; minhyuk’s expression shifted again and he didn’t look amused anymore. his hands released their grip on hyungwon’s hips and slid around his waist instead, settling along his spine and on the small of his back. he wasn’t pushing or pulling, but luring him in subtly and hyungwon followed, found himself seated atop minhyuk’s thighs and their faces a breath away from each other.

 

          “is that what you want?” minhyuk asked. “do you want to kiss me just because you’re curious about kissing or do you want to kiss me because it’s me?”

 

          “i want to kiss you.” hyungwon said and a breath later that was exactly what he did.

 

he lingered with his trembling hands cupped against minhyuk’s cheeks and his lips pressed against a firm and warm mouth. the kiss with jooheon didn’t prepare him for what to do, it only made him very aware of how stiff he must feel, but minhyuk didn’t seem to mind. hyungwon could feel him smile against his lips, while he tentatively started to move his own, pressing the smallest of kisses against minhyuk’s mouth.

 

minhyuk wasn’t rushing, he simply met his slow and chaste pecks in favour, let hyungwon set the tempo while pulling him slightly closer with a hand splayed out between his shoulder blades. it was closer than they were last time. hyungwon felt strangely light as he allowed one hand to slide down to the crook between minhyuk’s neck and shoulder. there was no feeling of entrapment with him on top of minhyuk and despite the arms around him and keeping him close, the control minhyuk had given him made him feel more grounded.

 

feeling brave, he tilted his head, his lips between minhyuk’s and their kisses growing slightly more careless, more rushed. with his eyes closed, his other senses seemed hyperaware of everything; his ears were filled with their quiet breath, the rushing of blood, the rustling of covers. hyungwon found himself wanting to try and taste, but at the same time hopelessly frozen in minhyuk’s hold, with his fingers inching to curl in the red hair that he’d once dreaded so much. beneath him, minhyuk was more restless. he arched his back, pressed his chest against hyungwon’s and trailed his hands up his back to rest them against his shoulder blades. hyungwon thought nothing of it at first, until the smallest pull of the fabric of his nightgown alerted him to someone tugging on one of the ribbons. minhyuk’s fingers pulled and hyungwon felt the thin material slide along his shoulders, exposing more skin.

 

oddly enough, hyungwon didn’t mind. oddly enough, he felt a sense of power, an odd moment where his ego surged because minhyuk’s fingers slid across his skin and he _groaned_  against his mouth like he just got to taste the sweetest ripest fruit. a second later minhyuk pulled away, looked up at him with his pupils blown wide and his face a beautiful, vibrant pink — the colour of blooming azalea. it was the same expression he had worn last time, just before he had leaned in to kiss hyungwon’s face with the gentlest of pecks, only this time his expression didn’t waver or shift.

 

minhyuk ducked his head and brushed his nose against the side of hyungwon’s neck, inhaling. it was unprompted, but hyungwon tilted his head to the side anyway, felt the shuddering exhale against his skin before warm lips followed. he still had an iron hold on the hair at the back of minhyuk’s skull, still had his other hand curled against his neck and with all his might fought the desire to tug.

 

hands tugged him closer by the waist, blunt teeth grazing his skin and hyungwon, who had nothing else to go off of but pure instinct and gut feeling, couldn’t help but grind his hips. the effect of the action was instantaneous — from one moment to the other minhyuk detached from him, placed his hands on hyungwon’s shoulders and pushed his body backwards, bringing distance between them. a heavy drop of regret and anxiousness settled into the pit of his stomach, unsurprisingly cold against the cozy little fire that seemed to be setting his body aflame from within. hyungwon wanted to open his mouth and apologise for whatever it was that he had done wrong; and he would have, had it not been for minhyuk’s panting breaths and ink black eyes.

 

          “we should stop— here. we should stop here before i lose myself,” minhyuk admitted in a hoarse voice.

 

          “alright.” hyungwon surprised himself with the breathy and honeyed quality of his own voice, making him sound as if he was talking from somewhere deep within his chest. “alright, we’ll stop here.” his limbs were still shaky, too heavy and too light at once. minhyuk’s lips had filled his head with pink clouds that all made him feel like he was floating, but the desire laid heavy in his guts, pulling him down.

 

minhyuk seemed equally lost and frozen for a tense moment, before his hands gripped hyungwon’s waist and lifted him off his lap. the distance between them felt too cold, almost immediately. hyungwon watched the crown prince slide beneath the covers and settle in, while he sat still, feeling unsure whether to pretend whatever happened between them didn’t happen for the sake of putting a distance between them again. minhyuk must have noticed the forlorn look he was being given, since he grinned his sweet, midsummer smile and pulled the covers up to beckon hyungwon closer.

 

this wasn’t at all what he was expecting and it showed in his choppy and stiff movements, the way he curled up tight while facing minhyuk. the both of them just lay still, facing each other and staring for a few moments, before the crown prince burst out in soft, sweet laughter and cupped hyungwon’s cheek.

 

          “you look so lost. have you never cuddled before?” he mumbled.

 

          “only my mother, but i was really, really young then. i can barely remember.” at hyungwon’s answer minhyuk’s face turned strangely sad, despite the barely fading smile. he leaned in to press a soft peck against hyungwon’s lips, the tip of his nose, forehead and closed lids.

 

          “here— turn around.” minhyuk said. “i want to hold you.” he added a second later, when he noticed the slightly bemused expression on hyungwon’s face.

 

it was an odd feeling — to have minhyuk curl an arm around his waist and press up against his back. hyungwon could feel the warmth of his body and the steady beating of his heart against his back. there was warm breath against his nape that made him want to squirm, and the cool tip of minhyuk’s nose that tenderly brushed over the skin of his shoulder. he placed the softest kisses there, like the feathery touch of a butterfly’s wings.

 

a sadness threatened to stifle the warmth of the adoration he could feel growing from minhyuk’s side; sadness that he had missed out on all those touches, all those kisses and caresses. he had spend his life isolated and lonely and despite the three people that were close to him, his experience with relationships was awfully limited.

 

          “a flower.” minhyuk’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

 

          “what?” he half turned in an attempt to glance over his shoulder.

 

          “there’s a flower on your skin. a flower shaped birthmark.”

 

          “oh, that,” hyungwon commented and reached backwards to touch his shoulder. “it’s been there since i was born. it’s really peculiar, isn’t it?” minhyuk hummed and pressed a lingering kiss against the back of his right shoulder, just where hyungwon knew the flower shaped mark was.

 

          “it’s charming.” another kiss and minhyuk’s thumb started rubbing where it was resting against his stomach. “your skin is so charming to me, it reminds me of a summer we don’t have.” minhyuk seemed to mumble every word, but it was spoken with intention, with weight, and hyungwon couldn’t help but hold his breath and listen.

          “when i took you here with me, i felt like i was taking the warm rays of the sun with me. your skin looks kissed by the sun and it seems to have soaked up all the warmth. it makes me want to stay close to you.” hyungwon couldn’t help but smile at the words and finally allowed his eyes to drift shut. minhyuk shifted against him, pressed as close as possible and allowed his mouth to find rest against the back of hyungwon’s neck.

 

          “and i’ve been alone in this dark place for so long — maybe that’s why i’m so drawn to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the devil's snare, also known as thorn apple. symbolic for: deceitful charms


	9. polyanthus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon receives a cryptic letter and finally gets to talk with the grey haired stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i know i promised we'd be back to our regular posting schedule after my exams but the chapters are only going to get harder to write since a lot more things are happening and to avoid feeling stressed and forced to write i'll be updated every second week from now on,,,, bad thing is: you guys will have to wait longer. good thing is: flowers won't end as quickly :3

hyungwon sat in the pompous and splendidly decorated throne room, minhyuk on his left side and a lord he had never seen before on his right. the banquet was rich, ornate; freshly hunted venison stretched out amongst baked potatoes, baskets full of pastries and bread placed all around with goblets full to the brim with red wine. 

 

it was a banquet in the crown prince’s honour — or so he had been told. they were celebrating his marriage and the newly formed peace treaty, but the faces around him looked pinched, tense. there was a soft mumble that spread across the table, but all the words spoken were in the northern tongue and it felt every bit purposeful to the point where hyungwon didn’t dare try to understand anything. minhyuk had been mostly silent, spoke only when spoken to and wore a regal and calm face. changkyun looked as impassive and borderline bored as usual and hyungwon just hoped he didn’t appear as antsy as he felt. 

 

it was odd not to have jooheon around and not to be able to bask in his calming nature. minhyuk was next to him, but his proximity still often served more as an instrument to rile him up rather than any actual relief. still, minhyuk was one of the few familiar and friendly faced and he quickly found himself inching closer. 

 

right after breakfast, hyungwon had been instructed to get redressed and change into ceremonial wear, since the intention was to show the crown prince’s spouse off. he had settled for the clothes he had been married in, topped off with only the fur coat and tried to push aside thoughts of how sitting still for hours on end would definitely make him feel cold. 

 

after he got dressed, minhyuk came to pick him up and together they made their way to the throne room. the crown prince had warned him that it might be a tense affair; word about the beast attacks had gotten to most of the lordships and they might not look all too favourably upon him. hyungwon wasn’t exactly surprised to hear that. he had noticed the increasing apprehension amongst the servants and with every bit of newfound information he possessed, he could understand why they would doubt him. 

 

jooheon’s mother still remained warm and welcoming and jooheon always insisted to be stuck to his side, like glue, but the change amongst the rest of the staff was a noticeable one. 

 

and as he sat, gnawing on the inside of his cheek and with his fingers fidgeting nervously beneath the tablecloth, hyungwon felt the gap that had opened between him and the northerners increase. 

 

          “your highness,” hyungwon looked up once he heard the queen address him, slightly surprised to find her smiling politely, “how do you like our country so far?” from the corner of his eye he noticed a shift, a curious tension as the nobles attempted to appear apathetic, while simultaneously being hungry enough, waiting to pick each of his words apart and rip it to shreds. there was no battlefield that compared to a banquet in royal court, hyungwon thought. 

 

          “it’s exceptionally lovely,” hyungwon said and felt minhyuk turn to face him, “the mountains and snowy valleys are like nothing i’ve seen before.” it was the first time any of the lordships had seen him, the first time they heard him speak. hyungwon sat as proud and graceful as he could, with his chin held high, but face modest, just how he had been taught. he had done everything as instructed, yet the tension didn’t waver and another hushed whisper went along the length of the table, followed by a quiet and mocking cackle. 

 

in the middle of all the flaxen and light haired heads, the furs and the reds and browns and black fabrics, sat hyungwon. he was a thorn in their sides, a sore, ugly thumb that didn’t fit in. to them he was dirty and foreign. he was too dark, wore clothes too thin and flashy. it wasn’t until hyungwon had spend more time in the village at the foot of the hill that he realised how the northerners saw him. at best, he was an exotic flower. at worst, he was a dirty child. 

 

it made him sit in his bath and ponder one night, when he was alone with jooheon. he watched the servants pale hands move over his own skin and tried to imagine seeing himself from their perspective. he also thought about home and how a northerner would be seen in the south. to him, they all looked sickly pale and oddly cold; like a meadow covered in snow, or the milky sheen of the moon. they looked peculiar, but he knew that no one would call them dirty. 

 

why was he dirty, then?

 

all the luxury of him being out in the sun and basking in the warmth, while feeling ocean waves tickle at his toes took on a cursed note that he didn’t want to accept. a seed of doubt and a hint of shame were all it would take to ruin all his fond and beautiful memories and hyungwon didn’t want to allow that. 

 

a few times he thought of asking jooheon about it, whenever their hands touched and he saw the stark contrast. sometimes he thought of asking minhyuk, too, but the prince seemed to have said his peace already. late at night, he would always graze his fingers over hyungwon’s cheek, his bottom lip, his shoulder. he would inhale as if awestruck and whisper as if starstruck; _beautiful. you’re absolutely stunning, my peony_.

 

when he turned to minhyuk now and saw the smile grow on his lips, he knew it was adoration and hyungwon felt brave enough to reach for his hand beneath the table because of it. yet as soon as his eyes shifted down the table, he saw the pinched faces and haughty looks — all of them looking down on a _dirty boy_.

 

          “i’m pleased to hear that. maybe we should ride out together one day and chat for a bit. i’m sure i can show you one thing or other that my son hasn’t shown you yet.” the queen smiled and within her smile, hyungwon saw the same sweetness he learnt to appreciate in minhyuk. 

 

          “i would love to, your majesty.” and as if the small snippet of conversation had broken a dam, a woman sitting close by quite suddenly turned to hyungwon. 

 

          “why don’t you wear our colours, dear boy? are they not becoming to you?” minhyuk squeezed his hand but remained silent and hyungwon was glad about it. he refused to be seen as only the crown prince’s exotic decorative flower that he tucked into his breast pocket and carries around; he could speak for himself. 

 

          “i have no qualms with your clothes and traditions, my lady. i simply wish to preserve some of mine own to make being far away from home easier to bear.” hyungwon replied calmly.

 

          “aren’t you cold, your highness?” another lady asked and before hyungwon could open his mouth to reply, the lord sitting next to her spoke up.

 

          “he’s from the south, they have a thick skin from being surrounded by earth and soil, don’t you know? that’s why it’s so dark.” he sneered. hyungwon felt himself grow tense. he inhaled and was all too aware of all the eyes watching him, but it was of utmost importance for him to say the right things and show the right reactions. the king was keeping a close eye on him, no doubt, and so was the rest of the table. a lot of them, with bad intentions in mind, no doubt.   

 

the lord sitting next to him shifted to lean his elbows onto the table and although he was an elderly, short man, he still managed to look at hyungwon down the bridge of his nose. 

          “do you think your skin will fade? it might be exotic at first glance, but it surely is not the most flattering in the long run.” 

 

          “i am aware that the north is home to snowy planes and pale moonlight,” hyungwon started and was thankful that the tremor in his voice was barely audible, “and i had hoped its people would be aware that what the crown prince’s spouse would bring is vibrant colours and sunshine. i spend my whole life soaking up the warmth of the rays — do you not like the warmth, my lord?”

 

silence followed upon the unexpected discovery that the frail flower had thorns. 

 

minhyuk was the first one to move; he brought their joint hands to his lips and pressed a tender kiss against the back of hyungwon’s hand. 

          “we’re in the presence of an exceptionally bright sunflower, we should enjoy it, no?”

 

          “you two seem to have grown quite close,” the king spoke up. he raised a goblet to his lips and took a slow sip from the wine before continuing, “sharing a bed sure does wonders, hm?” it became increasingly harder to remain calm. hyungwon could feel the pace of his heart increase by the second and knew that his cheeks were most likely dusted a bright pink. 

 

it dawned on him then, very slowly, that their goal seemed to be riling him up. he was the _other_  in the room, the foreign thing, the unknown, and one way to gather strength was to draw a line. make it obvious just how different from them he was. unpredictable, even. foolish and naive.

 

          “a bed is for sleeping, only,” he knew that his smile looked overly sweet, but it was becoming increasingly harder to appear unaffected by the topic of conversation, “but we shared a lot of conversations everywhere else and i find it quite impossible not to grow fond of such a witty and caring prince in the process.”  

 

          “a bed is for sleeping only? should i be sending someone your way at night, my son?” the king bellowed out a laugh and the table followed, sans for hyungwon who only then realised what opportunity he had given the king to humiliate him.

 

          “father, i don’t approve of you treating my spouse this way.” minhyuk’s voice cut through the laughter like a blade and all too suddenly it all died down. hyungwon watched the king eye his son with scrutiny, an unreadable expression on his face and to his utter surprise, minhyuk didn’t waver.

 

          “ _you’re really fond of the boy, huh_?” the king asked in their language. 

 

          “yes.” minhyuk replied, without a second of hesitance. 

 

hyungwon’s heart did something it hadn’t done in a long time and never before around minhyuk; it skipped a single beat and attempted a summersault high up in his throat. he felt forced to swallow in order to make sure it remained in place and quite suddenly he couldn’t look at the king, or minhyuk or any of the lordship anymore, but turned to stare at the plate in front of him. someone might think he looked too coy, in that moment, showed too much of what was going on inside his head, but despite being taught how to mask his emotions, hyungwon had never stopped wearing his heart on his sleeve.  

 

          “of course, he is, you oaf. now leave them alone.” the queen spoke softly. 

 

the quiet murmur of conversation was picked up around him, but hyungwon wasn’t listening anymore. he glanced to the side and to his surprise, his eyes met minhyuk’s. months ago hyungwon thought he would hate him, today he found his heart beating to a soft rhythm that was directed by nothing but each flutter of minhyuk’s lashes, twitch of his lips and rise and fall of his chest. 

 

like so often in those moments, where minhyuk forgot they were in public and their intimate interactions could become a spectacle, he reached out to cup hyungwon’s cheek and brush his fingers across the soft skin. 

 

          ‘i like you.’ hyungwon thought. ‘i like you, i like you, _i like you_.’

 

          “ _i’m fond of you as well._ ” he said.

 

( by then he may have learned just how bright minhyuk’s smile could be, but it still didn’t fail to take his breath away. )

 

*

 

the early afternoon shifted into early evening. a sea of candles was illuminating the throne room, casting everything in a warm glow when hyungwon’s hands and knees hadn’t stopped shivering in hours. a servant had bought him a blanket to place over his lap and although the added material helped him not freeze, after hours and hours of sitting his body had grown cold. 

 

the supper ended long ago and many of the guests had gotten up from their seats to hold quiet and soft conversations amongst each other. minhyuk had excused himself minutes ago and was currently pulled into a conversation with his father and two lords, no doubt about political strategies. changkyun was nowhere to be seen and just when hyungwon thought of getting up and sneaking away unnoticed, as well, someone took a seat next to him, right where minhyuk had been sitting. 

 

          “you look like you’re freezing.” the queen commented before a warm hand landed on top of his. 

 

          “i may not have picked the appropriate garments for this banquet.” hyungwon admitted and turned to give her a tiny smile. it was the first time he found himself alone with the queen. there were a few instances where they had crossed paths, a few others where they exchanged brief conversation, but all of it happened with people around and other ears listening in. 

 

she reminded him a lot of minhyuk — or rather, he was a lot like his mother. but her tongue was sharper, quicker, her laugh more mischievous and less rare. she wasn’t the youngest, but she still had the spirit of a playful and curious forest nymph. 

 

          “they aren’t keeping you warm, but they certainly look wonderful.” she said.

 

          “i’m not so sure a lot of people here agree with your view, your majesty.” hyungwon couldn’t help but add quietly. her smile twitched for a moment and to his surprise she leaned in and clasped his hand between hers. she carried the fragrance of something dark but sweet with her and hyungwon immediately thought of his own mother and the scent of jasmines. 

 

          “things must be difficult for you still, but given the time, i’m sure everyone will adjust.” he gave her a nod, but remained silent. a heartbeat later she inhaled sharp and straightened her back with joyful energy. “here — let me tell you a story. when i became the crown prince’s spouse no one liked me much either. my father’s land is right at the border to the south and i loved to sneak into the forest and into the southern kingdom.” hyungwon’s eyes widened at the bold confession, but the queen only seemed more encouraged by his reaction. “i was really good at keeping hidden for a girl with flaming red hair. sadly, i never got far enough into the south to see the palace, but i’ve seen the flowers and the lush green fields and whenever i met any of the farmers they would give me fruits. they would always tell me my hair looks like i dipped it in dye made out of crushed roses, i think they liked it.” she laughed and surely enough, hyungwon laughed with her. 

 

it was easy with an energy as bright as hers; so careless and warm. she had the same moonlight skin as the others, but her hair made her look like a burning flame. hyungwon could just imagine the court’s disdain with a young, future queen that had the energy of a whirlwind and the vibrance of a flower. 

 

the king’s loud laughter interrupted their small moment and hyungwon found his attention shifting to his large frame before he turned back to the softly smiling queen. she seemed to be well aware what he was thinking and feeling — at least her smile told him as much. 

 

          “you mustn’t take his words to heart, dear child. my husband used to be a bright and open minded man, once, but time and experience are harsh lessons that can turn anyone to stone. he’s become a lot more stubborn now, with age. but i suppose that’s just how it is with men in powerful positions, they always grow more stubborn with age.” she sighed in a dramatic fashion before flashing him a smile. “how are you going to handle my son, hm?”

 

          “i’m not worried, your majesty.” hyungwon started, “i think minhyuk will resemble you most when he grows old.” the queen didn’t say anything, but her sharp features shifted into something particularly pleased. she was so subtle and sneaky that it didn’t occur to him, until then, that she could have been testing him. 

 

          “your highness.” one of the servants stepped closer and when hyungwon turned to face the boy, he was handed a letter. the queen pulled back and got up to give hyungwon some privacy. the envelope was decorated with the royal seal and while hyungwon had sent many letters home, he had yet to receive a reply. his heart immediately started to flutter, anticipation and joy collecting in his chest as his trembling hands carefully opened the letter. 

 

the scent of summer greeted him. hyungwon inhaled deeply, before the waft of the sea breeze and petals could diminish into the icy air, then finally pulled out the letter. 

 

even before his eyes registered the words, he could recognise his mother’s handwriting. the smile that had appeared on his face after receiving the letter very quickly faded however and was exchanged with a deep frown, instead. 

 

the letter was short and no matter how often hyungwon read and re-read the two sentences, he couldn’t make much sense of it. he turned the paper around and found it empty, turned it back and slowly and carefully repeated the words inside his head.

 

_be careful. don’t trust anyone_.

 

*

 

          “are you sure you don’t want to come with me? my mother baked some pastries.” _again_. hyungwon could hear the word without it even leaving jooheon’s mouth and shook his head. 

 

          “no, thank you. i’m going to study a bit more while there’s still light. besides i feel like every time i go into the kitchen all she does is stuff me full with food.” he said. jooheon just grinned and reached out to pinch hyungwon’s side, letting out a brief cackle when the prince yelped softly and shifted away.

 

          “you seem to have gained some weight, though! you’re finally round faced and soft.” jooheon laughed and wrapped his arms around hyungwon’s waist, almost causing both of them to stumble over each other’s feet. after many months hyungwon had grown accustomed to jooheon being attached to him at the hip and that’s quite where he liked to keep him, usually.

 

          “i knew this was your plan all along. you just wanted something soft to hold on to,” hyungwon teased and half heartedly tried to nudge jooheon away. 

 

          “maybe!” he quipped in reply and finally released the prince, only to turn the corner at the next staircase and start heading down. “i’ll hurry up helping my mother and then be prepared to share some pastries in minhyuk’s bed!” 

 

          “i don’t think he’ll approve!” hyungwon called after him, but jooheon’s quick steps had already grown more faint. he continued his way along the corridor, humming quietly beneath his breath as he so often did when he found himself walking the castle alone. it wasn’t like home, where everything was open windows and light, with the constant buzz of people close by. the northern castle was much larger and filled with many twists and turns and nooks, many empty spaces. they intimidated hyungwon in a way that a child was intimidated by the great unknown. 

 

the letter he received a few weeks ago didn’t make it any easier, either. 

 

hyungwon had replied to his mother, asking for an explanation, but nothing else from the south came. it was odd and it made him terribly nervous, terrified even. the letter was almost perfectly timed with the first time he met the grey haired stranger and while hyungwon was itching for answers, he felt antsy at the thought of meeting him again. 

 

he climbed one flight of stairs and right before he was about to reach the corridor leading to minhyuk’s room, a peculiar gust of wind hit the back of his neck and made the small hairs at the back of his neck stand on end. hyungwon stopped, placed one hand against the cool, stone wall of the winding staircase and turned to glance over his shoulder. nothing greeted him, except silent darkness. the feeling of being watched, similar to the one he had when they were travelling in the carriage, didn’t waver.

 

the thudding of his heart grew louder, more uneasy with each step hyungwon took. in a slow gait, he reached the top of the staircase and peaked around the corner as if he was expecting to see someone. the corridor was deserted; void of guards and staff alike, which wasn’t all too usual this close to the crown prince’s quarters. 

 

the nervousness was starting to morph into an unreasonable wish to make a dash for minhyuk’s room — hyungwon had no reason to feel any sort of anxiety or fear, but the unresolved tension that filled the air made the potential danger almost palpable. 

 

he would have started running — he actually would have — had a sudden, soft yip not alerted him to who and what it was that was watching him. 

 

right behind him, sitting just at his ankles, was a tiny, grey wolf. almost immediately, his body relaxed visibly and hyungwon heaved an audible sigh of relief. the wolf pup yipped again and started running in the opposite direction of minhyuk’s room. hyungwon hovered by the staircase for another heartbeat or two, before his legs started leading the way. 

 

the pup led him to a part of the castle he hadn’t been in before. along yet another staircase and further down a long, lonely corridor. they stopped at a small, but old door and while hyungwon struggled to pull it open, the puppy entered. the inside of the room was dusty, but warm. a lone fire was burning in the fireplace and right in front of it, stood the grey haired stranger. 

 

he turned when the door finally fell shut behind the prince, but instead of saying anything to hyungwon, his eyes fell to the pup. 

 

hyungwon watched with unconcealed interest and slight amazement as the stranger lifted his arm towards the wolf pup and with a small beckon of his fingers, the tiny beast disappeared into smoke. the soft dull ache in the back of his shoulder was back again, but hyungwon tried his hardest to ignore it. 

 

          “you came.” the man said to him. his voice was like soft wisps of smoke and hyungwon would be lying if he said it didn’t calm him down immensely — it helped that he spoke in their native tongue.

 

          “an old friend brought me here.” hyungwon replied and slowly stepped closer. the man smiled; it was as lopsided as last time, but his amusement was clear. 

 

          “you don’t seem very surprised to learn what i am.” and hyungwon wasn’t. not when their first meeting was so long ago and hyungwon spend night and days in puzzlement and without any clarity about what it was that was going on — the only thing he knew for certain was that the man he met had to have been a summoner. 

 

          “i’ve had a lot of time to think and with the beast that appeared simultaneously as you, it wasn’t all that hard to come to this conclusion.” he paused for a moment, before adding, “i know _what you are_  and it doesn’t scare me, but i would like to know _who_  you are.” the summoner nodded; once, twice. he seemed deep in thought for a few seconds before surprising hyungwon by coming closer. 

 

he covered the distance between them with ease and hyungwon, strangely enough, didn’t feel the need to avoid him or step back. from up close, hyungwon could see the moles on his face, the faded gold of his skin. like coins that had become dull with mistreatment. his hair looked strangely violet-grey even from a close distance and hyungwon tried his best not to stare and meet his eyes. 

 

          “i’ve seen you from much further away, a long time ago.” there was an odd note of affection in his voice that didn’t belong there, in hyungwon’s mind. they were strangers, yet the summoner looked and talked to him as if they had known each other well. “when i was young and you were really little. the queen still had to carry you in her arms and even back then, i could already feel that we had a connection. that we’d meet again.”

 

a shiver ran down hyungwon’s spine and the dull ache started to grow into a hot throb that was becoming increasingly harder to ignore.

          “you still haven’t told me who you are.” 

 

          “my name matters little—“

 

          “it matters to me.” hyungwon insisted softly and watched the hint of surprise become visible on the summoner’s face. “your name is your identity, so it matters to me.”

 

          “yoo kihyun, your majesty.” kihyun replied. hyungwon didn’t bother to correct his use of the wrong title this time and focused on the name instead. as expected, it rang no bells. 

 

          “why do you want to talk to me, yoo kihyun?”

 

          “because i think you’re the only one left who can help us.”

 

          “with ‘us’ you mean the summoners, correct?” kihyun nodded and turned to the chaise lounge that was placed close to the fireplace. it was dusty and dirty, but hyungwon took a seat just before kihyun fell in place next to him. kihyun sat close, but seemed to keep a conscious enough distance for them to avoid touching. 

 

          “you’ve probably already heard some stories about what happened from the north, haven’t you?” hyungwon nodded. “but as you probably know, there’s always more sides to the truth than one. let me tell you the story of our origins.” in the dingy, dusty and stuffy room hyungwon felt himself slipping into a familiar, homey comfort. he watched kihyun’s face, as the summoner turned away to watch the softly crackling fire. the light illuminated his face and cast haunting shadows over the sharp planes of his cheeks. he was on the edge of looking gaunt.

 

          “many ages ago, magic used to be more accepted. summoners lived amongst our people, peacefully, but eventually some of the rulers started to worry. the amount of power that we had exceeded that of average humans and some people started to fear what would happen if we tried to use it to overpower them. the tension started growing and summoners became more careless, perhaps more assertive, too. it was a mistake to lose patience instead of trying to solve things peacefully, but the consequences were even more dire.” kihyun paused and catching a movement from the fireplace, hyungwon turned his head to watch the puffs of smoke collect and form into a tiny, but slowly growing cloud. “they started to kill us, hunt us down and burn us. we went from being one of the blessed ones to being cursed by the gods. we became marked.” 

 

the smoke started to shift and form pictures, sceneries. within them, hyungwon swore he could recognise home — the wide planes and the shape of their capital. he realised that those were kihyun’s memories.

 

          “all those years they said that we were eradicated. that there were no more summoners, no more monsters, but the truth is that we’ve existed in hidden all this time. the high priestesses were against the murder of innocent people and the king from back then had been replaced by a queen. they allowed us to exist, as long as we would comply to the treatment we were subjected to. it was harsh, meant to break the spirit and turn us into pliant, passive _things_. they suppressed our magic and instead of becoming summoners, we remained marked humans. the official story is that as long as we remained peaceful and untainted we wouldn’t become summoners, but denying ourselves our birthright felt suffocating to some of us.” 

 

          “does that mean…” hyungwon spoke up softly and waited for kihyun to face him to continue, “does that mean that summoners aren’t  _ born _ summoners?”

 

          “not according to other people’s labels, no.” kihyun explained. his mouth twitched into half a grin again before he reached up and brushed a hand through his hair. it was the colour of smoke. hyungwon finally found himself able to pin it down. “according to them, before we fully allow ourselves to succumb to magic use, we’re just marked humans. once we take on the role of summoners, it’s impossible not to spot us. our appearance changes.”

 

          “your hair reflects your magic.” hyungwon whispered, amazement audible in his voice. kihyun nodded and dropped his hand to his lap.

 

          “it used to be black like yours, at one point.” 

 

          “then what happened? you decided to embrace your gift?” kihyun’s smile turned warm, the edges of his eyes crinkling at hyungwon’s use of the word ‘gift’. subconsciously, he found himself smiling back.

 

          “me and a few other people decided that enough is enough. but since we rebelled, we couldn’t stay. we broke the rules of our pact with the south and we had to leave and go into hiding. crossing the border to flee into the north was harsh — none of us were prepared for the cold, or staying in the woods. it’s easier to stay hidden in the north, but it’s not easy to hide in the north. i’m sure you had your troubles, too, in the beginning.” 

 

          “i did. i can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you. but—” hyungwon paused to gnaw on his bottom lip, feeling troubled. what he heard was horrible, but what he still couldn’t grasp was why kihyun would risk so much just to sneak into the castle to talk to him. “how can _i_  help? i’m only the crown prince’s spouse and my word doesn’t weight much, here in the north. i’m sure if you returned south now—“ kihyun started shaking his head, “— mother would be willing to help you out.” 

 

          “we can’t, your majesty. no one wants us. we’re monsters.”

 

          “but—“ 

 

          “please, help us.” kihyun implored again. hyungwon felt his resolve crumble helplessly; the pain in his shoulder was throbbing and burning and slowly spreading. for a moment hyungwon feared that he might have been poisoned. 

 

          “i want to, but i don’t know how. i don’t know how to fix this. when i mentioned summoners to the crown prince he—” loud clatter interrupted him, made hyungwon turn towards the door. it sounded like heavy armour trotting along the stone corridors and hyungwon only then remembered that he was supposed to meet jooheon in minhyuk’s room. “they’re looking for me.” he whispered and turned back to kihyun who was already standing up. 

 

          “our conversation is cut short again.” he turned towards the fireplace and beckoned the shifting shapes of smoke towards him. they spread and grew in size and the same wolf-like beast hyungwon had encountered twice before was suddenly standing in front of them. “at least we got to talk a bit more than before.” 

 

          “i want to help you, kihyun.” hyungwon quite suddenly declared and when the summoner turned to him it was with an equally hopeful, yet sad expression. “i’m going to do whatever i can to help. whatever some people might have done wrong, death is not the right way solve anything.” 

 

          “thank you, your majesty. i’ll be praying for you.” kihyun replied with a smile. the fire had died down and hyungwon only then noticed that the room had started to become quite chilly. 

 

          “i’ll go on ahead.” the prince whispered and turned to leave the room and the summoner behind. something was odd and he couldn’t quite place his finger on it. when he closed the door behind himself and met kihyun’s eyes one last time, he could hear the summoner’s peculiar words echoing inside his head once again.

 

‘i’ll be praying for you.’

 

*

 

the explanation that he had wandered off to explore the castle appeased jooheon, but not quite minhyuk who seemed unable to shake the frown off his face. 

 

          “i was very worried about you. please, don’t do such a reckless thing again.” he had said and left. 

 

now it was hours later and jooheon had finished getting him ready for bed when minhyuk entered his room as well. his frown was gone, but his expression still looked pensive. hyungwon felt guilty, but couldn’t shake off the tiredness that had taken over his own bones. the throbbing pain in the back of his shoulder didn’t stop, not even hours after he had met the summoner. the burning sensation had spread and covered his whole body, like tiny pin needles that were just waiting to burst through his skin. 

 

minhyuk changed out of his clothes and hyungwon got into bed and laid down while he washed himself quickly. he felt incredibly drained, his body burning and heavy, yet he found no sleep even with his eyes closed. it felt as if something heavy was lying on his chest that made it harder to breath, leaving hyungwon tossing and turning to find a comfortable position. 

 

          “hyungwon,” minhyuk’s voice seemed to break through to him as if pushing through thick mist and despite being unable to fall asleep, hyungwon’s eyelids felt heavy when he pried them open to meet his eyes. “are you alright?” hyungwon wanted to nod, but his head felt like lead. he reached up, brushed the back of his hand across his forehead and gave a noncommittal hum. 

 

          “i think i might be getting sick.” 

 

          “maybe it’s because you keep wandering off into cold parts of the castle, hm?” minhyuk shot back almost immediately, but despite the slight disapproval in his tone, hyungwon could feel him scoot closer. his gentle hands touched his cheeks, cupped them and turned hyungwon’s head until he was looking at him. “you do feel a bit warm. try to get some rest tonight and if it’s no better by tomorrow morning, i’m taking you to the alchemists.” hyungwon managed a nod before minhyuk leaned in to press a kiss against his nose.

 

but sleep didn’t come.

 

not even hours later when minhyuk’s even in- and exhales filled the room, when the moon was at its peak and staring at hyungwon through the windows. the fire was burning in the fireplace, but hyungwon felt freezing cold and burning hot at once. 

 

something was terribly wrong; his heart was racing and the heaviness atop his chest didn’t disappear, neither did the pain above his birthmark. perhaps someone had poisoned him after all, hyungwon concluded. perhaps it was a northerner or perhaps it was kihyun and perhaps he wouldn’t even live until next morning. 

 

yet, despite his fears, he couldn’t find it in him to wake minhyuk and alert him to his state of mind. he couldn’t bring himself to speak and felt the edge of a sob clog his throat. 

 

_i’ll be praying for you_ , kihyun had said and in that moment, hyungwon hoped the summoner did. he clasped his own hands together in front of his lips and tried to find peace in his mind, in the lingering presence of the goddess he always felt somehow. but the white noise didn’t come, the clouds in his mind didn’t dissolve and with each passing second hyungwon felt himself grow weaker instead. 

 

a buzz filled his head — like a swarm of bees or a mass of people, all whispering words he couldn’t quite catch and didn’t understand. he thought he could hear his mother’s voice somewhere amongst all of that and he thought he managed to open his eyes and catch the sun rising through the window of the room. the warmth touched his face and the rays felt almost like a caress, the gentle whisper of his mother’s voice in his ear, the familiar scent of jasmine and the memory of the meadow of flowers all came back at once. 

 

finally, hyungwon felt himself drift out of consciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this week's meaning of the flower: pride of riches
> 
> also feel free to tell me what you think is going on with hyungwon uwu


	10. marigold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon wakes up and his world is turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so,,,,,,, im gonna be real with you chief this chapter is very sad but Uh it can only get better from here on right?
> 
> also: a friend of mine drew a little something based on an outfit i tweeted about which totally looks like something hyungwon would wear and here it is :3 https://twitter.com/sigh0nara/status/1004416695409053696

it felt as though hyungwon had just closed his eyes and drifted off when jooheon’s voice reached him. hyungwon managed to open his eyes and catch sight jooheon’s ashen face, but it felt as though a thick layer of gauze had been wrapped over his ears that made it impossible to catch a single word. the pain in his back was agonising and hyungwon didn’t want to move, didn’t even want to be conscious. but jooheon didn’t seem to catch on and with urgency the manservant never displayed in such a form before, he pulled the prince’s body up. 

 

from up close, jooheon looked _something_. he looked something that jooheon — sunshine and sun-rays and brightness of the warm midday — had never looked before and immediate panic shot into hyungwon’s stomach as a consequence. his eyelids still felt too heavy to control and force to stay open, but jooheon’s hands felt deadly cold against his cheeks and finally — as if the whisper had to reach him from across the mountains — hyungwon heard what he said.

 

          “you have to get dressed immediately. the king wants to see you.” 

 

there was no time for oils or a quick sponge bath; jooheon tugged back the covers and didn’t even wait long enough for hyungwon to slip out of bed before he started tugging at his nightgown. hyungwon didn’t mind much, his body was still aching and burning and freezing cold. as if he had spent the whole night lying buried beneath an avalanche of snow. 

 

minhyuk was neither in bed, nor in his room, but a glance out of the window showed the dark, grey-violet morning sky. 

 

everything in him was leaden and slow and drained of all energy, but his heart continued to beat up a panicked frenzy that hyungwon had nothing to blame on. 

 

jooheon didn’t bother with his hair, but wrapped the white fur tightly around his shoulders and pulled him out of the room with haste. hyungwon was tugged past hushed whispers and a gloomy excitement that filled the usually so calm and cold castle. even more eyes were on him than usual and when they finally reached the throne room, jooheon’s hands squeezed around his with all might. 

 

hyungwon stepped inside the room feeling no better than last night, but he tried not to stumble and walk proper and straight. his whole body was itching and burning as if acid was pumping through his veins and the surreality of the whole situation made him question if he wasn’t perhaps still dreaming. 

 

the royal family stood gathered in the throne room, with each of the princes on either of his sides. minhyuk looked like he was struggling not to reach out for him and changkyun couldn’t look up to meet his eyes. he looked strangely uncomfortable. 

 

hyungwon met the queen’s eyes first, but looked away as soon as he recognised the emotion in her eyes as pity. was he that unbecoming of a sight? it must have been obvious from his face that he was feeling unwell, yet every face in the royal family seemed almost translucently pale that morning. like statues made of marble. 

 

          “a… message just reached us.” the king started. hyungwon already felt faint, short of breath. like each inhale he took did nothing to fill his chest. like a fish, drowning in water. “the queen of the south is dead.” 

 

from one second to the other there seemed to be a moment of complete and utter clarity. like a single drop of water had fallen into a poisoned well and cleared the murky water, hyungwon suddenly felt wide awake. his head was cleared of the fog inside and all the pain was focused on a single spot right over the back of his shoulder.

 

          “excuse me?” hyungwon heard himself say. his voice sounded like a broken exhale, foreign to his own ears. 

 

          “i’m very sorry for your loss, boy. my deepest condolences.” 

 

          “what… hap—“ 

 

          “apparently, she was murdered.” 

 

but i felt her just this morning, hyungwon wanted to say. just this morning with the rising sun, he could feel her touch and inhale the scent of flowers. she was still there, far away but fresh enough in his memory with the last time he saw her and the letter he received. she was a presence in his life that continued to lead and influence him even from a distance. each of his memories with her were lessons he applied to his life now that he had to lead his own, all alone. 

 

the last time he saw her she was smiling. the last time he saw her — just months ago — she was alive and well and hugging him close. 

 

it didn’t make sense — hyungwon’s lips parted to tell the king those exact words, but what fell past his mouth was a single, loud sob and all of a sudden the overwhelming pain returned. 

 

breaking down felt a bit like a numb, out of body experience. hyungwon could feel himself press shaky fingers to his face, he felt the tears fall and his knees collapse beneath him. he was crouching, curled up on the ground with his forehead pressed tightly against his knees. someone had killed his mother. her smile flashed before his inner eye, like a moment caught on portrait. _someone killed her_. but he could still hear her voice, watched her face move as she spoke to him in front of his inner eye and all of a sudden, every single memory with her flashed across his mind. like a last attempt at happiness, a last attempt to memorise every single moment he couldn’t return to. with it came also the realisation that those memories were all he had left. 

 

it wasn’t real, it didn’t happen, his mind tried to argue, but the only sound that reached his ears were his own wails and the word ‘mother’. 

 

fingers tugged at his tightly curled fists, unfurled the white knuckled fingers and pulled on hyungwon’s stiff arms. he recognised minhyuk’s voice close to his ear and felt a calming hand stroke the back of his head, yet couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes. his hands and feet started to tingle with numbness. 

 

he lost all feelings of consciousness, lost control of his body and only registered as if through a thick veil, that minhyuk was trying to pull him back. the crown prince cupped his cheeks and tried to wipe the never-ending flow of tears. hyungwon pried his eyes open and saw his blurry outlines, swore he could see minhyuk’s lips tremble, but even he seemed at a loss for words. 

 

          “i’m so, _so_  sorry.” minhyuk finally whispered and the words only served as recognition that it had happened. it had happened and hyungwon had lost the source of his strength, the light he followed and paved his path after. 

 

minhyuk pressed him close again, hugged hyungwon’s body tight against his chest and whispered, “i’m really sorry.” into his hair.

 

_i don’t need your sorry_ , hyungwon could hear himself think, _i just need my mother to be alive._

 

*

 

they lead him back to minhyuk’s room and eventually the uncontrollable wailing died down. hyungwon wasn’t sure how many hours passed, but the tears didn’t stop stubbornly rolling down his cheeks every now and then, as he sat curled up in front of the fireplace. 

 

there were two trays with food and water and tea next to him, but hyungwon hadn’t touched any of it. he had barely moved. the pain he felt in his body, the burning and itching of his skin, felt minuscule in comparison to the wide, gaping hole that opened in his chest. 

 

hyungwon was stupefied. 

 

he had dug up his mother’s letter from weeks ago and trailed his fingers over the dried ink, brought the paper closer to his mouth to inhale in the hopes of catching the last, lingering scent of jasmine. her letter had been a warning not to trust anyone. now, weeks later, she was dead. assassinated. 

 

none of it made any sense and as much as hyungwon was dying to press for details, he didn’t know whom to ask. 

 

jooheon had left a while ago and minhyuk had remained by his side until moments prior, where he whispered something about getting a calming draught from the alchemists. in that moment, hyungwon cared little what he did or what would be done to him. no potion in the world could change what had happened. 

 

mindlessly, he reached over his right shoulder, blunt nails scratching at the source of the burning and the itch. it didn’t ease the pain, every movement he made only seemed to increase it. like the poison in his blood had filled his whole body and was trying to ooze out of his pores. the urge to scratch at his skin increased, but the relief that it brought lasted mere seconds. 

 

mindlessly, he continued to dig his nails into his skin, mindlessly he wiped at the stray tears that fell from his eyes. it was all involuntary, thoughtless. his fingers travelled to his nape, started to scratch at his skull as the burning became more and more unbearable. 

 

it felt as if the roots of his hair were set on fire, each and every one of them, and hyungwon’s body didn’t find rest until he dug both of his hands into the skin of his scalp and _scratched_. everything was throbbing, his birthmark, his temples, his head. the pain grew and hyungwon’s fingers became more insistent despite the pain and just when he thought to have found some relief, something beneath his fingers started to peel away. 

 

immediately his eyes were wide open. 

 

a single, pale pink petal fell from his head and onto his knee. he pulled his hand back and saw two stuck to his palm, one to his forefinger. with his other hand, he pinched one of the petals between his fingers and brought it closer to inspect. from up close, it looked like the blossom of a cherry tree, but even when he tilted his head back, hyungwon didn’t see where it could have come from. with the back of his hand, he wiped over his eyes to chase away the remaining blurriness and the last of his tears, in the hopes he would regain clarity over the sudden appearance of cherry blossoms. 

 

maybe it was an illusion, he thought at first, a sign from the goddess. a sign from his mother. but then he shifted and more petals fell from his head and hyungwon felt a lingering sense of dread, along with a slowly approaching realisation. 

 

hesitantly, he reached up to pull his fingers through his hair and felt the skin of his scalp peel away with the movement. in his panic and confusion, he sat still for another moment before turning to the tray of tea and water next to him and placing them away. his reflection in the metal was unclear and distorted but instead of the black, unruly waves of hair that he was very certain were still there this morning, he saw pale pink. thinking his head was covered by the petals he shook it wildly, ran his free hand over it and felt the velvet consistency of the flower beneath his palm. they fell onto the carpet beneath him, fell onto his legs and shoulders yet when he took another look into the tray he saw pink again. 

 

the pain in his body had finally started to ease away, but nothing seemed any more clear. hyungwon felt as if he was caught in a dream, a reality where nothing made sense and everything was changing uncontrollably. he placed the tray down next to him again and got up onto shaky legs, to walk over to the dressing room that was attached to minhyuk’s room. the mirror that was propped up against the wall there, showed him the same thing the tray had, only much more clear and much more real. 

 

his face looked pale, dark circles, swollen eyes and a dullness to his skin made him look sick, yet none of it was as odd or unexplainable as the cherry blossoms that looked as if they were growing out of his head. 

 

now, in front of the mirror, hyungwon tried to pick and peel them away, to look for dark strands underneath the pink mess, but there seemed to be no end to it. he scratched at his skull till it started to hurt and pulled at the hair he could feel, but not see until the ground around him was covered in ripped and crushed cherry blossoms. 

 

          “no.” hyungwon whispered when he finally saw what laid beneath them. “not now, please—“ the previously dark hair had turned the same pink as the blossoms of a cherry tree. the irony of it all was the numbness he felt when faced with a realisation that had already creeped into his subconsciousness since his last conversation with kihyun. it had settled there like a seed eager to grow and now that hyungwon was looking at the ripe fruits he couldn’t find anything but emptiness within him. 

 

slowly he lowered himself onto his knees and sat back against his haunches, his trembling fingers carefully reaching up to touch the pink strands of hair. was it a sign from the gods that they gave him access to his gift at the same time they took his mother? was it a prank? a punishment? he thought of the meadow, his mother’s voice and the flowers that seemed to pull towards them — towards _him_. he remembered her shielding hands clasped over his ears, pulling him close and protecting him from the raised voices of his father and the high priestesses. things he thought long forgotten resurfaced and played in front of his inner eye in brief flashes of memory. 

 

his lessons started when he was very young, but his mother never stopped apologising for them, kissing his bruised knuckles and pressing a cool hand against the back of his shoulder. she called him her gift and called him gifted when whispers of a curse started to reach him. back then hyungwon was told not to listen. 

 

he wasn’t the less favoured son but the way he was treated was different — it all fell into place as easy as pieces of a puzzle. they didn’t want him to know about the war, about the summoners; they didn’t want him to know about what he truly was in the hopes of keeping the gift suppressed forever. had it not been for kihyun it probably would have. 

 

‘ _i will pray for you_.’

 

he had known, hadn’t he? but how did he expect hyungwon to help him, to help his own country, knowing fully well that he would be viewed as nothing but a traitor? his mother’s letter still didn’t make the most sense, but hyungwon was starting to think that she knew the summoners would come for him and she knew, better than anyone else, what being around them would do to him and what consequences that would carry. 

 

and now he was all alone, stuck in a country that would condemn him and left without the guidance, without the direction his mother had always brought him. 

 

hyungwon clasped his hands together and closed his eyes — he thought of his home and his mother, of his people, of the northerners and of the summoners. all his life he had aspired to be like his mother. he had dreamed of being the one to bring his kingdom together with a strong heart and pure words, preach hope and peace and mend the ties that were broken. but how was he supposed to mend any ties when he was part of the problem that drove the two kingdoms apart?

 

from far away he could hear minhyuk’s steady and confident steps echo against the empty corridor. he inhaled the scent of jasmine and exhaled the heavy drowsiness that had settled over his body. all this time, he had someone to protect him. he had been treated like a fragile flower beneath a glass bell, even far away into the north and despite all of his attempts to stand up for himself, he had never shed the skin of a child. he had never made his sacrifices, he had always been shielded — from the truth, from any dangers and himself, but now that he had shed his skin, there was no more hiding. 

 

the door to minhyuk’s room opened and hyungwon knew what he had to do. he pushed himself onto his feet and turned to face the entrance of the dressing room.

 

          “hyungwon? what are you doing in th—“ minhyuk stopped by the door and hyungwon watched his open and kind eyes turn to stone. he watched his whole expression harden and felt his own nails dig into his palms. all this time he had been small and frail and rabbit hearted, but those days had been counted. there was no one to save him but himself. 

 

hyungwon lifted his chin and minhyuk pulled his sword, pointed the sharp tip right at his heart and spit the cursed words at hyungwon like venom: “summoner. _traitor_.”

 

the urge to cry and beg and explain was strong; hyungwon would wish for nothing more than to throw himself onto minhyuk’s feet and pray for forgiveness — as if his mere existence was a sin that needed to be forgiven — but those were the actions of a helpless and hopeless child and hyungwon was neither. 

 

your majesty, kihyun had called him. it was time hyungwon allowed himself to fit into the title and wear it with pride. without showing even as much as a tremor in his voice, hyungwon spoke up.

 

          “as the second prince of the southern kingdom and the spouse of the crown prince of the north, i demand a trial.” 

 

*

 

thick, heavy metal cuffs were clasped firmly around his wrists. his arms were crossed at his back, the expensive fur cloak that had been a gift taken away as the guards nudged him into the direction of the king. from one moment to the other — and without as much as batting an eyelash — hyungwon had become a criminal. 

 

it hurt; of course, it hurt. watching the twinkle of affection in minhyuk’s eyes die away, feeling the trust that they had spend months building up diminish into nothing was painful. hyungwon wished he could undo that pain or take all of it upon his own shoulders, but the damage had been done. many whispers were shared amongst the staff, fingers pointing at him as the guards pulled him along and amongst all of them hyungwon was aching for one familiar and sweet face as much as he was dreading it. 

 

in the end he was forced to kneel on the harsh, cold ground, in front of the king’s throne. minhyuk came to a stand next to him and hyungwon lowered his pale pink head like a sinner that was waiting to burn. 

 

he was shaking and shivering and terrified, but as soon as he heard the king raise from his throne and take menacing steps closer, hyungwon lifted his head and met his gaze straight on. 

 

          “was all of this your plan from the very beginning, hm?” the king asked. his voice was dangerously low, like the muffled growl of a bear. “infiltrate our castle from within and when the time comes you show your true self to us and take over?”

 

          “no, none of this was—” 

 

          “then how do you explain the events that took place within just one day? _what_  was it—“ the king’s voice grew louder, colour rising to his face in an angry flush as he stopped mere steps away from hyungwon. “— that lured this tainted, disgusting image out of you and onto the surface? or have you been able to control this change the whole time and we were just too blind to see?” 

 

          “i didn’t know what i was myself, until today.” hyungwon attempted to explain but his quiet voice seemed to fall on deaf ears.

 

          “i _know_  that you have been disappearing from time to time and that inexplicably no one knew were you went. you didn’t want to tell us either, so is this what you were hiding from us, _summoner_?”

 

          “i keep telling you, i didn’t know!” 

 

          “and after everything you expect us to believe you?” minhyuk’s quiet voice cut through him like sharp ice. no feelings filtered through his words, no emotion audible in the way he spoke. 

 

it wasn’t fair. hyungwon had hid kihyun’s existence from them, but aside from protecting someone he knew would be killed otherwise, he had always been truthful. somehow, he had expected minhyuk to know that. he had expected him to _see_. 

 

( after their moments in bed together, where he found himself laid completely bare, their skin hot and sticky and brushing against each other, sharing heated kisses and stifled moans, hyungwon had thought that minhyuk _knew_  him. that he saw hyungwon for who he was. )

 

now minhyuk stood next to him, looking more cold and frigid then the white mountaintops hyungwon could see from the windows of the castle’s highest room. he was a terrifying sight. 

 

( hyungwon wondered if minhyuk was aware that he held his life in one hand and his heart in the other. a perfect balance, yet even if he were to spare one, the other would undoubtedly be broken. he could and would not blame him; if hyungwon had had more time, he was certain he could have slowly started to change minhyuk’s mind about summoners. but the timing of his exposure was the worst imaginable and with the attacks that kept happening, everything would continue to be pinned onto hyungwon. he could understand why minhyuk would feel betrayed. )

 

hyungwon swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, his eyes searching the kindness and warmth he had learnt to associate with minhyuk.

          “i expected you to believe me.” he said and although there was a shift in minhyuk’s face, the grin that played on his lips was bitter at best. a humourless laugh left his throat and he turned his head away from hyungwon, showing very clearly that his sight alone seemed to repulse him. 

 

          “are you aware what we do with summoners, here in the north?” the king asked. hyungwon didn’t even have the time to give a reply before he continued, “we behead them.” 

 

there was a second in which everything seemed to come to a halt. inside hyungwon’s head, his surroundings seemed to pause, like time was holding its breath. he had never been a fighter, he had always eventually given in and allowed himself to be led, passive like a blade of grass in whirling wind. what the king had said sounded final and for the briefest moment hyungwon thought about how he had nothing left to do but submit. yet resignation wasn’t what followed and instead hyungwon could feel the tiniest flame of resistance burning within his body, as if the very same burning sensation that had taken over his body had finally settled in right where it belonged. 

 

he had to fight; not only for himself, but for his family, for peace between the countries, for the many lives that were at stake if another war, another witch hunt were to happen. failing, giving in and resigning were no options and hyungwon was painfully aware. he squared his shoulders and lifted his chin and with all the confidence he could muster, he spoke up.

          “i have done nothing wrong. i have never hurt a soul in my life and if you want to kill me, you wouldn’t be carrying out a punishment, you would simply become a murderer.” 

 

          “that’s very bold, coming from a monster.” the king’s face only turned more scarlet. veins were popping up on his forehead, lips pulled into an angry snarl as he inched closer and bent down at the waist. 

 

          “i’m not a monster. since i turned i’ve done nothing, yet i was placed in chains and brought here, like a criminal.” 

 

          “only because we caught you before you could hurt or kill someone you expect us to let you go?”

 

          “you are condemning me for nothing!” hyungwon replied, finally raising his voice. “you plan to punish me for my existence and none of us can help for the way we’re born! i didn’t choose to be born like this, i didn’t choose my skin or my face, nor my hair or eyes. all of us were formed by the gods, not by any mortals, and do you sincerely believe the gods would create monsters?” the king seemed no less angry than before after hyungwon’s outburst, but his eyes took on a hint of something mocking, something cruel.

 

          “formed by the gods? and where are your gods now? where are they now that you’re about to lose your head, kneeling on the ground, captured like a beast?” 

 

hyungwon’s heart was pounding in fear and in excitement, but his mouth was clasped shut. not for one moment was his faith tested or shaken. if the gods didn’t exist, then how was he supposed to explain the miracle of his very existence? someone had bestowed him with a gift. someone was watching over him. 

 

          “if they are real, why aren’t they helping you?” the king continued to question. 

 

          “gods rest within us humans and they act through us. if we act with cruel intention, not even they can reach us.” what hyungwon had insinuated was too much for the king; a line had been crossed and from one second to the other, hyungwon felt the cutting edge of the king’s rings across the apple of his cheek. the king’s hand was heavy and even though the slap was backhanded, it left the kneeling boy’s head whipping to the side from the momentum. the inside of his cheek was bleeding from where he had bit it, his cheek was stinging, numb. a silence had filled the room. for a second he believed that no one dared to breathe.

 

          “i have heard enough. enough of your lies. enough of your haughty attitude. it’s _enough_.” 

 

          “father—” hyungwon’s ears were ringing, but he could still hear minhyuk’s voice — loud and clear.

 

          “tomorrow by noon, we’re going to carry out your punishment. you will be brought in front of the whole royal court and—“

 

          “father.” minhyuk didn’t raise his voice, but his tone called for attention. like the roar of a young lion. a king in the making. hyungwon didn’t dare lift his head, but he peeked at the crown prince from beneath a pink fringe and saw him approach. the dirty soles of his military boots came to rest right next to hyungwon’s knees. hyungwon didn’t know what to expect. “he is still my spouse. he is still my responsibility and he is still the second prince of the southern kingdom. i oppose to punishment by death.”

 

          “son, you know how we deal with su—“

 

          “i’m aware,” minhyuk cut him off again,” i am aware, but none of the people we had dealt with before were royalty and none of them were married to one of us.”

 

          “then what do you suggest.” the king forced out through gritted teeth. hyungwon could see him clenching his fists.

 

          “throw him into the dungeon, but keep him alive.” the numbness in his cheek had given way to a throbbing pain that seemed to rap at his cheek in the same rhythm as the pounding in his heart. the king remained silent. hyungwon exhaled — once, twice, thrice. 

 

          “very well. but he is _your_  prisoner, minhyuk. i expect you to get as much out of him as possible.”

 

          “i will, father.” 

 

hands were grabbing at his arms, the same guards as before reaching for his shackles before he was pulled to his feet with one sharp tug. hyungwon’s legs almost gave out beneath him and when he looked up, he found himself eye to eye with minhyuk. he looked cold as ice. 

 

          “bring him to his cell. and make sure the shackles are secured to the wall, we don’t want him to escape.”

 

*

 

the dungeons of the northern castle lay deep beneath the ground. it was a murky and dark space, build into the very hill the castle was perched upon. the temperature dropped the deeper the guards led him and by the time he was unceremoniously shoved into a dirty, dusty cell, he was shivering from the cold. one of the guards attached his shackles to long chains that were hanging from the wall, while hyungwon was still on the ground; by the time his trembling and stiff limbs had helped him manoeuvre his body into a sitting position, they were gone. the heavy bars of his cell had been closed and locked and all hyungwon could see was the fading light of the torch the guards carried with them, leaving him in complete darkness. 

 

he was alone. the cells around him were deserted, no living creature seemed to reside anywhere close by. stifling silence was his only companion and with heavy shoulders and a heavy heart, hyungwon allowed himself to press the heels of his palms against his eyes and muffle a sob. 

 

quite frankly, he was terrified. he couldn’t allow himself to grief the loss of his mother, he shouldn’t even have allowed himself a moment to panic and cry, but trying not to break apart was hard. 

 

without his mother, his brother, without minhyuk and jooheon, hyungwon found it harder to be strong. he had gotten used to the comfort of their presence and now that he was left without, he struggled to hold himself together with the dignity he knew he needed to preserve. 

 

hyungwon choked back another sob and listened to the rattling of the shackles as he curled his hands into fists and wiped at his face. his hiccuped breathing was making his lungs ache with effort and hyungwon, feeling his head starting to grow faint as well, tried to control it and calm himself down with even inhales and exhales. 

 

he needed to get out.

 

nothing could be done, nothing could change if he was stuck in prison. his chances to achieve that didn’t look all that good — he couldn’t see minhyuk or the king agreeing to let him out anytime soon, but if he did nothing and waited around for kihyun to maybe manage to break him out, it could already be too late. 

 

he pulled his legs closer to his chest and gripped at the chains hanging from his wrists. after giving them a tug it was fairly obvious how sturdy they were and hyungwon hadn’t seen anything within the cell that could assist him in breaking the metal. while the guards were around, he didn’t have the time to catch a proper glimpse at the chains and while he wasn’t sure how long they were, he doubted they would allow him to reach far enough to touch the bars. exhaling sharply, hyungwon grabbed the metal cuff around his wrist and tried to make his hand as small as possible, but the metal was too tight and unless he dislocated the joint of his thumb, he wouldn’t be able to fit his wrist through it. 

 

hyungwon spent a few seconds contemplating if that was a good enough plan to pursue, but even if he were to fit his wrists through the cuffs, that didn’t mean he would manage to squeeze his body past the narrow bars — he most likely wouldn’t. and unless someone decided to visit him, no one would be around to hear him cause a ruckus and no one would know to come and check. which meant trickery wouldn’t get him far either. 

 

if only he had hyunwoo’s body, hyungwon thought, maybe the shackles would budge, maybe the bars could be bent. the thought is quickly dismissed with the shake of his head and the realisation of how unrealistic it was. not even hyunwoo was strong enough to bend sturdy metal. no normal human would be.

 

suddenly, he sat up a bit straighter and reached back with one hand to brush over the back of his shoulder. his birthmark didn’t burn anymore, nor did his body ache, which meant that what was trying to come out of him wasn’t poison or venom, but his gift. 

 

he thought of the wolves kihyun created out of smoke and stretched out his hands, allowing his fingers to curl and uncurl. unsurprisingly, nothing happened and hyungwon hadn’t even been too sure what to expect. kihyun had mentioned that his hair had some connections to what his powers were and kihyun’s was the same colour as the wolves he created out of the smoke he used. hyungwon had to peel cherry blossoms from his scalp to even find the newly coloured hair beneath and although he wasn’t sure what exactly that meant, he knew smoke wouldn’t be what he could wield.

 

with a deep breath, hyungwon closed his eyes. whatever it was that he could do, it had to be somewhere within him and there had to be a way to access it. 

 

the one reccurring memory of the meadow briefly floated in front of his inner eye and for once, hyungwon decided to cling onto it. 

 

he was so young back then, only a few years old. the memory was fuzzy, everything surrounding it was blurry, but hyungwon tried his best to recall every detail about it. 

 

the meadow was nowhere close to the castle; hyungwon remembered being carried through one village and then a forest, perched on his mother’s hip. there were people waving at him, at her. hyungwon could make out the smiles on their faces, even as the rest of their features remained blurry. ( for a moment he believes to have seen a vaguely familiar set of slanted eyes and remembered kihyun telling him they had met before. ) 

 

that day, the sun had seemed especially bright. it was blazing down on them and by the time, they arrived at the forest, his mother had taken off her shoes. her flowery dress was floating in the breeze as she hummed a song. hyungwon could recall her setting him down onto bare feet when they reached the tall grass of the meadow, hidden right in the heart of the forest. back then, he thought the place had to be magical; the flowers were vibrant and the butterflies seemed to fly towards him, instead of away, when he tried to reach for them.

 

back then he had smiled bright at his mother and called them pixies, small spirits that could wield the forces of nature to their whims. now he could see the face of his mother as she smiled silent, but affectionate. hyungwon remembered laughing and running through the grass and the flowers. his tiny body spun in circles and he sang the same song his mother had hummed before at the top of his lungs. 

 

( even now he could recall the words, even now the melody came back to him and subconsciously hyungwon parted his lips and started to sing softly. ) 

 

back then, the sun was shining down on him and turning the crown of his head warm. his mother’s fingers brushed through his wavy and tousled hair, but she didn’t say a thing as she picked leaves and petals out of it. now hyungwon realised that she hadn’t been the one who had been singing, she hadn’t been the one the flowers were bending towards, in synch with her breathing. 

 

now that he was focusing on the memory and watching it unfold, he remembered swiping his hands over the heads of the flowers and them following the movement of his limbs. when he was young, hyungwon had believed the wind to be the cause of it, but even back then, his birthmark had been itching and burning. 

 

in his memory, he planted his palms firmly on the ground and closed his eyes. his mother whispered to imagine a flower — _any one you like. how about a pink peony?_  — and hyungwon did. 

 

( with his fingers still trembling and his eyes still closed, he mirrored the actions from back then even now. the ground of the dungeon was dirty and hard, but hyungwon focused solely on the memory. )

 

as a child he thought it was a funny trick, a prank that the butterflies were playing on him because as he imagined the blossoming petals of a pink peony, something had started to shift beneath his hands and pushing against his palms. by the time he pulled his hands away, a flower had started to sprout from the ground. his mother had smiled, sad and proud at once — hyungwon didn’t remember ever returning to that meadow again. shortly after, his lessons began. 

 

now, when he opened his eyes, it wasn’t to a green meadow or the blazing sun, but the same darkness he saw behind his eyelids and biting cold. his fingers felt half frozen, as did the tip of his nose and his toes, but hyungwon tried to pretend. with the same song from back then softly slipping past his chapped lips, he closed his eyes and pretended to be on the meadow from back then. 

 

he thought of the butterflies and the warmth of the sun that seemed to reflect a warmth that spread from the pit of his stomach and into his palms. his hands grew warm; a single spot in the middle of his palms that pulsated with an unknown heat, the urge to spread and to live and grow. 

 

if he was honest, hyungwon had expected nothing to happen, yet he could slowly feel the ground beneath his hands shift, as if someone was pushing at the hard surface. slowly, it seemed to crumble and crack and hyungwon couldn’t see much within the darkness, but he stared at where he assumed the ground to be. 

 

something brushed against the skin of his palms — something velvety and soft and when hyungwon pulled his hands away, he could barely make out a thin stem, writhing and shifting and pushing through the hard surface of the dungeon floor. 

 

it was too dark, still, but the stem stopped growing and the flower blossomed and hyungwon thought he could make out the frilly edges of pink peony blossoms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the marigold flower symbolises despair and grief


	11. edelweiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon receives a few visitors in the dungeon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so..... i planned to stick to the updating every two weeks schedule, but i honestly don't know if i will be able to do it again after this chapter. it's becoming harder and harder for me to write bc at this point the story is way out of my comfort zone and whoever writes knows how hard it can be and how long it takes to write something completely unlike anything you've written before. flowers isn't easy to write, it takes a lot of planning and energy and effort especially with where the plot is going to go. if you want to be supportive please feel free to leave comments on twt, here or cc, or rt the tweets with the updates, but please avoid asking me for updates bc i'm really really REALLY stressed about how fast i can and can't write, like to the point that it drives me to tears and one of the reasons why i always had such an easy time writing for this fic is bc it was so fun and easy. and it's really not at this point. i'm trying to find that fun and easy again but it's taking some time and until then i can't promise that the updates will be every two weeks. they might be a few days late or a week late i don't know... but anyway, back onto the story

time had never meant as little to hyungwon as now. days could have passed, or maybe just hours — it was hard to tell in the fathomless darkness and silence that surrounded him. he had curled his body tightly, limbs pressed as close to his shivering body as possible to preserve the last remains of warmth. 

 

no one had visited him since they brought him to the dungeons. it occurred to hyungwon only later that his punishment might not be considered a murder under special circumstances. when none of the royals wanted to worry about dirtying their hands all they had to report was simply that the southern prince died of hypothermia. 

 

a gust of wind ruffled the flower petals surrounding him, made them brush against his skin and despite the deep exhaustion in his body, hyungwon was alert. from a distance he could hear the faint creak of heavy, metal doors; all at once it felt as if the entrance of the dungeon was the mouth of a beast that took a deep inhale and left hyungwon’s whole body trembling. 

 

he lowered his hands next to his body, felt the leaves and stems of the small meadow he surrounded himself with. for a second his heart skipped in fear and got stuck in his throat. there was panic as he reached through the flowers he had summoned and hyungwon contemplated ways to hide them, but the second passed and a light flickering from the distance told him it would be too late anyway. whoever was coming to visit, knew what hyungwon was and surely wouldn’t feel all that surprised to see what he had done to his cell. 

 

the light from the torch blinded him and it took hyungwon’s eyes a few seconds to adjust to the sudden brightness. but then the person carrying it used it to light the two torches hanging from the wall next to the cell and hyungwon recognised the blond hair and round cheeks and felt like crying again.

 

          “jooheon—“ his croaky voice echoed off the empty walls and despite hyungwon having kept explanations and apologies carefully folded on the tip of his tongue, as soon as their eyes met and he saw the worry reflecting in jooheon’s, all of them died. 

 

          “your highness, i came to bring you a few things.” the servant explained simply and placed his torch into the torch holder on the wall, before stepping closer and crouching down. hyungwon didn’t move closer, wasn’t even sure if he could. he hadn’t seen jooheon since the morning the news about his mother had reached him and all this time his heart had been aching and heavy with a simple question of what jooheon would think of him. he hadn’t been around for his trial, nor had he caught sight of him when the guards dragged him to the dungeon and as hyungwon watched him place a giant, woven basket next to him on the ground and pull back a heavy blanket to reveal hyungwon’s thick, white fur coat, he had to blink and bite his lip to hold back the tears. 

 

jooheon looked up and smiled — warm and sad, but not disappointed. he passed the fur coat through the bars and held it out to hyungwon, waiting for him to come closer. there was hesitance in his movements, the shackles around his wrists rattling painfully loudly as hyungwon crawled close enough to reach out. jooheon didn’t seem to fear him, but hyungwon kept his distance, kept his eyes lowered as he wrapped the fur around his shoulders and curled his body up beneath it. 

 

silence returned between them in which neither seemed to know what to say. the servant didn’t seem to fear or hate or condemn him, but the relief it brought only warmed hyungwon’s chest so much. he was still locked in a cell and jooheon was now yet another servant. they had never agreed to be friends before, hyungwon had always only assumed. now he felt regret over not offering jooheon to call him by his name. 

 

the servant knew nothing of his inner turmoil and worries, but continued to pull out more blankets, food, flasks of water. hyungwon just sat and watched him — watched the lights flicker across his soft cheeks and cherub hair. 

 

          “minhyuk doesn’t know you’re here.” he ultimately said, just as jooheon placed the rest of the items as far inside the cell as he could reach. the servant shook his head slowly, confirming all of hyungwon’s suspicions. minhyuk wouldn’t have sent more than bare necessities to his cell, but what jooheon brought was far and beyond.  

 

          “my mother was supposed to bring you food, i simply took over the duty.” or maybe minhyuk knew, hyungwon thought. if he gave jooheon’s mother the job to bring hyungwon food, maybe he knew jooheon would take over and sneak blankets and water and a small lantern down to the dungeons. maybe he didn’t want hyungwon to suffer, maybe —

 

          “but the guards at the entrance…“ hyungwon suddenly remembered. jooheon remained silent, pressed his lips into a thin line. there were things he was dreading to say; maybe he was worried about hyungwon’s reaction, maybe he didn’t want to add salt into the already gaping wound, but just before hyungwon was about to call his name again, jooheon inhaled sharply. 

 

          “no one is guarding the entrance. people are… they’re busy with other things. there’s been an uproar in the kingdom after people found out what you are.”

 

          “oh.” hyungwon exhaled. it was odd for a kingdom not to have enough men to spare a few to guard the prison, but hyungwon was far too tired to press for more information. he watched jooheon nod and gnaw on his plush bottom lip and was suddenly stuck with the thought of how much he missed his smile. the muscles of his own face felt too numb and tired to show one.

 

          “your hair…” jooheon commented all of a sudden. his voice was quiet, but curious as he reached up to brush his fingers lightly through his own hair. hyungwon finally noticed that the servant’s eyes had shifted to his head and although he had gotten a look at his own hair in the mirror, the odd colour had almost completely escaped him up until that moment. 

 

          “it’s strange, i know.” hyungwon replied and lowered his head.

 

          “it’s pretty. you look like a flower.” despite himself, he lifted his head again, eyes wide and coming to rest on jooheon’s small smile. “as charming as ever, your highness.” the words rang a bell; a memory that now seemed far away and ultimately, it cracked a tired smile on hyungwon’s chapped lips. he still remembered the first time jooheon and him were alone, in the forest, where jooheon had laughed so carelessly and hyungwon had followed his confident steps. he had said something similar back then.

 

          “what will minhyuk think if he hears that you called his traitor of a spouse charming and pretty?” hyungwon hadn’t meant for his words to sound so broken and defeated, but as he watched jooheon’s smile crumble, he realised that it must have been uncomfortable to even hear them. he fully expected jooheon to not say anything or change the topic, perhaps prepare to leave, but the servant hesitated for a moment before slowly shaking his head.

 

          “i think—“ he licked his lips, “actually, i’m sure that he would agree with me.” you’re wrong, hyungwon wanted to say. minhyuk had looked ready to slay him. he had pointed the sharp and lethal end of a sword right at him and hyungwon knew that although he hadn’t used it to cut him, the action was clear enough that all ties and trust between them had been severed. 

 

thinking about it would have probably made his heart ache with more than just a dull pain, if his chest had stopped feeling void of anything. 

 

          “your highness, do you—“ 

 

          “hyungwon.” the prince corrected, stopping the puzzled servant mid sentence. “you can call me hyungwon. i’m a prisoner now, hardly a prince, and you’re no longer my manservant, but…” hyungwon paused and in that moment he truly wished he could just reach out and stroke the skin of jooheon’s soft cheeks, wrap his cold fingers around his warm hand. “but i hope you’re still my friend?” 

 

          “of course!” jooheon’s voice shook when he replied, the sound echoing off the high walls, just as the entrance opened and closed with a loud, squeaky noise. “of course, we’re friends. you’re my friend, no matter what.” the servant reaffirmed in a softer voice. 

 

          “thank you.” hyungwon mouthed as a light approached behind jooheon. hyungwon recognised the royal jacket a moment before the man spoke up and jooheon stood to face him. 

 

          “i should have known you would come here instead of your mother like i ordered.”

 

          “your majesty—“ jooheon exhaled, clearly flustered as he took a step back. hyungwon watched minhyuk’s eyes shift from jooheon to the cell, to the small meadow of flowers that stretched across the ground, before they finally came to rest on him. 

 

          “you’re excused, jooheon.” minhyuk said curtly. “you may leave now.” hyungwon watched the servant shift, hesitate. he watched minhyuk’s face harden and his jaw clench and worry hit him when after a few seconds, jooheon still hadn’t moved. his worry for what could happen between the spouses was touching, but hyungwon knew into how much trouble the servant could get on the suspicion of him helping a traitor. 

 

          “jooheon,” hyungwon’s voice pulled the servant’s attention and he forced a smile when their eyes met, “thank you for the food. many blessings come to those with the kindest hearts.” jooheon still looked uneasy but he gave a rushed nod, bowing before scurrying past the crown prince and leaving the two of them in solitude. 

 

minhyuk’s eyes were on him — burning against his skin like hot iron. hyungwon’s own eyes were lowered in modesty. he didn’t want to seem like he wanted to provoke the crown prince, but his words would definitely rub him the wrong way. if minhyuk would be ready to listen to them. 

 

          “look at me.” the crown prince said. his voice sounded more unsteady than hyungwon had ever heard it before. there was no control and no masking his feelings. he sounded upset and hurt, but there were also traces of underlying anger that worried and scared hyungwon. never before had he heard minhyuk sound like that. 

 

still, he lifted his chin slowly, pressed his chapped lips into a thin line and peeked beneath the pink bangs to catch a glimpse of minhyuk’s face. the hardened expression from before was replaced by pain. the crown prince’s usually guarded features reflected the same emotions that the tremors in his husked voice did just seconds ago. a lump gathered in hyungwon’s throat and try as he might, he found it impossible to swallow. 

 

          “tell me the truth — have you been lying to me this whole time?” would minhyuk even believe him if he told the truth? a part of hyungwon wanted to tell him everything, the whole story, from start to finish, just to have minhyuk’s trust back. but even with the story completely unfolded and laid bare, it was no guarantee that minhyuk would believe anything, not with the anger that pinched at his dark brows and stubbornly tugged the corners of his mouth down. 

 

          “i haven’t,” was all hyungwon said, voice meek but loud enough for minhyuk to hear. holding the crown prince’s gaze proved to be especially difficult with the painful clenching inside his chest, the nerves that shook his entire body and made him feel suffocated. but it did enable him to see a shift in minhyuk’s expression, a sudden desperation that hadn’t been there before; he looked frustrated and desperate and the frown on his face deepened. maybe he was frustrated with hyungwon’s reply, but knowing minhyuk, the only reason he came to visit was because he desperately hoped to hear the truth. 

 

( if hyungwon wanted to be hopeful, he would think about how minhyuk maybe wished for said truth to put hyungwon in a better light. ) 

 

          “then what happened to you? how did you suddenly turn into— into a monster?” minhyuk asked. gnarled and snarled around the last word as if the thought alone disgusted him. it hurt — but at this point, almost everything did. “was it the shock about what happened with your mother? but you didn’t turn immediately, it was hours later.” he continued to prod. 

 

hyungwon remained silent and finally lowered his eyes again. they landed on the first flower he summoned, the vibrant pink peony. minhyuk’s voice was a mere whisper in the back of his head. _my peony_.

 

          “i’m not a monster.” he mumbled and let his fingers brush through the flower petals beneath him, pressed his hands together beneath the fur coat. minhyuk seemed to notice something shift and even without looking, hyungwon saw his hand reach for the hilt of his sword. shackled to the wall and sitting on the ground, yet minhyuk still felt like hyungwon could pose a threat to him. the ridiculousness of it all could almost bring a smile to his lips. instead, he pushed the fur aside to show minhyuk his clasped hands, remaining silent and focused on them even when minhyuk questioned what he was doing. when he finally presented them to minhyuk, a tiny butterfly made out the white petals of a daisy started fluttering its wings. 

 

both of them watched as it flew closer to minhyuk, circled him once before landing peacefully on his shoulder. the crown prince seemed to relax, the hand on his sword dropping to rest against his side again. 

 

          “i’m not a monster.” hyungwon repeated again, this time louder. “none of us are.” 

 

minhyuk was quiet. he looked pensive and puzzled and the way the light reflected the planes of his cheeks when he turned his head to muster the butterfly made hyungwon want to kiss them again. 

 

          “your kind has killed many people.” the crown prince started and waved a hand over the shoulder to get rid of the butterfly, “one butterfly isn’t going to convince me that those aren’t the actions of monsters.”

 

          “and many of my kind have been killed, too. the north of all people shouldn’t act so high and mighty when it comes to killing, considering you were the ones who wanted me to pick up weapons to hurt and slaughter.” anger returned to minhyuk’s face and a flush rose to his cheeks. “you people are the ones who behead as a punishment, who kill animals, who are taught to fight from early on. shouldn’t you of all people understand what it’s like to fight for freedom and rights when you’re shunned and pushed into a corner? and shouldn’t _you_  of all people understand how what you’re saying is very hypocritical?” 

 

hyungwon’s life hung onto a thin thread and the only person who could stop it from breaking was minhyuk. what he was saying was bold and pure provocation in the crown prince’s eyes, no doubt, but hyungwon needed him to see and to let go of his stubborn narrow-mindedness. those beliefs weren’t what he was used to from minhyuk; he learnt to admire him for his progressive thinking and desire to change their world, yet the pain of possible betrayal seemed to have made the crown prince defensive and turned him into the spitting image of his father. 

 

          “the only reason you’re alive, _traitor_ , is because of me. perhaps you should act more grateful.” and with that, minhyuk turned his back and left. 

 

*

 

when hyungwon came to again, jooheon was sitting outside his cell. he didn’t realise that he had fallen asleep, but the exhaustion must have finally taken hold of him and lulled him into sleep. the blankets jooheon had brought him couldn’t be compared to a royal bed, but they kept him relatively warm. 

 

he curled the heavy fur tighter around himself before sitting up and squinting at the light of the lantern that was burning in his cell. hyungwon didn’t think jooheon would come again — he didn’t think jooheon would be _allowed_  to come again, but his previous comment about the lack of guards explained the servant’s easy excess. 

 

          “i came to bring you more food,” jooheon started, pulling all of hyungwon’s attention, “but you haven’t even eaten what i brought you last time.” in his slight disorientation, all hyungwon could do was nod, before reaching for a flask of water. he would have loved to know when last time was, how long ago. instead of asking, he took a few sips of the water. 

 

          “i wasn’t sure if anyone would be allowed to come down here for a while.” hyungwon explained. jooheon frowned for a moment, then glanced over his shoulder and looked back at hyungwon again. 

 

          “what did you say to minhyuk after i left? he seemed really… angry when he came back. like someone was ripping him apart from the inside.” never would hyungwon want to cause minhyuk pain, but knowing that he seemed to be in a turmoil over his words gave him hope. maybe minhyuk would end up putting his bred resentment aside. 

 

          “did he talk to you?” hyungwon mumbled. jooheon nodded slowly and looked away to pick at a loose thread on his shirt sleeve. he looked sad. the sunshine personified, bright bubble of positivity actually looked sad and hyungwon felt it chip away at his numb heart. in the torchlight, it looked as if jooheon’s bottom lip was wobbling — or perhaps hyungwon imagined it — and the servant seemed unable to look up and meet his eyes. hyungwon hoped minhyuk hadn’t let his anger and frustration out on jooheon, but considering that the servant had sneaked inside the dungeon and brought necessities with him, he would have made the perfect scapegoat. 

 

it was hyungwon’s fault; that the two of them had a fight, that minhyuk was hurt, that jooheon was sad. all of it was on him and all hyungwon found himself capable of doing was reaching out and pointing loosely curled fingers at the space in front of jooheon’s feet. for a few seconds, nothing happened. jooheon didn’t notice his movement and the ground remained even, before the tiny, soft crackling of the stone splitting startled the servant. he was on his feet almost immediately, his eyes wide and lips agape as he stared at the ground and then at hyungwon. 

 

baby’s breath. hyungwon grew them while thinking about jooheon, about his pure heart and soft love. the flower appeared in his mind even before he realised it and as the petals bloomed and stems grew higher and turned a lush green, he realised how fitting it actually was. 

 

the previous sadness disappeared from jooheon’s face and shifted into astonishment and bewilderment. yet, he had no qualms about crouching down and close to the flowers again, about reaching out to tenderly brush his fingers along the white petals. 

 

          “do you know what those are?” hyungwon asked, already expecting jooheon to shake his head. “baby’s breath. they remind me a lot of you.” 

 

          “because i’m like a baby?” jooheon asked, a pout already pulling at his lips. with such a small action and no more than one question, jooheon managed to make hyungwon smile. the corners of his lips reacted before hyungwon realised how amused and endeared he was and curled into a tiny grin, one that he hid behind the palm of his hand to not make jooheon feel like he was the one being laughed at. 

 

          “no, that’s not what they mean. if you’re curious you could ask changkyun, he might know. or you try to look it up on your own.”

 

          “so you won’t just tell me yourself?” jooheon huffed. hyungwon’s smile lingered for a few more seconds before he shook his head. 

 

the servant didn’t seem sad like before, but he still had an air of pensiveness around him. it was out of character, but hyungwon decided to wait instead of questioning him. he watched as jooheon plucked the baby’s breath from the ground, close to the root, and set it into the basket he had brought with him. his actions were a bit clumsy, but careful, as if not to hurt the flower. 

 

the silence that followed between them was filled with a tension that prepared hyungwon for news before they actually came. jooheon studied the tops of his knees once more, picked at the same thread as before and finally met hyungwon’s eyes. 

 

          “your brother ascended the throne. he’s the king of the south now.” 

 

_hyunwoo_.

 

the dutiful son.

 

hyungwon could imagine him very well as king; he always bore the responsibilities of the crown and the kingdom with dignity and kindness. but he couldn’t imagine how his soft hearted brother looked now that their mother was no more. never before had he seen hyunwoo cry, but he could almost hear his voice break, thin and desperate and in pain. maybe they cried the same way, maybe both of them were clutching at someone or something that day, hoping to wake up from a nightmare and find out that everything had been nothing more than a dream.

 

hyungwon needed to get out: for himself and for hyunwoo. 

 

          “i reckon the king of the north didn’t send him any well wishes.” hyungwon said and curled his fingers into loose fists. jooheon shook his head.

 

          “they started talking about war again, since— since the peace treaty is broken now. minhyuk, he… he’s trying to keep his father from fighting, but the king seems dead set on everything being a big betrayal and planned. i heard him shout about how the south sent a cursed child into our home to take over from within.” it was due to respect and manners that hyungwon didn’t scoff right there and then. the king’s pride was so grand that he would rather risk the lives of many innocent people than to listen. 

 

at least minhyuk was still there. 

 

but even minhyuk couldn’t stop the stubborn and proud old king if he wanted to march into war. months ago, right before hyungwon was wed, he had been angry at the unfairness of him being sent off just to secure a peace treaty. he had argued about other possible scenarios that could soothe the threats of war — now that he knew what burden he carried, now that he found his mission and place in the world, he wished he could go back to that moment where peace was acquired with an action as simple as marriage. 

 

          “the king is going to start a war, it’s only a matter of time.” hyungwon spoke softly. “he’s going to take his chances now that the kingdom of the south is preparing for hyunwoo’s coronation and the queen is gone. everyone is stricken with grief, what better moment to take charge?” almost as an afterthought, hyungwon recalls the king’s words when he delivered the news. the queen was assassinated, but the king hadn’t mentioned who had done it. jumping to conclusions could create feelings of bitterness he didn’t want to nurture, but the possibility was there that the perpetrator was someone from the north. 

 

hyungwon had to get out of the dungeon. fast. 

 

          “jooheon…” he started again after a moment of tentative silence. the servant looked at him, expectant and worried. he was just a boy; they both were just boys, but once war strikes, both of them will be forced to grow up. hyungwon didn’t want jooheon to lose that spark of sunshine that made his core — he didn’t want jooheon to lose himself. “you need to get in contact with the beast. you need to find a wolf that looks like the one that attacked me in the forest and again in the garden.” 

 

          “but— but why?” the confusion was visible on jooheon’s face, the lines between his brows set deeper than hyungwon had ever seen them. “that monster wanted to kill you—“

 

          “it belongs to a new friend i made. and when you find him, promise me jooheon, that you’ll find a way to sneak him into the dungeons so he can free me.” hyungwon’s voice didn’t waver, nor did his relentless gaze on jooheon. he watched the shift from confusion to deep conflict pass across his soft face in the dim light and he knew that what he was asking him for was treason. jooheon was loyal, he was deeply loyal to minhyuk and to the royal household and simply the act of mentioning such things to him, could cost hyungwon his head. “i implore you — i _beg_  of you to help me escape.” the prince added more desperately. 

 

          “but….” there was clear hesitation in jooheon’s voice. hyungwon needed to make the urgency of the whole situation apparent before jooheon just decided to leave.

 

          “jooheon, if i stay in here i can’t do anything. i can’t help my brother, i can’t help the summoners, i can’t help prevent more people from dying. i don’t want there to be a war and i know that minhyuk is striving for peace too but—“

 

          “then why can’t you try to change his mind and have him let you out instead?”

 

          “because who knows how long that would take and we don’t have the _time_. and with how the king is acting, he wouldn’t allow minhyuk to let me out, he wouldn’t allow his son to just forgive the very people he’s striving to eradicate.” 

 

          “i don’t know…” the servant added softly and hyungwon heaved a desperate sigh.

 

          “jooheon, please. _please_ , this is about more than just you and me.” 

 

the silence that settled between them was heavy. the tension could be cut with a blade and hyungwon didn’t realise he was holding his breath until jooheon gave a brief, jerky nod and said: “alright, i’ll help you.”

 

*

 

hyungwon was awake and thick vines were wrapped around the bars of his cell by the time the queen arrived. her visit was unexpected, catching hyungwon off guard and leaving him silently staring. there was little to be read in her face as she stood and scrutinised what hyungwon had managed to turn the small cell into.

 

          “it looks like a garden.” she finally commented. hyungwon wanted to offer her a rose. 

 

out of all the people in the royal household, hyungwon expected her to be the last to pay him a visit. there was little point to the queen of the north questioning him; she had almost nothing to say in the court and hyungwon wasn’t sure how much the king would even want to listen to a narrative that didn’t fit his own. 

 

but she was there, in front of his cell, looking as angular and sharp as uncut marble. maybe it was the light’s fault that she made an almost terrifying sight. 

 

          “your majesty…” hyungwon started and stopped. he didn’t know what to say, but turned his body to fully face hers, his head lowered to show respect. 

 

          “i’m not sure what i wanted to accomplish by coming here,” she started and hyungwon heard the soft click of her heels as she started to pace, “perhaps i hoped that seeing you in person would provide me with an answer to all my questions.” 

 

          “and did it?” the prince asked.

 

the click of her heels stopped and she exhaled a sigh. 

 

          “i tried to raise my sons to be good men. i tried very hard to raise them on my values, despite the lessons they were taught. i never wanted minhyuk to become what his father had turned into and i never wanted my children to have to go through what we went through.” she paused and hyungwon finally found it in him to look up, curious. “war is an ugly thing. it can cost us our most precious treasures.”

 

          “i know that minhyuk doesn’t wish for war, your majesty, but there’s nothing i can do in here to help him prevent it.” she smiled at his answer, sad and small, almost as if she were thinking ' _poor child, you know nothing of the struggles that are to come_ ’ — oddly enough, it reminded him of his own mother. 

 

          “before you were born, and while i was still young, chaos reigned over our country. a large group of bold summoners attacked the castle and left parts of it in ruin. my family and me lived on the borders so i was too far away from this for news to reach us directly and i’m not sure what their intentions were, but… the attack took a lot from the king and left him the man he is today. he won’t show mercy — not on you, who got so close to his sons and not on the other summoners.” the implications of what she was saying rang loud and clear. the king wouldn’t wait long and hyungwon was running out of time inside the cell. even if it went against his son’s wishes, the king of the north didn’t plan to keep him alive. 

 

          “what values did you try to teach them, your majesty?” hyungwon asked instead, trying to distract himself from the shiver that ran down his spine. 

 

          “compassion and passion, mostly. there is no good or bad in this world — we’re all just trying to find our place and survive in it. and i wanted them to be the kind of people that will help those who are struggling with it.”

 

          “they are those kind of people.” he said, which earned him a tender smile. she must be very proud of them, but also worried and scared what their future would hold should the king decide to go through with his plan. no mother would want to risk losing her child in battle, but the serenity she showed with each and every word made her mindset appear more similar to the south.

 

          “i wonder… what kinds of lessons did your mother try to teach you?” the queen suddenly mused. the question took hyungwon aback and for a moment he was left staring. the words were almost jarring, too harsh on the wound that was still gaping open. 

 

          “everything that i’ve already spoken of in front of the king.” he said. “the values of life, of fairness. as a monarch i always strived to be like her, i always wanted to create and heal and bring people together. she taught me everything i know about flowers and everything i know about religion and faith. how to protect those dear to me…” hyungwon trailed off and lowered his head. she might have taught him how to protect, yet he couldn’t deny in front of the queen, that he had failed this very duty. 

 

          “i think she was very proud of you.” the queen spoke gently. her words felt like an hands squeezing around his throat or pressing down on his chest. they were what he wanted to hear but not from her and bitterness churned in his stomach because he would never hear his mother say it. “and seeing the young man you’re slowly growing up to be would have probably made her very happy.” 

 

hyungwon bit his lip. he didn’t say anything in return, he couldn’t. a lump had formed in his throat, he felt short of breath and had to spend all of his focus on appearing more calm and nonchalant than he could possibly be in his situation.

 

          “i’m very sorry for your loss, hyungwon.” the queen ultimately added, after a long pause.

 

          “thank you.” hyungwon croaked in return.

 

*

 

hours later, when hyungwon fell asleep, he had a vaguely familiar dream. 

 

he was locked in the dungeon while war was raging in the outside world, only this time he didn’t remain captured. on bare feet he followed a trail of flowers that led him through the darkness and to the outside. the snow touched his skin and turned to petals and despite the cold season, hyungwon felt warm. It was as if someone had placed a blanket around his shoulders that was shielding him from harsh winds. 

 

voices were calling for him, the wind carrying snippets of words as it whipped around his ears, almost turning him deaf to his surroundings. no one tried to stop him as he walked into the forest, as he stretched out his arms and brushed numb fingertips against bare tree trunks, only to watch them sprout luscious leaves. 

 

the flora around him seemed to come alive with each step he took — it grew and sprouted tall blades of grass and thick vines that brushed his legs and arms, surrounding him completely like a cocoon. walking grew harder and hyungwon had to grasp and push and pull his limbs free until finally reaching a single tree trunk with what he immediately recognised as his mother’s crown. it was a piece of thin, white gold vines that curled together and wrapped around tiny pieces of emerald. 

 

the wind seemed to have stopped and the voices ceased. the only sound reaching his ears was white noise and without spending a second to consider, hyungwon reached for the crown. 

 

the moment he placed it atop his head, he heard kihyun’s voice, loud and clear.

 

          “ _welcome back, your majesty_.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edelweiss symbolises daringness and noble courage


	12. amaryllis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon faces the king of the north once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo uwu first of: i wanna thank everyone for their wonderful kind super sweet comments and cc asks and dms that you've left i'll get to the comments soon ;w; you made me feel much more relieved and way less stressed abt writing and updates so thank you loads for that <3 and second!! two of my friens have created really beautiful art inspired by flowers i wanna share! :D [this one](https://twitter.com/wonnietv/status/1018505748589043713) and [this one](https://twitter.com/shinsxoh/status/1013900022117818368) thank you very very much for that also ;w; and now finally onto the chapter

when the guards came for hyungwon, it was with their weapons drawn and sharp blades pointed right at him. they trampled the flowers he had grown — kicked and cut them — while hyungwon tried to ignore the dull ache that expended in his chest. metal gauntlets pushed at his shoulders, pressed on the back of his neck until the skin of his cheek was scraping against the dirty ground. an cold iron collar fell into place around his neck and made the situation so much more humiliating; he wasn’t just a prisoner, he was a beast that needed to be properly restrained.

 

the guards spoke amongst themselves in muttered words, tugged the fur coat off his shoulders before his body was hauled upwards. there was no gentleness or respect in their treatment and the way they touched him. it was a pure necessity, one they obviously weren’t very pleased over.

 

hyungwon’s legs felt unsteady, but with every stumbling step he took, the rusty metal of his collar dug painfully into his jaw and throat. he coughed and tugged at his wrists, discomfort obvious. yet the man walking in front of him, leading him like an animal on a leash, didn’t bother to loosen the chain that was pulled taut over his shoulder.

 

no one bothered to inform him where he was being led, but during the muttered exchange between the guards, hyungwon had picked up enough words to understand that the king wanted to see him — after the conversation he had with the queen, he was worried.

 

the king seemed to have fallen into a mania where everyone and everything was viewed as an attack and betrayal. minhyuk may have saved his life once before, but hyungwon knew that he was on thin ice.

 

the guards pulled him out of the dungeon, over steep staircases and through empty and cold corridors. to his surprise, hyungwon wasn’t led to the throne room for an official audience, but into a large room with a vast and heavy desk, made out of the darkest mahogany wood hyungwon had ever seen. the king sat behind it, his hands folded in front of his face. dark circles beneath his eyes made his face appear haunted, older than he was. hyungwon held his eyes as long as he could, before one of the guards pushed him onto his knees and the chain around his neck was thrown to the ground and pinned beneath a heavy winter boot.

 

silence settled over the room like a heavy curtain, muffling everything but the rush of blood in hyungwon’s ears. he tried not to panic and keep his breathing even, focused instead on the harsh ground that dug into his knobby knees and the burning the metal cuffs and collar left behind on his skin. if they were to attack him right there on the spot, if the king tried to kill him were he knelt — what should he do? hyungwon had spent his time in the dungeon getting in touch with his powers and learning about what he could and couldn’t do, but aside from the flowers he grew to huddle for warmth and the tiny butterflies made out of petals that he created, hyungwon hadn’t done anything else. his powers felt very limited, but even if they weren’t he didn’t want to hurt the men surrounding him. he didn’t want to hurt the king, who seemed to strive for his head to roll.

 

          “i’ve been contemplating this for many nights.” the king finally spoke up; his voice was a soft mumble, close to the low growl of a beast that was being woken up by the scent of prey. “i wanted to spare you— i did. i thought that one day we could come to a peaceful agreement.” hyungwon couldn’t see his face, but the words he spoke felt like the cold, sharp blade of a sword that was being run along the knobs of his spine. it was terrifying, made him shiver and try to suppress the tremors that threatened to take over his body out of fear. after being faced with minhyuk’s betrayed visage, hyungwon had assumed that his skin had grown thicker, more sturdy. yet being shackled and forced to kneel in front of the king humbled and sobered him up all at once. “but when my guards told me you were using your confinement to hone your summoning, i realised that you left me no choice but to execute you.”

 

the words were thrown into the room carelessly, as if hyungwon was listening to a man talk about the early winter snow with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulder. _it can’t be helped_ , hyungwon could almost hear him say, could envision his eyes turn to steel and burn through his very flesh, if the young prince dared to look at him. the king spoke about wanting to spare him, as if he hadn’t threatened execution the moment hyungwon was first brought in front of him with his new status exposed. his words felt like poison that was seeping into his skin, like vile acid that was poured over fresh soil to attack the young saplings and roots that rested beneath.

 

hyungwon didn’t believe for a moment that the king had wanted to spare him, but the threat of execution being thrown at him still came with a chill that settled into the very marrow of his bones.

 

last time, minhyuk had saved him. with the reminder that hyungwon was still royalty, he could have argued and saved hyungwon’s life, yet minhyuk was nowhere in sight now and the king seemed to have made up his mind already and no amount of hyungwon arguing against what he had said would help. he bit the inside of his cheek, caught words in his mouth and swallowed them like sandpaper, just in time for the king to slowly push back his chair and come to a stand. for the first time, hyungwon dared to lift his chin and watched loose fists clench at the man’s sides as he made his way around his desk.

 

          “i’ve struggled with what to do with the problem of summoners for many years. at first, i wanted us to have a peaceful co-inhabitance.” his heavy steps fell against the ground right in front of hyungwon, forcing him to crane his neck to even glance at his face. the king looked almost pensive as he spoke, gesturing leisurely with one hand. the action made it seem like what hyungwon was witnessing was an endless stream of conscience that simply came pouring out of the man’s mouth without any filters. like the inner monologue of a character in a book who tried to justify his plans and future actions to the readers that hung onto his every word. “after my people have been kind enough to let you into our country — we’ve opened our doors for you and allowed you to live, whereas your queen wanted you all gone. and after all that we’ve done for your kind i thought you would know how to behave yourselves, i thought you knew your place.”

 

hyungwon opened his mouth, but had no more time than to inhale, before the king continued on, completely unaware of the protest that almost met his ears.

 

          “in spite of my generosity, all your kind has done is steal, murder, destroy and try to overthrow the kingdom. _my_  kingdom. for too long i have given summoners the benefit of the doubt that they would change their ways and _you_  have proven to me that i have delayed this for too long.” the deep burgundy of his royal cape bellowed with the power of his turn and in two quick strides the king was in front of him and pointing a threatening finger right at his face. “once again we’ve opened our doors and our hearts to your kind — _to you_  and you have made a fool out of us.”

 

hyungwon’s whole body trembled, a visible shudder rocking his shoulders while he curled numb fingers into fists against the small of his back. although he hadn’t known the king as well as the queen or the princes, hyungwon had met and seen him often enough to know that this wasn’t how he usually was. an insanity had started to creep onto his features and it scared hyungwon, it terrified him to the bone because he knew that there would be no trying to rationalise with a lost man. his heartbeat was thudding loudly, but try as he might, a lump had lodged itself in the base of his throat and fear rendered him speechless.

 

the king inhaled a trembling breath, exhaling the scent of something rotten and tangy in hyungwon’s face.

 

          “i let you near my son… i let you eat with him, i let you sleep next to him, i risked his life every day because i _trusted_  you. and you have proven to me _again_  why monsters should never be given the benefit of the doubt!” his voice bellowed around the small room, causing hyungwon to flinch and to swallow the lump in his throat.

 

          “i’m not a monster.” in comparison to the king — tall as a mountain and sturdy as a boulder — hyungwon felt nothing but meek. his voice piqued like that of a tiny bird and the intensity with which the king stared down at him, made it very obvious that he could crush him just as easily. “i’m not.”

 

their eyes met. the king’s left eye twitched, yet he stood unblinking, staring, allowing hyungwon to watch a spark of uncontrollable fire burn right behind those dark irises. the trembling of his own limbs only seemed to increase when the man took a deep breath and leaned in. he was too close and too terrifying, his self control too far gone and all hyungwon wanted to do in that moment was escape. the fear that had struck him, was comparable to the one he felt when he was first faced with a beast. wild, uncontrollable, dangerous — it was everything that reflected in the king’s face and the spark of insanity he had seen in his eyes made him unpredictable on top of that.

 

hyungwon held his breath and the king exhaled a humourless laugh, followed by a chuckle filled with misplaced amusement.

 

          “and yet the way you’re glaring at me right now and the chaos you have caused in the dungeon have served as more than enough evidence. you’ve been feeding us lies, your words — perhaps your true power is your poisonous tongue.” the king’s idea of what hyungwon had done, of who he was, was so distorted that no matter his words and actions, the king would always find something to twist and turn into ill will. hyungwon blinked away the blurriness that had started to gather and burn at the edge of his eyes, shaking his head in silent disagreement, even when he was well aware that it would be met with deaf ears. the king was looking straight at him, but he didn’t _see_  him.

 

          “maybe you could grow even more dangerous but i’m not going to allow you to live long enough to find out just how dangerous you could become.” the man spoke, his words rushed and hushed, aimed at no one in particular.

 

          “the last time i waited too long to stop summoners i lost my wife and my precious daughter to those— those merciless monsters! but i won't let that happen again. i won't let you have my child, you _will not_  have minhyuk.” the king leaned down, his words little more than a breath. he stared at hyungwon with wide eyes, but he didn’t seem to be looking for any understanding or recognition, nor reaction. “even if you wanted to try and get to him, it’s too late now. i’ve already sent him away. minhyuk is marching into war against the south as we speak and he’ll slaughter your family of summoners, as he’s been taught to — to kill monsters like you.” the king chuckled and hyungwon heard his breath stutter before the chuckle turned into a boisterous, joyous laugh. as if their victory and his ultimate peace relied on minhyuk slaughtering everyone that didn’t appeal to the king.

 

but then something shifted and changed again and the king’s laugh died on his still parted and chapped lips. his eyes were searching and unfocused, unable to find whatever it was that he was looking for before the hushed mumble of words returned.

 

          “i won’t let you take more from me, i won’t let you take another child from me, not again.” hyungwon’s head was swimming as he watched the king suddenly pull away and start pacing again. “you’ve gotten away with this for too long, you monsters have been ruining my life for too long.” he was muttering under his breath, repeating the same words over and over again while nothing around them seemed to dare do as little as breathe.

 

and as if some sort of realisation had occurred to him again, the king returned just as suddenly as he had pulled away, gripping hyungwon’s jaw and squeezing, digging his rough fingers against his cheek and jerking his head up. the eyes that met his were restless, pupils jumping left and right. hyungwon barely held back a sob.

 

          “but not anymore. i’m going to kill all of you, i’ll cleanse this world of your kind. you won’t be able to hurt my son and when he comes back home, you’ll be gone. all of you will be gone.”

 

what followed was complete and utter paralysis. hyungwon had had no chance to speak, no chance to defend himself and as the guards from before grab his arms and pull his limp body back to the dungeon, a sense of helplessness resignation settled heavy in his chest.

 

they carelessly threw him back into his cell, chained his wrists to the wall again as the young prince curled up on the trembled remains of his flowers. his hands felt numb, the harsh metal of his handcuffs pressing against the skin of his forehead and nose bridge as he curled into himself tighter. finally he allowed the single sob to fall past his lips; the first one quickly being joined by another and many more as hyungwon trembled and cowered on the ground.

 

it all seemed so hopeless.

 

the king was planning to kill him. the king was going to behead him and minhyuk wasn’t around. hyungwon was going to die and there was no one to prevent it. he would remain stuck in the dungeon, waiting for his end while the rest of his kind and his home country would all be slaughtered. the king wouldn’t rest until death and ruin was brought over the country and hyungwon could do nothing to prevent it.

 

minhyuk was already marching into war.

 

if only he had more time. if only jooheon had already managed to contact kihyun. if only he knew how to get out of the dungeon all on his own.

 

if only.

 

*

 

          “the king has announced that you will be executed tomorrow morning.” changkyun’s aloof voice breached the deafening silence that filled his ears. hyungwon didn’t move from the position he had curled into. his body felt weaker than before. moving felt like a hassle he had no energy to waste for — and what was the point of uncurling to hold a proper conversation when all that awaited him was death?

 

he hadn’t registered the sound of the door opening and shutting, nor changkyun’s footsteps on the ground, but now that the younger prince had announced himself, hyungwon was hyperaware that changkyun didn’t move a single muscle. did he even breathe?

 

          “minhyuk isn’t here anymore… but you heard about that already.” it was a small hint, an almost silent drop of water that fell onto perched leaves and finally made hyungwon’s long limbs unwind and unfurl, his face peeking between stems and petals. he could only imagine how he wore the defeat and resignation on his face, could imagine that the stare he fixed changkyun with could be seen as a merciless glare as he pushed himself up, yet changkyun didn’t even flinch.

 

          “you were eavesdropping.” hyungwon concluded, voice rough and horse. he was parched, his lips feeling chapped and dry, yet he couldn’t find the will to check if the guards had taken all the necessities jooheon had brought him.

 

changkyun inhaled slowly; hyungwon watched his chest expand and shoulders pull back. he looked older than ever before with the dark shadows dancing across his face and the unwavering stare that fell onto hyungwon down the straight bridge of his nose. it was the face of a child who knew he would be forced to grow up.

 

          “the king didn’t seem much like himself lately and i thought it best to keep an eye on him and maybe find out why. i have a relatively good idea now.” changkyun finally explained. it was only then that hyungwon noticed the way changkyun addressed his own father; careful politeness and lack of any familiarity. he had created a distance between himself and the king and hyungwon wondered if it was because his name wasn’t mentioned even once during the king’s monologue.

 

          “why are you here, changkyun?” hyungwon asked and he sounded not even half as tired as he felt. changkyun heard it, he had to, and instead of replying right away, he did something that no one who had visited hyungwon had done yet; he sat down on the cold, harsh ground. he got onto hyungwon’s eye level.

 

          “because i want to know the truth. please.”

 

          “why?” hyungwon questioned.

 

          “i don’t know how to save you and i don’t want your death to have been in vain.” after another moment of silence, changkyun added: “i’m leaving tonight, i’m going to join my brother in the war.”

 

this was it, hyungwon thought. there would be no grand plan of escape, there would be no miracle where he would be saved in the very last minute. he was going to die tomorrow, alone and days away from his home and family and all consolation he had was changkyun. the young prince with wisdom and maturity far beyond his years. the first person who had accused him and probably the last person who would see him before hyungwon met his end.

 

his tears had long since dried out. hyungwon felt as if he had cried rivers and lakes since he came to the north while not shedding as much as a single tear before. it would have been shameful for him to not have his emotions under control — at least that was what his teachers would have said — yet now that he found himself captive and treated little better than a beast, shame had no place. he allowed the surrender to show on his face as he folded his legs beneath him and sat up properly.

 

he would die tomorrow. he had only one day left to live and only hours before changkyun had to leave.

 

          “please.” changkyun whispered again, gripped one of the bars of his prison with one hand and stretched the other through them as far as it went, offering it. palm up. steady. no tremors shook his body and no uncertainty moved his gaze and amongst the deep hopelessness hyungwon felt on the inside, he found enough energy to crawl forward and reach out. changkyun’s hand was warm and soft; unlike the calloused hand of his brother from wielding weapons and the slightly rough hands of jooheon from physical labour, changkyun’s was all soft. he had enjoyed the conformities of a similar kind of prison that hyungwon had been forced into, as the second prince, as the cursed child. changkyun’s wishes and ideals didn’t align with the kings — he didn’t fit in.

 

hyungwon still didn’t speak and changkyun released the bars and reached forward with his other hand, curling both of them protectively around hyungwon’s.

 

what changkyun showed him wasn’t loyalty born from deep affection, like jooheon had. it also wasn’t understanding born from experience and fear and worry, like the queen had. changkyun saw him as an equal that would meet a harsh and unfair punishment and take all the knowledge and solutions to a long existing problem with him.

 

hyungwon took a deep breath and started to tell his story.

 

he began to tell him about his first memory, about his mother and the meadow, about the lessons that started soon after. he told him about what kihyun had explained, the secrets that the south kept, the suppressed cursed children who ultimately broke out of their shells and became summoners, moved to the north. the struggles they faced. he mentioned the war the king spoke about and admitted to not having heard anything of it before and changkyun looked conflicted for the briefest of seconds before finally speaking up.

 

          “mother tried to hide the king’s previous marriage from me, but i bet minhyuk was told about it. i looked into it myself, i found out myself, and all the reports say was that a small group of summoners infiltrated the castle and… that there were losses. the reports stated that the summoners were heading for the king’s private quarters, only that he wasn’t there. his wife and child were. the summoners who were banished from the south and moved to the north, who you talked about, came much later. this attack lies more than twenty-five years in the past and the summoners who were responsible for it escaped. no one knows what happened to them.” changkyun concluded.

 

          “it doesn’t matter who is responsible for his loss. the king isn’t going to rest until we’re all slaughtered. he sees in all of us the same enemies he made that day. you’ve heard him.” changkyun nodded once, a small frown creasing between his brows, “i planned to escape, actually, i wanted to help bring my kind and my country together and i wanted to solve all of this without a war. now i won’t be able to help anyone and people are going to uselessly lay down their lives.” hyungwon’s voice fell more and more quiet as he spoke, his head lowered in disappointment. the hands surrounding his squeezed, firm and reassuring.

 

          “hyungwon,” the younger prince started, prompting him to meet his eyes again. “i’m going to meet minhyuk and i’ll do my best to stop this. i’ll try to make him see reason. he may only be the prince, but as long as the king stays put, minhyuk has a chance to lead the troops. i promise to tell him everything, i’m going to clear your name.” changkyun forced a smile and released his hands. hyungwon missed his warmth almost instantly, felt his chest clench painfully and a lump lodge its way back inside his throat.

 

          “changkyun, wait—“ the prince stopped in his tracks and turned to look over his shoulder. there were so many things he had wanted to tell minhyuk, so many conversations they never had the chance to hold and as it so often struck one with death, the worst feeling of all is the regret of unspoken words. “tell minhyuk i said thank you. thank you for everything.”

 

changkyun remained rooted to the spot for one more moment, scrutinising hyungwon and apparently searching his face for something he didn’t willingly offer and expose. maybe he found it, or maybe he didn’t, but after a sharp nod and a muttered _‘i will’_ , he left.

 

and hyungwon was all alone once more.

 

*

 

in hyungwon’s mind, he could draw endless shapes against the uneven, dark ceiling of the dungeon. as he laid on his back, surrounded by trampled grass and flowers and inhaled the scent of withered spring, he drew the shape of the sun against ink black stone. the blinding light of a clear blue sky shone down at him and even thought he was days away from home, in his heart, he was right there.

 

a song was on his lips, but in his ears only the rushing of waves and cry of seagulls. he could hear his brother’s laughter, hoseok calling for him and his mother singing along. warmth filled his chest and spread through his body slowly; it felt like he was right there, with them, laying on the beach and basking in the bright sun.

 

he closed his eyes and returned to a time before minhyuk and jooheon, before he ever set foot in the north. back to when he was clueless and sheltered and not whole, not yet himself. he inhaled the sea breeze and remained rooted there, remained in his childish and blue eyed naivety before asking himself: was he truly happy?  

 

minhyuk had treasured him, jooheon loved him — hyungwon thought about how he had truly found a soulmate in the boy, a twin, perhaps — and even so far away from home, in the cold north, hyungwon had found comfort. he had found a place to call his own. but was he truly happy?

 

could he have been truly happy when all this time he wasn’t himself?

 

he was prepared to die tomorrow and as much as it hurt that he would leave behind chaos, that he wouldn’t be able to help the people who mattered most, hyungwon thought that at least now, he could die with having found his inner peace. he wasn’t happy — only a loon would feel happiness in the face of death when a war was raging outside, but hyungwon felt serene. he felt complete.

 

if he hadn’t found happiness in his life, at least now he had found himself.

 

the rushing of waves disappeared, the almost tangible sea breeze falling flat and exchanged with dungy, cold air. the song on his lips came to an end just in time to announce the creaky, heavy door of the dungeon being pulled open. hyungwon fully expected to hear the metal steps of the guards coming to get him, but was forced to open his eyes and turn his head when the barely audible feet of a single person approached. he sat up, confused by who would sneak and tip toe to his prison cell, and was met with a hooded figure clad in all black.

 

the figure lifted his arm and pushed back the dark hood, just enough for hyungwon to catch slanted eyes and sharp features from the dim light the torch exuded. _kihyun_ , hyungwon thought and reckoned he must have breathed the word a second later, but the peaceful thud of his heart had quickly and sudden turned into a drumroll.

 

          “we have to hurry.” the man muttered, reaching for the door of his cell with a key and gloved hands. hyungwon’s body was numb, but kihyun operated with the same lightness his smoke did; curling around him with ease and unlocking the shackles around his wrist. he was almost soundless in his movements and hyungwon stared, with a mix of confusion and awe, as the weight around his wrists dropped. “we don’t have a lot of time, your majesty.”

 

kihyun pulled his body up with ease; as if hyungwon was little more than a rag doll that could be tugged around on a single string. his legs were still shaky and stiff, his whole body aching from lack of food and hours he spent curled up on the harsh, cold ground. he tried to grit his teeth and rush, but before he could move, the fingers around his forearm gave him a firm squeeze to signal that he should stay put. kihyun pulled aside the heavy, dark cloak he was wearing and exposed a bag, resting against his hip. he briefly searched it and pulled out a cloak similar to the one he was wearing, before throwing it around hyungwon’s shoulders.

 

          “if we want to get out of here alive, we should try to be noticed by as few people as possible.” the man explained in a hushed voice. his fingers worked fast; clasped the cloak tight around his shoulders and pulled up his hood before pulling hyungwon after him.

 

jooheon waited at the entrance of the dungeon, cloaked in a dark hood and peering outside. the men who had been guarding the dungeon entrance laid unconsciously on the ground, and sitting in between them was kihyun’s wolf. hyungwon didn’t get the chance to ask questions. jooheon’s warm hands reached for him, held onto his arm and pulled him between himself and kihyun protectively. they were guiding his body and making sure they stayed close to the walls, hiding in the shadows of the castle and all this time, hyungwon felt as if he was still laying on the ground of his cell and staring up at the ceiling.

 

it was too convenient, too perfect of a moment. it felt like a dream — so easy and silent. there was the rushing of his heartbeat in his ears that seemed to muffle all over sounds and hyungwon was fully convinced he was dreaming, he was — until an arrow whizzed by right next to his head and every sound around him returned all at once. crystal clear.

 

from one moment to the other he wasn’t floating any longer, he was running for his life with his head ducked. he could hear the sound of kihyun’s beast growling, metal crashing on the ground and the piercing screech of panicked screams, and it took him a few seconds to realise that it was the sound of soldiers falling beneath its claws.

 

          “run!” kihyun screamed and pushed him forward. jooheon released his arm in favour of pulling out a sword as more soldiers started inching in on them.

 

          “hyungwon, go!” jooheon shouted, desperate panic still audible in his voice.

 

not listening to either of them, hyungwon stopped and turned and found himself faced with two dozens of soldiers, with only kihyun and jooheon as his shield.

 

time seemed to slow down around him — his own heartbeat grew less rapid and he was all too aware of the two man who were putting their lives on the line to save his. as if his was somehow worth more than either of theirs. hyungwon didn’t know how far the expense of kihyun’s powers reached and in that moment it didn’t matter because when he lifted his arms and dug his toes close to the hard, harsh stone ground, it was out of pure instinct. just how he did in the cell, hyungwon imagined far reaching, deep roots. before his inner eye he could see thick vines form and push and shift the ground that lay in their path.

 

he inhaled; his fingers twisted in the material of both kihyun’s and jooheon’s cloaks. he exhaled; the ground beneath their feet started to quake and crack and hyungwon pulled his two companions back just in time for a wall of vines to raise and separate them from the group of soldiers. they were simply plants, they wouldn’t stop two dozen men with sharp weapons for long, but it would hinder them long enough for the three of them to rush up the stairs and along deserted corridors.

 

it was in the middle of the night, with the moon hanging low in the sky and within the confines of the lonely castle, hyungwon could hear the screams chasing them all too clearly.

 

          “i prepared two horses, they’re right at the kitchen entrance.” jooheon breathed. he stumbled over his words like hyungwon stumbled over his feet. it obviously wasn’t part of the plan for jooheon to escape along with them, but with the guards on their heels and them having clearly seen jooheon’s face, hyungwon knew that they couldn’t leave him behind.

 

          “you’re coming with us.” he quickly decided and reached for jooheon’s hand, their fingers clumsily intertwining. kihyun didn’t say anything and when hyungwon turned to look at him, he saw the man looking behind them. a second later their eyes met. “they’ll have his head for treason, we’re taking him with us.”

 

          “he’s riding with you.” was all kihyun said before a shadow started oozing out of his sleeve and shifted into the shape of a beast. it started heading in the opposite direction right away, no doubt following kihyun’s instructions to keep the soldiers away from them. had it not been for jooheon’s hand that was so desperately and tightly squeezing his own, hyungwon would have remembered to ask kihyun if he was making sure to not fatally wound anyone.

 

once again, kihyun’s hand was on his shoulder blade and urging him forward, down a steep staircase as hyungwon tried to will his numb and stiff legs not to trip. jooheon was still holding tightly onto him and hyungwon tried not to think about how kihyun fell behind again and how grey smoke was all hyungwon caught in his periphery vision when he briefly glanced over his shoulder.

 

the bell tower sounded the alarm to announce his escape a second later. the sound was more booming than thunder and vibrated against his ribcage, send tremors through his limbs. the sound seemed to swallow his own panting breaths and jooheon’s urgent little mantra of ‘ _hurry, hurry, hurry_ ’. they descended the staircase and rushed down another, ran through vast corridors that led them towards the back of the castle, to the lower levels, the servants quarters.

 

hyungwon’s lungs were burning and he was tired, so incredibly tired, that his legs slowed down all on their own. he wanted to rest, his body was lacking energy and the freezing cold starts to seep into his bones again. his mind was urging him on, begging his body to push through the exhaustion, but it was jooheon’s pulling and kihyun’s pushing that made it possible and finally led to them stumbling out of the kitchen entrance. as promised, two horses were waiting for them and while kihyun rushed to one of them, jooheon pulled hyungwon behind himself on the other. he was grateful for the silent help, only found enough spirit in himself to wind his arms around jooheon’s waist and hold on tight.

 

cold wind was whipping against his cheeks, pushing back his hood and musing with his hair. hyungwon had his eyes closed and nose pressed firmly against jooheon’s nape, inhaling the familiar scent and allowing himself that tiny moment of relief. a smile pulled on his lips as they rode through the gates and into the forest and even with the guards following them and kihyun shouting commands at the beasts he summoned, hyungwon felt joyful.

 

his life had seemed about to end just minutes ago, he would be allowed to feel happiness at finally being free again.

 

the sound of the guards and horses trailing after them eventually started to fade. hyungwon opened his eyes and saw nothing but darkness. only the slightest and weakest gleam of moonlight managed to fight its way through the thick treetops of the forest, but kihyun was leading their way and he seemed to know exactly where he was going.

 

jooheon’s cheeks were bright pink and felt icy cold when hyungwon pressed the tip of his nose against it.

          “i’m sorry,” hyungwon whispered. and a second later, “thank you.” i’m sorry for stealing you away from your home, i’m sorry for forcing you to flee, i’m sorry for putting you in danger — all of those apologies reduced to two words. jooheon didn’t do more than glance at him, their eyes meeting for the briefest of moments and in jooheon’s, hyungwon swore, he could see the hidden night sky reflect.

 

neither of them spoke any more as jooheon returned to focusing on stirring his horse. they seemed to be riding for hours and hours on end and hyungwon thought he must have gone unconscious somewhere along the line because the next time he forced his heavy lids to open kihyun had led them to a waterfall and the hidden entrance of a cave. the sound of the rushing water alerted him, but neither of them dismounted and instead kihyun led their horses through the surprisingly shallow water and along the mountain’s walls. the entrance was impossible to spot in the darkness, but kihyun led them with confidence.

 

the air inside the cave was much warmer than the outside and hyungwon heard, rather than felt jooheon shiver. his teeth were chattering loudly and hyungwon’s body had grown icy cold, too. he sincerely hoped they could warm up soon.

 

the cave stretched far and deep and after riding on for minutes and minutes, hyungwon finally spotted the first burning torches and bright lights. along the relief he felt, came a surge of bone deep exhaustion. hyungwon’s hold around jooheon tightened for a moment, pressing close. he couldn’t imagine his friend to be in a much better shape than him.

 

when kihyun’s horse finally came to a halt, it was in front of a handful of figures with tattered dark robes, who were huddled around a dying fire. they must have been waiting, hyungwon thought, or keeping watch. all of them looked up at once when kihyun dismounted and motioned for jooheon and hyungwon to do the same. hyungwon moved slowly and would have probably fallen right off, if it hadn’t been for kihyun’s hands reaching for his arm and waist to help him down.

 

jooheon reached for his hand almost as soon as his feet touched the ground. it was obvious that he was nervous, even hyungwon — admits all his exhaustion — felt antsy when faced with five pairs of eyes he wasn’t familiar with. he didn’t need to say anything, but pressed his warm body as close to hyungwon’s as possible, almost as if he were huddling for warmth. jooheon’s face seemed tense when hyungwon glanced at him and it reminded him of the fact that jooheon and kihyun had only just met.

 

then kihyun pulled away and pulled down hyungwon’s hood and with the biggest smile he had yet seen the man smile, motioned towards hyungwon and announced:

          “please welcome, his majesty, the prince of the south.” a bit more softly he added, “our prince.” in a voice that sounded affectionate and longing all at once and immediately sent a surge of warmth through his chest. hyungwon’s eyes briefly wandered over the unfamiliar faced before returning a questioning gaze to kihyun. the man smiled at him before his eyes shifted to jooheon and his smile turned more slightly more cheeky. “oh, and his friend. the servant that helped smuggle me inside and the only northerner around. be nice to him, yeah?”

 

the strangers bowed in front of him, a simply bow at the waist, and hyungwon didn’t have the time or focus to study their expressions once they rose before kihyun placed his hand on the small of his back and started leading them further into the cave, jooheon still pressed against his side and clinging to his hand.

 

          “are all of those— is everyone here a summoner?” hyungwon asked. kihyun nodded in reply and led him and jooheon to a makeshift bed, made out of fabrics and hay and thick blankets and furs.

 

          “save the questions for tomorrow, your majesty. for now, you should lay down and rest. there will be a lot of work ahead of us with the break of the new day.” kihyun said.

 

jooheon was silent when he curled up next to him and hyungwon didn’t hesitate or wait before reaching for him, winding his arms around jooheon’s middle and shifting one of his legs before the servant’s. jooheon was silent, but his worry marred his pretty face and was indication enough for hyungwon to press his chapped lips against his forehead.

          “everything will be fine, jooheon. you’ll see.” hyungwon slurred. he was asleep as soon as the words left his mouth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> amaryllis: sends out a message of harmony and personal freedom.


	13. iris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon learns some things about the past and receives a letter from his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hey,,,, it's been a while huh? after more than two months wait, finally i bring you an update. i hope people haven't given up on the story yet and the chapter isn't a disappointment after the long wait,,,,,
> 
> ALSO!!!! check out the amazing art n edit my talented n amazing oomfs did!! [1](https://twitter.com/hamsterhyung/status/1022073913000554498), [2](https://twitter.com/hyungwonhomo/status/1025973748732547073), [3](https://twitter.com/JesterFesta/status/1025863518950776832), [4](https://twitter.com/JesterFesta/status/1026842894492155906), [5](https://twitter.com/hyungkyunlatte/status/1032699560697769984), [6](https://twitter.com/hamsterhyung/status/1034479083734921216) & [7](https://twitter.com/JesterFesta/status/1037772663593295873)

hyungwon awoke in darkness. it was similar to the one he had been subjected to in the dungeons, only now he found himself face to face with a softly snoring jooheon. he turned onto his back, studied the high ceiling of the cave and the shadows that danced over it. lamps and torches illuminated the cave, but it was hard to say what time it was so far underground. had he not been forced to spend who knows how many days in the dungeons, he would have felt more restrained and captured without the sky directly above his head.

the quiet bustle of people and muffled voices pulled his attention a moment later, but he still allowed himself a few more seconds of rest, feeling the ache in his bones, the leftovers of burning muscles and the painful emptiness of his stomach. his mouth was dry as a desert and jooheon’s warmth, as well as being buried under heavy fur and blankets, did nothing to help his parched state.

careful not to wake jooheon up, hyungwon slid from beneath the covers and out of the makeshift bed. his heavy boots had been toed off and abandoned at the foot of it and hyungwon clumsily slipped them on before pushing himself to a stand. dizziness overtook him first, a throbbing in the temples that forced him to squeeze his eyes shut and blink away the white spots that were floating in front of him.

he took a few steps forward, vision still not completely clear, in the hopes of finding kihyun when he almost ran into a boy with flaming red hair. he was slightly taller, but his slanted eyes and soft cheeks reminded him of jooheon right away.

          “ah— good morning, your majesty.” the boy said with a smile and a bow of his head that was returned hesitantly.

          “where is— where is kihyun?“ hyungwon croaked out. the other boy must have taken pity on his strained voice and wasted no time in pointing him in the direction of voices and offering him a flask of water. hyungwon gulped it all down at once and thanked the boy with a small smile before heading towards the noise.

kihyun was sitting at a wooden table, a beautiful girl with dark blue hair cut shoulder length next to him. they both turned to him at once, the girl scrambling onto her feet and both of them bowing their heads with quiet mumbles of ‘good morning, your majesty’ echoing off the walls.

          “good morning.” hyungwon replied, soft and still dazed. he was no longer fighting his title and fully prepared for whatever his responsibilities might bring, but it was still odd. it almost felt a bit like a crown too heavy and big for his head.

          “did you sleep well?” kihyun asked as hyungwon sluggishly took a seat opposite him. the blue haired girl didn’t sit back down, but softly excused herself and had it not been for the sincere smile she flashed in hyungwon’s direction, he would have thought he scared her off.

          “better than i have in a long time, thank you.” hyungwon replied with a smile. kihyun remained quiet; he seemed to study him openly, his gaze more intrusive and obvious than it had been when they met in the castle. it wasn’t disrespectful and hyungwon was not quite intimidated, but the inner strength and confidence the man was giving off almost felt like a challenge.

          “i have a few questions that you said you would answer yesterday.” the prince continued when the silence had gone on for too long. he waited for kihyun to nod and watched as he leaned closer, elbows propped on the wooden table. “how many people— how many summoners live here? and where exactly are we? this feels almost too close to the heart of the kingdom.” hyungwon’s memory of how long they rode and where was fuzzy and unclear, but remembering his long journey into the north, the distance they crossed last night seemed minimal.

          “the first question is easy to answer,” kihyun started, “there are about a dozen people here. most of them are summoners who joined me when i left but some joined us later on. there is another camp, closer to the south. we’ll head there eventually and join the others.” _the others_ , hyungwon assumed, would be the rest of the summoners. he did recall how changkyun told him there was about two dozen of them and seeing how dangerous it would be if someone were to find their camp, it made sense why they split up in two.

          “the second question i would have an easier time showing you. but you don’t have to worry, we’re far enough and hidden well enough away for the king’s knights not to spot us. we’ve been hiding here for a while and nothing has ever happened.”

          “maybe so,” hyungwon interrupted, “but you’ve also never had them searching for you as eagerly as they do now that you’ve helped me escape and the king is itching to see me dead.”

          “are you that scared for your life?” the question had a slightly arraigning tone and the way kihyun’s brows arched told him that the man was under the impression that hyungwon was little more than a scared bunny.

          “i’m mortally petrified and absolutely terrified at the thought of what consequences my death would bring. my brother is all alone and marching into war, the crown prince is out there doing the same, and under the king’s rule it seems impossible to find any peace. yet i know minhyuk, i know that he has a good heart and i know that if someone is to lead this kingdom into a new time, it’s him. but i’m also aware that without someone making him see reason that won’t easily achieved.” hyungwon replied. kihyun’s sharp eyes had been scrutinising and curious as they rested on him, but the prince didn’t allow that to deter him.

          “and you think you can change his mind? are you fitting enough to save us all?” kihyun’s voice didn’t sound accusing or taunting; he was absolutely calm. every word of his seemed light and fleeting, almost as if the wind carried his very syllables. it commanded attention, all of it, yet it wasn’t anything if not tender and patient.

          “i am _still_  a prince of the south, i am _still_  the spouse of the northern kingdom’s future king and i am _still_  a summoner. alone i won’t be able to get very far, but if i manage to bring us all together, i know that things can change. even if sacrifices have to be made, even if i lose my life trying, i want to have tried to make it happen at least.” hyungwon tried not to let the frustration build into his voice and watching the features of kihyun’s face suddenly shift into blinding joy made it possible.

          “i was worried spending so much time in the dungeons would break your mind and spirit. after i saw you cowering on the ground i feared for the worst, but you seem more certain and resolute than ever.” kihyun’s high pitched laughter echoed off the walls of the cave. relief was obvious in the way his shoulders relaxed, the tenseness in his posture melting away. “when we met i told you that i was hoping for your help. i didn’t want you to go through this many hardships, but i knew that sooner or later you would become one of us.”

          “do you have a plan then? for what we should be doing next?”

kihyun nodded briefly, smoothing the palm of his hand along the surface of the table, then nodded again, slowly. “first we need to get in contact with your brother and warn him. even if he won’t be able to accept the help of summoners, the south’s army is too small to stand much of a chance against the north. my plan for us is to move to the other camp as soon as possible, but we as well are small in numbers. we need to gather people. i’m afraid not getting involved in the war will be impossible. we’ll have to fight.”

a heavy stone dropped into the pit of hyungwon’s stomach. kihyun’s words didn’t shock him, but to hear the verbal confirmation of approaching war and fighting made him feel nauseous. he still didn’t want to fight, he still didn’t want to cause harm and pain, but the likelihood that he could and would be able to create a shield between whichever colliding forces were going to meet was close to non-existent.

          “i can see you thinking.” kihyun said and commanded all of hyungwon’s attention with those few words. the young prince nodded once, shifted uncomfortably in his seat. kihyun was a fighter, clearly. whatever was left of his southern morals has diminished and combined with the north. the need for survival had won over him and most likely the other summoners as well. if hyungwon were to ask about another alternative to fighting, kihyun would most likely think the time in prison had broken him after all.

          “i was just thinking about how to get a letter to my brother without getting noticed.”

          “oh, that’s easy.” kihyun replied. his lopsided grin widened when he noticed hyungwon’s confusion. “we don’t send letters the way everyone else does. you’ve noticed that you can use your summoning powers to create different forms and shapes, right?”

some minutes later hyungwon found himself at the mouth of the cave. the freezing air felt sobering, even when it made his skin tingle and itch. it was still very early in the day, the sun just barely peaking over the pine trees and casting everything in a faint pink glow. it wasn’t possible to look very far into the thicket; fog hid everything from view and for once hyungwon appreciated being surrounded by it. his fingers clutched at the fur around his shoulders and pulled it closer to his body. a white cloud of breath escaped his dry, chapped lips and while he didn’t have as much trouble stepping over frozen soil as he did when he first arrived, it still didn’t compare to kihyun’s lightweight steps. the older man was clutching hyungwon’s briefly composed letter to his brother in his right hand and as soon as he lifted his left arm, the prince perked up and hurried to stand next to him.

smoke escaped from the tips of his fingers and seemed to curl down slowly onto his palm. the dark mass gathered there and hyungwon watched its form shift and grow until a tiny sparrow was perched right on kihyun’s hand.

          “i thought you could only create wolves…” hyungwon spoke up quietly. kihyun glanced at him from the corner of his eye before handing the scroll to the bird, who immediately gripped it in its talons. it was an odd creature, not quite as fleshed out as the wolves. its body still obviously looked like smoke pressed firmly into a single form but it spread its wings and flew off without any troubles.

          “we can create whatever we can envision. every form is possible with enough practice. holding it isn’t easy and the more sentient a being you create is, the more it will feed off your focus and energy. creating a creature similar to my wolf is hard and rather advanced. there’s still quite a way for you until you get there.” the hand that gently squeezed hyungwon’s shoulder made kihyun’s words sound slightly condescending, but hyungwon didn’t try to argue. he threw another glance in the direction the bird flew off to, saw the sky bleed from pale pink into vibrant orange and turned when kihyun gave his shoulder a pat.  
  
          “now, how about a bath, your majesty? i’m sure you’re dying to freshen up.” hyungwon nodded in response as they stepped back into the darkness of the cave.

  
*

the hot spring was tucked away further down the cave. he and kihyun passed sparkling stalactites and a steep decline that made hyungwon feel like he was running out of air as the tunnels of the cave grew more narrow. what followed once he squeezed past the narrow mouth of the tunnel was a vast space, wide open and littered with gaps in the ground, many of which opened in the form of a pool with steaming water.

kihyun didn’t leave, which wasn’t an issue. hyungwon had already undressed in front of plenty of servants in his life — too many to care. he shrugged out of the ripped and crusty shirt that once used to be fine silk and lace. the air around him was warm and clung to his skin in the form of steam, prompting hyungwon to waste no time slipping out of the rest of his garments before he dipped his toes into the hot spring. his skin looked dull and dirty and it was all the more reason for the prince to ignore the burning heat of the water and step inside, allow his body to sink into the warmth.

kihyun stepped closer to the edge of the spring and set down the wooden basket he had brought with him. there was a collection of homemade soaps hyungwon recognised too well and it reminded him bitterly of all the things he had to leave behind in the castle. his many garments, jewellery and oils — all of which were a comfort and warm reminder of home. there was none of that now, only a hint of what he once had.

          “are you going to help me bathe?” hyungwon asked and watched kihyun’s face shift from sincere surprise to unhinged amusement. his lips spread into a smile, a dimple making itself known on top of his cheek before the smile shifted into a full blown laugh. it was odd and high pitched and sounded similar to the sound foxes made.

          “my position here is that of a leader and i suppose i could be seen as somewhat of a guard for you however, i’ve never considered doing a servant’s chores.” the man replied, clearly amused while hyungwon slowly sank further into the water, trying to hide the embarrassed flush to his cheeks. “but i _can_  help you wash your hair, if your majesty wishes me to.” the smile on his face turned into a grin, the edges sharp and teasing. hyungwon didn’t have it in him to argue and fight; kihyun had a maturity and playfulness that reminded hyungwon a lot of his brother.

          “no, it’s fine, i can do it myself.” hyungwon mumbled and watched kihyun seat himself on the ground in front of the hot spring, legs crossed and elbows resting on the protruding edge. he was still grinning, still watching closely. had hyungwon been the same boy he was before he came to the north, he would have been squirming under the close scrutiny.

          “how old are you?” the prince asked instead. his eyes didn’t stray from the other summoner who wasted no time handing hyungwon a bar of soap as soon as he motioned for it.

          “i’m twenty-five, your majesty.”

          “the same as my brother.” hyungwon exhaled, only mildly surprised. he submerged in the water for a brief moment, brushing fingers through the greasy strands of his hair to wet them well before lathering the soap in his hands.

          “yes, that is correct...” kihyun replied. he watched for a moment longer before leaning forward and dipping the tips of his fingers inside the steaming water. hyungwon watched his face grow pensive, his eyes unfocused. “when i was a kid i used to play with your brother.”

          “you were a knight’s kid. a lord’s son.” hyungwon interjected. kihyun nodded once, but his attention didn’t waver from the hand he dipped underwater.

          “i was as close to him as any of the other children. we were friends — as much as six year olds can be — and it wasn’t too long before my seventh birthday that they found my mark and found out what i am. there was no more playing around with the crown prince and the other aristocrats after that. i’ve seen your brother every now and then, but we never locked eyes again. we never spoke again.” silence settled between them, the deafening void only interrupted by the rhythmic dripping of water that rippled onto the spring’s surface. kihyun didn’t look sad - melancholic, perhaps. maybe even regretful. but both of those were feelings hyungwon understood very well. his own childhood was cut very short as soon as he turned five — he could only imagine kihyun must have gone through the exact same thing.

          “i didn’t know…” hyungwon broke the silence. kihyun blinked once before looking up to meet his eyes. “i didn’t know that you’re a marquess, i didn’t know… my lord.” kihyun laughed again, the sound short and dry. he pulled his hand back and briefly wiped it on the front of his shirt.

          “there’s no need to address me so formally, your majesty. i’m no marquess anymore, not after my family disowned me.” kihyun’s deft fingers twisted the material of his sleeve, exposing a tan arm that he turned and offered to hyungwon. on the inside of his wrist was a mark — dark smoke, curling in on itself in fine tendrils and voluptuous curves. “my sister simply took over the title. it’s hers now. meanwhile, i got this.”

the mention of kihyun’s sister made hyungwon’s thoughts return to hyunwoo. it was a bit too late to feel remorse and regret now, but it overcame him anyway. so many years were wasted with hyungwon directing his bitterness and anger towards his older brother, as if hyunwoo had any power to change his fate. back then hyungwon had no idea about why he was being treated the way he was; he blamed everything on hyunwoo, on being born second, on not being good enough to be king. he couldn’t help but wonder now what his brother must have been thinking. hyunwoo was twelve when hyungwon’s lessons started, so he must have known exactly what was going on.

and not just hyunwoo — _they all knew_.

          “how… how did you know what i am?” he asked. the soap had remained clutched tightly in his fingers and only then did hyungwon remember to glide it over his hair and wash the matted, pink strands. kihyun studied him for a moment before beckoning him to move closer. hyungwon passed the man the soap and turned when he was asked to, remaining still as kihyun took over washing his hair. his fingers were gentle, combing through hyungwon’s hair carefully — tenderly. the voice that washed over him a moment later surrounded him the same way the warm steam did, luring him into a feeling of comfort and safety.

          “marked children lived by the castle, all of us together in one big building. we didn’t live with our parents, but with teachers — or at least that’s what they told us those people were.” he paused and hyungwon heard the the soap being placed back into the wooden basket before the hand holding it returned to massage his scalp. “when you were little, the queen would carry you everywhere. you were always perched on her hip and clinging to her dress. one of those times, when she was passing by the house we lived in, i saw you. you looked back at me.” with kihyun’s voice came a vague memory; it felt as though hyungwon was trying to peer at a blurry picture through a thick veil. “i could feel it then, that there was _something_. it was like a dull ache, or a pull. my mark was burning. no one told me what it meant back then and i didn’t ask, but i knew that there was something about you…” kihyun trailed off. hyungwon wanted to hear more, but he allowed the man to tilt his head back and help him dip it underwater, while making sure his face would stay above the surface. hyungwon looked up and was met with the guarded expression on kihyun’s face. in front of him was a man who certainly didn’t allow any vulnerability to show.

          “it didn’t take long for rumours to start surfacing. people were whispering amongst themselves, talking about how the younger prince was considered ‘too wild’ and had to be kept inside, subjected to special lessons. that was the official reason of why no one ever got to see you anymore, of why you weren’t allowed to visit the town with your brother. his visits became more and more scarce as well. everyone— the people already speculated that odd things were going on in the castle. but… i kind of knew. i knew it had to do with what you were.”

hyungwon remained silent, feeling a bit as if a lump had lodged itself in his throat. he closed his eyes to escape the persistent burning that had suddenly surfaced and allowed his body to drift for a few more seconds. when kihyun helped him into an upright position, he opened them again and splashed some water onto his face. the drops were warm and clung to his lashes and skin like tiny pearls.

          “not too long ago…” hyungwon mumbled and paused.

          “hm?” his words must have been slurred too much because kihyun leaned in over the edge. with a sigh, hyungwon moved to recline back against the stone next to him.

          “not too long before she was killed, my mother sent me a letter. it said not to trust anyone.” this was something hyungwon had frequently returned to. thoughts and questions wandering in circles at who and what could have triggered such a response from her. “do you know what she could have meant?”

          “she probably meant us.” kihyun explained, gesturing vaguely with his hand. “she knew that someone would try to get in contact with you. she was probably also aware that we would see you as our only hope for change. a member of the royal court _and_  a summoner — who else could lead people into a new age if not you?.”

          “you expect me to change things but—“ hyungwon sighed and turned to face kihyun. his fingers gripped the edge of the spring, ignoring the sharp and jagged stone digging into his skin. “i don’t understand. why didn’t she try to do it? why did she sent you away? mother had the people’s approval, she had so much influence — why didn’t she use that? she could have changed—”

          “because she also had you.” one simple sentence falling from kihyun’s lips immediately rendered him silent. he stared in confusion, but kihyun didn’t offer more.

          “what?” hyungwon asked, voice small in his puzzlement.

          “i’m very sure that after we started turning she sent us away to protect you. she could probably see that we would rebel — there was a tension and unrest that spilled over the country in tiny waves and with our uprising it would only grow more grand in scale. she didn’t want that for you, she didn’t want her son to turn into a summoner. as the queen, she feared war and loss, but most of all, as a mother, she feared for you.” kihyun had spoken gently and softly, but his words left a stabbing pain in his chest. hyungwon was forced to look away, press his lips into a thin line and blink away the blurriness that so stubbornly tried to persist. grieving her loss was one thing, but hyungwon didn’t know if he would ever manage to get over the pain of not being able to say goodbye. there were so many moments where he wondered if all of the harshness he was put through was a punishment. if there was something wrong with him that would make his parents, his own mother love him less. while growing up, there’d been moments when he’d wondered how important he truly was to her; hearing his own importance explained so plainly and obviously while he had struggled to see it for so long hurt. hyungwon sniffed once and felt kihyun’s hand lay on his head, his thumb rubbing along the crown of his head. “your mother always only wanted to protect and shield you, no matter the cost.”

kihyun was making it hard hyungwon not to cry, not to fall apart right there and then. he bit the inside of his cheek, splashed more water onto his face and rubbed his hands over his eyes. there was no time for regret — for now he had to function because eventually he would have to lead and possibly charge against his brother and his spouse. he needed to remain composed, clearheaded.

hyungwon turned away from the other summoner once more, trying to find relief in the warm water by submerging his body all the way up to his chin. kihyun’s reassuring hand fell away, taking that as his sign to continue.

          “she was a good ruler. in theory what she wanted was good. the teachers told us about how she strived to find a way for marked children and everyone else to live in peace and unity, but her methods weren’t fruitful. suppressing our powers with force wasn’t the right way to do it.” brief silence filled the small space between them before kihyun’s alluring whisper returned in the form of warm breath ghosting over his temple. “your mother wanted peace. she feared war, but sometimes sacrifices must be made to achieve change and progress.”

*

hyungwon felt refreshed and heavy at the same time when he stepped out of the spring. his feet touched rough, chilled ground and it wasn’t a second later that kihyun wrapped a warm blanket around him. it did little to shield him from the chilly air that clung to every bit of exposed skin. kihyun didn’t turn away even as he handed hyungwon a fresh set of garments; they were thick and leathery, fitting close to his body and all black — hyungwon’s new clothes were almost exactly the same as kihyun’s and while it felt odd not to have his own loose ones, the fit wasn’t all that different from what minhyuk used to wear.

          “do you feel better, your majesty?” kihyun asked. hyungwon nodded, fiddling with the sleeves that clung so closely to his wrists.

          “much better, thank you. and thank you for the clothes, i appreciate it.” from the corner of his eye, hyungwon could see kihyun move and when he turned to look at the other summoner — fully expecting to be led back to the others — he found the man coming to stand in front of him instead.

          “do you want to try summoning again?”

something about the question made nervousness tighten in hyungwon’s stomach. it was a feeling familiar and far away, from a time where his teachers used to test him with questions. kihyun’s voice was soothing, liquid honey, yet hyungwon knew that his powers and ability would undoubtedly be put to the test.

          “i can try.” hyungwon exhaled and lowered himself into a crouch. he pressed his hands against the ground, similar to how he did back in the cell and closed his eyes. the crunch of kihyun’s steps was almost too loud and it was hard to focus when hyungwon was painfully aware of how he stepped around him and stopped behind his back. it was surprisingly easy when hyungwon found himself surrounded by darkness and all alone, yet in that moment simply envisioning the flower felt like a struggle.

when the ground beneath his palms started to give away, hyungwon could tell that something was amiss. he opened his eyes, but didn’t yet dare peek beneath his hands, even as he felt the dry and slightly scratchy petals of the flower brush against his skin. it stopped growing and kihyun was hovering over his shoulder, yet hyungwon remained immobile.

          “let me see.” kihyun urged softly — it was almost upsetting how patient his voice was. just a whisper of the wind, a gentle summer breeze that caressed his skin yet didn’t rouse his hair. hyungwon didn’t want to remove his hands, but as if led by the call of a siren, his body obeyed. what remained when he removed his hands was, as feared, a wilted, tiny flower that was once a daisy.

kihyun didn’t say anything. then: “try again. you can do it.” gentle encouragement, merely above a breath and hyungwon’s eyes closed again. he placed his hands back against the ground and tried harder this time, despite the presence behind him, the anxiety that made his chest hurtt. in front of his inner eye he drew the image of a vibrant daisy: pure, white petals and a rich green stem that he could almost feel twist and coil beneath the surface. when the earth cracked and the flower sprouted beneath his hands this time, hyungwon grinned. he opened his eyes and removed his hands, knowing already that the flower wasn’t wilted this time around, only to stare at a half formed one. leaves and petals were missing and the previous nervousness quickly started shifting into confusion and panic.

he couldn’t do it anymore.

          “i’ll try again.” he murmured before kihyun could even get a word in.

hyungwon tried — again and again and again. each of the flowers that pushed through the ground and bloomed beneath his palms were incomplete. withered. with each attempt he grew more and more frustrated, yet kihyun remained silent. the silence almost felt worse than anything he could have said because it gave hyungwon the freedom to let his fantasy play tricks on him. he could imagine kihyun’s disappointment in him, could swear that he felt it radiate off the man in waves and settle heavy on his own shoulders and back.

          “i—“ hyungwon’s voice was shaking and when he looked down he could see the tremor of his own fingers.

          “why are you so nervous, your majesty?” kihyun asked carefully. hyungwon had no answer for him, only knew that what was so easy before seemed unreachable. he failed every test that was intended for him to prove himself, to show what he could do. even back home when he still had teachers, even in the north, in front of the court. the pressure to perform to perfection and prove himself was high and in the end that desire for perfection and accuracy seemed to be hindering him.

behind him kihyun inhaled. hyungwon heard steps, saw the soiled soles of kihyun’s shoes came to a halt in front of him before soft hands took his arms and raised him back onto his feet.

          “you don’t need to crouch on the ground to summon. that would be the same as me always sitting by a fireplace — it would be horribly inconvenient.” hyungwon nodded in reply and felt tender fingertips lift his chin. he met kihyun’s eyes reluctantly before he remembered who he was and who he would have to be in order to do what his mother couldn’t.

          “i know that i can do it.” hyungwon said, firmer this time.

          “oh, i don’t doubt that for a second.” kihyun smiled. then: “close your eyes, your majesty.” and hyungwon did. he kept them closed even when he could feel kihyun circle him, warm breath on the back of his neck and the light touch of fingers that came to rest over his eyes.

          “i need you to imagine.” kihyun whispered and his words curled and coiled around hyungwon’s spine, leaving him feeling grounded and afloat at once. “imagine you’re anywhere but here. imagine you’re at a meadow full of flowers. you’re surrounded by the warmth and nature of home. feel the sunlight on your skin. imagine you’re completely free.” hyungwon could feel himself return to the very same place he thought of the first time he summoned a flower. kihyun’s voice was guiding him, making it easy to paint a picture vivid enough that made it possible for him to smell the flowers, hear the joyful chirping of the birds. it felt almost as if his chest expanded with the next inhale.

          “no one is watching you, no one is waiting. there is no one to judge.” hyungwon had already decided that he was prepared to carry the responsibility of his people and the change they were trying to make on his back; but such a decision weighed heavily on him. he didn’t regret it — not one bit — but he was worried. should he fail, the cost would be great far worse than simply disappointment or a wounded ego. it was easy to say he would give his life for his people — it was harder to stomach the thought of them dying for him.

          “you’re completely safe here. you’re safe with me.” kihyun was still there. still behind him. yet his touch felt so light and his presence so comforting, it failed to feel invasive despite his close proximity.

          “you can flourish here, you can master what you've been denied to do for your whole life. when we broke you out, the cell of your jail was covered in flowers. that’s your fate. that’s your path; you leave behind life and creation. your touch heals; it makes everything blossom.” inside his head, the images and scenes started to fuse. his memory was joined by his dream, the same crown he had seen before just barely out of reach.

          “didn’t you use to make beautiful ones for your mother? show me them, show me what you can do now that you're free.”

like tiny pricks of needles, hyungwon felt an uncomfortable sensation spread from the tips of his fingers. it was quickly starting to feel like an itch he couldn’t scratch, a ghost of the discomfort his transformation brought. a part of him wanted to reach out, try to pick and peel at the skin that was burning, but kihyun’s hand was still clasped over his eyes. as the needle pricks spread from his fingertips to his palms, hyungwon uncurled his fists and stretched them out in front of him, palms up.

in front of his inner eye, hyungwon saw flowers grow and bloom. they looked nothing like what he’d created before, nothing like what he’d seen, but the many hours spent bent over books that spoke of tropical plants were the very first that came to his mind. the steam of the hot spring still stuck to his skin, made everything around him dewy with a heat that was nothing like the stifling summers he knew back home.

he heard the walls of the cave crack softly, pebbles falling into the pools of water and when kihyun removed his hand and breathed out a sound of pure amazement, hyungwon finally opened his eyes. tropical, steamy flowers curled forward from the top of the cave, bright and lush petals wet from steam, shaped like stars and dyed in colours that seemed too vivid and peculiar to find in nature.

hyungwon saw bright pinks and blues and flowers in alarming red colours, shaped in half ovals and oddly sharp and pointy. dark vines grew and reached low enough for hyungwon to be able to reach up and touch them. amazed with his own creation, he could only imagine what jooheon felt when he stumbled through the opening of the cave with his jaw slack and eyes wide. the flowers continued to grow and the cave was starting to resemble a greenhouse and jooheon, amongst the hot springs and thickets of the gorgeous, saturated island of flowers that he probably could never dream of seeing in the north, stood mystified. the air was heavy with the scent of hot petals and nectar and hyungwon, slightly bemused but his chest swelling with pride, smiled and thumbed the bright petals, probably resembling something ethereal with the plants that curled and grew around him.

jooheon stepped closer, looked at hyungwon, eyes glazed over in awe, and hyungwon belatedly realised how otherworldly it must look to him and kihyun — a hot spring lush with tropical flowers and him, standing fresh and softly lit in the dark of the cave, standing with the confidence and poise that escaped him for his whole life, that was now finally hot under his skin. it was its own kind of magic.

kihyun stepped into his field of vision and despite what he must have seen before, what he witnessing now seemed to have rendered him silent. hyungwon smiled, feeling light and airy and confident like never before. when he reached out to grasp kihyun’s hand in his, vines were curled around his wrist.

          “i think i’m ready for proper training.”

*

the grey sparrow that carried hyungwon’s letter to hyunwoo had returned, landing on the palm of his hand. it dissolved into smoke and left behind a roll of parchment, bound by a piece of white fabric. hyungwon glanced over his shoulder and saw jooheon’s reassuring smile, his pale face milky under the moonlight.

with one last inhale, hyungwon gently pulled away the fabric and opened the parchment.

                    my dear little brother,  
                    i’m sorry does not begin to cover it. asking for forgiveness would scream  
                    of arrogance and cheek i don’t have. hyungwon, i am so relieved to know  
                    you’re alive and well. i’ve loved you since you were a tiny bundle in  
                    mother’s arms and i will love you now that you’ve changed. i do — but our  
                    country is divided. the king is still alive and he does not agree with my  
                    wishes and ideas. blood has already been spilled on our side, on our  
                    peaceful soil. mother’s death was caused by our own people, they’ve  
                    started to riot. they want the oppression to end. i’m marching into this  
                    war on father’s wish, but, hyungwon, i don’t know what to do.  
                    i will try to stall as long as possible, but i’m afraid the king of the  
                    north is pushing the crown prince just the same.  
                    can this war even be concluded in peace? i want to remain hopeful.  
                    you’ve given me some hope.  
                    your loving brother, hyunwoo.

          “what did he say?” kihyun asked carefully, as if not to disrupt the tense silence that had settled between the prince and jooheon. hyungwon carefully folded the letter and tucked it into his breast pocket before turning to kihyun with newfound resolution.

          “he wants peace. and he’s given me an idea how we might be able to stop this madness.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now for the iris flower: "Purple iris brings a message of wisdom and compliments, while a bouquet of blue iris blossoms speak of hope and faith."


	14. anemone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minhyuk faces his demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup lads i'm back again,,,,, im hoping to update more frequently from now on and i'm of course super excited to hear about what everyone has to say about this update so please do leave comments at the end <3

**** **the western mountain pass, 4 days away from the southern borders**

 

minhyuk inhaled long and deep, felt the chilly air of the fresh winter morning fill his lungs and fail to patch the gap lodged somewhere in his ribcage. it had been there for days, weeks even. it had been there from the moment he walked into their room with heavy steps and a feeling that something was off; the very moment he laid his eyes on hyungwon — dainty and frail and with two fistfuls of cherry blossoms — he had inhaled and felt a wound rip open somewhere inside his chest. 

 

at first, there was anger. 

 

it filled him quickly — brimful and burning, aching. there was so much of it that minhyuk felt like it might overflow every time he opened his mouth. his father’s stories were all too clear memories and all of them spoke of sadness and bloodshed. minhyuk wasn’t yet born when the summoners attacked his kingdom, but his father never let him forget how they had wronged his people. 

he didn’t let him forget and when minhyuk walked into that room and his eyes fell onto hyungwon, onto the summoner, onto the **traitor** , he could hear his father’s broken sobs of grief. _they killed them_ , minhyuk could recall his cries, _they shredded them to pieces_. an innocent woman and child, a child that could have been minhyuk’s sister. 

 

it was easy to tell a monster from a man when those monsters did treacherous things, aggressive and vile as they were, yet hyungwon stood in front of him with a weird resolve and even more odd, but deep sadness. he stood like a statue, with his eyes blood-shot and his hair mussed like a mad-man’s. minhyuk was prepared to fight; in that moment, but his spouse looked nothing like before. he wasn’t the frail little flower minhyuk held in his arms at night, he wasn’t the same boy with the bright smile and the quick mind and the skin that never ceased to smell of summer and the sea breeze. 

 

a monster stood in front of him and when minhyuk pulled his weapon he was fully prepared to fight him — yet hyungwon remained passive. all throughout his audience with the king, minhyuk had been waiting for something. he had been waiting for the beast to show, for the monster to remove its beautiful mask and show the ugly that lay underneath. minhyuk was waiting for his heart to shatter all the way and the betrayal to settle with the knowledge that he was right about all summoners. minhyuk was waiting. 

 

because what he had seen of hyungwon up to this point was serenity. gentleness. an unrevealing kindness that almost took minhyuk’s breath away. when they got married, minhyuk saw nothing but a spoiled and sheltered boy and while his ideals seemed naive and foolish — a child’s dream — at first, minhyuk learned to appreciate it. even when hyungwon didn’t agree with him and gave him contra, he found himself appreciating it. he found himself questioning how to improve as the future ruler. how to be more kind. more patient. how to ultimately lead them into a time of peace. 

 

hyungwon was like a flower; a fragile, little thing in the middle of a snow covered field, and although minhyuk knew the words were used to mock him at first, he found himself longing to carry the flower inside his breast pocket, right above his heart. the place that fell into a warm pitter-patter whenever their skin touched, their eyes met. when hyungwon’s lips touched his and he called his name in that gentle, southern lilt. 

 

the hyungwon that minhyuk met and got to know was a dainty flower, a little peony.

 

the hyungwon that minhyuk saw shackled inside the prison was a monster. a traitor. a summoner. a blood thirsty beast that was no doubt waiting for his chance to snap and show minhyuk just how right he was about them. how right minhyuk was not to trust summoners, how right he was not to trust his lies and pretty words when he tried to grasp for an explanation. 

 

minhyuk was waiting. 

 

and hyungwon, with his body on the ground and shackled on the wall, opened his dirty palms to show him a butterfly made out of the petals of a daisy. it almost felt as if he was being mocked. because minhyuk was ready and waiting, his anger blazing in his throat and ready to spill over, and hyungwon gave him nothing.

 

the explanation he had been hoping for didn’t come and talking with hyungwon did nothing to soothe him, either. he wanted so badly to blame the boy that was sitting in the cell for everything that went wrong. it was his fault that minhyuk’s budding romance was ruined, his fault that the country would fall into war, his fault that minhyuk felt like someone had swiped the ground beneath his feet right when everything seemed to be falling into place. it was his fault that hyungwon was gone.

 

the monster looked like hyungwon and it talked like hyungwon but the unnatural shade of hair on his head was a constant reminder that he was no longer human. minhyuk was angry and the anger didn’t cease when the monster continued to prod and whip with words that his father always told him were poison. 

 

days passed by, days of minhyuk being far away from all that was happening in his kingdom. they had marched and marched, through the cold and the snow. minhyuk had led groups of soldiers before, but never before an army. he had tried to prolong and stop the thread of war for as long as he could, but his father had been persistent and not even the prince could go against his king’s orders. 

 

changkyun had joined them a day ago, silent as a stone. he cast a long look at him that minhyuk didn’t know how to read and looked away. they rode next to each other in silence and it was eating away at minhyuk. everything was eating away at him in that moment; his anger, the frustration, the unknown that was his future and hyungwon’s present and their past. it gnawed at him, through his skin and to the very marrow of his bones. painful like acid poison. 

 

minhyuk inhaled and felt the gap still inside his chest, still weighing heavy on him. heavier than the armour on his shoulders and the sword against his side. minhyuk inhaled and with it came more questions, more unspoken words to clog up his lungs and leave him feeling asphyxiated. 

 

he glanced to the side and saw changkyun’s face, stubborn and unmoving in its sternness. he seemed peculiarly calm until his clenching jaw and twitching nostrils caught minhyuk’s attention. his brother’s suppressed emotions caused something inside his stomach to drop — a deep discomfort paired with the already pre-existing anger that made him want to snap and shout. things clearly weren’t being said and whatever changkyun had been withholding for a day, minhyuk had deserved to hear it long ago.

 

         “do you have something you wish to tell me, changkyun?” minhyuk asked, his voice coming out more snappy than intended.

 

         “aren’t you curious at all?” changkyun replied, finally turned to face him. he was only a child, minhyuk told himself. no more than sixteen summers and seventeen winters to him and he was riding into war alongside his brother, on his father’s wish. a father that didn’t seem to deem changkyun important enough to keep him at home, where he would be safe. minhyuk wasn’t curious why changkyun was sent out to ride with them, he knew their father and knew about his thoughts on how the younger prince needed to man up and ultimately grow. he didn’t agree, but he knew of it. 

 

         “curious as to why you’re here? i can imagine.” 

 

         “curious what happened to hyungwon.” changkyun said and turned to face him. 

 

and amongst all the anger and the frustration, after all the time minhyuk spent waiting as tense as a string pulled tight, he felt the cold edge of a sharp blade cut through it all. the anger didn’t dissolve, it was still there, but it separated and for the first time since minhyuk walked into their room and saw hyungwon, minhyuk felt fear. an inexplicable fear and nervousness that he hadn’t felt before. it might have been there, a small sapling of it lodged somewhere in the bottom of his stomach, but now he could feel it grow and rapidly so because changkyun’s face didn’t change, but the look in his eyes that minhyuk read as simply anger transformed into something else. a sadness paired with frustration. a sadness that had to do with hyungwon. changkyun was **sad** and minhyuk’s nervousness and fear grew long thick vines that wrapped around his very core and squeezed at his heart. they seemed to try and settle into the gap in his chest and he took a moment to swallow what had lodged itself inside his throat.

 

         “he’s still in prison, what could have happened to him?” but minhyuk’s voice was shaky and as he spoke the words, he heard the uncertainty in his own voice. his father had been so insistent to send him away as fast as possible, to keep minhyuk from going down to the dungeon. “he’s **my** prisoner nothing is allowed to happen to him.” 

 

         “since when did the king listen to anyone else once he made up his mind?” the younger prince spoke and turned away, dug his heels into his steed to quicken his steps.

 

         “changkyun,” minhyuk called for his attention and sped up. the summoner was a monster; he looked like a monster, he was tainted like the monsters who left nothing but bloodshed in their path, but he was also hyungwon. “what happened?”

 

changkyun looked at him, his brows pulled into a frown and face more serious than his age would allow. 

         “he was sentenced to death the day i left. they beheaded him the next morning.” 

 

on the day the queen was murdered, minhyuk was there to hold hyungwon in an attempt to ease his grief and suffering. he felt the pain of his cries and understood the helplessness expressed in the uncontrollable shiver of his body. 

 

minhyuk knew death from his own bloodied hands and the battles of his past. 

 

until he heard changkyun speak those words and hold his gaze in sombre defeat, he didn’t know the white noise and ungraspable feeling of loss. it couldn’t be, he told himself, even as changkyun turned away again and focused his eyes on the steep, snowy road ahead. it couldn’t be, he thought, as he fell behind and between rows of soldiers who simply stirred their horses around his. he gripped the reigns harder in his curled fists as if that would help him reaffirm some control over the situation, as if his words and choices hadn’t been ignored, as if his father didn’t go against his wish. 

 

as if it wasn’t his fault that not only a cruel monster but also his spouse had been taken from him. 

 

the memory of hyungwon, kneeling on the dirty dungeon ground and with the white butterfly made out of petals as offering returned to him. minhyuk knew his own stubborn pride that clung to the anger then, he could recall the sharp words he spit in hyungwon’s direction. the threat over his life that he so carelessly threw into the room. 

 

minhyuk recognised the mistake he had made and, just like that, he realised that it had cost hyungwon his life.

 

*

 

they settled down to make a camp a few hours later. changkyun was nowhere to be seen but minhyuk didn’t mind. his head was empty and brimful of thoughts and memories at once. flashes of hyungwon’s voice and his face kept appearing in front of his inner eye and as soon as he got off his horse and handed the reins to one of the knaves, minhyuk sought out some distance. 

 

as the crown prince, minhyuk early on learned that people will give their lives for him. he learned that there was little point to grief when his father taught him that his men were little more than pawns in a much bigger picture. he knew very well that, in his life and during his reign, people would give their life for him and he was prepared. crying was a weakness he wasn’t allowed to indulge in, not even in private. amongst all the pain he felt, minhyuk didn’t cry; but now that the anger and frustration turned numb and the overwhelming feeling of guilt and grief took their place, minhyuk felt suffocated. 

 

his vision grew blurry as he pushed away from the camp and further into the darkness of the forest. he could still hear his men and see the lights of their torches when he crouched beneath the broad bark of a tree and allowed a first sob to escape him. images and scents and hyungwon’s voice floated his senses, his head playing an especially cruel trick on him as he tried to blink away the mist in his eyes and pressed his palms against his face. his heart was hammering as he choked up on tears and the pain in his chest. 

 

at first, there was anger.

 

now there was grief.

 

deeply rooted and heavy. if he felt brimful of anger then he would have never expected to drown in his own sadness, to feel it pull him underwater and close up around him. 

 

summoners were monsters and hyungwon was a summoner, minhyuk knew, but at the same time he was a boy minhyuk took far from home, kissed and loved and shared a bed and smiles with. he had a beautiful heart and the hopeful mind of a child and minhyuk loved him. 

 

he loved him, still. 

 

*

 

**the grave forest, 2 days away from the southern borders**

 

silence filled his tent. orange and red flames gently crackled in the center, the younger prince sitting hunched over and unblinking in front of it. they had talked in the last two days, but barely. minhyuk allowed himself to grieve for a moment, a second in which he felt suspended in time and space with a limitless and ultimate loneliness, before the crown prince returned to his duties. 

 

the enemy borders were two day’s march away and while his men were ready, minhyuk wasn’t. he has fought battles in his life, been wounded and had wounded himself, but the scent of war is a foreign one. oddly calm and almost sweet as it settled over them all. minhyuk knows he probably just imagined it, but to him, the air almost smelt like blooming flowers. 

 

he threw one last glance at the map spread in front of him, the splattered ink and frayed edges. his father and the council had gotten together and created a war strategy. minhyuk had barely been allowed to get a word in and neither did the captain riding alongside him. haste was all the king cared about. haste and victory. 

 

the loss of their men wasn’t a great concern and minhyuk was almost startled to see his father brush away any worries that were voiced. the southern army will be small, the king declared with pride, they stand no chance. 

 

         “we’ll be remaining camped here for a day or two and send out two groups of scouts.” minhyuk finally broke the silence. 

 

         “yes, your majesty.” his first captain grumbled. minhyuk turned to look at changkyun, still hunched, still unmoving. he turned back towards the map and smoothed a palm over it.

 

         “my brother and i will be riding towards the valley.” he pointed at the encircled icon of houses. “the first village is very close to the border and if there’s soldiers gathering we know that the south is prepared to cross the border into our country. you’ll be taking a group of men through the forest and towards the sea. they wouldn’t leave the road to their kingdom’s heart unprotected with a threat of war looming over them.”

 

         “yes, your majesty.” captain kim said. the words echoed inside the void of minhyuk’s chest, along with the responsibility he carried. he inhaled deep and folded the map in half. hints of frustration were lodged in the back of his throat still, but he only knew how to suppress it. in that moment, it was all that was left for him. 

 

         “dismissed.” minhyuk mumbled, cleared his throat as the captain bowed and left his tent. changkyun still hadn’t said a word. the silence was deafening, the tension making minhyuk feel like he was pressed thin and taut like a thread about to rip.

 

         “i know you’re not trained as a scout, but i’ll feel most comfortable having you next to me where i can protect you properly.” the crown prince offered as unrequested explanation. changkyun didn’t even glance his way, still staring at the flames.

 

         “yes, your majesty.” 

 

*

 

it was still too early in the morning for the sun to be out. a layer of white mist had settled over the soft forest soil. no birds could be heard — no thrushes, no ravens, only absolute silence — as they saddled their horses. minhyuk’s limbs were stiff from the cold, from tossing and turning the whole night. the tension never seemed to leave him anymore. 

 

today they would ride out to scout. 

 

he felt changkyun shift behind him, but didn’t turn and instead tightened the buckles of his steed’s harness. deafening voice settled between them, so thick minhyuk thought he could cut through it with his sword. once he thought he understood and knew his brother well, but changkyun’s enduring silence turned him into an enigma. as minhyuk laid awake at night he imagined that his brother must be feeling angry; angry at their father, at the war, at minhyuk. yet his every word was like the sharp edge of a broken ice shard with no hints of fiery anger. that it couldn’t be due to hyungwon’s end was what minhyuk told himself to avoid thinking of it altogether. 

 

he saddled his horse and looked around his men; four of them experienced and quick; one of them his sheltered child of a brother that shouldn’t be anywhere but his very home. 

 

         “ready?” he asked changkyun and got a curt nod in return.

 

         “ready.” 

 

travelling with a handful of men was much faster than travelling with a whole army. they rode for two days, through the protective thicket of the forest, crossed the borders into the south and arrived at the edge of a town right next to the serpent river. 

 

in the very heart of the north a deep winter reigned, but aside from all greenery turning into vibrant shades of red, orange and yellow, the south was warm enough for them to have discarded their furs and left them at the camp. the air was sizzling with dry warmth that made minhyuk’s forehead and nape break out in sweat. 

 

the last time they crossed the borders into the south, summer had just begun. travelling then had been a tense ordeal. despite the peace treaty and the many trusted soldiers that travelled with minhyuk, his father had been almost certain an attack on his person was unavoidable. minhyuk had been tense, but not so much worried about his safety. all that he knew about the second prince then was his face of remarkable beauty with the selfish temper of a child. he recalled the gentle rays of the sun falling through stained glass windows and onto hyungwon’s white robe, hair the colour of ravens’ feathers and skin like the tender kiss of the summer sun. he radiated warmth as he stood next to minhyuk, even with the petulant and sudden expression, he was a sunflower.

 

_was._

 

his heart started aching again.

 

or maybe it never stopped and the pain had just grown more dull before.

 

they bound their horses at the edge of the forest and continued on foot. the night downed much earlier than in summer and created the perfect shelter for them. they had to tread quietly and softly, stay unnoticed. minhyuk kept a steel grip around changkyun’s wrist as they walked. stiff and tense. the gaping hole in his chest was still open wide.

 

two guards were positioned at the gate to the village. no walls protected the village, only a low wooden fence that ran along the houses on one side, with the river shielding it from the north. they crossed the river in two small riverboats, three by three, hoods pulled low over their eyes and a white knuckled grip on their weapons. 

 

from up close it became apparent that the town was still buzzing with life, despite the late hour. there was a hush of voices that settled heavy over his chest, penetrated the darkness of his hood and then grew almost overwhelming once he tugged the material back. the centre of the unrest seemed the heart of the village and while still remaining hidden in the shadows, they followed the panicked steps of the townspeople. what they couldn’t see from the outside was that the town was swarming with soldiers, all of them wearing a white ribbon against their chest to represent mourning for their queen. what appeared to be a general, an older man with a stiff high collared jacket and many brooches attached to his chest, stood in the midst of the audience that had gathered. minhyuk watched his sombre face as he studied the faces of the people and raised his arms before speaking. 

 

         “settle down, please.” the man tried to soothe the gossiping folk, his eyes swiping over heads and leading a trail of quietness. “i understand the commotion and your discomfort at us being here, but it is the king consort’s wish for us to visit even the furthest town in the south.” by now the gathered mass had grown still, eyes wide and dark heads all facing the same direction, like a garden of sunflowers. the general paused for a moment and lowered his arms. his men next to him grew tense.

 

         “the queen was murdered.” he said, sombre and soft. minhyuk’s own heartbeat sounded louder than the brief murmur of the crowd. they fell silent almost immediately, some holding their breath, others with a hand clasped against their lips. minhyuk made eye contact with the rest of his men before pulling changkyun up a flight of stairs along one of the houses and up onto the flat rooftop. 

         “she was murdered,” the man started again, “and not by our enemy, but our own people. our own people and a group of monsters.” his words struck something in minhyuk’s chest again. aching, pulsing pain. “we learned that the rebellion in our own country never ceased to exist but simply hid away, waiting for the right moment to strike the monarchy. and the price for our carelessness was our dear queen’s life.” a sob could be heard somewhere and minhyuk only then started to think about how those people actually loved their queen. they loved their ruler. benevolent and beautiful and kind; what would they think if they learned what happened to her son?

 

         “they’re acting like she isn’t the cause for the suffering of those so called ‘monsters’.” changkyun hissed next to him. it was the most he had said since they reunited and the flat and suppressed tone of his voice caused minhyuk to look at him, confused. 

 

         “our mission here is to go from one town to the other and make sure that no rebels are hiding and to inform people of their dangers. if found, those rebels are to be killed on sight.” the general finished and finally his audience gave a proper reaction. a series of gasps was heard, disbelief and shock running through the rows of people, all of them no doubt wondering about the gravity of those monsters’ sins if all that expected them was immediate death without trial. 

 

         “we need to get out of here.” minhyuk whispered and pulled changkyun back just as the soldiers started moving again. then, a loud thud, a scream and finally the general’s booming voice proclaiming in the south’s native language: “the enemy!” 

 

everything happened very quickly after that. he pulled his sword and heard changkyun do the same. his feet moved on their own accord, lead him back down the flight of stairs in time to saw the southern soldiers reach his men. they were hopelessly outnumbered, he realised very quickly as more of them rounded in on them, circled them. he tried to reach for changkyun and pull them in the middle of them all, while parring the incoming slash of a long sword. the sound of the clattering metal rang in his ears, his arm shaking. sweat stuck to his skin, his blood burning and boiling, teeth clenched. more and more of them arrived as panic overtook him. panic for his brother’s life, for his own. every step he took back, his chances of escape slimmed. the scent of iron stung his nose, a grunt filling his ears, then another scream. guttural. gutted. 

 

         “minhyuk!” changkyun screamed his name. panic was audible in his voice, in his fingers on minhyuk’s arm. panic was evident in his own moves, desperation that made him lash out harder and less precise. terrifying and unhinged and minhyuk _was_ terrified. a sword came at him, his parr weak and suddenly the metal graced his arm, nicked his shirt and his skin. he couldn’t let his brother be hurt. he couldn’t lose him. he wouldn’t _lose_.

 

         “hold your breath.” changkyun suddenly commanded and wrapped a clammy hand covered in cloth over minhyuk’s mouth. he saw a vial fly and realised it was poison the moment he stopped breathing. there wasn’t enough time to think about whether or not the southern soldiers would all fall; him and changkyun grabbed at each other and minhyuk ran. with his eyes closed, heart beating painfully and breath stuck in his throat he ran through the green yellow cloud his brother caused. they ran and ran, pushed at bodies and stumbled and he opened his eyes only when the air stopped feeling sticky, gasped for breath as civilians moved out of their way and the river returned to his field of vision. men were still hot on their heels and minhyuk didn’t dare turn to find out how many, if any, of his own had made it. 

 

the water felt pin needle cold and iron heavy as it seeped into his boots. he unclasped his cloak, dropped his sword and ignored the burning of his lungs. the water splashed wildly with every step they took, even louder in his ears when arrows started to whizz past them and the southern soldiers reached the river. 

 

         “horse— horses, min—“ changkyun gasped next to him, his words slurred and gurgled as he choked on the river water. men were shouting behind them, but all minhyuk could think of was faster, go, go, _go_. the stream pulled them along and made it even harder to swim than their heavy gear. the riverbank didn’t seem to move any closer while minhyuk’s heavy handed attempts to speed up grew more sluggish. his body was struggling to keep up, even as his mind urged and urged and urged. 

 

his fingers found mud, clawed and pulled and tried to help him escape the river that wrapped around them in a deathly grip. changkyun was panting next to him and pushing against minhyuk’s shoulders. his own legs felt weak and locked as he ran into the darkness of the woods. it was hard to see with the moonlight barely grazing the forest ground, but the nervous neighing of their horses lead their path. with his clothes wet and stuck to his body, it felt hard to move, harder still when the wind picked up and blew cold air up his spine. changkyun was still there, clammy hand holding his fingers in an iron grip, and once they reached their horses and minhyuk reached for the handle of the saddle, he finally threw a glance back. 

 

from the distance torchlights approached.

 

         “hurry. changkyun _hurry_!” he urged his brother and kicked his heels against his steed’s sides. wind whipped loudly against his ears. the gallop and heavy fall of hooves. his heart hammering and pumping blood. it was all so _loud_.

 

deafening silence was no more. 

 

*

 

they rode on for hours. minhyuk’s skin had grown numb with cold, his teeth clattering behind blue lips. next to him, changkyun started slipping off his horse with the cold overcoming his body. both of them were children of the north, but the earliest hours of the day, where morning and evening met, were by far the coldest. they rode on for hours and the rhythmic fall of horse hooves behind them disappeared almost as long ago, but no ease settled over minhyuk’s heart. 

 

they had nothing. their weapons were washed away by the river and his resolve evaporated with each exhale of warm breathe into the pitch black night. 

 

he reached out to grasp at the reins of changkyun’s horse and stopped his own. they had nothing and making a fire would be dangerous, potentially attract enemies worse than a wild animal, but changkyun was starting to look ashen and minhyuk couldn’t watch him freeze to death. he got off his horse and pulled changkyun off next. his eyelids were fighting to stay open, body shivering helplessly. minhyuk didn’t feel much better but he moved swiftly; gathered dry pieces of wood and dug for the firestone he had tucked in his pocket. 

 

when they finally sat curled together in front of the fire, it was with their bodies heavy and tired with exhaustion and faces glum. minhyuk had his arm curled around changkyun and hummed beneath his breath the way their mother used to do when they crawled into her bed after nightmares. it was a small consolation, but it was all he could give. every now and then he would press his lips against the crown of changkyun’s head, search for the blazing skin of his forehead and find it with more and more worry each time. the worry went hand in hand with guilt; had he left changkyun at the camp, he wouldn’t have to go through any of that. he wouldn’t have to see death so closely. he wouldn’t have blood sticking to his clothes. he wouldn’t be feverish and weak in the middle of the forest. 

 

         “min— minhyuk,” his younger brother started through the clatter of his teeth. minhyuk turned his head and hummed in question, but never ceased the comforting rubbing of his hand on changkyun’s shoulder blade. “i’m sorry.” the boy finally said and minhyuk felt choked up all over again. 

 

         “what for?” he asked and ignored the crack in his voice. 

 

         “ignoring y—ou. and being an— angry.” silence. minhyuk didn’t know what to say so he squeezed him harder, held him closer. if their father didn’t send them into war none of this would have happened. if hyungwon didn’t turn out to be a summoner nothing would have been escalated. if only minhyuk didn’t meet him his heart and his mind wouldn’t feel so impossibly void. 

 

         “you have every reason to be angry, changkyun.” minhyuk whispered. his brother remained quiet, but the crown prince could feel him snuggle closer and tuck himself tighter against minhyuk’s side, no doubt seeking more warmth. 

 

         “the queen hurt them, you know?” the boy started again after a while. minhyuk could feel his eyelids growing heavier and didn’t manage more than a hum. “hyungwon told me how they were raised in a house away from their family. how they had teachers that hurt them. how they hurt him too so they could break his spirit. he said he didn’t know why they did it. he didn’t know why no one wanted to touch him and no one treated him like his brother and— and in a way i understood him. father never treated us the same either, most people at home looked down at me, but i knew that’s why i wanted to follow the path that i do. and i was older.” changkyun paused. “i can’t imagine what it feels like to be a little child and be treated like that. like a monster.” minhyuk inhaled and opened his eyes. he stared at the fire and didn’t move. his heart was still there, still painfully knocking against his ribcage. 

 

         “changkyun,” minhyuk started softly, “i know you want to sympathise with that, but it’s not the same, you don’t know what they did—“

 

         “i know.” his brother cut in. he moved away a second later and met minhyuk’s eyes. “i know what summoners did to father, but that was so long ago, minhyuk. that was before either of us were born, those were other people, different people. hyungwon couldn’t help what he is, he was born into that body and so were all the other kids.” minhyuk sighed and started to shake his head. he didn’t want to hear it; after the turmoil in his head and his heart and the grief, he didn’t want to hear.

 

         “you believed that not all southerners are bad and that not everyone is born evil when no one else in our country did. why is it so hard for you to believe that he meant no harm?” 

 

the guilt. it was that heavy guilt that was wrapped around his neck like an anchor, drowning him in deep, cold waters. it was that guilt and the knowledge that he might have changed something, that he might have been able to help. minhyuk wanted to carry it on his shoulders silently, he wasn’t one to breathe a word about his feelings, but changkyun’s eyes were imploring in the flicker of the fire. seeking. 

 

         “because that would mean that his blood is on my hands. an innocent young man died and it’s my fault.” changkyun’s hand reached for his. icy cold fingers gripped at him.

 

         “i’m not sure you could have stopped father even if you wanted to.” 

 

minhyuk felt himself smile. felt warmth spread through his body, then just over his left shoulder, behind him. 

 

he inhaled and flames rose around them, surrounded them. his hand automatically went to his hip, but found no sword and a bit too late minhyuk realised that he had stopped paying attention to their surroundings and to the dead silence that had overtaken the forest. changkyun’s fingers dug into the skin of his arm as a hooded figure approached over the boy’s shoulder. next to it two more appeared, clad all in black. 

 

with the wave of an arm, the flames parted ways for the hooded figure to step closer and into the small circle. minhyuk was on his feet and in front of his brother a second later, prepared to take whatever to shield him. the figure was almost as tall as him and paused, raised a hand to remove the hood of their cloak only to reveal, long flowing hair. bright red. a beautiful face with dark, slanted eyes greeted him. 

 

         “well, well, well,” the young woman started. her voice had the same lilt as hyungwon’s, the same as every other southerner. “we only came to check who had dared breech so far into our territory, but imagine the surprise when we stumbled on the north’s two sons.” her lips pulled into a smirk and her pure arrogance would have irked minhyuk more, had he not been surrounded by burning flames that were starting to lick almost painfully at his skin. 

 

the woman snickered, brief and amused, before she raised her hands next to her shoulders, palms up and bowed mockingly. the flames around them disappeared as she lowered her body, but before any of them could move, one of the other hooded figures stomped their foot against the soft soil and in a split second thick bars of stone rose around them, effectively creating a cage. 

 

         “minhyuk…” changkyun whispered behind him, his voice filled with panic. “min— i don’t feel so well.” it was then that minhyuk’s head whipped around, fingers gripping at his brother’s body just as his knees gave in and he started to sink. something sharp hit the back of his neck. there was no pain, but an unshakeable heaviness that took him all; satin that fell like heavy curtains and narrowed the edge of his vision. with every last bit of energy minhyuk had, he pulled changkyun into his chest. 

 

then; darkness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meaning of the flower: symbol of anticipation, expectations

**Author's Note:**

> i also now have a separate fic [twt](https://twitter.com/wonnietv) just for spoilers and updates as well as a [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/wonnietv) for questions n prompts!   
> additionally, i made a playlist out of the songs i listen to while writing on flowers if anyone is interested they can check it out [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/4a5szg1smyj9qjqena86mpw5v/playlist/5qq0WJzc1LksjthngyGK6u)


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